lisarf-for future reference, there are a limited number of threads we are able to open each day. Opening one without a true question or something to tell us takes up a thread that might otherwise be used for something important.
I am very sorry i am babysitting today for my cousin and i walked awayfrom the computer to cook breakfast and the 10 year old (who should know better) grabbed the chance to pick at the computer. i am 31 years old not a child and not in the least bit childish....try to understand that accidents happen.
that said, i posted here last week that i just found out i'm pregnant and i am very happy to be. problem is, the father is screaming at me to have an abortion. I'm definately not..but i'm scared about being a single parent. if h doesn't want the child i don't believe he'll be a good father. so i would rather just break ties with him and do this alone. i know it's onl fair that he should support the baby but, i know what it's like to gow up with a bad father and i definately don't want that for my child. basically i need advise..how can i do this alone? what do you tell a child about a father who just didn't care?
I have a friend who dealt with this. Don't be scared it might me hard to do it alone but you sound like an amazing woman who will raise her child very well. My friend found a very nice man who married her an adopted her son.Good luck and stay strong.
For Chloe...i only wrote that to be as petty as you were. It was obvious that she made a mistake and wasn't taking up space. OK! Sorry I stirred up a hornet's nest! I apologize...I think we're all hormonal!
I really do not know why people on this board get so aggravated at others when they post. I have been on this board for a while...dont post much but have noticed that people (even regulars) open forums for other reasons other than having specific pregnancy related questions.
I am just commenting on some of the above posts. I really do not comment on issues like these but I have to say that its disrespectful for someone to jump to conclusion and attack someone. I will keep coming to this site. I have been for over 4 years.
To answer your question, I was once in your situation... only at a MUCH younger age. I got pregnant at 16. The "father" of my son yelled at me to have an abortion or he would "kill me and the baby". Needless to say, I said screw him!! I had my son at 17. I was a single mom, and I know how hard it can be... but I would NEVER change it. When my son was 2, I met a wonderful, wonderful man. Actually it's someone I knew all of my life, but didn't think he was my type. We ended up having a few dates, then got pretty serious, and we're now married. We were working on the adoption process but he's been deployed to Iraq so that has been put on hold until he returns. I know that my husband is a better daddy than "the sperm donor" EVER would have been. If that's his views, tell him to go and live his life alone and miserable some place else. YOU will do a wonderful job as a mother, even if you have to do it alone. And in the long run, you're more than likely to find a wonderful man to fit the part as "Daddy". Good luck to you!
If you want this baby, don't let this jerk ruin a happy time for you! Cut ties and make sure that he signs away all responsibility for this baby. One day you'll find a REAL man and you don't want this jerk to be in the way. (Can you tell I had a similar experience!?) If he is willing for you to kill the baby, then he should have no problem leaving you alone. If you wait, then he will have the pleasure of seeing his child even though he caused you pain. Not only that, you will be leaving an open door for him to come and go as he pleases which, in my opinion, is worse than if the child didn't know him at all. Grr...sorry! Its my personal frustrations that are fueling this post. Good luck. Only you know the right decision that is best for you.
Nina- I have not been on this site too long, but one thing I have noticed is that people out here have bonded in friendship and support of each other. Most of them, myself included, post everyday just to say goodmorning. This is a great site and people do not really "fight" we just share and explore the different opinions that are out there. I myself brought up vaccines the other week and it stirred up alot of different emotions, but I did not do it to say my opinion was the only one or even that it was the right one. I think we just share what we have experienced, but this is much more than a Q & A forum. This is a group of women dealing with infertility issues and then sharing the success and blessing of being pregnant. I hope you continue to vist and maybe share your story with us. I think you will find unbelievable support and encouragement if you do. :)
I keep forgetting about the "child" in Maternal & Child forum title. Although, I discuss mine enough...lol. I do think it is a great site and it has really been good for me to get out here and share and read what others are going thru. I have met two people in very similar situations as mine and it is nice to talk to them about medical experiences and so forth. I also appreciate all your advice and input. You are very helpful! :)
I did not know you and DH were having what I like to refer to with my DH as "issues", but I am glad you had a nice weekend! I will say a little prayer for you and I hope it all gets much better! :)
Just wanted to say I think you are such an encouraging and sweet person. I just wanted to tell you that =) Baby dust (tons of it) to you! =)
Christie, glad to hear you had a good weekend w/ hubby. That's wonderful~ I watched "The Story of Us" this weekend..made me cry! Dunno if you've seen it or not but it was really good!
Well, that was very sweet of you! I really do enjoy this site and I love you all for just being willing to come out here and share your stories... the happy and the sad! Forgive me for asking, but I have read some of your posts and I know that you have miscarried, but are you currently ttc or preggo? I am trying to keep up with everyone and keep you all straight! :)
=) I'm trying to currently figure my body out..i guess that's the best way of putting it. I had two losses last year..one to ectopic and one to missed miscarriage...thought i was pregnant last month but wasn't =(. I do have three healthy beautiful (of COURSE RIGHT) little boys...11,9 and 3 and the 3 year old is spoiled rotten since he's the baby lol! how about you if you don't mind me asking? i understand keeping everyone strait! =)
lisarf-Sorry! I figured that it had to be either an accident or a test post because maybe you were having puter problems because your previous posts didn't seem "childish"! :) No hard feelings I hope!
Anyway-as for your situation, I talked to a friend about that this morning. Her DH had a one night stand several years ago (before their marriage) and he as much told the woman he wanted nothing to do with her or the child when she came up pregnant. He pays child support but has since married and is happy and this woman is constantly trying to force their son on him. She has even enlisted the child himself to play guilt games on his father. This situation is the oppoiste of yours, but my point is, break ties if you think you can and want to do it alone.
DO FILE for child cupport because he owes you that much at least, but make it clear to him that he makes his choice now, he sees the kid regularly or not at all. Be sure and give him a choice YOU can live with and one that is good for your baby. But be sure and stick to your end of the bargain too. If he decides NOT to see the child at all, don't try and make him. If he decides to see the child regularly, make the child avaiable as much as you can.But I can't stress enough, MAKE HIM PAY!! Maybe you are financially able to support this baby, but you shouldn't have to alone.
Christie-That is great about you and your DH!! Maybe this is a turning point for you two!!:)
I was married previously and had a ds. We got divorced because we did not do very well as a couple (he was what I call a screamer and I am kind of timid). When we got divorced I thought no one would want me & a child. But I found the most wonderful man in the world. He'd love to adopt my son but his father will not allow it. After he told me he'd sign off of all rights to him, now he decided he wants to be a father (jerk). :)
But you can do it ! Whether women start off as single moms or it happens later, there are tons of women there at some point. I have a friend who is a single mom to 2 kids (her husband abandoned them, she gets no child support or anything) and she does it ! DO you have family near you that can help in a pinch ?
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