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between a rock and a hard place

Hey guys I'm 18 and tomorrow I will be 9 weeks lately I've so stressed out because I'm not financially stable , currently live with my parents and just begun college .. my parents are no help to me all they tell me is how hard its going to be to take care of a child and nag. That's all they do.my boyfriend is supportive and will do whatever it takes to take care of his child and Im really on the edge of getting an abortion. What should I do?? Please help
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there and welcome.  No one here can tell you what to do.  Abortion is a viable option but some will tell a women to NEVER get one and you have to weed posts like that out because they are not going to take into account your particular circumstances.  

You need to think about what is best for you.  It is indeed true that babies are a lot of work, sacrifice and money.  I'm a mom and nothing changed my life more than my kids.  Some ways good, some ways not so much if you are at a stage in your life in which you aren't ready for it.  I planned my kids and was married for many years and financially and emotionally prepared.  Still found it one of the hardest things I've ever done.

your time will be greatly impacted.  If you are trying to get your life going and headed in a positive direction for being a financially stable adult, a child will work against you.  That is just the truth.  You will be torn between working long hours or baby care.  Your expenses will grow.  This makes it harder to move forward in those early years.  

That is something to consider.  many who have kids when not financially ready do live a life of poverty and that is what they offer for their child.  And sadly, they find it hard to work their way out of it and the cycle then repeats with their child following in their footsteps.  I don't wish that on anyone because it is so hard.  

This does NOT mean you can't do it though.  If you want to work super hard and are very driven---  you can push your way through the hard years.  And having a boyfriend to help with finances and child care would certainly help.

You should sit and think about what you want.  You basically have three options.  You can terminate.  This option allows you to move on with your life and get things going for yourself.  You don't have to go through a pregnancy or have distractions from school and can then go on to have a family when it is a better time.  This option works for a lot of women and I'm glad we live in a country where we have freedom of choice to choose this if it best suites us.

We also have the choice of adoption.  This is a wonderful choice if we know we don't want to raise a baby at this time (and there are definitely situations in which it is not in our best interest OR a babies best interest), you can give the gift of a child to a couple that can't have one otherwise.  A win win.  Really can be a beautiful thing to do.  The couple has a baby to love, the baby has a family  that is ready to care for him/her and you can go on with your life.  You do have to go through pregnancy though.  anyway, you can have an open adoption these days so you can stay in contact with the family as well.  

The last option is to try to make it work and keep the baby.  Many women go this route and do the very best they can.  You can't ask more than that--  for a woman to try her hardest!  Proud of all moms who make it work.  Think about what it would look like in your situation if you have a child to know if you can handle it.  And if so and it is what you want, begin making plans for it.  

So, sit with this and think about what you feel is best for you.  No one here will be there to help you.  this has to be fully your own decision.  I'm here if you need to talk either on the forum or you can private message me.  good luck sweetie
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Avatar universal
When I had my first daughter thats when my life truly began. Its amazing how becoming a mother makes you feel like you're finally the person you were meant to be.
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Avatar universal
I got married when I was 19. People told me over and over again my life was ending. It was the total opposite! My husband and I grew together, matured together and learned from one another. Everyone is different and is entitled to their own opinion. But only you know what's best for you! Don't let the judgement of others affect your major life decisions. ;)
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your comments :) . I'm trying to stay strong but when you have people judging you for getting pregnant basically telling you your life is going to end. Its hard to stay positive
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Avatar universal
I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow, we've got the same due date! I don't know about you but I'm already so attached to this little life inside of me. God has blessed my husband and I with a child now, and I don't have everything in my life situated out perfectly right now either. The baby you're carrying can't control what's going on in your life. There are so many twists and turns in our lives. This is something new and different for you to fight for. Having an abortion in my eyes is a cowardly way to handle your situation. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I want to be honest with you. You have a living being inside of you. Be strong for that life. When you're holding that baby in your arms later this year it won't matter how hard life is at that moment. You won't have any regrets when you here that baby cry. Good luck and I'm praying for you and all the moms out there that consider aborting. Don't kill an innocent life because you feel you can't raise it. There are resources and people around to help. You can do it! Be strong!
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Avatar universal
They're are other options. If you feel as though you wouldn't be able to raise the child properly you should look into adoption. They're are plenty of familys out there who are dying to have children. You  should probably talk to your parents & let them know how you feel.
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