never thought id be in this situation... dont judge

[confusedmomie]

Ok so im very familiar with this site because less then a year ago i would allways come here for advice on my first pregnancy ok i had my baby boy in December he is just everything to me and im not going to lie hes a HANDFUL going on 9 months no greater joy ... About his father my fiance we been together for 2 years everybody thinks he treats me like a queen witch he does ok so about my pregnancy last year i was very stressed out when i was pregnant gained 70 pounds i have really bad migraines that prevented me from enjoying my pregnancy along with the weight gain i was emotionally stressed and i even lied to my doc to get induced on my due date because thats how overwhelmed i was but he was a beautiful 9 pound 6 ounce boy yess big boy and he still is buttttt its been so hard his daddy went to jail when he was 2 weeks till he was 4 months hes been here helping me out every since hes been great but im pregnant agin in less then a year let me tell you why this is a problem for us it wasnt planned i was on bc trying to prevent pregnancy a baby is the last thing we need its been a struggle with my son some times we cant even afford certain necessities as in diapers im currently looking for a job my husband just had surgery so he cant work this baby is totally wrong timing im really pushing a abortion but my man is totally against it hes says hes with me on it and hes going to take me but every time we are supposed to go he makes a reason not to and he keeps shooting subliminal messages twords the baby like he wants me to keep it on the other hand my family dont even know but there so against me being young having kids back to back when i dont even have the means to take care of them but he sees it as god has a plann witch i am a firm believer in him but i feel we are not in the situation to bring another child in to the world i am so lost and confused

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I'm so very sorry that you are in this stressful position.  Babies are a wonderful thing and I'm so glad you are enjoying your son born in December.

But having him has given you that extra insight about whether you could have another one right now or not.  

You really have to do what is best for you.  We are so fortunate to have choices.  And you do have options.  You can have the baby and raise him or her.  This can be challenging when the timing is bad but plenty do it.  But I totally respect when a woman knows their limits.  

so, then you might choose one of the other two options.  Adoption is a really beautiful choice in which it is win win all the way around.  Another family gets to love a child and you can go on with life.  Yes, they have open adoptions where you can know the child or closed adoptions where it is a clean break.  

Or, there is termination.  This is an option women choose who don't wish to go through a pregnancy at all.  And if it is the best solution for you, then so be it.  You really have to do what is best for you in this situation.

So, maybe write down the options and make a list of your thoughts for each one and see where you end up.  Here to talk if you need help.  peace and hugs

[Oct23babylove]

There is always open adoption, where you will be able to see him/her while they grow up. To me, worrying about it is already giving you an emotional feeling towards him/her. Talk to your significant other more, get his opinion more on it, i think if he wanted to have an abortion then he would have went immidiately and got it done with you considering further along in the pregnancy the more the "fetus" suffers and hurts.

[confusedmomie]

Seee i know this sounds so crazy but i would do a abortion way befor a adoption heres why right now im only a month are so not far along if i had my child full grown and whent thru the whole pregnancy and grow to love my child i could never see my child a full grown baby and give him or her away i couldnt do that i know it doesnt sound good but im lost and i much reather have a termination while i dont have any emotional attachment because besides morning sickness this pregnancy hasn't even registered yet like i literally just found out man this is the hardest time of my life i just dont want to make the wrong choice

[Oct23babylove]

Dont worry, God does have a plan for you. If i were you, i would go on to have the baby. I know and understand adoption is a big step and there are plenty of children to adopt already, but if God didnt want this child to be born he wouldnt have put you through something he knew you wouldnt be able to handle. Pray about it(if you do that sort of thing) and if not, make a list of the pros and cons on each decision possible.