scared and worried

[MrzMomof5]

Hello Ladies,
I'm in serious need of advice, I have four children and my last one is 8 months old and I just found out I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant. I'm having mixed emotions bout keeping it or not because I can't afford having another baby, my husband and I are currently living apart, I just started school and my husband is not working, plus Im living in my parents house with my 4 children, what should I do? I have so much going on and I honestly don't believe in abortions but I just can't bring another child into this world ... Please help

[specialmom]

Well, the choice is yours hon.  Lots of women do choose to abort and you have a pretty good reason to choose that if you so desire.  So, just think about what you really want.  good luck

[MrzMomof5]

Yes I have spoken to him about it and he feels like we should have it, but I'm just concerned that with the circumstances being what they are I'm afraid and just plain out scared!

[specialmom]

By the way, many women choose to abort because it is the best of them and they do not suffer emotionally from it but instead, have the peace they needed by ending the pregnancy.  So, please know that if you are making a decision that seems to be the right fit for you, I doubt you'll ever have regrets.  You have four children and one who is still a baby---  you know the challenges with raising kiddos.  So, you are in a good position to judge what would be best for you hon.  good luck

[specialmom]

We live in a country where women have a right to get an abortion when having a child is something they do not with to do.  You sound like you may be in that situation now and would like to choose termination.  That is certainly a viable option and then you would not have to carry a baby to term, give birth, etc.  It would be hard to explain to your kids about adoption so can understand where abortion is the easier and perhaps better option for you.  Have you talked to your partner about it?  

[nickizzy]

Hoping everything works out for you :) been thinking about you and how hard this must be. But you seem like a strong woman and you will do what's right for you. Good luck :)

[MrzMomof5]

I appreciate everyone's feedback, and your right everyone's situations are different , I still have a lot to think about and work out but themost part I'm definitely leaning more to keeping it

[capricornkerrie]

I had to stay at my parents when I left my now ex husband x one messy time and don't think I would have been able to make the right choice in this situation.  I had four children with me at the time x well after a year I met my current partner got pregnant even tho using condoms !! And did wonder how I would cope but I would never have faced getting rid !! As believe one can allway's find room for another mouthfull and I have so much love to give another x follow what your heart is telling you to do only you can decide what's right for you x please consider adoption if being rid is a need hun that way at least you would not have the guilt of an abortion like many do for the rest of there life's x good luck in the future and hope things start looking up for you soon x

[ABCDjE]

I have 4 kids pregnant with number 5 I was in a similar situation I'm now 26 weeks and things are great everything is back on track so you just gotta keep your head up and ignore the ignorance some ppl are not happy in life so they try n get a reaction out of other ppl don't listen to her she obviously has nothing better to do than judge ppl!

[sabrinaallen]

I've had friend all over the spectrum on this. I've had one who had an abortion .One with a closed adoption and one with an open adoption. I can day the one who had a abortion regrets it ever day just as strongly as she did the day after and it has been 5 years for her. My friend with the closed adoption is doing fine but what drivers her crazy is not knowing anything, just knowing that she does have a kid somewhere out there hoping that she being truly taken care of the way she wish she could have. My friend with an open adaption said it was the bed choice of her life. She got pregnant while back packing through erouope. A big oops.  And then found out she was having twins all the while she was about to start schoo l at the University of Santa Barbara. So HD an open adaption that way she gets to actively check in on her babies and even has a super close relationship with the parents that she got to choose for her baby. This was 6 years ago and everything is still going well. Just think of all your options it's not like how it was in the 1950s but no matter what you need to choose what you feel is best for your situation and don't let anyone make you feel bad for it.

[MrzMomof5]

As for everyone else, I appreciate the advice, I'm human and made a lot of mistakes in my life, I'm not the type to go run to an abortion clinic just to fix my problem, I'm just looking at my husbands and i current situation being that we lost everything we had and have to start back over, yes I do believe children are blessing they are the greatest gift ever given to me, I just feel like with the timing isn't right especially with my husband and I living apart and I myself starting school . I pray everyday about it deep down I want to keep it, because its our baby, but I just want to get reestablished

[nalani123]

I say keep it but get your tubes tied babies are a blessing and god knows ur struggles so if he brings you to it he will bring you through it every child is a blessing and I'm sure you will find a way it will be hard but you will find a will to make it all better w support of friends and family .

[nickizzy]

Personally I think you should choose what's best for you and your family and not worry what others say, it's all well and good for everyone to tell u to just put it up for adoption but there not the ones raising 4 kids and having to go through 9 months of pregnancy with a baby there not going to keep and all the emotions and stress that goes with that too. If abortion is best for you then do what u feel is best your not murdering an innocent baby despite what some women are saying and there's a reason there's a certain stage u can get them and why doctors won't do anything to a threatened miscarriage under 12 weeks. This will be hard for u no matter what but really you have to decide if u want to try raise a baby you can't afford or are able to look after, carry a baby that you won't keep and still raise your other 4 kids whilst being pregnant or abort the pregnancy while you can and deal with the emotions and get on with life. All the best to you no matter what you choose. Your not a bad person, accidents happen life happens you do what's best for you it's no one else's life or decision

[MrsIsyss01]

I think you should have your baby n keep your child because if u had four n if  u give this one away the child will feel unloved and always wonder why and feel incomplete... Pray about it the lord will make a way....something I just have to sacrifice like your schooling... You might have to wait for that your Children comes first but I hope the best for you and sorry for your situation

[holli22]

I think your screen name says it all. You're already this unborn baby's momma. And can't change that

[ThirdTimeACharm]

Hey mama, sorry your going through this! It must be heart breaking for you, but I actually think you have made the decision to keep it you just need further assurance from other ladies... Don't let anyone tell you what you can do and what you can't do or talk down to you like you ain't got a brain... It can happen to anyone and you are of course married its just a shame about the circumstances behind it.... Woman are to quick to judge and offer advice based on their own emotions without considering the other person doorstep... Do you and God is with you and your family

[organicmama]

It sounds like you are not in a situation to carry another baby or take care of it once it is here. I'm sorry you are in such a stressful and unhappy spot. At this early stage you are well within your right to make a decision that is best for you and your family. You have to take care of what you have before you can take care of more. Look into adoption if you feel its a viable option for you, but abortion would be a reasonable decision before things get too far along. And look into reliable birth control. Hope you have a friend nearby for some real emotional support. Good luck.

[jesshat]

I would adopt your baby in a heartbeat! And I know there are plenty of parents out there that would too. If I couldn't afford it I honestly wouldn't be able to live with myself if I aborted but knowing that my baby was happy and making a life somewhere I think I could do that. Best of luck. Let me know if you need anything or to talk about it.

[happymomma22]

If I were in your situation I would consider adoption before abortion...I just do not believe I could get over aborting a baby. Its a little life and deserves a chance. I'm not sure why you and your husband are living apart but...maybe this baby has a purpose that you haven't considered yet. Just please put a lot of thought into your decision. I have talked with women after abortion through my local pregnancy care center...and they really struggle with guilt afterwards and lots of other emotions.

[mgevans]

Adoption is great but if you are in a certain financial situation and can't carry a pregnancy while taking care of your family, as long as you are within the acceptable amount of time you have every right to make your own choice. There is nothing wrong with taking that right. I'm sorry you have to make this choice. You may want to consider your options for birth control going forward. Good luck with your decision...

[luka_n_baby2]

Adoption is an amazing option. So many woman can't get pregnant that would love to have a baby. Do what you feel is right. If you know you can't afford it and it would make your current situation worse then don't add to your stress. Your are a strong woman you will be fine! I wish you luck

[aw219]

But if you choose adoption that's a choice to.  All the are completely up to you.

[aw219]

I am completely pro choice in the first trimester.  Don't listen to what others tell you.  Like someone said.  Do what is best for you and your family.  No sense bringing a child into the world where it's not wanted.  Not saying you would not love and support it.  And if having 4 children it may be horrible for the thing if you put it up for adoption.   I know people who are adopted and happy but also ones that are sad and angry.  And see many kids that are not well off in foster homes (really crappy situations).  You do what is right for you and don't let others tell you what is right for you, keeping it or not. I feel like abortion is better than adoption in some cases.  And good bless people whoadopt! Sorry but not, to everyone who disagrees.

[Theanna1989]

So sorry for your situation and hope you can soon get back on your feet with your beautiful children.  But if you don't believe in abortion don't go for it. There's always other options like adoption. There is a lot of couples that would give it all they have to have a blessing.  Either way have you talked to your husband about the situation even though you are not living with him anymore it's still his child and he should know about it too. Maybe he can help you out or something

[danahenley]

I'd say adoption would be perfect for someone who cant have children!