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246850 tn?1246163948
how do you feel about same sex parents??
I dont want to offend anyone, so i will be careful what i say here. I watched a baby story the other day with 2 women who were having a baby. Honostly...it totally turned me off to the show that i love to watch almost daily. Kennedy has a child in her class with 2 moms as well. In this state, same sex marriage is illegal. I just dont get it. Does anyone else have an opinion? Once again i do not want to offend anyone.
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Page 8 of 8
167 tn?1374177417
I'm at work, too ;) Shame on me...
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142722 tn?1281537216
You know how it is when you have the posts that you just check on here and there.  My boss is away and no one is in the office - just like every other day.  What is a girl to do :-)  
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One problem with two gay people having children is that in most states gay marriage is illegal.  So the children can't receive health insurance or other benefits from the non-biological parent.  How about legalizing gay marriage, so that more children can have the resources they require?  
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It is legal here in Canada and we all get free health no matter married or not.  Wow, I am surprised by Tia's post.  
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Great idea Tia
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208686 tn?1293034103
It's really sad that this is still an issue. Just like Bi-racial.. GET OVER IT ALL READY!!!! It is the people like the ones with the negative view points that make it so bad for ANYONE ELSE WHO IS *DIFFERENT*, and shall we take a look a suicide rates today? And IF only we could bring those people back and ask them why they felt they had to give up their lives before facing people in this world with the *way* they were!!!!

Love is love and I don't think in the definition of love is the word CONDITIONAL!

And, another point I might add, many of us on here have become very good cyber friends with lots of others, gave support like no other, have gone through so many of the same issues, and yet, what if one day... long after you have shared lots and lots of tears with the others.. WHAT IF.. you found out that there was no *DH*.. but instead DW of some of the most precious, most understanding, most supportive, most loving of the *GIRL friends* we have made on here?

Why must we still live in a world where some people claim to be Christians and do the one thing that their so called God is against.....JUDGMENT???

I don't understand it!
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Question - if two homosexual people are not married can they adopt the child to make their own and would the child then receive health care then?  Just wondering cause things are so different here.
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Super cute video! I always love to hear kids sing and Wow, what good signing they did. I am a little rusty on it. Good reminder to keep up with it. Thanks for sharing that with us.
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Yup, here in canada we have legalized gay marriages and we have 1 year mat leave. Top that!!! Serioursly, it's a wonderful country that celebrates diversity.
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171768 tn?1324233699
too many posts to read... not enough time... but i made it halfway down.
all i can say is that the posters who are against it remind me of my grandmother... and she is so closed minded and intolerant that her grandkids often hide stuff from her (i lived with my bf for years and never told her). she also uses the Bible as a guide (although i would call it an excuse) for her views. i am also an east-coaster and was surprised to see this post even started. but i guess a lot has to do with where you grow up. reminds me of the christianity post on the woman's community- i was amazed that so many women said they didn't believe in evolution, but if you scroll over their names you are almost guaranteed to see they are from the midwest. *** please please please don't accuse me of generalizing- i realize that not all midwesterners are close-minded, and i am sure plenty of east and west coasters have more "traditional" views on life- i'm just basing this on what i've seen at a glance on this forum***

i know there are people out there who feel this way. how else would Bush have been elected?? (haha. just kidding. that's a whole other can of worms that shouldn't be opened here). i guess i'm just disappointed to see so many people in my generation think this way. i always assumed it was my grandma's generation.

that being said, i am proud to say we're changing the next generation. as an early childhood educator i am trained to, and required, to teach about tolerance and diversity, including the fact that all families are different, and that some kids have 2 mommies or 2 daddies. so i guess to some of you, i'm corrupting the future generations???  the only other thought i have is that there are so many children out there who need loving homes. is it better that they stay in the system than be raised by a loving couple?
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142722 tn?1281537216
That's strange.  When I apply for health insurance for myself and my two chidren - government and work. I was asked if I was married and I'm not and they never asked if I had a partner and it was not an issue for me to be covered.  I didn't know.  
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I think that Tia (and correct me if I am wrong) was saying that they won't be able to be covered under the non-biological parent (if the child has two dads and one is biological, the other has good coverage, the child wouldn't be covered???)  I am shocked by this as well
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93532 tn?1349374050
Dang, the video didn't encode completely. I am re-uploading it again. I went to the parent lunch (his class earned it with good behavior) and I left with a dozen email addy's from parent's wanting the link : )

When I get it fixed, I will post it again.

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167 tn?1374177417
Andi, the link didn't work for me, either but I searched photobucket, using andij1978 and it brought me to your album.
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167 tn?1374177417
I SWEAR I only pressed it once! Then, I checked and it didn't post so I tried again ONCE. Anybody else having problems with MedHelp?
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172826 tn?1423426556
wow who would of thought this would of got ooo many responses in one day..amazing ladies:)
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93532 tn?1349374050
Here is a better link, the other one was poopy I think.


http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y136/AndiJ1978/?action=view&current=BubSchool013-1.flv

MH has had a day.
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221025 tn?1332558946
Just for interest's sake...... What exactly don't you "beleive in"?  It sounds to me as if you are a positive person with an open mind.  What is it you don't "believe in?

This was your response to me and I'm afraid I don't understand the question?  I was replying to the original post that only asked what we thought about the issue - there is a lot I disagree with and don't believe is the right way for people to lead their lives, but that wasn't the point of the post.  
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I really can't add anything here b/c everyone has already said everything abt this subject.  I just felt like posting here.  Drinking my morning coffee and looking for some interesting posts to give some of my wisdom too.  Hope you all are having a great weekend so far!  
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233562 tn?1282771982
I think that what other people do in their bedroom is none of my business nor anyone elses. I really get mad when people laugh at or talk about Gay individuals because they are no different for anyone whom is Straight. I think about it as how would people feel if the roles were reversed and Straight people couldn't get married or were criticized for being Straight. Why do we care what gender people are attracted to? Are they hurting you by liking another woman or another man...NO! I think people should mind their business and if they don't like what they see then don't look. I also believe that people are born gay, its not a learned thing. Just like we are born straight, gay people are born gay. A lot of people go by what the bible says is worng, etc. but you can't just look at that, the truth is you need to look at genetics...they can't help being attracted to the same sex. I think that if a child has Gay parents they are more likely to grow up non-bias and very open-minded. Also a lot of times that child ends up being straight which goes to show you don't learn to be gay. I think people need to wake up and except everyone for who they are and don't worry about what they do behind close doors. We all breathe the same and eat the same **** the same why should a sexual orientation be a problem?

Sorry I can't stand when people are talked about because of their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. My grandfather is gay and so this is a very touchy subject for me. Not to mention I am a black woman who has been discriminated against many times so I know how gay people must feel when its done to them.

Just had to vent, if I offended anyone I am sorry.
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151154 tn?1208134182
I think that love and happiness are two very hard things to find.  Or should I say true love and happiness?  I think that if you find the person, whether they are the same sex or not, that makes you happy then go for it.  My cousin recently told every one that she is gay and was so afraid what people would think.  She admitted that she was so ashamed she was even thinking about suicide.  That is terrible that anyone should have to go through that because of a sexual preference.  Maybe my state of mind is different also because of where I live but I think that I would rather see two women or two men raising a child than an abusive heterosexual couple.  Trust me when I tell you I know plenty of lesbian couples more capable of being better parents than many of the "straight" couples I know. Just think about if it where you.  If you suddenly woke up and discovered that the feeling you had all your life about something not being right was that you were gay, would you want people judging you?  I don't think its a choice to be gay.  Down here they actually offer health insurance to "lifetime" partners.  Like I said, maybe its just more excepted here.
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286776 tn?1268877932
Ok i personally dont believe people are born gay..doesnt the bible say being gay is a sin(sorry ive never read the bible-dont attack me) So i dont understand why ppl would be born gay. And i agree with ashleigh...WHo cares if someones gay its not effecting you in anyway!
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175662 tn?1282217256
I finally got a chance to check this post out... personally I know many gay couples.  I know men who want to raise a child, men who have raised a child, women who used IVF to get pregnant, and women who want a child.  In fact, one of my best friends (she takes care of Nadezdha while I am working), is gay.  She wants a child of her own but knows that right now isn't the time (financially,etc).  Personally growing up in a major city, having many gay friends, and having traveled across the USA... My company offers "life partners" insurance, only if they are of the same sex (they assume a life partner of the opposite sex will be a spouse)....  I have to feel this way (This is only based on my own experience)....

Statistically Gay "couples" often have more loving and stable relationships than most hetrosexual's and tend to be a little more financially stable at an earlier age.  They desire a child and want to have a family and everything that normal "couples" want, just because of their sexual orientation doesn't take them out of the loop of being human.  Who are we to tell someone whom to and whom not to love?  We aren't God's, we have no right to judge, period.  We should stop worrying about other people in such a manner and focus more on ourselves and who we are, and how we can make ourselves better people.   And our children are lucky to be loved and wanted, and any child that is loved and wanted before they are conceived/adopted/etc, they are damn lucky and I'm happy for that family.

As long as a child is provided for, loved, cared for, and treated well then who are we to say anything?  I guess that is my point... there are so many children out there who were unwanted/abused and burdened with things they never should have been... let them be happy and live in a loving family home.  Even if it isn't the ideal "traditional" type, how many people live lives that are totally traditional these days?  Who is to say that such traditionality is the best thing for anyone?  

Just my opinion and feelings, go ahead and light me up if you must...
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15031 tn?1219072889
you know, i was raised a southern baptist....i was raised that saying "butt" or pickin your nose was a sure fire ticket to Hades. isnt that funny? (sad actually) my family would literally try to "scare the hell out of you" if you were naughty. no drinking, no smoking, no cussing, no interracial marriages or dating, no nothing. what a sad sheltered life i had to lead.

i am a police officer now, married to one as well, in a city which recruits minorities of all descriptions and is VERY tolerable of everyone - it is AWESOME - esp for TN. One of my dearest sgt's is a lesbian and getting to know her, and learn about her, and see the wonderful loving person she is, changed my whole perspective.

my husbands sister married an african american man from south america and they have the only neice and nephew i have ever had in my life.

i was raised that this is wrong too -  but i am so thankful that God brought these people into my life, because it has made me a stronger, more confident, and better woman to have known them.

i see so much horror from day to day and i praise anyone of any gender or any color that is willing to have a child and love it and care for it and southern baptist or not, i am FOR it!

ok - thats my 2 cents lol!!!

:-)
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118225 tn?1278658540
I have posted above but just want to make a comment about the genetics part.  As I said, i have a gay brother...and as matter of fact, my father has a sister and a brother, and all 3 of them have a gay child., including my brother.  I didnt wake up one morning and decide i liked men.  Its just what feels natural to me...I have asked my brother about this many times...and his answer was this" if I could choose to live a life without all the negativity, all the people hating me for what i am, and everything like that, why wouldnt i choose that life?"  meaning he didnt choose to be gay....just as i didnt choose to be straight...they cant change it, even if they wanted to....I could never force myself to be a lesbian.....just my opnion
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286776 tn?1268877932
Ive heard gay ppl say that too...Why would they choose to be gay and go through all of this...but i just cant seem to think they were born that way..im prob wrong but thats my opinion.
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another cali girl here where certain things arent a big deal anymore, well to most.  daprincess i think if you really want to try to understand, you have to look within and see why it bothers you so much.  was it how you were raised? do you live in a state where its not "common" as others?  i think when (and this is my little ol opinion) we find such dislike, or hatred or nonunderstanding we have to figure out why it scares us so much.  i think in this day and age its pretty amazing we still have issues of anti gay, racial, fear.  i can honestly say if my child tells me some day they are gay i would be upset for them for the problems they will have to face along the way, but will love them every bit as much as before i knew.  if you truely want to learn so you can understand and come to terms with accepting, i applaud you for giving that open mind a willing try!
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173939 tn?1333221450
Even though I do believe that it is great for children to have a female and a male "role model" in their lives, I much more agree with previous comments that a loving stable relationship between same sex partners is a better role model than a hetero marriage gone bad. I have seen a lesbian couple with twins by a gay sperm donor who is nicely involved as a "real" dad who just happens to live with another man in a different house. The twins are happy campers. I have also seen a lesbian couple on their way to conception via anonymous sperm donor that totally resents and ridicules men. The latter situation sounds worrisome for the child - but then again - there are lots of heterosexual marriages where one partner ridicules the other and distorts the image a child will have of his own or the opposite sex. There is a lot of good intentions out there but also a lot of miseducation on both sides of the spectrum. Stability, love and reliability may be all that matters to the child, no matter who provides it.
And genetics? Heck, sometimes I wish I were gay so I would not have to deal with male expectations of being some miracle between Madonna, ***** and homemaker. But I could never get myself to wanting to be physically close to women. The majority of my male gay friends reported that they were never able to get themselves to get close to girls to begin with and only two of them were previously married and only dared to give in to their true colors after the kids were gown and midlife crisis dawning on them. Some of these friends stem from large families with about 10 siblings and mentioned that a bunch of their brothers were gay as well. My son is left-handed and I did come across some statistics that the genes - or hormonal influences during pregnancy - for left-handedness often co-incide with homosexuality. The way he takes care of stuffed animals and baby dolls and real babies now makes me rest assured that he would be a great parent later on, same sex or not.
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I THINK AS LONG AS THEY ARE HAPPY TO BE TOGETHER THEN THERE SHOULDNT BE A PROBLEM. BUT SAME SEX PRENTS NEED TO THINK ABOUT HOW THAT MAY HAVE AN AFFECT ON  THE CHILD. RATHER THE CHILD WILL GROW UP TO BE MADE FUN OF IN SCHOOL.IM SURE THE CHILD WILL BE CONFUSED, CAUSE HOW WILL THE CHILD KNOW TO CALL THE PARENTS. WHOS THE MOM OR WHOS THE DAD.
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93532 tn?1349374050
I have three, no four moms. My birth mom (who died in 2003), my step-mom (who married my dad when I was 5), my adoptive mother (who took me in as a teenager), and my mother in law. I also had a parade of "uncles" thanks to my birth mother sleeping with everyone with a penis and a pulse. that was far more confusing than having 2 mommies or two daddies : )
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Why would the children be ridiculed unless the other kids at school were taught by their closed minded self righteous parents that gay is wrong? Where are your values? Who are you to judge? Let he who is without sin cast the first bloody stone....
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171768 tn?1324233699
baby vol-   just wanted to say i really enjoyed reading your post and perspective.
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Quite a thread. I haven't chipped in because (aside from 4 kids keeping me busy) as you all know, I think, I'm gay and have been in a relationship with my partner for close to 14 years. I like to think we're doing a good job as parents, but what do I know :)
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THIS IS WRONG YOU SHOULDN"T FORCE A CHILD TO GROW UP A DISTORTED SENSE OF THE WORLD AND FAMILY. YOUR MAKING HER A TARGETFOR MUCH RIDICULE AND I DONT THINK THIS DEVELOPES CHARACTER IT DEVLOPES RESENTMENT!!! WAIT TILL HIGHSCHOOL!
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127529 tn?1331844380
Twiceadopt, I was wondering if you were just sitting back and reading all of this!

Hows baby??
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GOD ISN'T A CLOSE MNDED SELF RIGHTEOUS PARENT. HE LOVES US AND TOLD US NOT TO FOLLOW THIS PATH EVN IF IT FEELS PERFECT AND RIGHT. DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE THAT DON'T FALL OVER TO BELIEVE EVERYWAY IS EQUAL. REMEMBER BUILDING ON THE SAND AND BUILDING IN THE ROCK!!
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she's good, thanks.. crawling, starting solid foods (sort of, she thinks the goal is to get as much in  her hair as possible). otherwise ok, how are you and yours?

the 'funny' thing about this post is that this is the first time, in a long while, i've had to read something like this.
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93532 tn?1349374050
Twiceadopt-Don't you realize you are setting your children up to be disfunctional and ruining their lives.****rolls eyes****  BTW, I am being sarcastic. Bravo to you, despite seeing how people feel, still making others aware of your orientation was a brave thing to do.

Anyone who puts up with the garbage someone of an "alternate" lifestyle endures is bound to be more than capable of instilling a good sense of right and wrong into their children. I hate the word tolerance as it implies we have to simply put up with something rather than embrace it. But we live in a world where tolerance is apparently too hard a concept for people to grasp.

Yet no one thinks twice about someone planning to having a baby with a bf they have been dating for 3 months.

I have a hard time believing any God would create a group of people like this or would embrace a group of people who cast such judgements in His name.

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127529 tn?1331844380
All well thanks!

Sam has just started pulling himself up on the furniture, he's into everything, can't even blink without him getting up to something! Sam is into finger foods right now, doesn't want me feeding him at all!
James is doing good at school and with his new speech therapist he his talking up a storm now; they have raised a question about Autsim/Aspergers so we are waiting for an evaluation on that; if he does have it he is pretty high functioning and the extra thereapy he would qualify for wouldn't be a bad thing for him.

Hope you get your nursing problem sorted out, I responded to your other post, didn't have much advice for you really, I put up with Sam "nipping" for a while, once he really started to bite (to the point of drawing blood!) I gave up!



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this post is still going on?? heres my 2 and only 2 cents.

no1s gonna get anywhere because its a matter of personal thought. ppl say that if a child grows up with same sex parents they will be mad fun of espically in high school....kids today make fun of everyone for everylittle thing they can think of. if a child grows up with a strong moral background and a strong head on their sholders they will overcome what others say. and they will be better because they can overcome what others say. thats what i learned how to do with people and children always saying something about me being both black and white.

and a distorted view of family...what family isnt distorted. ive lived in a distored family (to some) and it only makes a person stronger. distored is what a person thinks....doesnt mean everyone thinks its distored. as long as a child is loved why should anything else matter. there are plently of children that cant be adopted. and there are plently of same sex couples wanting to adopt. im all for it. every child deserves a chance to be loved and be in a loving household. no mater whom it be with.
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my oldest was diagnosed with Asperger's a few years ago.. let me know if you want to chat offline. My 2-yr-old is also in speech therapy. amazing how much good it does.
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127529 tn?1331844380
Yes, that would be really helpful, I don't know anyone with a child with Austim, either in "real life" or online, it would be really nice to have someone with first hand experiecne to ask questions instead of relying on google. I'll put my email addy in my profile. Thanks!
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151154 tn?1208134182
You are exactly right..."what family isn't distorted"  Couldn't agree with you more.  Like I said above I know plenty of "straight" women that should be put on birth control billboards.  As unfit as they come.  As you all know I feel this way about my stepsons mother.  
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15031 tn?1219072889
thanks so much, im honored :-)
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165078 tn?1255610007
Wow, this is a huge post.  I was not going to comment because reading back it manages to insult pretty much everybody.  I am an unmarried mom but my child was very much planned.  I lost my first and had a horrible pregnancy with my dd.  I personally feel that nobody else in this world deserved a baby more then me, married, unmarried or whatever.  That being when I lost a baby and you go through the stage of hating everybody who has healthy babies when you know you would be a better mommy.  Now that she is here I feel completly different.  Anyone who has love to share should be able to become a parent.  Yes, of course people on welfare and drug addicts should be put on birth control but it will never happen so we just need to pray for those babies and hope they have the best life possible.  I have no intention on getting married.  We both love our dd just as much as married couples and we go to church and we will raise her just the same as we were raised but we are perfectly happy the way things are right now.  60% of marrages end in divorce that is worse on kids then being raised by two homosexual happy loving parents.  If you are married and your husband leaves can you raise your child on your own?  I CAN!  

In the end everyone is entitled to what they believe and what makes them happy.  As long as the child is not being harmed mentally or physically it is not our business.

Happy parenting to all and happy holidays to all you new mommies.  I already did tons of shopping.  she has every toy that is made for a 6-12 month old :)
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93532 tn?1349374050
Actually that statistic isn't true and there are a lot of variables that play into the divorce rate. for instance, a college educated couple has a divorce rate much, much lower than the national average, which is below 50%. The high percentage comes mostly from non-high school graduates getting married and then divorced. Don't believe me? Do some sociology research on the subject.

But the bottom line is a child needs two parents that love them. Marriage adds some stability that living together does not, but to each their own.
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165078 tn?1255610007
A child needs love PERIOD!  My godson's dad died suddenly after a fall.  He was 2 when his dad died and he is now 8.  They were not married and his mom was only 24.  He is at the top of his class in school and the captain of his football team who just won the championship.  He did all this without his dad.  By the way, his mom is not a college graduate she is a dental assistant who makes her ends meet.  Her day consists of getting him to school then going to work to pay for everything he needs herself.  At the end of the day she goes to bed knowing that even though she cannnot be a stay at home mom - she is a single mom who has a son who is doing very well for himself.  He gets all his support from everyone who loves him especially his mom.  Please stop insulting people on here - it really is not needed.  People who feel the need to try to make others look inferior need to take a good look in the mirror.  Something must be lingering under the surface.  

I support everyone, married, unmarried, homosexual, etc.  If you have the love to give then good luck to you!  My personal views on things like Drug Addicts and Welfare Recipients are my personal views.  I may not like them but I pray for their children and hope they can grow into loving adults and not a product of their environment.  I know my daughter gets enough love as so will her brothers or sisters in the future.

I will not be opening this post again.  No need to respond.  Good Luck Everybody and happy holidays.
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93532 tn?1349374050
If my husband died unexpectedly I have provisions provided to me such as life insurance and benefits through his employer as I am his wife. We would be able to live comfortably without me needing to return to work for a long time.  If he were to leave me or I to leave him, I am sure one of my degrees would see me through. There are many provisions and protections granted to a married couple that aren't extended to cohabitating couples. Hence why gay and lesbian couples are fighting so hard for those rights. And I am a major supporter of that movement.

I have known many single moms or women in cohabitating relationships who have not faired as well as you. And it is probably best you do not get married as the highest divorce rates are among those who cohabitated long before getting married. If it works for you that is fine, it is just my personal opinion. My own biological mother shacked up with many different men. Had 2 kids with one of them, never married him, he was never a part of his surviving child's life. My little brother is now 24 and hasn't seen his dad since he was 6. And that brief period of time was cut short because my mother gave him the ultimatum: either he got back with her or he went away, he chose to go away.

And conversely, my grandmother has been with who I call my grandfather for over 40 years. Her abusive husband died, she was left to raise 5 kids ages 6-15 alone. She met gramps (who's wife up and left one day leaving him with 2 kids) and due to the survivor benefits she received when her dh died, they have never gotten married. It works for them. I don't think less of my grandmother for not being married to gramps. I take things on a case by case basis. But my heart aches for the slew of single moms I have met who were duped into believing they were in a solid relationship with men who refused to get married, only to have them up and leave one day.

Oh well, you weren't coming back to read it anyway, right?

So how was everyone's weekend? My 5 year old is out to send us to the poor house! His guest list went from 9 to 16! And that is not including the parents and siblings! I am hoping that not all of them can make it. But of course, planning for them all. The day before his party we are going to bring cupcakes to the school for a mini-celebration. I am making goodie bags for that as well. I feel bad, he has invited all but a few of his classmates! I emailed his teacher and said we might as well invite them all, but with the liability for the gymnastics company, they cannot have more than 20 kids and we have some friends outside of school.

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I actually just read a book called Colour of Love.  It was written by a man lamenting about his childhood back in 1962 (not all that long ago).  He was 12 years old when his white mother fell in love with a black man that resulted in an interracial child.  The courts ended up putting him, at 12 years old, into a foster home claiming his mother was unfit and that he was better off without her.  It amazed me that such prejudice was happening right before my birth and the saddest part is when I see that this same ignorance exists today.  
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i have found that same sex marriages can do wonders for children. statsticaly there are less largescale arguements in samesex marriages and there is also no 'main role' such as the mom feeds and cleans and the dad teaches about churches or whatever, so both parents can be more easily equaly involved with the child.
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