abortion

i know this is a very sensitive topic yet i have a couple questions. i was watchiong tv and it got me thinking. if any of you women have had this at an early age can you tell me a little about it. Does it hurt? How long do you have to stay in the clinic before you can leave? IS it costly? just something i would like to be informed on. thank you for your time.

[rae5040]

I don't know the price range or how long you are kept in the clinic but I do know that it IS painful, ......For the FETUS. You might not believe it but I've seen it. I've seen the twisted faces. There are other options if this is something you are really looking into. If it has a heartbeat, it has a life. It might seem fine now but in the longrun, killing something, even someone you haven't met or want nothing to do with will haunt you. My cousin went through an abortion.  Please weigh other options. There is adoption!! There are so many families that cannot have their own children that would love the possibility of adopting an infant. I'm sorry if any of this sounded harsh. I just really hope that you will do research on the abortion thing. They might tell you that it is painless for you and the fetus but I have seen a fetus being aborted. It feels pain too. And nothing can account for the pain YOU will have in the long run.

[JJety]

From what I gathered from your other post, you have a very minimal chance of being pg, if the pool was your only unprotected encounter.  

Seriously, all of this worrying can create havoc for your cycles, make you late, and that will create more stress.  Try not to worry about this until you actually find out if you're pg.

I cannot stress enough how highly I recommend birth control for you.  If you're considering abortion then you definitely need to be on birth control to prevent you from having to make such an unthinkable decision.  Please please please!  Planned Parenthood, your local Health Department, anything.  Please go!

[scared101]

ok yet how early am i able to start birth control. i thought it had to be started at the beginning of the month... and really, by stressing myself out can make it worse? how does this happen??

[JJety]

Birth control is not started based on the calendar.  It's started based on your cycle.  You would start taking the pill on the Sunday after your period starts.  You will take 3 weeks worth of pills, then during the 4th week you have your period.  Then you start all over again with a new pack on the Sunday after you started.

Stress can affect your cycle - it can make you late.  Then, if you're late, you'll stress even more.  It's a snowball effect.  Eventually your period would start but the agony of not knowing if you're pg makes it very hard.

So, ideally you would go to the doctor now and get some packs of pills.  Then, if you're not pg (and I'm betting you're not if your pool story was accurate), your period will start and you will start the pills on the first Sunday after you started.  There are other options besides the pill too - you can get the patch or the ring, and those don't have to be remembered every single day.  As always, wear comdoms too to prevent STD's.

[JJety]

Oops, "condoms".

Also, you could visit www.nuvaring.com or www.orthoevra.com to read more about the Ring or Patch.

[Trentonsmom]

Although I am against Abortion, especially after having 2 Miscarriages, I am not one to judge. BUT, I would like to say that I agree with Adoption. There are so many families out there that are not able to have children. Why end a life when you have every opportunity to give it a happy and full life with someone else. I have a friend who had an abortion when she was in high school. She has told me several times there is not a day that goes by that she doesn't think about what she did and how much it hurts.

[w4lucy]

There are often long term side effects that go along with abortion that you would want to consider, should you be pregnant and decide to go this route.  This includes depression that often will not show up until years down the road.  Also, it may be more difficult for you to conceive later in life.

[AnnieBrooke]

This is, as you can see, not the best place to ask general informational questions about abortion.  Largely ladies who gravitate here and to the Maternal forum are ones who are trying to get pregnant, and it breaks their hearts for that reason alone to hear of someone who might be pregnant thinking of throwing away the  thing that everyone wants.  Also a lot of posters have extremely strong convictions about the ethics and morality of the issue.  You will also get some who write to you in very judgmental terms (involving killing and murder and God's punishment) and I don't think that would make you feel less stressed.  (It even usually starts a fight to write in hinting that abortion could be a solution in some cases.)  If you need answers on cost, pain, and whether there are long-term emotional side effects, you might be better off looking for a different site.  

Incidentally, I don't think you are pregs, the encounter you described is not that likely to produce a pregnancy.  But please get yourself some birth control, because what you are doing now is putting yourself in jeopardy.

[Trentonsmom]

Very well said. Thank you.

[mslkpage]

Ditto to trentonsmom.

[WilliamsMom]

I just want to let you all know that this message board is not just for women who are trying to get pregnant, it is for help when you don't know where to turn. Everybody has their own feelings on abortion, this young girl is not asking for your feelings on it. She is asking for help on where to find answers for prices and what it feels like. I have mixed feelings on the subject, I too I have had a child, suffered a miscarriage and am pregnant with another child, but I would not say hurtful things to a girl who is scared and does not know what to do. You woman who are trying to conceive come to this website with hope that somebody will answer your questions, do not take that away from another woman who needs her questions answered. You people are rude.

[w4lucy]

I disagree with you somewhat.  We're not being rude--we're answering the question with our own opinions and knowledge, which is what we do when answering other questions.  This forum gives us the opportunity to express our concerns and feelings.  I agree that we do not need to say hurtful things to anyone.  However, having an abortion does raise a concern for several people.  Many of us either know firsthand or have heard of the effects of it, and it's important for us to feel free to express our concerns and beliefs.

[AndiJ78]

I agree with Annie. And completely disgree that you are entitled to make a woman who is scared and seeking INFORMATION feel worse about her situation. On this I do not feel you are entitled to interject your opinion, if serves no constructive purpose in assisting her, but rather only pushing your own agenda. I have suffered 5 losses myself, but I am also aware enough to know that I do not walk in her shoes or the shoes of any other woman on here. It is easy for someone to suggest adoption, but not everyone is in a position to carry a baby whether it be for lack of insurance, physical issues, or just the general awareness that they are not capable of providing the right type of prenatal care or environment required for it.

So please, keep in mind that you are not offering anything helpful to this poster. Scaring her into keeping a child is not your place or position. Have some compassion for a person in need of support.

Andi

[scared101]

Andi and williamsmom, thank you for your words.

I guess thank you for the feed back at all. Yet women that are so quick to suggest adoption do not understand what some other women go through. Whether it be being to young and not ready for even the responsibility or being pregnant, money reasons, or what have you. I'm sorry that i did spark such a sensitive subject, but coming from one woman to the next, I came here looking for answers not to have my head chewed off about what you would do. There are many times in a young womans life when they feel that they are not ready to take on such a big responibility, yet yes having sex to begin with runs a big risk, but who's to say that it was shared with the person you knew you were going to be with forever. Yes i do understand that by having an abortion you are taking away a life from a child that could grow and live a healthy life. But what about the carrier, does she have no say in how she wants her body to come into effect.. She has the choice on what she at this time in her life has/needs to do. You should not try and push your views onto me. I came looking from answers to questions i have, JUST LIKE YOURSELF, yet my questions are different than yours. Thank you for everything tho.

[oceans3]

you are not even pregnant..am i correct?

[w4lucy]

Not trying to bite anyone's head off or scare anyone into anything.  I just was offering the best answer I had to the question.  I think people read into things the wrong way sometimes.

[Red_Rose]

Ok everyone lets take a breathe here. From what Ive read no one is really chewing scared's head off (I hope not! :-P) but it is emotional. I myself dont agree with abortion, but will say that everyone makes their own decision. On a site like this opinions will come up as we all talk from experience or opinion in answers. Scared, people only suggest things as adoption because they care for both u and the child, even if its not for you, its something to think on. Just as then someone may say for example they had one was fine etc. For prices etc google is the place for that. I dont think people know the price unless they had it and every place is probably different.

And from what people are saying u dont seem pregnant so precautions is the step to stop this even having to be a decision for you. All I know is my sister in law had an abortion young, about 15 I think and she got clinically depressed because of what she done and she couldnt concieve (conceive) for 10 years, and is still depressed. Im not saying this to scare u, its just a fact to think on. Just like u said would it hurt? Physically, from what I read if they Dilate and Courette (SP) the dilation of the cervix is violently painful, emotionally, I dont think anyone could not be affected but you would have to decide that. Adoption in itself could be emotionally painful and thats why (hopefully ur not preg) u have now learnt a valuable lesson. To be careful.

All the best

[AndiJ78]

Actually, a D&C is not painful at all, they use pain meds to control that, in fact when I had my d&c for my 3rd m/c, I was put out completely and the pain following was managed well with a few pain pills.

Andi

[mslkpage]

Andi is right. Neither of my D&C's were physically painful at all. Maybe some discomfort afterwards but nothing "violently painful."

[Red_Rose]

o! Thats what I read, but then again it was an anti abortion site which could be something to do with it. They said its worse than a normal labour as ur forced to contract etc.

[scared and wondering]

well obviously i am remorseful if i made the comment that i have sunk into depression because i feel guilty for what i have done...i know what i did and i know i have to deal with it...i just would rather not see anybody else deal with it....i know God did not punish me for terminating a pregnancy but in my head i feel as though i am punished...this is just another obstacle for me to overcome and i know i will. Like I said..."i still have my whole life ahead of me" to have a child....im not in a rush to do it now..

[AndiJ78]

I agree, planned parenthood is an excellent resource. Great idea sailorswife. I believe they have a website that can give you information and get you in touch with counselors that can help you.

Andi

[scared and wondering]

i just want to say that 3 years ago, i had an abortion when i was 7 weeks pregnant, because i felt i was not ready to bring a baby into the world...i was young, immature, and did not have alot of money...i will tell you this now....i REGRET my decision full heartedly and wish to this day that i had never done it...there is not a day that goes by that i dont think of what my life could have been like with a little toddler running around now...i have sunk into depression because of it and have been to 3 different therapists....now i have cancer on my ovary and i may never get to have a baby...Im only 21 years old...i still have my whole life ahead of me....I guess cancer is my way of getting punished for what i have done....so I beg of you....please dont take that route....if you feel like you cant keep it...give it up for adoption...there are plenty of ladies here who would probably give their life to have a baby...just please think about that....

[mslkpage]

Do you really think God punished you with cancer because you were not ready to have a baby? You're obviously remorseful, and I was always taught that God forgives our mistakes. Humans were not created to be perfect. I would think there would be a lot more women with cancer if that was retribution for terminating a pregnancy.

Let's quit the pro-life/pro-choice debate here, because the original poster is most likely NOT pregnant.

[mslkpage]

They lied.

[w4lucy]

I know we're kind of getting off subject but just wanted to say I think we often confuse punishment with consequences.  I don't personally believe God ever punishes us for any specific sins.  But, there are certainly consequences we have to deal with because of choices we have made.  I think there's a difference...

[mslkpage]

Of course there are consequences for our behavior and choices. But that doesn't mean that ovarian cancer is the consequence for choosing terminate a pregnancy. It's completely unrelated.

[glad2bamom]

Back to the issue of opinions, when you ask a question here, without a doubt, you are asking for opinions.  No one's opinion is right, or wrong.  Each person has their own history that has formed the way they feel.  
The original poster said something about pregnancy being a big responsbility, and some people just aren't ready for that responsibility.  Well, honestly, if you can't handle the consequences, you shouldn't be having sex.  At the very least, you should be responsible enough to protect yourself.
However, I think the general consensus is that this girl isn't even pregnant.  She should use this entire thread as a learning process....use protection!!
I speak from experience.  Abortion is something that never leaves you...I carry my now 17 year old child in my heart every day of my life.  Abortion is not a form of birth control.
Not now, not ever.
It's not an argument of pro-life/pro-choice.  It's an argument of being responsible with your body.  If you open yourself up to be pregnant, you're opening yourself to many, many worse things, like diseases that you can't cure.
Be smart, make good choices, and you don't have to worry about this issue anymore.  And, if you can't make good choices, then dont' have sex.  Period.

[who_is_this]

Abstinence has never been a particularly sucessful form of birth control.  People might mean to abstain until they are ready, but as we all know (and some posters here are unmarried, in bad financial situations and deliberately get pregnant) all the good intentions in the world can go right out of your head in the heat of the moment.

It's best to teach responsibility in the form of using an effective form of birth control until you are ready to have children. Birth control sometimes fails though, and then it is up to the WOMAN to decide what to do next.  Or a person who means strongly to remain abstinent gets carried away.  Abortion a right in this country.  We may not agree with it personally, but it is a legal right.  

[Tia Lucila]

As far as the price for an abortion...
The Supreme Court has said a woman has a right to an abortion, but she doesn't have the right to have the government pay for it.  IE, the price depends on your state.

[jodi14108]

I am 23 yrs old and i have two children. I have a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old. Last Feb i had an abortion. I didnt have a choice. After my son was born a week later i was in the ICU with pulmonay embolisms (Blood clots). 95% of my lungs were filled with these little blood clots and all the doctors told my family to say there goodbyes to me, and start making arrangements because i wasnt going to make it. No one told me how bad it was. About two weeks in Icu and in the hospital on 8 different meds, i made it.

In Feb (my husband had a snip-a-dick-ta-me) 5 weeks before this. I found out i was pregnant. I was told if i had another child i was going to DIE. I get blood clots from being pregnant. So i had to get an abortion. I didnt have the option. Either i try and have this child or i die and leave my two children without there mommy. I went into Planned Parenthood (my gyno wouldnt do it) and the first time you go in, they make you sit in the waiting room, and there is a hold bunch of people. You fill out some forms, and than when they are ready they call your name. You are the only one allowed to go back there, no one can go with you. From there you go into a room and speak with someone and fill out paperwork. Than you go to another waiting in the back and sit and wait again. After waiting some more you go to another room where you do a sonogram. They dont show you the screen. They make you take your pants off and put a skirt on. Than when they can tell that you are pregnant they take pictures and send you back to the waiting room. From there you still wait until they send you into the "room".
I had to have the procedure done twice. I did the pills that you take to terminate, and at first it feels like nothing, than when you get home and put the pills up inside your vaginal canal and about 20 minutes or so they bleeding starts. The pain at times was completely unbearable. The cramps and the bleeding. You will pass very large clots.
I went back a week later for a check up and they do another sono on you, and come to find out there was something else still in there. So i had to go for the surgery. I did no drugs nothing. Just needed it to be done and over with. They put you in the room, and put your legs up in those things (cant rememeber off the top of my head.) and the dr. comes in and looks at the pics and than they start the suction things. It to is extremely painful when they are in you. Its like being to the gyno. When they are finished with that a woman goes into another room to see what was taken out to make sure they were finished. When they know they have gotten everything they sit you up and take you to a recovery room. (come to find out i didnt need to do the surgery part they could have given me the pills and it would have worked but the sono girl didnt tell me that the pills would 100% work and i could have to do it again).
In the waiting room they make you sit and have you drink some water and give you some pills to take. When i got the surgery part done, i had no one with me. I drove there and after being in recovery for 15 mins or so i got dressed and left. Drove myself home. Bleeding isnt bad with the surgery.
You do whatever you need to do. I do regret that i had it done, and it almost ruined my mariage. My husband was upset that i couldnt care the baby, and i had no say in it. My body has a mind of its own. This blood disorder i have, has never shown up in any other family members. My insurance paid for all of it too.
There may be some women in here that may not like all the information i am posting, but this woman asked. I am going to let her know what i went threw so IF she needs to go threw this than she can at least know what is going to happen,.
I hope this helped you!

[w4lucy]

mslkpage: I totally--I don't think it's a punishment at all.

Good intentions or not, abstinences is still the ONLY 100% effective form of birth control.  If you don't have sex, you won't get pregnant--bottom line.  However, when people know going into it that they don't want to choose to refrain, then they do need to think responsibly.

Looks like we're all off chasing rabbits on this post, eh??  hehee:-)

[clar4171]

ON THE OTHER SIDE-

I had an abortion when i was 17, and I never regretted it for a moment. I have seen what kids who are placed in adoption family's can go through, you never know if your kid would get a good home or a bad one, its like throwing it out into the world and saying, bye hope you get a good family! anyway I have never regretted it for a second because I know that my baby is back with God now, and maybe I can have him/her when I am older and more prepared to have a baby.

As for the procedure, it was early enough in the pregnancy that I took a pill that caused a miscarriage, so i did not have to go through surgery, and after I took it I threw up, then have severe cramps for the remainder of the night, but was ok by the next morning. They gave me some pain pills to help, and it ran me about $500.

Hope this gives a little more perspective from both sides.

[scared101]

clar4171,

how early in th pregnancy were you that you were able to take the pill?

[laladoren1]

Hi.  I am 21 and had an abortion in March.  Before I became pregnant I was never sure what I would do if I had an unwanted pregnancy.  My fiance is adopted by his grandparents, and even it being in the family and knowing his real parents has been extremely hard on him.  I can't imagine what it would be like having a child grow up without knowing who they are and where they came from.  Also, I didn't feel as if I was emotionally able to carry a child.  We dicided together the an abortion was the best option for both of us.  Neither of us have regretted it since.  

About the procedure: it didn't hurt at all and wasn't a bit scary.  I will admit that I was nervous initally, but after the procedure was explained everything was fine.  The procedure cost $400, which included the initial consultation, the abortion, twilight sedation, and a follow-up visit.  With the twilight sedation, I pretty much slept through the whole procedure and didn't feal a single thing.  I was pretty tired afterward, but that was just side effects from the sedation.  I don't remember a single thing that happened after I got on the table.  The day after I was completely fine.  I blead off and on for about 2 weeks.  It was usually pretty light, but days that I engaged in more physical activity (exercising, etc.) it was a little heavier.  There was also some tissue that came out with the blood-left over tissue from the abortion.  I was never in pain and haven't had any complications since.  Also, having an abortion does not reduce your chances of concieving in the future.  

Hope this helped.  If you need to know anything else, feel free to ask!

[w4lucy]

Actually, there are TONS of different kinds of adoption agencies. Many allow the mother to look at extensive backgrounds of families wanting to adopt and pick the family.  So, it's not necessarily like just throwing a child out in the unknown.

[bkgurl84]

email me at kitcat_84***@****

[oceans3]

i know everyone has their OWN situation and all but hearing the actual details is litterally making me ill. i know i should not read but cant help it. id rather not know?
i am so sorry for anyone who has to endure this for whatever reason in their life. makes it all the more real when you hear  the details. i hope those of you who live day to day counting the years of how old their child would be, find some sort of peace. just know that they are always there with you and are an angel for someone...maybe you.

[33 mom of 2]

and abortion can cost you 400-600 in cali at planned parenthood. but i found that most most the woman who had one did it because this felt they had no chose. i worked at pp and abortion day way the saddest day for me working there. i was lucky enough to never have to make that chose. so my advise to anyone who has to it ask your self if you like the face you see looking back in the mirror. because if you like your self and have no douts that all that matters and to hell with everyons eles

[33 mom of 2]

forgive me for my spelling errors it was late when i wrote it. i just hope you understand what i was trying to say. and that you need to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. to all the women who had too make this chose pls pls keep your head up and stand tall its the only way you can forgive yourself.

[Loopy Wafflehead]

I have no right or wrong answers for you just a story. At age 23 I had my first born son a healthy ten pound baby boy that I struggled to carry for nine months then a very difficult labor but he was born a okay. I took the mini pill afterwards , breastfed and was a good mommy. So when I didnt have a period I knew this was normal due to breastfeeding , not all but most women lose menses until after they are done breastfeeding. I continued my mini pill using condomns because I didnt want another pregnancy. Guess what? When my baby boy was 10 months old I found I was pregnant and at that point the father had left me alone to raise this baby and pregnant with a second.I was scared , I asked alot of opinions of friends  , etc. I went to the doctor , and was told early on (( 5 weeks )) that something wasnt right. I had sonograms done , and I was told the fetus , what have you , wasnt forming right , wasnt big enough for gestational age , would probably be a special needs baby . I was really panicked , frightened and even considered death. I did opt for abortion so at 7 weeks this was done. I was told everything from " you did what was best " to " just think of it as being cleaned out to start anew"  and you know what? It has been 6 years since I had that done to me and I still feel terrible , ask myself the typical " what if's " The choice is yours dear , you have to weigh the pros and cons , and you will also have to live with the decision you make . Good luck to you and hopefully you will start your period and not have to consider abortion. Relax and God Bless ya.

[anonymouspre-med]

Depending on what state you're in, costs will naturally vary. As others have posted here, it's usually around $400 to $600 dollars, but in some cases, your insurance can cover the cost of the abortion, and what you end up paying is simply the co-pay typical for every other office visit.

If you decide to terminate early enough, there are two options: first, by a pill, and second, by an evacuation of your uterus. In the second case, you are offered a sedative, but certainly not everyone decides to take one, and not everyone finds it necessary. There can be cramping pain during the procedure if you haven't taken a sedative, but the cramping is equivalent to severe menstrual cramping, though it lasts only for the duration of the procedure, which is 5 to 10 minutes. There is usually only mild cramping later the day of, and possibly the next day. With the pill, there are significantly more hormonal effects, coupled with cramping, and the cramping can last a few days. In either case, there will be bleeding. The procedure usually produces less bleeding than the pill. The doctor's office or PP will advice you not to exert yourself in the days following the procedure/pill but within a week, you can be back to your "normal" self. Follow-up visits a week, and then a month later are recommended.

An evacuative abortion is a surgical procedure, and, like all surgeries, has associated risk. However, there is still a lesser risk to a woman's health in having an induced abortion than there is in carrying a fetus to term. Basically, there are simply more complications in pregnancy, though fortunately, more often than not, pregnancies are "normal." I recommend that you read about abortion on PP sites as well as on www.guttmacher.org, a non-profit source of information.

Speaking to the emotional side of things, and perhaps, after you've read up a bit more on induced abortions, you'll discover that abortions are not nearly as uncommon as you might suspect. It is because the topic is so controversial in the United States that things are very "hush-hush." This is not the case, for example, in Europe, where such a surgical procedure doesn't carry nearly the stigma that it does here.

Other posters are correct, though: abortion is not a method of birth control. And yes, if you're having sex, you should be aware of the consequences, from STDs, to emotional anxiety, to pregnancy. However, should you become pregnant and believe that it's not the right time for you to have a child, then you simply shouldn't. Be aware of what is right for you, be aware of the enormous costs of raising a child, be aware of the stigmas and the possible emotional consequences of an abortion, be aware that there is a tremendous potential for joy in having a child, but even that joy is not guaranteed.

Personally, I know many women who have chosen to have an abortion, and the emotional outcomes of such decisions have been mixed. Some have seamlessly moved on with their lives, some carry a bit of an emotional burden, others are devastated. As ever, it comes down to how you choose to deal with your own actions. Good luck!