Aa
sad
Want my baby girl but thinking that I may not be able to take care of her. Im getting very depressed now the father of the baby cut me off he won't help me he told me to get an abortion my mother is not happy for me she barely talks about me being pregnant. I might have to do adoption something I didn't want to do but I might have to Iwork ed with an adoption agency and felt that I didn't want to go through with it so i don't work with them but I may have to call them back and do a closed adoption cause if I see the baby living with someone else im gonna want to keep her and I may be come highly depressed and I don't want to be so depressed about giving up my only daughter. What should I do any suggestions? ???
And to be specific about what a baby needs...do not get caught up in the hype of needing a nursery with a crib and all the cute clothes. My son and I shared a queen bed for the first 10 months just us! I recieved a crib as gift but had never took it out of the box and then exchanged it for necessary supplies later. Those kind of things will be diapers and creams; food doesn't come until 6 months. BREASTFEED! Its the best for you and baby; nutritionally and emotionally. With the help of the hospital staff initially and then groups like Le Leche League International it is less hassle and no cost compared to pumping and formula. Other necessary supplies to budget for: baby seat and swadlers. That's really it! Then if course when she wiggles out of the swadler you get clothes. Consignment, target, walmart, 2nd hand from mommy support groups, etc. Take care of yourself with healthy food and light exercise (WIC and walks). Depeding where you live there might be a gov or state program than pays you while care for your baby after birth for a lil bit--research & sign up for that. You can do this if you want to! Being a mom is the most rewarding thing in life, and your childs sweet LOVE is instictively reciprocated. It will keep you going. Dig deep. Be strong. :-)
I would examine your reasons first. You will not regret any of the decisions. I speak from experience. Don't get me wrong, those decisions are the hardest to make and live with. But I would ask people who have personally made the decision of each choice and gone through with it. There you will find more honest answers. As well as looking within yourself. I went through the same thing where no one else wanted the child but me. Just really think about it. It is very emotional. To the point where I almost didn't survive. But everything happens for a reason. Look within.
Consider why you want to use adoption, if it's financial, there is support out there for you and the baby. The father will have to pay child support but even without it you can get help. Don't let your mother or others pressure you into adoption or abortion. Your mother may come around but if not you will find others out there who are in similar situations and can be your support. You can still be a terrific mother without your mother or boyfriend and your baby can still have a loving home and good life. Children don't need much, just love and a roof over their heads. You can give them all of that, it might not be easy but have faith in yourself! Adoption is still a good option but your heart might regret it later when you miss your child.
There are a lot of wise women that have spoken so far! Lots of great suggestions & support there for all decisions. I agree that if you want your child go with that instinct. I had an abortion in my early 20s and looking back I see that I was supposed to have the child but I used my freewill to alter Gods plan or destiny or what not. My nephew would have had a cousin close in age and so many other domino effect things happened. I regret the decision bcz it was based on thoughts that the boyfriend at the time would speak up if he wanted us to be a family and I only wanted to bring a child into the world if we would be a family and I could provide more...10 years later I got pregnant during being engaged but didn't last, now see that I couldn't escape destiny! That guy turned out to be a royal idiot & A-hole to me and the first guy would have been the better option! My son is 3 now and his dad has made it hell only bcz I tried to involve him, get that family together after breaking up 6 months preg, and then went to dept child support services. We've been in court 15-20 times! Screw that! Have your bundle of LOVE and use all the assistances out there to make a life for yourself and darling girl! Go with instincts! I ignored so many instincts and see that they should have been followed. But the silver lining is that good people are out there! You can be a family as you and your daughter! Maybe you will even have a good man step up but do not settle! Best to you Mama!
There is nothing wrong with adoption. Its a tough decision but consider the baby. I should know... Im an adoptee. My birth mom was in a similar situation and she decided to give me up. My adoptive parents are amazing. They raised me to love and respect my birth mother very deeply. And now, 35 years later Im expecting my own child and my husband and I are also seeking to adopt 2 children close to the age of our son (so within the next three years). My husband didn't understand why I wanted to adopt so badly until he talked to my parents. They told him that putting a child adoption is the hardest decision a mother can make but adopting a child isnt an act of charity, it make a family whole.
Hey you its alright no one can make this choice but you but I'd hate for you to regret something you mightve been able to over come I understand the fear of thee unknown but 1 child isn't the end of the world if your willing to love and be responsible God will make a way good luck God bless you can do it IG you really want her,thell be rough day not that's life her looking in your eyes will strengthen you :))
With my 2nd daughter I was going to give her up for adoption UNTIL my 5th month of pregnancy. Yes, I had gone to the agency and had a family picked out. BUT God came to me in a dream and told me everything would be okay. And He'd provide for us. I called the agency, told them I was keeping the baby. It wasn't always easy, but we did fine. At the time I was a single mom of two. Her dad wasn't in her life until she was 13.5 yrs old. Glad he came around .for her sake. We went through a 5 year period where we didn't know where he was. One day my oldest finally found him.
You can do it on your own. Get educated as far as being a parent (read books from the library). WIC, food banks or food pantries, churches sometimes have programs, low cost shelter/housing. If you can get to a public library you can do Internet searches for assistance.
Good luck!!
You can do it on your own. Get educated as far as being a parent (read books from the library). WIC, food banks or food pantries, churches sometimes have programs, low cost shelter/housing. If you can get to a public library you can do Internet searches for assistance.
Good luck!!
Look into Your local WIC office. There's a sight called Home Share that helps pair people up who can't always afford to keep their home and people who can't pay rent in an appt. They do extensive screening to match you with the right roommate. It's free and the lady we work with has helped going above and beyond networking with others to help us find work even.
Affordable Housing is also something to consider. They sometimes have programs for first time homeowners. There's so much out there.
Married but me and my husband have really struggled. I was kind of heartbroken at all I couldn't give my daughter but what others say is true. All she needed was my love. I nursed her and didn't have food to put out for her or formula till she was 10 months and even then she ate so little.
Sometimes churches have things to. A local church here does a "neighbor's pantry" and gives food away for free on a set schedule.
Find a good church home, they'll help you and probably have Mommie groups.
You want your daughter, don't give her up.
Affordable Housing is also something to consider. They sometimes have programs for first time homeowners. There's so much out there.
Married but me and my husband have really struggled. I was kind of heartbroken at all I couldn't give my daughter but what others say is true. All she needed was my love. I nursed her and didn't have food to put out for her or formula till she was 10 months and even then she ate so little.
Sometimes churches have things to. A local church here does a "neighbor's pantry" and gives food away for free on a set schedule.
Find a good church home, they'll help you and probably have Mommie groups.
You want your daughter, don't give her up.
Focus on making small improvements to your life and your emotions. Go to the library and read parenting books. Make sure you ar ed supported. Hand in Hand has some amazing free resources on theirvwebsite Live a simple life. Get a studio apartment for the first year or two. You can do it. Children don't actually need many things. They just need love, someone who will truly listen and emotional stability. You will be amazed at what parenthood can inspire you to accomplish. Go for long walks to think and exercise. I am a mom through adoption and would gladly die for my daughter, but I know that all adoptive parents don't feel as I do. Don't assume that because another family has more money, they have more love.
Go for food stamps & cash assistance. They will start paying U in last 120 of pregnancy. Once Ur baby is born they will give U 1 time big cash in the amount of $300 so U can buy her crib & stuff. Honey I know U wanna keep the baby its just Ur family might think or make u think that It's hard. If U give her up & when she will grow up she will ask U mommy why did U gave me up? So Ur response will be oh baby I wanted to keep u but my family wanted me to give U away & u think she will think that its justified? No its not. U can consider adoption onl ifU didn't wanted her but U DO
If you don't believe, here's my story. I was sixteen when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I had no job,no money, no goal really and dropped out of school. My family thought this pregnancy was a problem but, most of all my problem! The father was with me for a little while then turned me and my unborn child away. His family was no better refusing any contact with me. So I cried and prayed on the streets for several more months. Finally I got a job and by the time she was born I had my own apartment. Things were not peaches and cream from there on but, they did continuously get better little by little. We had our days when there were no seconds and all we had was rice for breakfast lunch and dinner but, we had EACH OTHERS LOVE and God's grace. My daughter is now 21 years old and hugs me and thanks me daily for not giving up on her. Don't forget there are resources out there to help you and make sure to keep all the father's info too because the attorney general will make him help you even if he doesn't want to and this is at no cost to you. YOU CAN DO IT,you just have to believe. Please Read Psalm 23
There are people out there who would love to have a child who cant. Consider adoption. ..and consider an open one where she will know you. You can be a part of her life and she can have a great life. You may not always be there but she would know you and you would not have to live off of someone else's dime.
Listen !!! Take my foolish advice and keep ur baby ok .. My baby father was mad at first killing me to get on abortion and when I refuse to do he ask me to leave his place and he will never take care of us because he wasn't ready to for a next child and I didn't ask any question cause I know my god would never give me more than I can bear and i did left .. ; I didn't had a job, no saving , no home for my self . I went back home to my father and switch my phone off few days later he called and I answer he was there crying and begging me to come back home and forgive him and he didn't meant anything he just don't understand y I av so much pills and refuse to take them. But I was getting too much weight so I was off it and he knew all along anyways I cryed for I few days then decided to go back just because I want my baby to grow with both of us and its my first .. He come right back around and we are living happy now he even more excited about the baby more than I do. I will pray for u thou and hope things work out for u..
Ya plz don't give away Ur own flesh & blood just Bcoz U won't be able to give her luxurious life. Ur baby will be the happiest baby on earth if she will have U. Babies don't need luxury that just need Ur love & simple milk & bread. Don't let anyone force U or U will regret all Ur life. I'll pray that U & Ur daughter will always stay together with love & lots of blessings. Honey U won't be able to sleep peacefully if U will give her up. Please trust me on that one.
My mother was a single mom, after my father left us. We were all the closer because of it.
You can make it without him. Clearly you don't want to give your baby girl up. There's help out there, you just have to find it.
Don't base your situation on how your circumstances look right now. Your mom may be feeling anxious or upset for you and just not sure how to handle it.
Your daughter is a blessing, you love her so much. I believe in miracles. You will make it. Don't give up, Sweetie. It WILL GET BETTER.
I would also consult a lawyer regarding child support.
Don't base your situation on how your circumstances look right now. Your mom may be feeling anxious or upset for you and just not sure how to handle it.
Your daughter is a blessing, you love her so much. I believe in miracles. You will make it. Don't give up, Sweetie. It WILL GET BETTER.
I would also consult a lawyer regarding child support.
If I be you I just work and try to give her the best you can have a lot of help food stamps help and I will keep her because later you going to be unhappy for the rest of you life
Wow this is a hard one to say.... when i got pg with my first the sperm doner (i call him that cause he labelled himself) i felt alone and scared cause i had no one...no job not even a suitable living environment. As the baby grew inside me... something just changed and I found myself always talking to her and telling her its was gonna be ok and we were gonna do just fine. I think i was really telling myself that. But i grew stronger and knew that she was mine and was sent to me at that moment in time to help me change my life around. I am so glad and couldn't imagine my life without her. I would really consider ur options so u dont have any regrets cause living with that will be worse. Good luck in the choices u make. :-)
I know it's easier said than done but you need to do what's best for your daughter. If you KNOW you can't take care of her then maybe adoption is the best option. Just make sure you think about it with a clear head and make the decision for the best interest of your daughter and not just what you want or how you feel.
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