what to do I'm so confused :(

[Alexandria610]

So my boyfriend and I have been on and off about keeping the baby his family is really supportive and will help but I feel maybe it might not be the right time for me. I'm worried about losing them all from my life. I'm 9 weeks and 6 days and need to make this choice fast I'm really scared to make the wrong one. I want the baby when I'm around him but when I'm not I want a life. Help please :(

[specialmom]

Most women who have abortions go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies later on.  I do want to clarify that.  Actually, women with gynecological issues do a similar procedure to correct them.  All abortions are not unsafe but do have risk associated as any procedure does.  

Any woman considering abortion should consider all of the pros and cons included with that as well as all of the pros and cons to adoption or keeping the baby and make the BEST decision for them personally.  No one else will be able to make that decision for you.  Your body, your choice.  

Luck to all!!

[baby2014]

If you have doubts don't do it because it can lead to regrets later. Remember their are 3 lives here yours your boyfriends and the growing baby inside. Your choice reflects you all. Everyone has advice and they give it the best way they know they all have opinions no need to be offended if you don't like someone else's advice or opinion then discard it and find the one that suits you. A question was asked and many opinions and advice was given I read them all and they all sounded like good advice from both sides. Now it's up to you on who's advice you will take. I do know that d&C's can make it harder for you later to conceive because it messes with the uterine lining. All abortions are unsafe and can harm you. Just as child birth. Everything has it's risks and is never completely safe so do research and definitely sit down with the father of the child I believe it is both of your choices because it takes 2 to make a child and it is apart of his DNA also. Bless you and I pray all goes well for you.

[specialmom]

Yes, agree.  YOU are the one that will go through a pregnancy, birth and will ultimately be the one to care for this child with lots to consider around that.  Where are you going to work to pay for baby, who is going to watch baby while you work, did you have plans like college or school that will have to be reworked, are you willing to be at home with baby most of the time when not working, medical expenses, baby expenses, etc.  Lots and lots of real life things to consider when having a child that really should be factored in.

If you have a loving supportive family, it is more doable.  But ultimately, the burden lays with you so you have to be prepared for it.  Babies are wonderful but lots of responsibility.  Sometimes it simply isn't the best time for that.  Sometimes it isn't the best time but we make the best of it.  Sometimes it is perfect timing.  This is all for YOU to consider and do what is best for YOU with no judgment from anyone else.  peace and luck

[NOHARD]

Hi Alex, OK Think of your future, and I did say your future, where do you want to be in 12 months time, have you made plans, for work, for getting ahead.
What's happening if you life now will change all your plans, if you think your plans are more important, and this is the way a lot of women think, then go that way, just remember its your body, and what you do with your body in yours  and only your decision.
Listen, do what you want to do, don't be persuaded, remember your body, your mind.
Good Luck

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I'm sure this is such a confusing time for you hon.  What I would do is to take out a notebook and pencil and start making a con list and a pro list.  Sounds a little simple but that so helps me when trying to sort out a troubling situation or decision.  There are many pros and cons to having a child.  It sounds like timing may be off.  This happens and please do not feel guilty about that if you do decide that termination is best for you.  Many women go on to have babies when they are prepared and ready for them.  Please know that.

You can make a list for pros and cons for keeping baby, pros and cons for adoption and pros and cons for termination.  take your time making these lists and really think about what is best for YOU.  After all, YOU will be the one handling the bulk of the burden of this.  

We are here to support you.  You can pm me if you'd like or post here at the forum.  

Wishing you all the best dear.  Hugs and peace

[Steph_MHModerator]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to make a quick reminder that this is not a place for debate, but a place to answer the member's question in a supportive manner.  

Thanks!

Steph

[kimjarrah]

Do whats best for you, if you are not ready, youre not ready! Dont listen to peoples personal opinions, because they arent in your situation, they dont know who you are or what youre feeling. Dont let other people persuade you, this choice needs to be made from the heart. My friends sister was forced to have an abortion by her boyfriend and now she is miserable.. Adoption would be a seriously hard thing to do, and lots of the ladies have wrote that there are plenty of wonderful parents willing to adopt and care for the baby.. not always true. My dad was adopted and had a horrible life, reminded daily that he was adopted and that his parents didnt love him..
Whatever path you choose I wish you the best of luck :)

[Ashdub07]

You're welcome sweetie!

[Alexandria610]

I have been on birth control since I was 15 religiousLy every day at 9am. I don't need advice from rude people I'm considering all options there is no reason to be rude to me I came here for help but I guess it was the wrong place because people  make it so dam hard. Thank you for the ones who gave kind words and good advice

[luxejess93]

Getting rid of your baby will also have a big impact on their lives as well. Ultimately it's your body and your choice about what happens to it. Doesn't matter what any of us say or think. It's your life, not ours. You still have a few weeks to think about it so dont rush yourself too much. Just stay calm and figure out what you would like to do. Talk to your boyfriend, family, friends anyone you would need support from either way you decide. If you do decide to keep it, just make sure at least one of you have a job and you all have a safe place to stay. Good luck! I'm here if you have any questions :)

[Ashdub07]

True Shelly

[Ashdub07]

Well when I was 13 the morning after pill was something I didn't even know existed.

[Tay9662]

there is a difference between rape and getting pregnant and willingly getting pregnant, i believe the day after pill is enough it can go up to 1 week after the incident but there are alot of people that abuse these things they make condoms and birth control for a reason its just really sad to me that some people could have 10+ abortions and dgaf about it

[Ashdub07]

Hey, I am not for women who use abortion as birth control! I got pregnant on birth control that I took religiously. At 17. I had the choice and I kept her because I had sex willingly. BUT I had an abortion at 13 when I was RAPED by a friend of my dad and got pregnant. Yeah, thanks for asking him to babysit, dad! I'm just saying. **** happens. Im pro choice but not pro-system abuse. I think after 3 abortions due to lack of precaution a woman AND the man should undergo temporary sterilization, ie vasectomy and tubal clamping. But for the women who need an abortion I am glad they have the option. Too many people abuse that.  It's true.

[Ashdub07]

How do you know they didn't use protection? Lots of women get pregnant while on birth control. Just throwing that out there.

[BabyTurnip]

Okay! Im against abortion 100% but this poor girl just wanted advice! I got tired of telling people how horrible it is because u always have people that will turn around and say its fine. Obviously, abortion is murder. No matter how u look at it u are taking a life. From the government point of vue its fine to do it. Thus the reason why its open out there for the public and many women use it as a birth control. But she knows what abortion is and theres no point for any of us to get upset since its her choice. Definetaly agree to go see a councelor and see ur options

[baby2bear]

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first and considered all the options.  I made the choice to keep the baby and now have an amazing 8 year old daughter.  It has definitely been a hard road but the best thing that ever hsppened in my life.  As hard as it is to be a young mom...its worth every moment!

[torixoxo1]

This girl I used to be best friends with got an abortion at 11 weeks I don't agree with her decision only because she didn't do anything to prevent getting pregnate, she let her boyfriend finish inside her over & over again. However I put my feelings aside and went with her to get it done. The only reason she got it done was because her mom told her boyfriend If he didn't tell her he didn't want it she would turn him in for having sex with a minor. Don't let someone make you feel like you need to get an abortion or adoption or even have it. Do what's right for you and if people don't accept your decision **** them.

[Ilovesteven]

Its Best You Dont Get An Abortion, Feeling A Baby Inside You Should Be The Most Beautiful Thing Ever. You May Not Feel Ready Now, But Once You Hear Your Babies Heart Beat Youll Fall In Love <3 Btw,You Willl Havr To Pay To Get An Abortion. Either Keep The Baby Or Give It Up For Adoption (: You Wont Regret It. I Hope You Make The Rite Decision :) I Just Had A Miscarriage Sunday Night, &Im Only 16. &Me An My Boyfriend Of 1Year &4Months. Are Willing To Try Again. YES, We Are Financially Stabled And Have ALOT Of Family Support (: If You Need Any Advice Heres My Number, [phone] Im Willing To Help (:

[katiemarie123]

We all have a right to our opinions. But honestly please have an ultrasound before you go threw with this. Becsuse my first one at 10 weeks my baby was waving her arms around sucking on her thumb and toes it absolutely changed my life. So please have an ultrasound because yes some on here may not see abortion as a big deal but your killing apart of you. Best of luck hun

[babywhalen2]

I think a lot of us have gotten a little out of control on this post. This isnt about your personal views on the matter of abortion. This is about a person asking for help. Lets all try to keep our personal feelings set to the side, regardless of what they mey be, or how diffivult it may be for you to do. @Alexandria, it sounds like you and your bf have some soul searching to do. My advice would be that whichever choice you make, make it with your whole heart, knowing with every fiber of your being, that it is the right one for you. I wish you the best of luck in your future, whichever choice you decide to make. Stay strong girl, i know this is a difficult place for you to be in. Feel free to msg me if you ever need to talk. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[courtness89]

I agree with abigails momma. Its not about us taking offense because that incorrect. From where im standing and most of the comments i have read you people are so against abortion. Adoption is not always the solution. Haven't you heard horror stories about people that have been adopted and the people who adopted them abused them or didn't care for them? And besides that. You all seem to think abortion is wrong and i think ot only because youre all pregnant! And when you've never had an abortion i don't think you can comment about it because you do not know how it feels and the effect it has on a persons life. So many of yous say abortion is wrong don't kill your baby. Its not a fetus before 12 weeks, its a  embryo. Like it or lump it. stop pressuring her to keep the baby or give it away.

[Ashdub07]

I'm somewhat of a feminist, I guess. Not full fledged because I'm a stay at home mom but after being raped once and sodomized 5 years later, the rights of my body are very important to me. I think women should not judge each other and the ones who have narrow minded views and hateful things to say just need to keep their mouths closed. Some women will never understand the NEED to make a choice. And while adoption is a wonderful solution, there are so many babies that are born in the system and grow up in the system and age out of the system, never getting the love or nurture they deserve. This is such a strong topic

[Tay9662]

i wouldnt get a abortion..its against my religion but besides that if i ever had a child after that i would feel so bad and never get over it, if you dont want the baby you can always give up for adoption but i think you'll love this baby its not the end of your life i promise