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21 weeks pregnant and don't know what to do.....................................
I am 21 weeks pregnant, and I was involved in a really bad altercation with my husband, on Friday night. I kind of started it, but the end result is that I have a fractured finger which is turning black, he dragged me on the floor, chipped my tooth, bruised my arms really bad, put his knee in my stomach, and I don't know whether or not I should leave him. We have 3 other children together. But I don't think that I can take this anymore. Everytime I look at him these past few days, I just get angry. I made him sleep in his car Friday and Saturday nite, but I felt kinda bad so I let him come back in the house on Sunday nite. He refuses to go for counseling, because this is not the first time something like this has happened. I so confused as to what I should do, I know I should just take my children and leave, but that's so much easier to say than do. Any advice???????????
PLEASE LEAVE!!!!! i cant say who but someone in my immediate family had that happen to them and they got punched in the belly and now their child is handicap, cant walk, talk or nothing, dr said it was caused from the blow to the belly!
Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Even though the kids are not witnessing it, they're exposed to it. Children are generally very sound sleepers, but something about the sound of mom and dad arguing will wake them up in no time.
Hello Everyone,
Thanks so much for all of your comments, concerns, and most importantly your prayers. For the record, NO, the children haven't witnessed any of this. Most of the time they are asleep. I did call my OB doctor today, and I'm going to see her on Monday, and I will discuss everything with her, I PROMISE...
I told it was very important that I needed some referrals. I will let you know what the results are, as well as when I talk to you again, I plan to be gone from this house, and this situation. It's going to be very hard, he's tried apologizing, and being extra nice, but like some of you said previously, I know it's just for now, and that the madness will start again if I stay. Keep me and my children in your prayers, Please. Thank you.
Thanks so much for all of your comments, concerns, and most importantly your prayers. For the record, NO, the children haven't witnessed any of this. Most of the time they are asleep. I did call my OB doctor today, and I'm going to see her on Monday, and I will discuss everything with her, I PROMISE...
I told it was very important that I needed some referrals. I will let you know what the results are, as well as when I talk to you again, I plan to be gone from this house, and this situation. It's going to be very hard, he's tried apologizing, and being extra nice, but like some of you said previously, I know it's just for now, and that the madness will start again if I stay. Keep me and my children in your prayers, Please. Thank you.
I hope that you let us know. I will pray for you. Please leave him. Your children do not need to grow up seeing this. remeber, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Call the police, make a report and leave him. He doesn't deserve you, thie kids, or the new baby.
If he does these things to you now whose saying he wont do it to one of your children or to the baby once she/he is born?
I really hate it when people posts emotionally charged messages and then just bail on us. But, I'll answer anyway. sailors wife and several others made a point that should make you see the big picture- abuse is a cycle, and you are teaching your children that it's okay to treat others and be treated this way. They may not see or hear all of the abuse, but trust me- they know about it. Even rural areas have women's shelters or access to them, and they are not hard to find. Call the police or even your doctor to find out where the nearest one is.
Now, on a personal level, let me say this- it IS hard to leave. You have to "bluff" yourself on this one. Tell yourself that you will be okay, and that leaving is the best thing. There may be a little voice of doubt in your head, but squash it for now. I promise, it will get better, but you have to have the courage to get out.
I really hope you reply and let us know what you decide.
Now, on a personal level, let me say this- it IS hard to leave. You have to "bluff" yourself on this one. Tell yourself that you will be okay, and that leaving is the best thing. There may be a little voice of doubt in your head, but squash it for now. I promise, it will get better, but you have to have the courage to get out.
I really hope you reply and let us know what you decide.
I could be the WV redneck i am and say kick his a## right out of the house, but I know it's not that easy. I am shocked that you'd ask the question weather to leave or not. Everybody on here is going to tell u to leave. It's not right to let anyone put thier hands on you like that. The man that is supposed to love and protect you is hurting you! Do you have anywhere to go? Do your kids see him hurt you? I'm sorry to say,but you are hurting your kids. It's your responsibility to keep them from harm. Does he ever hurt the kids? Yes he does.Do you want you kids to grow up thinking this is normal? they will marry someone just like him. We can't give you any answers that you don't already know deep inside. You know the right thing to do. Do it!! Protect your self and your kids. ARe you in the states? WE have so many programs that can help you. All you have to do is call the police or go to the station. they will give you some info. If you have to , go on welfare. that way you can feed, cloth, nd put a roof over your kids heads. Good luck. I will pray for you.
My father abused my mother from the time I was 5 until 10, when she finally divorced him. I just want to give you this perspective of a child who has gone through these things. I don't know if your children saw him beating you, but if they were at home, they surely had to hear what was going on. A lot of times, for me, growing up, hearing the beatings was worse than seeing them. I didn't know what was going on, didn't know if that time was finally going to be the time he killed her. This is a serious matter. If it were you, by yourself and no kids, it would be bad enough. I am 26 years old and am still dealing with the issues of what my father did to my mother. Imagine being a tiny child, laying in bed, hearing his mother screaming and crying and not being able to do a thing about it. I know that it's easier said than done. If you think about it, you will always give yourself reasons for not leaving. Do not think about. Pack what you can and take the children somewhere safe. Living in a shelter is not a life that anyone wants, but this is about the kids. They are resilient creatures and when they are older they will appreciate that you got them out of the situation. I wish my mother had. Like I said, 20 years later and I can still hear her screams and the images of him beating her. You can do this, you need to. Get to a shelter.
when he's not home.. pack some clothes for everyone and go to a hotel or something. go to ur parents or friends.. somewhere safe.. please! please!
I know its going to be real hard thing to do..but you can do it!!!
you dont want to keep stressing out.. its not healthy for ur unborn child..
PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE SAFE:)
My prayers are with you and ur kids.. and ur unborn child;)
I know its going to be real hard thing to do..but you can do it!!!
you dont want to keep stressing out.. its not healthy for ur unborn child..
PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE SAFE:)
My prayers are with you and ur kids.. and ur unborn child;)
did you call the police? I would get a restraing order on him or something..
if he hits you one time.. he'll do it again.. and then he'll say he's sorry and that he'll never do it again... DONT LISTEN TO THAT!!
I would leave him!!
protect yourself, ur unborn child and ur kids!!
NO GUY IN THE RIGHT MIND SHOULD EVER HIT A FEMALE!!
if he hits you one time.. he'll do it again.. and then he'll say he's sorry and that he'll never do it again... DONT LISTEN TO THAT!!
I would leave him!!
protect yourself, ur unborn child and ur kids!!
NO GUY IN THE RIGHT MIND SHOULD EVER HIT A FEMALE!!
He did all that to you and you don't know whether you should leave him???? GET OUT NOW - If you care about your children and the one you are carrying - YOU WILL GET OUT AND NEVER LOOK BACK. Don't be afraid of raising kids on your own. People do it all the time - There is so much help out there. Stay with family or a battered woman's shelter but GET OUT. I hope you listen to everyone here. Your life and your children's lives are too precious - You don't want kids growing up in that and continue that cycle.
I'm so sorry. I honestly really didn't mean to be that rude and insensitive.
Please get some help...if you're unsure if you want to leave, contact a victim's advocate and schedule a counseling session.
Please get some help...if you're unsure if you want to leave, contact a victim's advocate and schedule a counseling session.
If he cares anything about the baby he would never try to harm it. You should not be putting yourself or your other children through this.
NO BODY is that great a man, husband or father if he treats his wife this way - the woman he is supposed to love and is certainly not worth staying in a marriage for. What makes it worse is that you are currently pregnant with your 4th child!!!! I have had some amazing rows with my DH and we also have 3 children together, and another on the way and I can tell you that if he EVER laid a finger on me - pregnant or not - I would not hesitate to leave or tell him to leave - regardless of how many apologies I got from him afterwards. If you are not careful, your neighbours or friends or relatives, who may be more concerned for your and your children's welfare and in a better position to judge, somebody will tell the authorities and they will make the decision that your children are not safe in your care let alone your husbands. This can happen if you cannot make that judgement call for yourself.
PLEASE make a stand - no ultimatums - This should not be a gray area - it's black and white - this is a SERIOUS CRIME regardless of how much you think or are told that you provoked it. He is responsible for his actions after that and the consequences. This will NOT get better in time it will get WORSE. Leave now ...you came here for this advice and strength because in your heart you know it's what you must do! You can do it alone - women are strong - show your children that you will not tolerate that kind of abuse for them let alone yourself. DO IT!!!!!!
PLEASE make a stand - no ultimatums - This should not be a gray area - it's black and white - this is a SERIOUS CRIME regardless of how much you think or are told that you provoked it. He is responsible for his actions after that and the consequences. This will NOT get better in time it will get WORSE. Leave now ...you came here for this advice and strength because in your heart you know it's what you must do! You can do it alone - women are strong - show your children that you will not tolerate that kind of abuse for them let alone yourself. DO IT!!!!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Leave. If he hits you, he will soon hit on your kids. Do it for them if you can't muster the decision to do it for yourself. Take them out of there and don't look back. Get a good attorney now, and go.
OMG please LEAVE HIM!!
YOUR JOB RIGHT NOW IS TO PROTECT THE PRECIOUS BABY GROWING INSIDE OF YOU, AND YOUR OTHER CHILDREN...
he is a coward who will do it again .... if he can do it while your pregnanct then he will do it anytime
trust me..... your kids will be better off..... and so will you....
i think you shouldnt let him in your house, i dont care if you provoked him...theres no excuse......i dont know how some men are so freakin stupid......i know you are attached emotionally, but how would you feel if he hurt your kids?
YOUR JOB RIGHT NOW IS TO PROTECT THE PRECIOUS BABY GROWING INSIDE OF YOU, AND YOUR OTHER CHILDREN...
he is a coward who will do it again .... if he can do it while your pregnanct then he will do it anytime
trust me..... your kids will be better off..... and so will you....
i think you shouldnt let him in your house, i dont care if you provoked him...theres no excuse......i dont know how some men are so freakin stupid......i know you are attached emotionally, but how would you feel if he hurt your kids?
Ok so you had a fight but hey THE KNEE IN THE STOMACH, no matter how mad he is at you theres no reason for him to go there you mentioned you have other children so I'm sure by now he knows where a baby lives for 40wks in the tum!! I can't figure out the knee in tum deal. You need to think what if I stay with this man & he causes me to go into labor early & causes my baby to die, look at it that way & you don't have to feel so bad looking at your other children when you are packing up their things & leaving or making him leave either way somethings gotta change (I'm not one for divorce but we as mommies have to look out for our children & their well being) I hope you & him can take some space from ea other & get this worked out one way or another but for now he'd be living & sleeping else where.
I mean he tried putting forceful pressure on yalls baby that has no way of protecting itself :(
thats horrible thats like him sitting on one of your other kids. This is not something small. Plus he also hurt you, I'd be scared he'd go for your stomach again or one of the other kids. Thank God he didn't cause you to go into labor.
I mean he tried putting forceful pressure on yalls baby that has no way of protecting itself :(
thats horrible thats like him sitting on one of your other kids. This is not something small. Plus he also hurt you, I'd be scared he'd go for your stomach again or one of the other kids. Thank God he didn't cause you to go into labor.
LEAVE PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE U END UP WITH SOMETHING WORSE THAN A BROKEN FINGER. IF YOU STAY U MAY BE PUTTING YOUR CHILDREN IN DANGER. DON'T FEEL BAD FOR LEAVING HIM. IF HE HAS DONE IT BEFORE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. PLEASE GET OUT WHILE U CAN OR IT WILL BE TOO LATE, AND SOMETHING REALLY BAD MIGHT HAPPEN.
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