considering abortion.

[UTnewmom24]

I have always been against abortion until now.  I have known my boyfriend for seven months only been exclusively dating fir two months.  I am now seven weeks pregnant.  We both agreed we didnt want kid's now.  He figured that ment I'd get an abortion if something happened I just assumed I couldn't or wouldn't.  Which was very premature on my part.  He is separated with another child he doesn't get to see.  He said if I keep it we have no chance.  Now i don't care about that but do I keep it anyways and stay tied to him the rest of my life?

[specialmom]

That is one of the nice things regarding abortion.  That tie becomes a distant memory.  

[layla_gumdrop]

While keeping the child would tie you to the father, in a way any decision that you chose to make will. You will akways have the knowledge that you created a child with him. I woukd suggest researching all of your options and not making a rash decison. I wish you the best in whatever you chose to do

[Stacey_80]

I agree with Desi. Even if you decide to keep your pregnancy, it would not necessarily mean that you'd be spending the rest of your life with the father of your baby. It is all up to you. Weigh your options well. If you do not have the capacity to raise and keep your child then you can always opt for adoption.

[specialmom]

Hi there. First let me say that all posts here will be supportive to a woman's choice for whatever is best of her including abortion if that is her wish as this is the choice forum.  It's a safe place for a woman contemplating what she should do including abortion.

So, no one can really tell you what you should do.  It's such a personal decision.  The best thing to do is to think about what the choices are and how they apply to you.

the first is the one you mention.  Abortion.  That is a good option for any woman that doesn't care to have a baby at the moment for whatever reason.  That Is very personal and the bottom line is that the majority of responsibility falls on a mother so if someone is not in a position for that or does not wish to be a mother at this time, termination is a good option.  The procedure is relatively simple and it is desired that woman can make this choice if they so wish, most clinics keep cost minimal and depending on your income, it can even be free.  Check clinics in your area for specifics on that.  Then when you are ready to start a family, you can go on to do so at a better time.  Many women have abortions and would tell you that this was a good decision for them.

Then there is adoption.  This is a great option that can be win win for all.  A couple unable to have a child of their own is able to have the baby of their dreams via you! What a gift!!  In today's world, you could even continue to have contact with the adoptive parents and even the child if you so wish through open adoption.  Or you could have a tradition closed adoption and just move on.  You do have to carry the baby to term though and give birth for this option.

The third option is to be a single mom.  Sounds like the man you were with is less than desirable in terms of being a mate or parent.  However, yes.  You'd most likely need to stay in contact with him in order to be fair to your child who will want to know their father.  Also, child support should be sought as it is only right and fair that he pays his fair share.  The biggest thing about having a baby is to have a plan.  Many a woman does it on her own but you need to have a plan on how you are going to do that.  Things like where you and the baby will live, who will care for the baby while you are at school or work, if you are willing to basically give up your social life and free time as a baby pretty much takes up that space.  it's a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, but it is hard and a good parent does a great deal of sacrificing.  You can do it if you choose to but you'll just need a practical plan in place.

so, think about what will be best for you and you alone.  Your body, your decision.  Make one that feels right to you. peace

[valeriemoya]

Theres always adoption

[knufrio]

You are going to get a lot of negative comments on here, just as a warning... Don't listen to them and don't let them get to you. This decision needs to be entirely yours based on what you feel is best for you. I personally am very pro choice. I had an abortion myself several years ago because I was not in a place where I was able to take care of a child or even a pregnant self. Everyone's situation is different. No you can't undo an abortion once its done, but not everyone regrets their choice. I don't regret it one bit because I made the right choice for myself. Relax, step back, and take a little time to think about all options and outcomes. Best of luck to you sweetie with whatever you decide.  

[ftm502]

^agreed. You will have to be tied to that abortion for the rest of your life. Not trying to influence you either way just want you to understand its a huge decision either way. Best wishes.

[ericatoday]

It all depends on you. I didn't believe in abortion but had one 4 years ago I had just got divorced and had an 18 month old I only new the baby daddy for a month. I had one because it was my choice I wasn't ready. But just so happens I've been with that same guy now for almost 4 years. And now I'm 19 weeks and couldn't be happier. Its all up to you.

[desi0318]

Even if you decide to keep your baby doesnt necessarily mean you'll be tied to him for the resr of your life. Just remember that an abortion can't be undone. Its a decision made that lasts a lifetime. I would think about it more. See if it is really worth taking a life over him..