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246850 tn?1246163948
how do you feel about same sex parents??
I dont want to offend anyone, so i will be careful what i say here. I watched a baby story the other day with 2 women who were having a baby. Honostly...it totally turned me off to the show that i love to watch almost daily. Kennedy has a child in her class with 2 moms as well. In this state, same sex marriage is illegal. I just dont get it. Does anyone else have an opinion? Once again i do not want to offend anyone.
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138725 tn?1278063590
I feel that what happend behind closed doors is none of my business.  What is more important is the type of person you are and how you treat those around you.  Infact, two of my closest friend are lesbians who are raising one of the nicest little boys I have ever come across.  The rest is of no concern to me.
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i was just watching a video clip on MSN about twin boys who invented wedgy proof underwear, and the TV new caster announced they were back stage with their "moms"!!!! Personally, i dont agree with it, i think there should be a balance of both male figure and female figure in a childs life when growing up. I know there are alot of people out there who grew up with a parent missing or lived in a house with pure women or pure men and turned out fine, but the results with that balance is even better. However, if i were to meet same sex parents I would not treat them any differently as i would regurlar parents thought i dont agreee with it.
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Well perhaps being in California makes the difference, b/c here it just isn't an 'issue'. I not only see nothing wrong w/it, but am so happy to see a child surrounded by 2 loving people who will show them a healthy relationship of love and respect, no matter what the sex. My husband was actually raised in a lesbian household, and is one of the most compassionate, caring people I've ever met. I don't particular like seeing 2 women or men affectionate, but, hey...that's me. I think just love in general should be encouraged and embraced. How wonderful it would be that children see 2 loving, interested parents more often than the so many kids w/ disinterested or missing dads, etc.
I don't think you'll offend people. One of the great things about this forum is expressing opinions and just knowing there's many opinions out there!
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138725 tn?1278063590
I would rather have a happy child in a happy same sex relationship than an unhappy child from an abusive marriage.
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172826 tn?1423426556
CYW
well i don't "go that way" but it would offend me if a girl hit on me...however same sex...is perfectly fine to me anyways..there is a male couple that lives right beside me..they are very nice...in any cases do i find it okay for a homosexual as well as a heterosexual couple to be all over eachother in a public place...my way of thinking has surely changed in the past few years...if you are happy with the person you are with then so be it...personally i don't see a problem..here in canada it is becoming coming out more and i find that is awesome...i find that not so many people here re to judge allTHAT much but there is the few that are very ignorantabout it...for a same sex coupe to choose to have a baby i think it takes alot of courage because there will always be te few that will talk about them or whatl not..(not sayin you re one of them...u just made a comment and it is fine...it seems as though u are trying to somewhat accept the idea or find info n thats fine...)also i find that whether a child is in a normal parent family..mom n dad or single parent..same sex..group home..friends etc...what makes a family is not just a mum n a dad..to me anyways because u could have both n they are awful parents...family to me doesnt have to be biological(not sure if it makes sense lol im french) but either way its like your race and etnicity n colour n religion...just because like for example the city i grew up in are caucasian n once in a blue moon would you come across an african/jamaican...im not sure whch term to use i try n be careful on these things but anywho..so just because of ur race because the outstanding majority is caucasian...were they not allowed to attend a school with caucasian people? see the way i thin of it is if tey are willing to work hard at being parets since most of them are often awesome parent...who are we to say the dont deserve the same happiness of parenting a wonderful child...alot of them choose to adopt since obviously same sex cannot make babies but t us its wonderful right well to them its just as wonderful whether they adopt or get implanted etc...i see where u sre coming from but try n keep an open mind...its a rough world out there for same sex couples..i hope everyon just would accept them..maybe one day...in a perfect world...i hope thos helps maybe???
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I think its a beautiful thing .... love is love in any combination.
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300926 tn?1253586116
I say as long as the child is happy.   When you see same sex couples they want the same things as we do (a family).  So if they can give a child love, a great home, and a wonderful life, who are we to judge?  
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147929 tn?1294855322
I don't see anything wrong with it.  I would personally much rather a child be raised by 2 loving parents in a safe home with love and open, honest communication and understanding.  How many kids are raised by a single parent anyway?  Wouldn't it be better to have 2 parents than one no matter what their sex is?  love is love.....
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167 tn?1374177417
This would have been a great post for Women's Community forum.
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I have a hard time believing that in this day an age that people still think this way.  There are wars going on and huge world issues and if two people are in love and want to raise a child (which is completely legal here in Canada) I can't see why that would be any concern to anyone else.  I think it is because of negative attitudes that homosexual people must go through all the hardships that they do.  It is in discussing these things that perpetuates the cycle.  I have a huge issue with people who have closed minds and discriminatory attitudes raising children.  II dont think they should be allowed (sounds silly doesn't it). I would hate to have a bunch of discriminatory people running around this world.  
On a positive note, I am very happy with most of the opinions on this page.  I am glad to see more positive than negative.  
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221025 tn?1332558946
Personally, I don't agree with same sex relationships - on a practical level - I work with children and I see hetero couples every day who should never ever have children - I've also been fortunate enough to have several same sex families in our center and it was an amazing experience.  Despite our own personal beliefs, there is NOTHING that says same sex parents aren't GOOD parents.  They love their children, they take them to church, teach them at home, care for them, and advocate for them.  Isn't that what every child should have regardless of the sex of their parent?  I am a big believer that love grows in the heart - NOT in the womb (or the sexual organs in this case)
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Just for interest's sake...... What exactly don't you "beleive in"?  It sounds to me as if you are a positive person with an open mind.  What is it you don't "believe in?
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127124 tn?1326739035
I don't agree with it.  BUT  my only experience with it has turned me off.  Here's why.  Two women raising a 13 yr old.   The 13 yr old was watching the boys play baseball and commented about how cute one was.  The moms then started pointing out girls saying look at that one, she's cute.  She has a cute figure.  Go talk to her.  Seemed to me like they were trying to get the girl interested in girls.    I just wonder now how often same sex marriage influence the child to go to same sex also.

**putting on protective armour now**  
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How often do you encourage your children to seek attention from the opposite sex?  LoL (protective armour)
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127124 tn?1326739035
My kids are 11 and 7 so I definately don't encourage them to seek attention from either sex.    I really try to be open minded.  I've only know a couple gay people in my life.  But what these women were doing seemed so wrong.  Why encourage someone that age to look at either sex?   I do not care for public displays of affection whether it's a man/woman, 2 men, or 2 women.  Some things are better left behind closed doors.
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great question for the women's community.....
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142722 tn?1281537216
This is one of those subjects, just like abortion, where many will think different things.  My two cents - I don't do it or would I ever and don't want my children to do it either.  It is a sin and it is against what God has said in the Bible.  Now, we all sin and I am not perfect.  I have know a couple of bi people and they were really good people.  I never once told them that I thought they were wrong in their lifestyles.  What they do is what they do.  In my book, it is wrong.  Only what I think and I am not saying they are bad people and they shouldn't have children.  
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I think I'll put my two cents in since, I work in an industry where the men are predominately gay. And I live in Nyc which is probably one of the most tolerable cities in the US.
I feel that love has no eyes. Love knows no color, no size, no race, no sex. All a child needs to grow is food, water, shelter and love.  I dont believe that you have to be an opposite sex couple to give the child a happy home.  And I dont believe that just because you are an opposite sex couple, you can provide a better home than a couple who is of the same sex.  I've seen many stories both on tv and in my own personal life of instances where a couple is unfit to take care of a child and is taken away. So why not give that child a fighting chance at life and allow a loving/stable couble (be it same or opposite sex) to adopt him/her or have their own baby anyway they choose how. It may not be appealing to some but, I think overall, it's what's best for the child, period.    
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tmv
I think that kids have a hard enough time with all of the ridicules of others without adding to it. Maybe I'm alone here, but it is just too confusing for them to understand. Where are our values? (stirring up a bees nest, but personal viewpoint)
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I can probably guess that your Daughter has been asked if she has a boyfriend in her class (my niece in kindergarten has been asked that many times) or your son if he has a girlfriend.  I think those women (although probably a little early) were trying to encourage their child to have an open mind, be who she/he is as a human being and trying to let their child know that they would be happy with whatever their child is.  I don't think there is much wrong with that.  That is all I am trying to say.  I think your right in saying "why encourage someone that age to look at either sex" however, that is NOT what you were taking issue with.  You were taking issue with the fact that they were encouraging their child to look at the SAME sex.
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Thank you - you put it so eloquently.
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167 tn?1374177417
My philosophy is "To each his own". If it works out for a family to be this way, great. I personally do not really care for the idea of being gay. But again, to each his (or her) own. Keep in mind relationships can go sour regardless of same sex or not. One of my good friends mothers decided after years that she is a lesbian. She has had one bad relationship after another and has even been battered by another woman. People are people. I'm just not quite sure that two women or two men would be capable of understanding their heterosexual child, just as a heterosexual parent would have a hard time understanding their homosexual child. I would think that they could possibly influence their child in a way that might confuse the child more so than usual. This brings up the nature vs nurture question also. I'm still not convinced that gay is genetic. ((((protective armor))))
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127124 tn?1326739035
There is a huge difference between asking your child if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend and pointing out people to them.  A parent should not be pointing people out to a child.  I would be just as upset if it was a mom or dad pointing out the opposite sex to their child.  
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127124 tn?1326739035
I'm not convinced that gay is genetic either.  
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no kidding.....
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274158 tn?1276350787
Well, at least they have 2 loving parents!! That's more than I had. I do feel bad if the kids get ridiculed in school, etc. Kids can be mean.
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274158 tn?1276350787
Cont....I went to high school with a girl with 2 dads, it was soooo hard for her, her last name happened to be Gaye. The kids in school were mean to her. I was friends with her though, and it didn't seem to bother her too much after a while.
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as long as the child is being raised by 2 loving people it doesn't matter whether they r same sex or not...tho i personally dnt like the idea of same sex relationship(may be i'm backdated!)...and if my daughter comes and tells me that she has fallen i love with some ''cute'' girl at school then i'll surely freak out....lol! No offence meant!
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93532 tn?1349374050
I am very disappointed in people here today. Genes have been found that play a role in everything, from being fat, to developing cancer, being gay is no different. I have an issue with people having kmids that aren't married, so I say they are against the Bible? I have an issue with people who sleep around married or not, do i admonish them? I have huge issues with women who TTC when they are in relationships that aren't secure or TTC relationships where they are "in love" after only a few weeks. But again, not my place to say anything. BUT I cannot believe how close-minded some of my dear friends can be on here. I would rather have children raised by the two most flamboyant gay men than a single mom with a dirt bag baby daddy. The arguments are completely ridiculous. Have2Kids, you really killed me on this. A gay couple cannot understand a a straight kid and vice versa? WHAT?!? Love for a child is love for a child, regardless of their sexual orientation. And yes, couples of either sex have issues. How many of our straight couples on here are on the verge of divorce? How many single moms do we have on here?

I need to close this page and chill out. I am absolutely disgusted and sad right now that people still think this way and are so quick to criticize someone for the way they are born. People used to do this years ago with birth defects. People still do this with skin color. Absolutely sickening.
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156876 tn?1218634948
**** protective armor****  You ladies are a trip...LOL!!!  As the saying goes, you have to make sure your house is clean before you worry about someone elses :)  I personally don't care either way and I think most of society is like that.  As long as the child is in a loving environment it shouldn't be an issue.  Like another poster said, there are some hetero's that should not be allowed to parent.  Discimination is across the board.  I am actually pleased when I see interracial couples, single parents, even same sex couples, portrayed in a positive light on TV.  
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I find it really hard to swallow that there are many comments on this page that clearly discriminate against a certain niche of people but the comments are followed by “no offence meant”  “but I am not discriminatory”.  I really think that it is the same thing as saying black people are N…….. but no offense meant.  IT IS OFFENSIVE  and RUDE and MEAN.  People are people.  Btw – everyone is ridiculed in school for all sorts of things and kids can be mean but it is up to the parents to teach their child the right way to deal with ridicule.  If we provide our children with self-esteem from a young age (no matter what) they will be ok.  Oh, and have any of you walked your kids to school in pajama pants (I have seen that lots and think it is much more embarrassing than having gay parents)  Some of you need to leap into 2007 and don’t look back!
I agree with AndiJ78 in that I am physically sick to my stomach right now. I am very SAD that there are so many people out there (who are raising children) who are still so closed minded.
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127124 tn?1326739035
I did not say a gay couple couldn't understand a straight child or vice versa.  I said my only experience was with one lesbian couple who pointed out cute girls to their 13 year old daughter.  I felt it was wrong just as I felt it was wrong for any parent to point people out to their child.  
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PS. how do kids LEARN to ridicule??????????????
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164559 tn?1233711618
Why even start this post?  This forum is for woman who have questions about health issues.  Not a place to start a row.

What does it matter what I think anyhow?
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167 tn?1374177417
This is why I said "To each his (or her) own". I don't have a problem with gay couples raising a child in a loving fashion anymore than I do a hetero couple raising a child in a loving fashion. That was what the question was and I answered it. As a sidenote, not really pertaining to the question, I stated that I'm not convinced that being gay is genetic. Has this been proven either way? No. Genes do play a role in everything, that is right. I'm just not convinced that every man or woman who states they are homosexual had no choice in the matter. I don't have anything against them though. I have a few gay or bi friends who are great!
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167 tn?1374177417
Again, this would have been better for the Women's Community. This isn't really the place for this post. And now I'm mad at myself for stating my opinions here on this topic. This should be taken over there if the discussion is to continue.
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Wow, I actually agree 100% with Andi (that's a first) Lol!!!!
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286776 tn?1268877932
i saw that baby story with 2 moms also..personally its a bit odd but as long as the baby is being taken care of and loved it doesnt matter i think.
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148691 tn?1260198503
*standing ovation to AndiJ*

no one could have said it better! thank you!

now, to the poster: why does it turn you off?? were you turned on??... I just don't get it... it's not about turning people on and off, it's THEIR business, same as your marriage/relationship is YOUR business... no one else...
So, with that said, you could be straighter than a ruler and still have some respect for people who are different than you, same with religion, same with race... it's called D-I-V-E-R-S-I-T-Y.... and you'll need T-O-L-E-R-A-N-C-E to actually live in a peaceful world... like someone said there are wars happening right now because some people are just not opened to that... difference in minds, opinions, religion, beliefs, race.....

It's sad that some people are so judgamental. Specially some 'very religious' people that repeat each sunday "thou shall not judge" yet here they are....
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142722 tn?1281537216
I was not trying to admonish gay people.  I sin every day, I am no better.  In my post I never said they were bad people and they shouldn't have children. I was just stating what I think. The post asked what we thought and I just posted what I thought. Sometimes my words come out wrong.  Sorry if I upset you.  Your a really cool friend  - have a great day
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148691 tn?1260198503
*note: please REread the word 'some' on the last paragraph....
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142722 tn?1281537216
This is one of those subjects like abortion - maybe I should have said wrong for me but if someone else wants to do it fine, I'm ok with that.  If my children ended up gay, I still would think it is wrong, but would love them no matter who they love.
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93532 tn?1349374050
Sorry have2kids, I was mixing your comments with jen's.

Do you feel you chose to be straight? How can you account for children who were not raised around gays or lesbians realizing they are gay at young ages? How do you explain children raised in "good christian homes" being gay? I don't gte how people cannot see the biological link to it.

If someone came on here saying "what does everyone think about single mothers raising kids without a full time father?" Or "What does everyone think about parents who stick their kids in daycare rather than staying at home during the first three years of life?" It would cause an uproar.

And i think it is quite dangerous to make a generalization based on one experience. How do you know they weren't kidding, an inside joke of sorts? My family has a ton of comments we make that would make in uninformed listener really ponder our ability as a parent. When in reality it is a private family joke of sorts.

People in glass houses ladies. Now I really need to close this page. I have kids to get ready, Jonathan is going to be signing the national anthem for the Veteran's Day assembly at school. Now bad for a 5 year old : )
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142722 tn?1281537216
Crazy post right.  I should have keep my mouth or keyborad out of this one.  I am just so bad at expressing myself in words.  I'm out on this - like you said to each his own and none of my business.  How are you doing.  I'll send you a mess.
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127124 tn?1326739035
It's very possible it was an inside joke between the parents and child.  A question was asked I gave my opinion based on one experience, I also  stated I should try to be more openmined.   I never said I was right.  
I think I'm done on here for the day.   Wish I would never have even responded to the post at all.
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167 tn?1374177417
When someone asks a question about "What do you think...?" it opens the door for just that-an opinion. Mine is no more right or wrong than anyone elses here. I have a very open mind and am not against gay, black, single parenting, abortion, you name it. I stick with what I find right for my life and appreciating differences for other people in their lives. It's not a black or white, right or wrong question and I say I am not convinced, not that I don't believe it. I don't want to get away from the subject here though. I answered the original question and I'm leaving it at that.
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161782 tn?1201221532
I have two sets of lesbian couples as friends.  They both have a kid, and they are great and loving people and parents.

I, too, live in California (Bay Area).  Around here it is no big deal.  People are just people.
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93532 tn?1349374050
You are right, this is your opinion. Just as the KKK has their opinion. Free speech doesn't mean it has to be popular speech. Just think of it this way, how would you feel if your child were gay and facing this type of "opinion" on a daily basis?
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93532 tn?1349374050
West Coast here. Maybe that is the difference.
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yah, I am canadian so maybe that makes a difference.
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EH?
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167 tn?1374177417
Midwest here...

You're right Andi, free speech doesn't mean popular speech. If my child was gay, or had a learning disability, or was missing a limb, I would first and foremost love them just the same and second, give them the tools and understanding (as I do now) that everyone is different and some people just don't understand that concept. I teach my kids to appreciate differences in every form.

You would not believe how far I have come from the way I was raised. My family is very, VERY old fashioned and midwestern. I did not realize how much so until I went out into the world and moved to Georgia. Wow...talk about culture shock. I have met some very, very wonderful people who have been black, white, gay, straight and disabled. I am not raising my kids the way I was raised.
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246850 tn?1246163948
Everyone- I was only asking how people felt, and not to judge or give my opinion. Yes the show turned me off, but im not saying it was because  i hate gay people or anything. I have vistited with the moms in kennedy's class and have no problem with them. Notice this is why i didnt state above how i felt? It does say in the bible that homosexuality is wrong. Yes, so is audultry. Every sin other than blastomy of the holy spirit can be forgiven.
I was looking more for people to explain to me how i can better understand. I have never delt with anything like this.
Thanks again for all your responses and opinions. I relize this would have been better on the womens community form, but alot of you dont go over there and i look forward to everyones opinion.
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134578 tn?1483549754
My sister is a lesbian and she and her partner have two sons.  The boys are  biologically half-brothers, and one is the son of one woman and the other is the son of the other woman (biologically) though they both adopted the other's baby, also.  Their biological father is actively in their lives.  The boys are 15 and 18 now, and the best- raised, most well-balanced young men I have ever met.

My father was worried when they first decided to get pregnant.  He thought it was asking for hardship for the childrens, teasing, and all.  But it hasn't turned out that way.  There were other parents in their school who were same-sex couples, and the boys were just such happy and nice kids that they didn't draw that kind of stuff.  Also, of course, times have changed, as other posters have said.  People all over are getting more used to the fact that gays and lesbians exist.

A funny one was when my sister wanted their oldest boy to understand that men pee differently in the toilet than women do (when her son was about age 1).  She was concerned to find some role models for her son to see, so she mentioned it to our stepdad and the boys' daddy and my husband and some other guys in the kids' lives.  When my stepdad had to pee the next time, he laughed and said "It's showtime" and took the boy into the loo with him.  

I guess what I'm saying is that in my experience, being raised by two caring mommies is a great thing, and the same-sex parent mommies I know are so up on everything and careful and seem to have succeeded wildly.  If having wonderful children who have grown into wonderful young men how to judge, they did it right.
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I find your storey truly inspirational and I thank you for it.  I think it is just what this discussion needed (from both sides).
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Oh, man, I can't believe I'm going to get into this, but i can't resist. Let me start out by saying that I have many gay friends in my life, whom I love. The best man at our wedding was gay and I have (now and in the past) gay employees and coworkers. I love them and who they are. I appreciate their perspective and respect their opinions, feelings and everything about them. That being said, I do not believe that a gay lifestyle is what God intended for us. However, I don't feel that it is any different than the rest of us who struggle in other areas or are predisposed to other behaviors that are not good. We all have struggles, but God loves all of us equally and we are all created in his image. Unlike some mis-directed Bible beaters, I do not believe God condemns people just because of their alternative lifestyle, but I also don't believe it makes him happy either.

Okay, so now that you know my core belief on this, I have also been turned off by watching same-sex couples on this show. However, I do think that these kids do grow up in as a loving and supportive environment as kids from hetero families. My concern is that all kids need both a positive female and male infuence in their lives, which they can also get from responsible relatives and close friends of the family.

I am totally against prejudice in any way. People are people and deserve respect and love. My concern is that we are normalizing in society something that really isn't natural or what was in the grand plan for procreation. If we were not in the age of medicine or technology that we are in today, procreation would not occur for these couples. I am also concerned with the (few and radical) couples that have an agenda and push it on their children. There is also the matter of the kid feeling different from their friends, but that is probably minimal if they have a good supportive family.

I wish the best of luck to all families, hetero or not. Remember to always love and respect a person whether or not you agree with what they do. A person and their actions are two separate things. You can disagree with actions and still accept the person.
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148691 tn?1260198503
Represent: East Coast!! (and south of the border!! he he!)
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148691 tn?1260198503
Represent: East Coast!! (and south of the border!! he he!)
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148691 tn?1260198503
then again..... that is written in the bible of YOUR religion....
maybe the rest of us mortal will be saved by another loving God that forgives and loves ALL his  children no matter what sex they feel preference to.

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good point!
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156876 tn?1218634948
OHIO-  Midwest, baby!
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148691 tn?1260198503
I used to live very near Ohio!!! (around Pittsburgh) and I love it!! such nice state!!!
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156876 tn?1218634948
It is and the cost of living isn't bad either!!!  
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148691 tn?1260198503
oh heck no! we were looking to buy around that area and we found a fixer upper for like $40K!!!
Then dh found a better job and we relocated to the Baltimore area and cost of living is INSANE here... that's why we stayed in PA and (do what most people around here do) work in Maryland! he he he... that's called cheating! ;)
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118225 tn?1278658540
Well, this is my first time posting a thread like this...but this is a matter that hits close to home in different ways.  First, i just want it to be known, that my brother is as gay as they come...Ilove him with all of my heart and he is my best friend....when he and his partner and a commitment ceremony YEARS ago, I even stood as my brother maid of honor(hehehe).....I whole heartedly embrace gay people, I feel if they personally feel (just as a straight person or anyone else) that they are ready to raise children, then more power to them...they should notbe deprived the greatest joy in life because of their sexual preference...ir someone said to me I was unble to experience life to the fullest because I prefered men, i would see that as giant injustice.

Now, the other side...my husbands ex wife is a lesbian, and she and her partner raise my husband 8 year old daughter.  These woman have an opnion that men are not only bad people in general, but that they have no place in womans life...they even spell woman WOMYN as to exclude the "man" from it.....my husbands daughter has told him before "mommy told me I am never allowed to bring boys home or have a boyfriend"....I am sorry....this is WRONG.  I dont raise my children showing them playboy or things like that to ensure they are straight...I dont feel anyone should be raised this way...this is just my opnion though
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167 tn?1374177417
Well put!
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156876 tn?1218634948
You can get a lot of house for that amount of money and have plenty of money left to rehab.  We'll be looking to build in the coming years.  Dh wants to move further down south where there is more of a latino community.  I'm comfortable here plus.... that cost of living factor.  I have a few friends that live in Maryland and VA but work in DC.  I understand the pain.
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Let's find a better and less controversial subject to discuss.  Everyone will keep believing what they believe in.  I personally do not care who raises the child.  Whether you're a straight or a homosexual couple, as long as you don't have your tongues down each other's throats right in front of me (or my children) I'm cool with either.  
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246850 tn?1246163948
Just outa curiosity. (and i was really not starting anything here only stating i dont understand becasue its not common where i live) What are the ten commanments in your bible? As far as i know Christians and any other religion Who worships god all have the same bible?
I was not condeming anyone! I clearly stated i do not understand and was looking for support to help me to do so. As i said above we are all sinners and there is only one unfirgiven sin. Being gay was not that sin!
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246850 tn?1246163948
Are you gunna tell me what questions i can and cannot post? Im pretty sure you dont have that power. I was being nice and not critzing ANYONE. I was asking opinions on something i am dealing with in my life that i have never experianced. Thank you.
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142722 tn?1281537216
Well put about the bible.  God does loves us all.  He may not be happy with what we do, but no one is perfect - only he is.  What a great post.
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148691 tn?1260198503
Well, if you were not starting anything, then don't start it now dear.

I decide NOT to answer to your 'religious' question, since ONCE again, people's business, religions, beliefs, races and preferences are their own... so, with that said, my religion and its 10 or 24 or 569 commandments are NOT of your business.

Hunny, open your eyes... not everyone in this world is christian and has a bible.

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tmv
I totally agree with your commment, just couldn't get it into words. I will not and do not judge people. I have known many gays and treat them no differently than any other person. However, it is not my personal choice. One couple in particular is having a terrible time with their son. Teenage years are difficult enough for him. He was taught with self-esteem, etc. Still, it's a confusing time for him. There is so much more that I could explain here, but with time restraints and typing it is not possible. Now I feel people judging me for what I feel.

So many things are normalized these days. I choose not to participate them. Cable tv has been off for over 6 months bc there just is very little that I feel is worth watching. Curse words are the "normal", but not in my home. Our teenagers are not just going and having sex with bf's, the popular thing to do is just go and "hang out", having sex and having multiple partners. The values system is going by the wayside. That is how I feel, but I can be open-minded and try to understand. I know that 4 of the gays that I know were molested by the oposite sex. I also know that many are not and it could be genetic. That is not for me to argue.

I have to agree a little with everyone's comments here. Raised in a Christian home, I totally get Jenshim's thoughts and kristiana's. I also understand the others comments that were stated about the child getting love and support from 2 same sex parents being better than 2 unhappy ones.Maybe I didn't understand the OP question.
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118225 tn?1278658540
Keep in mind I am saying this as a person  who has nothing against people and belives in them raising children and all that, as I said in my post above....I dont really feel there is anything wrong with the question you asked.....if you have enever been around that situation, or really had the oppurtunity to know first hand that gay people are no different then you...I wouldnt thinkl its right to chastize you for wanting to know more about the lifestyle...i guess instaed of critisizing someone could ask if you would be willing to have different opnions if you were shown sides to it that you didnt know about...ya know?
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142722 tn?1281537216
Do you guys think this one will hit the 100 post mark????????
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You asked "does anyone have an opinion about this?"  Well, you're the one who opened the can of worms so don't do it if you can't take it.  You got turned off by that episode, so I suggest you don't watch it anymore.  Apparently you have way too much time on your hands to be posting posts that are irrelevant to MOTHER AND CHILD and watching TLC.
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156876 tn?1218634948
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!  What is everyone planning to do this weekend?  Me.... my son has a soccer banquet tomorrow....  I went to Benihana's for lunch today and it was GREAT!
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I personally loved this post more than any other and have never been on the women's forum so I would have missed out.  I think it is great that you posted it, however much I disagree with you.  Obviously, many other participants agree with you.  Who cares where you posted?
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167 tn?1374177417
Oh goodness...

I'm trying to drag Ben out for a date tonight. That is, if I can get my teen daughters to watch the baby for a bit. They always want to do things with friends now. Tomorrow, catching up on housework and having dinner with Dad. Sunday, hopefully painting a room in my house and having a nice, sit down family dinner with the seven of us. Well, Brody will be in his bouncy seat, watching us eat and will probably (as usual) be the center of attention while we eat dinner (: I love our dinners because we always sit and ask "What was the high and low part of your day?" I started this about six or seven years ago and it has really stuck at the dinner table. Everybody has to stay at the table until we have all had our turn.
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246850 tn?1246163948
yup and i was aking for opinions on my situation not your opinion on wheather or not i should ask that question. If you dont want in it than get out.
vsentz- hos does know to feel where you will be spending eternity?
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So many things to do over the weekend, so little time (as usual).  We're going out with friends tomorrow to celebrate my b-day.  Can't wait to see them.  Sunday-shopping, cleaning, the usual.  Oh, and I might watch some TLC programs if I have free time.  Keeping my fingers crossed I don't see any homosexuals on there ;)))
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148691 tn?1260198503
he he he... aren't you just somethin'!...
ok... i don't give two rats behinds if you ask questions or not... (you see the lack of understanding you have??), you asked EVERYONE for an opinion... there it was.
Honey, I ain't goin' nowhere....

and the last one you really made me giggle with that one!! then again, I understand who that comes from, and the answer is:
maybe I'll be spending eternity 'slooooow cookin' downstairs baby!!! oh yeah!  with aaaall my friends, partying and riding VIP in the human roaster!!! I got plenty of juice in here darlin'!

that was a good one...
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156876 tn?1218634948
I love family dinner time also!  That's when Bryce tells what he did in circle time at school and who his friends are for the day (they change by the week).  My mom called and VOLUNTEERED her services so DH and I could have free time.  I almost passed out at my desk!  LOL!  
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FUNNY - lol
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156876 tn?1218634948
Don't get me started on TV!!!!  I am addicted to HGTV and thank goodness for DVR.  I still have to watch Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty... but that has a 'transsexual'... uh oh!!!  LOL!  Just making light :)  !!!
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I second the standing O to AndiJ! Andi, you articulated yourself very well as always.  

I, too, am horrified at the ignorance, arrogance and close-mindedness of so many of the members here.

Very, very sad.
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127529 tn?1331844380
I want to write something but can't for the life of me put any words together really.
I think I just have to say I think Newbie's post more or less expresses how I feel.

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who is newbie?  I wanna see who you relate to?
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93532 tn?1349374050
So who wants to see a really grainy video of my 5 year old signing the Star Spangled Banner with his Kindergarten class? He is the kid in stripes, the row standing, towards the middle. He is very enthusiastic about it!!

http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y136/AndiJ1978/?action=view&current=BubSchool013.flv

Off to go have lunch with Jonathan at school!

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167 tn?1374177417
Ignorance and arrogance is when you can't appreciate others opinions! Not everyone has the same views, and unless you are ridiculing someone else for their race, sexual orientation or abilities, it is beautiful to see how different we can all be. You simply cannot argue an opinion! It is arrogant when someone thinks their opinion is right and nobody elses is! Aside from a few ugly comments towards the end of this post, nobody has really said anything bad.
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142722 tn?1281537216
I really should be working but am so drawn to this post.  My gosh I just keeping checkign to see what comes next he he!!
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tmv
I agree. We all have our differences and that's why this is a great site. I think it was handled well, too.
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167 tn?1374177417
Very cute video! It gave me the chills (:
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156876 tn?1218634948
..... almost to 100!!!!
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167 tn?1374177417
I'm at work, too ;) Shame on me...
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142722 tn?1281537216
You know how it is when you have the posts that you just check on here and there.  My boss is away and no one is in the office - just like every other day.  What is a girl to do :-)  
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One problem with two gay people having children is that in most states gay marriage is illegal.  So the children can't receive health insurance or other benefits from the non-biological parent.  How about legalizing gay marriage, so that more children can have the resources they require?  
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It is legal here in Canada and we all get free health no matter married or not.  Wow, I am surprised by Tia's post.  
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Great idea Tia
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208686 tn?1293034103
It's really sad that this is still an issue. Just like Bi-racial.. GET OVER IT ALL READY!!!! It is the people like the ones with the negative view points that make it so bad for ANYONE ELSE WHO IS *DIFFERENT*, and shall we take a look a suicide rates today? And IF only we could bring those people back and ask them why they felt they had to give up their lives before facing people in this world with the *way* they were!!!!

Love is love and I don't think in the definition of love is the word CONDITIONAL!

And, another point I might add, many of us on here have become very good cyber friends with lots of others, gave support like no other, have gone through so many of the same issues, and yet, what if one day... long after you have shared lots and lots of tears with the others.. WHAT IF.. you found out that there was no *DH*.. but instead DW of some of the most precious, most understanding, most supportive, most loving of the *GIRL friends* we have made on here?

Why must we still live in a world where some people claim to be Christians and do the one thing that their so called God is against.....JUDGMENT???

I don't understand it!
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Question - if two homosexual people are not married can they adopt the child to make their own and would the child then receive health care then?  Just wondering cause things are so different here.
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tmv
Super cute video! I always love to hear kids sing and Wow, what good signing they did. I am a little rusty on it. Good reminder to keep up with it. Thanks for sharing that with us.
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Yup, here in canada we have legalized gay marriages and we have 1 year mat leave. Top that!!! Serioursly, it's a wonderful country that celebrates diversity.
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171768 tn?1324233699
too many posts to read... not enough time... but i made it halfway down.
all i can say is that the posters who are against it remind me of my grandmother... and she is so closed minded and intolerant that her grandkids often hide stuff from her (i lived with my bf for years and never told her). she also uses the Bible as a guide (although i would call it an excuse) for her views. i am also an east-coaster and was surprised to see this post even started. but i guess a lot has to do with where you grow up. reminds me of the christianity post on the woman's community- i was amazed that so many women said they didn't believe in evolution, but if you scroll over their names you are almost guaranteed to see they are from the midwest. *** please please please don't accuse me of generalizing- i realize that not all midwesterners are close-minded, and i am sure plenty of east and west coasters have more "traditional" views on life- i'm just basing this on what i've seen at a glance on this forum***

i know there are people out there who feel this way. how else would Bush have been elected?? (haha. just kidding. that's a whole other can of worms that shouldn't be opened here). i guess i'm just disappointed to see so many people in my generation think this way. i always assumed it was my grandma's generation.

that being said, i am proud to say we're changing the next generation. as an early childhood educator i am trained to, and required, to teach about tolerance and diversity, including the fact that all families are different, and that some kids have 2 mommies or 2 daddies. so i guess to some of you, i'm corrupting the future generations???  the only other thought i have is that there are so many children out there who need loving homes. is it better that they stay in the system than be raised by a loving couple?
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142722 tn?1281537216
That's strange.  When I apply for health insurance for myself and my two chidren - government and work. I was asked if I was married and I'm not and they never asked if I had a partner and it was not an issue for me to be covered.  I didn't know.  
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I think that Tia (and correct me if I am wrong) was saying that they won't be able to be covered under the non-biological parent (if the child has two dads and one is biological, the other has good coverage, the child wouldn't be covered???)  I am shocked by this as well
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93532 tn?1349374050
Dang, the video didn't encode completely. I am re-uploading it again. I went to the parent lunch (his class earned it with good behavior) and I left with a dozen email addy's from parent's wanting the link : )

When I get it fixed, I will post it again.

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167 tn?1374177417
Andi, the link didn't work for me, either but I searched photobucket, using andij1978 and it brought me to your album.
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167 tn?1374177417
I SWEAR I only pressed it once! Then, I checked and it didn't post so I tried again ONCE. Anybody else having problems with MedHelp?
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172826 tn?1423426556
CYW
wow who would of thought this would of got ooo many responses in one day..amazing ladies:)
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93532 tn?1349374050
Here is a better link, the other one was poopy I think.


http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y136/AndiJ1978/?action=view&current=BubSchool013-1.flv

MH has had a day.
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221025 tn?1332558946
Just for interest's sake...... What exactly don't you "beleive in"?  It sounds to me as if you are a positive person with an open mind.  What is it you don't "believe in?

This was your response to me and I'm afraid I don't understand the question?  I was replying to the original post that only asked what we thought about the issue - there is a lot I disagree with and don't believe is the right way for people to lead their lives, but that wasn't the point of the post.  
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I really can't add anything here b/c everyone has already said everything abt this subject.  I just felt like posting here.  Drinking my morning coffee and looking for some interesting posts to give some of my wisdom too.  Hope you all are having a great weekend so far!  
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233562 tn?1282771982
I think that what other people do in their bedroom is none of my business nor anyone elses. I really get mad when people laugh at or talk about Gay individuals because they are no different for anyone whom is Straight. I think about it as how would people feel if the roles were reversed and Straight people couldn't get married or were criticized for being Straight. Why do we care what gender people are attracted to? Are they hurting you by liking another woman or another man...NO! I think people should mind their business and if they don't like what they see then don't look. I also believe that people are born gay, its not a learned thing. Just like we are born straight, gay people are born gay. A lot of people go by what the bible says is worng, etc. but you can't just look at that, the truth is you need to look at genetics...they can't help being attracted to the same sex. I think that if a child has Gay parents they are more likely to grow up non-bias and very open-minded. Also a lot of times that child ends up being straight which goes to show you don't learn to be gay. I think people need to wake up and except everyone for who they are and don't worry about what they do behind close doors. We all breathe the same and eat the same **** the same why should a sexual orientation be a problem?

Sorry I can't stand when people are talked about because of their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. My grandfather is gay and so this is a very touchy subject for me. Not to mention I am a black woman who has been discriminated against many times so I know how gay people must feel when its done to them.

Just had to vent, if I offended anyone I am sorry.
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151154 tn?1208134182
I think that love and happiness are two very hard things to find.  Or should I say true love and happiness?  I think that if you find the person, whether they are the same sex or not, that makes you happy then go for it.  My cousin recently told every one that she is gay and was so afraid what people would think.  She admitted that she was so ashamed she was even thinking about suicide.  That is terrible that anyone should have to go through that because of a sexual preference.  Maybe my state of mind is different also because of where I live but I think that I would rather see two women or two men raising a child than an abusive heterosexual couple.  Trust me when I tell you I know plenty of lesbian couples more capable of being better parents than many of the "straight" couples I know. Just think about if it where you.  If you suddenly woke up and discovered that the feeling you had all your life about something not being right was that you were gay, would you want people judging you?  I don't think its a choice to be gay.  Down here they actually offer health insurance to "lifetime" partners.  Like I said, maybe its just more excepted here.
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286776 tn?1268877932
Ok i personally dont believe people are born gay..doesnt the bible say being gay is a sin(sorry ive never read the bible-dont attack me) So i dont understand why ppl would be born gay. And i agree with ashleigh...WHo cares if someones gay its not effecting you in anyway!
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175662 tn?1282217256
I finally got a chance to check this post out... personally I know many gay couples.  I know men who want to raise a child, men who have raised a child, women who used IVF to get pregnant, and women who want a child.  In fact, one of my best friends (she takes care of Nadezdha while I am working), is gay.  She wants a child of her own but knows that right now isn't the time (financially,etc).  Personally growing up in a major city, having many gay friends, and having traveled across the USA... My company offers "life partners" insurance, only if they are of the same sex (they assume a life partner of the opposite sex will be a spouse)....  I have to feel this way (This is only based on my own experience)....

Statistically Gay "couples" often have more loving and stable relationships than most hetrosexual's and tend to be a little more financially stable at an earlier age.  They desire a child and want to have a family and everything that normal "couples" want, just because of their sexual orientation doesn't take them out of the loop of being human.  Who are we to tell someone whom to and whom not to love?  We aren't God's, we have no right to judge, period.  We should stop worrying about other people in such a manner and focus more on ourselves and who we are, and how we can make ourselves better people.   And our children are lucky to be loved and wanted, and any child that is loved and wanted before they are conceived/adopted/etc, they are damn lucky and I'm happy for that family.

As long as a child is provided for, loved, cared for, and treated well then who are we to say anything?  I guess that is my point... there are so many children out there who were unwanted/abused and burdened with things they never should have been... let them be happy and live in a loving family home.  Even if it isn't the ideal "traditional" type, how many people live lives that are totally traditional these days?  Who is to say that such traditionality is the best thing for anyone?  

Just my opinion and feelings, go ahead and light me up if you must...
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15031 tn?1219072889
you know, i was raised a southern baptist....i was raised that saying "butt" or pickin your nose was a sure fire ticket to Hades. isnt that funny? (sad actually) my family would literally try to "scare the hell out of you" if you were naughty. no drinking, no smoking, no cussing, no interracial marriages or dating, no nothing. what a sad sheltered life i had to lead.

i am a police officer now, married to one as well, in a city which recruits minorities of all descriptions and is VERY tolerable of everyone - it is AWESOME - esp for TN. One of my dearest sgt's is a lesbian and getting to know her, and learn about her, and see the wonderful loving person she is, changed my whole perspective.

my husbands sister married an african american man from south america and they have the only neice and nephew i have ever had in my life.

i was raised that this is wrong too -  but i am so thankful that God brought these people into my life, because it has made me a stronger, more confident, and better woman to have known them.

i see so much horror from day to day and i praise anyone of any gender or any color that is willing to have a child and love it and care for it and southern baptist or not, i am FOR it!

ok - thats my 2 cents lol!!!

:-)
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118225 tn?1278658540
I have posted above but just want to make a comment about the genetics part.  As I said, i have a gay brother...and as matter of fact, my father has a sister and a brother, and all 3 of them have a gay child., including my brother.  I didnt wake up one morning and decide i liked men.  Its just what feels natural to me...I have asked my brother about this many times...and his answer was this" if I could choose to live a life without all the negativity, all the people hating me for what i am, and everything like that, why wouldnt i choose that life?"  meaning he didnt choose to be gay....just as i didnt choose to be straight...they cant change it, even if they wanted to....I could never force myself to be a lesbian.....just my opnion
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286776 tn?1268877932
Ive heard gay ppl say that too...Why would they choose to be gay and go through all of this...but i just cant seem to think they were born that way..im prob wrong but thats my opinion.
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another cali girl here where certain things arent a big deal anymore, well to most.  daprincess i think if you really want to try to understand, you have to look within and see why it bothers you so much.  was it how you were raised? do you live in a state where its not "common" as others?  i think when (and this is my little ol opinion) we find such dislike, or hatred or nonunderstanding we have to figure out why it scares us so much.  i think in this day and age its pretty amazing we still have issues of anti gay, racial, fear.  i can honestly say if my child tells me some day they are gay i would be upset for them for the problems they will have to face along the way, but will love them every bit as much as before i knew.  if you truely want to learn so you can understand and come to terms with accepting, i applaud you for giving that open mind a willing try!
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173939 tn?1333221450
Even though I do believe that it is great for children to have a female and a male "role model" in their lives, I much more agree with previous comments that a loving stable relationship between same sex partners is a better role model than a hetero marriage gone bad. I have seen a lesbian couple with twins by a gay sperm donor who is nicely involved as a "real" dad who just happens to live with another man in a different house. The twins are happy campers. I have also seen a lesbian couple on their way to conception via anonymous sperm donor that totally resents and ridicules men. The latter situation sounds worrisome for the child - but then again - there are lots of heterosexual marriages where one partner ridicules the other and distorts the image a child will have of his own or the opposite sex. There is a lot of good intentions out there but also a lot of miseducation on both sides of the spectrum. Stability, love and reliability may be all that matters to the child, no matter who provides it.
And genetics? Heck, sometimes I wish I were gay so I would not have to deal with male expectations of being some miracle between Madonna, ***** and homemaker. But I could never get myself to wanting to be physically close to women. The majority of my male gay friends reported that they were never able to get themselves to get close to girls to begin with and only two of them were previously married and only dared to give in to their true colors after the kids were gown and midlife crisis dawning on them. Some of these friends stem from large families with about 10 siblings and mentioned that a bunch of their brothers were gay as well. My son is left-handed and I did come across some statistics that the genes - or hormonal influences during pregnancy - for left-handedness often co-incide with homosexuality. The way he takes care of stuffed animals and baby dolls and real babies now makes me rest assured that he would be a great parent later on, same sex or not.
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I THINK AS LONG AS THEY ARE HAPPY TO BE TOGETHER THEN THERE SHOULDNT BE A PROBLEM. BUT SAME SEX PRENTS NEED TO THINK ABOUT HOW THAT MAY HAVE AN AFFECT ON  THE CHILD. RATHER THE CHILD WILL GROW UP TO BE MADE FUN OF IN SCHOOL.IM SURE THE CHILD WILL BE CONFUSED, CAUSE HOW WILL THE CHILD KNOW TO CALL THE PARENTS. WHOS THE MOM OR WHOS THE DAD.
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93532 tn?1349374050
I have three, no four moms. My birth mom (who died in 2003), my step-mom (who married my dad when I was 5), my adoptive mother (who took me in as a teenager), and my mother in law. I also had a parade of "uncles" thanks to my birth mother sleeping with everyone with a penis and a pulse. that was far more confusing than having 2 mommies or two daddies : )
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Why would the children be ridiculed unless the other kids at school were taught by their closed minded self righteous parents that gay is wrong? Where are your values? Who are you to judge? Let he who is without sin cast the first bloody stone....
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171768 tn?1324233699
baby vol-   just wanted to say i really enjoyed reading your post and perspective.
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Quite a thread. I haven't chipped in because (aside from 4 kids keeping me busy) as you all know, I think, I'm gay and have been in a relationship with my partner for close to 14 years. I like to think we're doing a good job as parents, but what do I know :)
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THIS IS WRONG YOU SHOULDN"T FORCE A CHILD TO GROW UP A DISTORTED SENSE OF THE WORLD AND FAMILY. YOUR MAKING HER A TARGETFOR MUCH RIDICULE AND I DONT THINK THIS DEVELOPES CHARACTER IT DEVLOPES RESENTMENT!!! WAIT TILL HIGHSCHOOL!
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127529 tn?1331844380
Twiceadopt, I was wondering if you were just sitting back and reading all of this!

Hows baby??
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GOD ISN'T A CLOSE MNDED SELF RIGHTEOUS PARENT. HE LOVES US AND TOLD US NOT TO FOLLOW THIS PATH EVN IF IT FEELS PERFECT AND RIGHT. DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE THAT DON'T FALL OVER TO BELIEVE EVERYWAY IS EQUAL. REMEMBER BUILDING ON THE SAND AND BUILDING IN THE ROCK!!
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she's good, thanks.. crawling, starting solid foods (sort of, she thinks the goal is to get as much in  her hair as possible). otherwise ok, how are you and yours?

the 'funny' thing about this post is that this is the first time, in a long while, i've had to read something like this.
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93532 tn?1349374050
Twiceadopt-Don't you realize you are setting your children up to be disfunctional and ruining their lives.****rolls eyes****  BTW, I am being sarcastic. Bravo to you, despite seeing how people feel, still making others aware of your orientation was a brave thing to do.

Anyone who puts up with the garbage someone of an "alternate" lifestyle endures is bound to be more than capable of instilling a good sense of right and wrong into their children. I hate the word tolerance as it implies we have to simply put up with something rather than embrace it. But we live in a world where tolerance is apparently too hard a concept for people to grasp.

Yet no one thinks twice about someone planning to having a baby with a bf they have been dating for 3 months.

I have a hard time believing any God would create a group of people like this or would embrace a group of people who cast such judgements in His name.

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127529 tn?1331844380
All well thanks!

Sam has just started pulling himself up on the furniture, he's into everything, can't even blink without him getting up to something! Sam is into finger foods right now, doesn't want me feeding him at all!
James is doing good at school and with his new speech therapist he his talking up a storm now; they have raised a question about Autsim/Aspergers so we are waiting for an evaluation on that; if he does have it he is pretty high functioning and the extra thereapy he would qualify for wouldn't be a bad thing for him.

Hope you get your nursing problem sorted out, I responded to your other post, didn't have much advice for you really, I put up with Sam "nipping" for a while, once he really started to bite (to the point of drawing blood!) I gave up!



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this post is still going on?? heres my 2 and only 2 cents.

no1s gonna get anywhere because its a matter of personal thought. ppl say that if a child grows up with same sex parents they will be mad fun of espically in high school....kids today make fun of everyone for everylittle thing they can think of. if a child grows up with a strong moral background and a strong head on their sholders they will overcome what others say. and they will be better because they can overcome what others say. thats what i learned how to do with people and children always saying something about me being both black and white.

and a distorted view of family...what family isnt distorted. ive lived in a distored family (to some) and it only makes a person stronger. distored is what a person thinks....doesnt mean everyone thinks its distored. as long as a child is loved why should anything else matter. there are plently of children that cant be adopted. and there are plently of same sex couples wanting to adopt. im all for it. every child deserves a chance to be loved and be in a loving household. no mater whom it be with.
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my oldest was diagnosed with Asperger's a few years ago.. let me know if you want to chat offline. My 2-yr-old is also in speech therapy. amazing how much good it does.
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127529 tn?1331844380
Yes, that would be really helpful, I don't know anyone with a child with Austim, either in "real life" or online, it would be really nice to have someone with first hand experiecne to ask questions instead of relying on google. I'll put my email addy in my profile. Thanks!
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151154 tn?1208134182
You are exactly right..."what family isn't distorted"  Couldn't agree with you more.  Like I said above I know plenty of "straight" women that should be put on birth control billboards.  As unfit as they come.  As you all know I feel this way about my stepsons mother.  
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15031 tn?1219072889
thanks so much, im honored :-)
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165078 tn?1255610007
Wow, this is a huge post.  I was not going to comment because reading back it manages to insult pretty much everybody.  I am an unmarried mom but my child was very much planned.  I lost my first and had a horrible pregnancy with my dd.  I personally feel that nobody else in this world deserved a baby more then me, married, unmarried or whatever.  That being when I lost a baby and you go through the stage of hating everybody who has healthy babies when you know you would be a better mommy.  Now that she is here I feel completly different.  Anyone who has love to share should be able to become a parent.  Yes, of course people on welfare and drug addi