Aa
what are peoples views on abortion? ?
I'm basically asking this because my boyfriend droped the bombshell on me 2 days ago, "I think we should have an abortion"!. I was so gobsmacked because he told me he was sooo excited to have a baby. I asked him why and he wants me to have one because he doesn't work and I'm still studying at College and he's scared he's not going to be able to provide. As much as I think he's right I refuse to go through an abortion, its against my religion and I don't believe in it at all. What do other people think, just need a chat about it really because I'm so scared.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Anyone is welcome to post here, male or female. We all have our own opinions and thoughts on abortion.
However, this is a SUPPORT community and that is what we do here, support those making difficult decisions in their life regarding an unplanned pregnancy. They are able to choose in this country whether to have an abortion, place a child for adoption or to keep the baby. All have pros and cons and I'm thankful we live in a country in which women can make the best choice for themselves. At this forum, we support a woman's decision to make that choice and don't pass judgment if they choose to do something that we wouldn't choose to do ourselves.
I appreciate nohard's opinion here as it is as valid as anyone elses.
peace to all going through a difficult time.
However, this is a SUPPORT community and that is what we do here, support those making difficult decisions in their life regarding an unplanned pregnancy. They are able to choose in this country whether to have an abortion, place a child for adoption or to keep the baby. All have pros and cons and I'm thankful we live in a country in which women can make the best choice for themselves. At this forum, we support a woman's decision to make that choice and don't pass judgment if they choose to do something that we wouldn't choose to do ourselves.
I appreciate nohard's opinion here as it is as valid as anyone elses.
peace to all going through a difficult time.
I still think men have the right to come here to give their opinions and advice because like I said, it takes a man and a woman to make a baby.
We women can post on the Men's forum. I'm actually the CL over that forum and I've never had any of the men tell me not to post there or they thought it was strange.
You do have a right to your opinion though and I respect that.
We women can post on the Men's forum. I'm actually the CL over that forum and I've never had any of the men tell me not to post there or they thought it was strange.
You do have a right to your opinion though and I respect that.
This is a women's choice community. It just seems weird that a man is on it.
Nohard has every right to post here and give his opinion. It does take both a man and a woman to make a baby. I don't think it was very nice to ask if he was a creep or a predator. You said you have the freedom of speech, so does any man that wants to come and post on this forum. Everyone is trying to keep this forum nice and not be rude. Let's keep it that way so we can all give people good advice and support when they really need it the most.
Yes they have to deal with the consequences and I can tell them what the consequences will be so they can make an informed decision. There is nothing wrong with me telling them what will happen if they do something wrong. I have the freedom of speech just as much as you do or anyone else.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hopefully JoCorr has made the best decision for herself that works best for her life. peace
I think that you should try and talk things out with your boyfriend and I know that he gave you a reason to why he wants you have an abortion but I think you need to sit down and talk about it before you make any drastic decisions and do something you'll regret. also I think that you can still have the baby but think of all the options you have is abortion really the only one you could think about adoption yes you may not want the baby but this baby could make another couple who maybe can't have kids so happy. another point I'd like to make is if its against your religion do you really wan to go ahead with it. Another point is that you said that he was happy at first so maybe its not just the fact that he can't afford it maybe there's something else to why he doesn't want you to have the baby. I hope my advice is helpful and I hope you make the right decisions
Hi Jo what every body says he you can just dicount, its no good looking for answers from other people even me, and I'm a man, end of the day its your body, forget religous things, because again its your body and not any gods.
But I can see your b/fs side of it and I think you can as well, he wants his future off spring to be brought up in a home put together by both of you, and can see the sence in you finishing your education, and with him have no job does not help all this, and these are real hard facts.
End of the day your body, and not anybody elses, please just use your brain, when making your decision. and not every body elses.
End of the day me or them will not have to bring it up.
Good Luck
But I can see your b/fs side of it and I think you can as well, he wants his future off spring to be brought up in a home put together by both of you, and can see the sence in you finishing your education, and with him have no job does not help all this, and these are real hard facts.
End of the day your body, and not anybody elses, please just use your brain, when making your decision. and not every body elses.
End of the day me or them will not have to bring it up.
Good Luck
This is a very controversial topic, and tends to spark huge debate. The reality is that the law does not consider a fetus to be a person until around 20 weeks, when there is a small potential for survival outside the womb. Everyone has the right to decide as they will providing it stays within the context of the law. There is no sense arguing about the issue as it is a personal one that most have strong feelings about. This thread has stayed quite civil, and that is a good thing. Could we try to keep it that way?
The idea of souls is a religious one, not a scientific one. And fetuses don't breathe. Babies breathe once they are born.
A heartbeat is not sufficient for survival. A parasite is merely an organism that lives on or in another organism and gains nourishment from the other organism. The relationship can be beneficial or not. Yes, it is alive, but it cannot survive without taking nourishment from the mother. I personally dislike the idea of late term abortions because the fetus theoretically could survive outside without the mother, and it's more fully formed. The scientific jury is still technically out on when a fetus can feel pain, but most estimates are around 24 weeks, and not usually before 20 weeks, which is the cutoff for abortions in many places.
In the mean time, the mother is a living, breathing individual (or soul), who has the right to make personal healthcare decisions. You have the right to make decisions about your own healthcare, and so do other women. Even if you believe that it is against God's will, they are the one who has to deal with the consequences, not you.
A heartbeat is not sufficient for survival. A parasite is merely an organism that lives on or in another organism and gains nourishment from the other organism. The relationship can be beneficial or not. Yes, it is alive, but it cannot survive without taking nourishment from the mother. I personally dislike the idea of late term abortions because the fetus theoretically could survive outside without the mother, and it's more fully formed. The scientific jury is still technically out on when a fetus can feel pain, but most estimates are around 24 weeks, and not usually before 20 weeks, which is the cutoff for abortions in many places.
In the mean time, the mother is a living, breathing individual (or soul), who has the right to make personal healthcare decisions. You have the right to make decisions about your own healthcare, and so do other women. Even if you believe that it is against God's will, they are the one who has to deal with the consequences, not you.
From the moment of conception it is a living, breathing soul. The heart starts beating at 17 days after conception. It is not a parasite. That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. It can feel everything just as much as you can. Just because you're an atheist doesn't mean the baby is not alive. You can believe that lie if you want. That's what people like you say so they don't feel guilty, but its not true.
As some other people said, it's personal. Keep in mind that around 1/3 of American women end up having an abortion at some point, so you would certainly not be alone if that was your decision. If it were me, I would think very hard about my partner being so unsure about raising a kid, because it's a lot of work even with two people. It sounds like you two would also be in a much better position to handle a kid even a year from now, after you graduate and you both have time to get decent jobs and plan for it. Another thing to consider is how much support you could get from your families. If your extended family is willing to pitch in financially, or by helping with babysitting, it will make finishing school a lot more feasible for you.
As an atheist, I don't have any religious objections to abortion. Also, before a certain age (usually around 21 weeks or so), a fetus is essentially a parasite, unable to live without the support of the uterus, even with the best medical technology available. Therefore, my personal belief is that it doesn't count as a separate being before then. The person who is pregnant is an individual being with thoughts, feelings, and a life, and so I count their well being before that of something that is not yet an individual. I also believe that the decision to have or not have an abortion is completely personal, and no one should try to make you feel bad about that decision, whatever it happens to be.
Adoption is also an option if you're dead set against an abortion, and there are plenty of infertile couples (or couples with bad genetics they don't want to pass on) who would love to have a child. There are even open adoptions, which let you stay in contact with the child.
In the end, it sounds like having a baby at this time might be really difficult for you, and it might make sense to try later. You need to weigh your beliefs and the potential outcomes to make the decision, and you should think about it soon so that you have time to sort things out. It will probably go better if you and your boyfriend agree, but since you are the one who is pregnant, and women are often left supporting the children if a couple breaks up, you should have the final word.
As an atheist, I don't have any religious objections to abortion. Also, before a certain age (usually around 21 weeks or so), a fetus is essentially a parasite, unable to live without the support of the uterus, even with the best medical technology available. Therefore, my personal belief is that it doesn't count as a separate being before then. The person who is pregnant is an individual being with thoughts, feelings, and a life, and so I count their well being before that of something that is not yet an individual. I also believe that the decision to have or not have an abortion is completely personal, and no one should try to make you feel bad about that decision, whatever it happens to be.
Adoption is also an option if you're dead set against an abortion, and there are plenty of infertile couples (or couples with bad genetics they don't want to pass on) who would love to have a child. There are even open adoptions, which let you stay in contact with the child.
In the end, it sounds like having a baby at this time might be really difficult for you, and it might make sense to try later. You need to weigh your beliefs and the potential outcomes to make the decision, and you should think about it soon so that you have time to sort things out. It will probably go better if you and your boyfriend agree, but since you are the one who is pregnant, and women are often left supporting the children if a couple breaks up, you should have the final word.
Regardless of anyone's personal feelings about abortion, I think most people would agree that the WORST decision you could make would be to base it on what someone else - in this case, your boyfriend - thinks you should do. Making such a big decision based on someone else's preferences, disregarding your own, will only lead to regret and resentment.
It's not an easy decision, and I wish you well in coming to peace with whatever YOU decide.
It's not an easy decision, and I wish you well in coming to peace with whatever YOU decide.
It is a personal choice, and the decision is 100% yours. It is unfortunate that you are in this situation, and I can only imagine what a difficult time this is for you. Here in Canada, if a women is contemplating an abortion, they first have to visit with a counselor. Perhaps that might be a good starting point for you and your boyfriend? Or even just you? You want someone who will neither push you into it, nor judge you for whatever you decide. It's your body, and your life and your decision. No one should try to force you and no one should sit in judgement of you. Whatever choice you make...adoption, abortion or to keep and raise the child, your life is going to be forever altered, so do make sure you think your decision through carefully. It's a tough one, and I wish you all the best. Take good care sweetheart.
I personally think if people are not responsible enough to raise a baby, they shouldn't be having sex.
COMPLETELY 110% AGAINST THEM !!!! IF UR ADULT ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX UR ADULT ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF THE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!
I did'nt get to read what you posted earlier so I don't understand why it was deleted. If we can talk about abortion and unplanned, or in some cases, planned pregnancies why can't we talk about birth control? Someone here said that if you're old enough to have sex you're old enough to raise a baby. I have to disagree with that. Let's be real, it takes money, time, maturity, patience, to raise a child. I just think every child deserves a good loving home.
Abortion is murder. Why should an innocent baby pay for what their mother has done?
Thanks for saying it right. I agree with you. I said it earlier but they deleted my post.
I don't understand why people keep getting pregnant over and over again when birth control is free or almost free in many states. A guy can promise you anything but in the end he can walk away any time he wants leaving you all alone to take care of the baby. I do understand things can happen even if you're on birth control. Personally I'm glad there are places a woman can go if she chooses. It's not like the old days where women got sick or even died from an abortion.
Abortion is wrong, it's the same as killing somebody. It's a living breathing baby that God created; Life isn't ours to give and take away. You can always put your baby up for adoption, and if you don't want to that, there's plenty of help you can get from different organizations. You don't wanna do something you'll end up regretting.
I just graduated high school and both me and my boyfriend are not working and on government assistance it does get hard at times but in way are we gonna abort our baby. Not because its a religion thing ( we both don't have religions) It is hard to find a job out there but its possible to provide for your baby. Do you have WIC where you live?
Personally i think its up to u...i had 2 abortions when i was 17 & 18 which i dont necessarily regret but its still very hard to deal with...i now have a beautiful son who just turned 4 and wete expecting our 2nd in aug....my son was unexpected and neither of us had jobs,but wirh state assistamce and motivation we did it! Now we both have great jobs amd im in my second year of college...u can do it...u both jusy have to want to deep down
I had an abortion at 15. I was alone and still at school. no bf or money. i was still a child myself and my mum did what she thought the right thing was and booked me the abortion and i went along with it. i barely thought about it. i just wanted it to all go away. The day after was probably the worst id ever felt in my life. i felt so guilty and sad at what had happned. but at the end of the day i was not ready for motherhood and im glad i had that option. adoption is a great thing but you have to really be ready to hand your baby away to never see him again.. i could not do that. i would find that so much harder. i dont think lack of money is a good reason to have an abortion. if that was the case then i wouldnt have my daughter and i wouldnt be about to have my son. but it is your choice and noone should tell you what is right or rong only you can decide what is right for you now. Good luck with what you decide and i hope its the best decition for you. x :)
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