27 yr old virign

People say I'm pretty, but I've never had a real boyfriend. A friend of mine wants to have sex with me. (Everyone thinks I have experience). I want to have sex with him, but I'm worried. Will he be able to tell I'm a virgin and will it hurt? I have no one to ask. And I'm so ashamed. All my friends have so much experience and they asume I have to. I'm a private person and do not talk about the miniscule relationships that I have had. Please someone help me. I'm tired of being so insecure. And don't say I have to tell him, I don't think I can.

[Jenni6485]

Its a beautiful thing your 27 and still a virgin. Im sure most women would have loved to waite until marriage. (I sure do!)
If you dont want to lose your virginity to this fella, then dont feel presured. If you tell him your a virgin, he'll want you more... Men love to go somewhere no other man has touched. If you waite until you find 'the one', it will be a beautiful experience. My advice, (as a 20 year old who lost her virginity at 14), would be to save it for someone who DESERVES it. Look at Jessica Simpson... She's GORGIOUS and only ONE man has touched her.. Nick is one proud fella. :-D
Its not so often I 'meet' a girl that stays a virgin after highschool... Usually its long gone. Think of what you have... its something so special. Its nothing to be emberissed of, its something to look up to. Virginity is the most prized posession. Its pure and simple.
Take care
Jen

[maryheather]

I agree with Jen--wait for Mr. Right!  I also was a young girl when I lost my virginity, then got pregnant...and wish every day that I had waited until I met my husband.  What an incredible gift you will be giving yourself by waiting.  Also, your first time is something you will always remember.  Do you really want that to be with someone that you don't have strong feelings for?  I say "hang on and be patient"...waiting is something that I wish I could do all over again.  Good luck! MH

[lisapep]

Take it from someone who has only been with one man.  My husband.. it is a WONDERFUL WONDERFUL THING.  It was so worth the wait.. and it was amazing.  Wait it is a gift.. that should be given away to someone who will treasure it treasure it as much as you have.  If you wait for the right person it will be that much more special.  

Hope that helped
l

[monkeyflower]

Will he be able to tell? Maybe, but probably not. I didn't feel any pain or even discomfort my first time at all, and I'm sure my partner didn't know. But either way, honestly, I don't think it's something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. There isn't anything particularly special about being a virgin or not being a virgin - you just are who you are. I think our culture puts way too much emphasis on virginity - sex is much, much more than just intercourse.

However, you asked for advice. One thing that may help to make things more comfortable for you is to practice a bit beforehand - insert a finger at a time until you approximate the size of a penis, or use a dildo. Also, make sure you're very aroused and well-lubricated first, and always use plenty of waterbased lube, like Astroglide or Probe. Make sure you use a condom, too. But most importantly, try to relax. Don't put so much emphasis on one particular act ;-)

You'll be fine :-)

[fishsq]

I think that waiting for the right moment in life is very important, that doesn't mean that you have to wait till you are married because as mentioned above you are who you are virgin or not.  Waiting for "Mr. Right" also does not mean your husband, I think if means someone that is going to respect you before, during and after sex because one thing is for sure this is a moment you only get once.

Will he know and will it hurt, that depends on you and your body. My first time was extremely painful and I bled a lot! So he knew.  But not everyone is the same.  Getting some practice as suggested above is a good because you'll have a better idea of what to expect.

What ever you decide make sure you do it for you and not for peer preasure or for him.  It is special but what is special about it is, knowing that it is an experience that you will never forget, so make it your experience not someone else's.

Good Luck!

[AnnJ]

I read once that most girls actually break their hymens looonngg before they ever lose their virginity ( pressure from accidents, horse-back riding, sports, bicycles,etc, etc.) Unless you've been extremely inactive since you were a child, it would be unusual to bleed from first-time sex at 27...but possible, I guess. Whatever you decide, though, make sure you've really thought it through.

[jbcstudent]

its fine to be a virgin if your not married, having sex with someone doesn't complet you, or make you more of a women. dont have sex with someone for the wrong reasons.  I made alot of mistakes, and had sex before i got married, and I really really really regret it.  that was the best gift i could have given my husband, but couldn't.  not all of the sex was 'rape' or pushed, but now i have those memories of other men, and not just my husband.  who you are is bueatiful, and wonderful i'm sure, and you should like you'll be able to find a great man to marry and have all the sex in the world with.    enjoy your singlehood!!  :)  have a blast.   -Caring women

[guera82]

well my advise to you is to tell him.... it is a gift and he should be plessured to accept that gift from you. you shouldnt feel embarresed about it... what if he sleeps with you and then it doesnt work out... then he'll never know what you actually gave to him. Right? take you time... and if you cant tell him, then he probabley isnt the right person anyway.