Women's Choice Community
not sure what to do...
About This Community:

This forum is for questions and support regarding Women's Choices including abortion, adoption, parenting, problems with a pregnancy, woman's health or life, and fetal anomaly.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

not sure what to do...

Hey, I'm 18 nearly 19 & found out a couple days ago that I'm pregnant. I'm only about 6 weeks along at the moment. I'm at uni and I don't really have any money,  the dad is my boyfriend of 3 years and he does have a job but still lives at home.  I just don't feel either of us are  emotionally, mentally or physically  ready to be parents but I feel awful at the thought of termination. Its really hard to know what to do... Could people give me some opinions please?
15 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
hey ive recently turned 20 abd about 3 weeks ago I found out I was pregnant im 8 weeks now but at tge beginning I didnt know what to do either me or my boyfriend wasn't rdy for a baby. but we're excited now I think it was just the shock. but my advice  would be to sit down and have a think/ talk to ur bf consider all ur options just dnt rush into          anything yo quickly. x
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my son (he's 13yrs old now) I had broken up with my boyfriend of one year and didn't even have a job. I really wanted the baby but needless to say I was less than prepared. I had to live at home and count on my mom to help me with everything and even though she wasn't thrilled about me being pregnant my son became her entire world. I am now married to my sons father and we're expecting baby#2 in July. Just consider all your options and know that if you really want this baby and things may be rough it can be done! Good luck :)
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Basically your three options are keeping the baby, adoption or abortion. My best advice for you would be that there are always what ifs with every option so don't waste your time with them. This is your baby and your body so don't let anyone pressure you into anything. I was in the exact same boat as you and I decided to keep and now I'm 22+3 and very happy. I haven't dropped uni or work so don't listen to anyone who says you can't do it. Remember look at all the government help you can get and make sure you are sure when you do make a choice. Good luck x
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Have a serious talk with him and with your family. Your parents might be mad at first which is understandable but usually they get over it and would do anything for their grandbaby. Yes it will be hard and stressful but that little baby will make it all worth it. Just give it some thought, you don't wanna regret your decision.

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
It's ultimately your decision in the end of course and it's up to you to decide what's best, but it's important you don't regret your choice. No matter what you do in the end, don't let anyone make you feel like you should have done something else. You both need to sit down and really discuss how each of you feel and go from there. In the end you'll know what's best. Good luck, sweetie!! I wish you the very best.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
To be honest nobody is ever fully prepared for a baby I don't care if you 17 or 30 .....if you can supply lots of love then you could find a way to make it work .....that's if that is what you decide of course
Blank
4295582_tn?1358800015
Abortion. I know it sounds harsh but it's a harsh subject. i was 18, almost 19 when i got pregnant and it was a abusive relationship and i definitely was not financially prepared. it was the best option for me and my life. Now I'm happily engaged, almost 21, and 26 weeks pregnant and i couldn't be happier. I truly found the love of my life. And we're gonna be able to do this. getting the abortion was the best decision i ever made. It's sad, yes. I felt bad for a long time. But honey, right now it's not a baby, it's barely an anything. It's smaller than a pea. I promise later in life you won't regret it when you're ready and with the love of your life.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Have you thought about adoption? If you don't want to terminate the pregnancy but aren't ready to be a mother, you could give someone else the chance to be that can't have children. Yes, it would be really really hard, and you would have to be a really strong person to be able to go through with it, but it could be a solution to your dilemma. You really should talk to your boyfriend first, and come to a conclusion with him about what you feel is best--don't force yourself to make a decision you would regret later.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Abortion is never the answer. I had one once around your age because my bf wanted me too but I didn't. I did it anyways and he ended up leaving me. Then I had to deal with what I had done by myself and it took me years to get over. Make sure the decision is what you really want, not what somebody else wants. A way will always be provided for you to be taken care of if you have a little bit of faith. You will be okay and that's the important part. I know how scared you are, I've been there before. Everything works out the way its supposed to. Like I said make this decision for you because its a lifelong choice.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Me and my fiance got pregnant when I was 17 and I had my son at 18. We were so unprepared. We both lived with my parents and had no job. He tried so hard and all he got was interviews and no call backs. My parents where upset at first but they got over it. We did everything ourselves regardless of the no jobs. We donated plasma twice a week which was 500 bucks a month since we both did it. Plus where I am they have parenting classes that you can attend and after the class you get free baby stuff. Diapers, clothes, furniture etc. That's how we did it the first year and my parents where proud of us, so were we. We didn't need anyones help. I finally got a job a lil over a year ago and he finally got one 6 months ago and we've been employed since. We now have our own house and our son is 2 :) things went from so hard to were finally where were suppose to be. We are 20 weeks and 5 days also. So this pregnancy its nice not to have to stress because everythings in place. Just have hope and most of all patience. It doesn't all work out as fast as we want it too.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hey i am 25 now n when i had,my first baby i was 17 n still n high school i will sit down in thnk bout everything first it mite be hard now but babys are a blessing from god if u pray up to him u n ur boyfriend n ur baby will be ok n now my baby is 6 years old n me n her dad is not together but us mothers have to be strong for or children just pray bout it god has a answer for everything
Blank
4928337_tn?1362754766
"right now its not a baby or hardly an anything."
That's an opinion on what's hardly anything.


Week 5
Your baby forms a heart and by the end of the 5th week it begins beating. It skeleton is also forming.
Week 6
Your baby has a brain and though only pea sized its heart is beating and
circulating blood.


I was 16 when I got pregnant 17 when I gave birth. Was thrown out of my home and ignored by my family for the first 6 months.
My bf at the time (now my husband) and I did not Finnish school but imediatly got our highschool diplomas so we could graduate with our class.
But it is possible in some circumstances to finish school!
We moved on our own I did not work my husband supported us working at a chickfila. And we received food stamps.
I would not trade my son for anything in this world he is now 5.
And yes I did think of abortion as an option. But before you get one they make you get an ultrasound to see it! And I couldn't kill a heartbeat.
Its hard and will take time to figure it all out.
But please think hard about all your options.

I am now 22 expecting my third child am not on any type of government assistance have a nice home and car. It takes time but you will get their.
That was the life I chose. And it may not be right for you I understand that.
But it is possible :)


Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I'm 19 with my first baby. At first I was scared but now I'm in love with my baby. My baby is my blessing. Babies are blessings. Just think on it honey you'll do what you feel is best for yourself
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Wow Thanks for all the opinions its helpful to hear from others. I know how my parents will feel as my cousin and his gf are my age and expecting in the next couple of weeks & my parents keep saying what a waste etc. Im so scared to tell them. I also don't know whether to tell my boss at work as I work in a night club.. im getting a fair bit of morning sickness so I kind of want to tell them as it won't look so weird if im sick but I don't want to be sacked (I know its illegal but there's loopholes). I have a doctor's appointment Monday I will talk through my options then tell my parents and perhaps talk to uni and see what help id get etc and then il have to decide.. oh and dw me and the dad have had long chats hes supportive no matter what and will be there for me in whichever choice I make. :)
Blank
4928337_tn?1362754766
That sounds great hun.
I'm glad you have support no matter your choice.
Telling your parents is hard no matter your age I think ;)
But do not worry of any person but yourself. I know its hard. But important in this choice. Go off what you want. You will be living with it no matter the choice you make.
I wish you the very best of luck girl!
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Women's Choice Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
7 hrs ago by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Women's Health Answerers
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom