help? i dont know what to do

[jackied1171]

I'm in my 5th week with baby number 2 but I don't know if I should have the baby because it will have a different dad than my first and I'm not in the place to have another. What do I do?

[specialmom]

There is much debate about when it actually becomes 'a child'.  A woman needs to do what is best for her and it is not always in her best interest to have a child at a particular time.  

Women should have no guilt and decide what is in their own best interest.  luck to the poster

[Liyahsmommy1]

I think you should keep the baby. It is not the child's fault. So you shouldn't take it out on the child. If you don't want to take care of the baby than adoption is the best bet. Abortion is killing an innocent baby. If you can hear a heart beat the child is living and should be given a chance at life. And if your not going to consider other people's opinions on here then why did you bother asking. And also if your only 20 years old and you know you can't afford to take care of another child than you should be on some type of birth control. And it's not that you can't take care of 2 kids, it is just you don't have the motivation to do it. You are able to do ANYTHING you put your mind to. Even though your in school still there are programs out there that WILL help you with your children. Go find a job. Continue going to school. And be an adult since you chose to do adult things. I'm not trying to be rude or anything to you. But if you decide to lay down and make babies than you should be the responsible one and take care of that child. Wether or not your stable enough to. Because you have 8 months to prepare. I'm 20 as well and 9 months pregnant with my first. And when I found out I was not ready either. However since I found out, I'm still in college full time, I work full time, just got an apartment you just need to be motivated to do things you need to do. Good luck with everything and I hope the decision you choose to make is the best decision.

[tifflaw]

I have a son from a previous relationship, and I am engaged to someone else now. I became pregnant while on the pill. I took it everytime, everyday. Just didn't work for me. I'm not ready for another child yet either but I'm gunna have her and everything will work itself out :) good luck in your decision.

[specialmom]

Ladies, this is not 'just a pregnancy app' but a full web site.  I'm sure this post will be moved but regardless whether you agree with someone's question or not, it is a support site.  

I would allow the moderators to move this to the proper forum where the poster can talk openly and without judgment about her options.  

[brkness]

You would of course make sure you choose an adoption place, where u can choose the parents and what kind of adoption u want..

[brkness]

Um wow! OK nobody can tell you what to do. But my grandma always told me when in doubt DON'T. Your obviously having some doubt since ur going back and forth. I'm basically in the same boat as you second child, no job at the moment, no money, no family. I was in a serious relationship and everything went to crap so now I'm alone. Abortion didn't cross my mind I wouldn't be able to handle it, adoption ran through my mind and right out of it fast. Theres no way could live without this baby.  In the end its something nobody and nobody's advice is going to be able yo help u decide. On another note adoption would not be putting your baby in the system. She would be given to two parents whom u choose and stay with that family forever.

[kays01]

I've had an abortion. And I would never do it again. It f****d with me mentally AND physically. They left some of the baby in me and i bled for 6 months. Its upto you but if you have any questions feel free to inbox me x

[mopowell]

Dnt feel bad I am in the same situation but he has two choose do for his child or child support will take from him n he know I dnt like the gov system

[specialmom]

I just think it helps to have some compassion for someone going through a difficult time.  Even if someone makes a choice that is different than you would, they still deserve respect and empathy.  

anyway, I wish the best to the poster and sorry you are in this difficult position.  You appear quite articulate and smart and I am guessing you have a bright future ahead.  Stay in school and achieve your dreams.  peace

[Emalee132]

Alright! Well you learn something new everyday!!!! Hormones really get to a pregnant woman sorry

[rambler24]

Jackied don't let these women get you down. You are obviously very responsible for weighing all of your options out. I fully agree with specialmom. I wish you the best of luck in whatever choice you deem best!

[Mellissa22]

Everyone will have their opinions , unfortunately you won't like some. You need to do what's best for you right now. Focus on your daughter, if you decide to abort its your choice & no one else's here.
Life is a struggle, it tests you. In the future when you're more stable financially you can expand your family. You're only young & I understand its hard. A lot of us struggle. I think the majority of people here have what THEY would do in your situation, bit they're not you. You & you alone make the final decision.
Best of luck.

[Teenmomandproud]

If you wanted help from women in the same situation as you then you should of put that in your post

[jackied1171]

Actually emalee132 you said they're 100% if they don't break. That's never true. They are never 100% even if they don't break.

[specialmom]

A link to the CDC on rates of failure for various birth control methods including condoms.  Again, they track the number to be that condoms fail 18 percent of the time.  

http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/UnintendedPregnancy/Contraception.htm

[Emalee132]

I said if they don't break!!! I never said that they ALWAYS work.

[specialmom]

according to the CDC, the failure rate of condoms as tracked in the United States is 18 percent.  

[jackied1171]

It takes a tiny pin hole that can't even be seen to become pregnant at any point in time. Condoms aren't 100% ever!

[Emalee132]

I do know condoms.... (If they don't break) are affective. But condoms do have the chance to break.... Which would make them ineffective. And I'm sorry for my miswording. That's how I got pregnant too.

[gueritacali]

Actually condoms are 98% effective not 100% unfortunately :/

[Emalee132]

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm a single mom. Going to college, providing for myself. You're 100% right and I'm wrong.

[specialmom]

To me you sound very responsible jackied.  This really is about you, your child you care for now and your life as you want it to be.  The desire to get yourself on your feet financially and otherwise prior to anymore children sounds like you have thought this through and are very wise for considering all options to have the kind of life you want down the road.  peace

[specialmom]

ALL contraceptives have a failure rate.  No one should judge another woman who is struggling.  

[Mellissa22]

You need to research everything before jumping the gun and getting an abortion! If you want the baby to avoid the foster care situation than look into adoption services now, before you decide. They'll go through everything thoroughly with you & explain it. You need to research everything first before you ask people here for advice, everyone has their own opinion on the subject . You're also posting to hormonal women who are pregnant or trying to be & would desperately like to be.
What you need to do is ask advice from a professional in the field. You might regret having an abortion, many women do. But knowing you gave the baby to a caring family who are vetted beforehand are capable of letting you in if you wish with pictures etc. Just talk to someone who's an expert , they'll be the best advisor.