today I get a call from my man's baby mother telling me that he's been threating her potential male friend and how he's be stoking her. When he got home I actually heard him conversating with who I assume to be her on the phone which sorta backs up her story. Now, from what she told me he's still taking care of her and he is also still paying her bills. Mind you he's paying my bills to and also taking care of me. this is a man who is trying to claim to homes. Besides that he's been cheating on me with a 23 year old female as well. HE'S 34 AND I'M 30. God only knows who else. I'm tired and ready to leave but he insist that he's going to change. He lies and cheats all the time, how can I trust him. He brought us a house in my name but we never stay there. that's another issue because once i leave the house will be a problem. I know it sometimes takes time to leave from a long term relationship and know That no one could tell you when to go but I need some type of advise. This happened yesterday and today he thinks that we are suppose to be fine with each other. ANOTHER PROBLEM HE HATES SLEEPING WITH ME WITH A CONDOM. IT'S SCARY! he also has five kids by five different women. I don't have any kids yet but he's really on me to have one.
When yall first met was he like that? If so, u knew what u were getting into before yall started being serious. If u can't put up with his a$$ then u should leave. If he has 5 children with 5 different baby mamas. that was a big sign for u as well. I also wouldn't suggest u being baby mama number 6. Forget the house, afterall it is in your name. Also, that is a place you can go as well to get away frm all that madness. I would suggest leaving atleast for ur sanity. I'm sure that u can do much better than a cheater, you atleast deserve better. I don't understand what u are questioning. If you know that he has cheated before, and he is cheating now, what is it going to take for u to leave. He's prob doing this b/c he knows u are going to be with him no matter what. Don't be nobody's fool, or doormat! You need to upgrade your standards fast. Don't mean to be harsh but I'm just keeping it real.
how come everybody seeems to be taking up 2 hole threads latly i can never get a question in because its always full here and the maternal child whats going on ladies hope nobody takes offence to this i was just noticing.
RUN, do not walk away from this man. I just read your other post about the herpes and now you think you have something else!!! He is spreading disease. I don't know why this man feels the need to spread his seed...five different mother's...seriously. This is the kinda stuff I saw when working with social services. Do yourself a favor and leave this guy, it will only get worse. It sounds like he has proven time and again that he is bad news. I am begging you, I hate when I hear about situations like this. I don't mean to be harsh either, but you would only be doing yourself a favor.
As for the herpes thing, you really need to go to the doctor, especially after hearing about your man. Get tested for EVERYTHING!!!! I think you do need a prescription for Valtrex, but I always see those ads on tv and the internet, so I don't know. Regardless, please see a doctor!!!! Good luck!
So I realize there was no real advise in that last post about the relationship. We need more info from you, sweetheart. Do you have a job? Are you able to support yourself if you left? Do you have other people that can help support you emotionally and possibly financially? Is there any physical or emotioanl abuse? Can you stay in that other house that is in your name or are you renting it out...what's the deal with that?
Leaving a long term relationship like that is going to be hard, there is no question about that, but it sounds like you already have it in your head. You just need to start preparing for it emotionally and financially. Keep us posted!
I respect everyones opinion and thanks for responding. In fact I agree with each and everyone. I guess what's making me stick around is my greed. Sounds sick right, but it's true. Yes I work and I could manage to live a comfortable life style on my own. As far as the house is concerned I would definetly have to sell because there is not way he would leave me alone with the house for another man to live in. I'm sure you guys know what I mean. When I first met him, NO he wasn't like the way he is now. ANd if he was, I didn't know about it. I actually left him previously and was in a 3 year relationship after him and decided to go back to him. Once we got back together I could honestly admit that I haven't been the least bit happy. Like I said and I'm being honest I went back to him for financial sercurity. GREED! I'm not even sexually attacted to him. I guess you weep what you sow. Money changed him alot and I guess me too. Now I'm paying for it. But yes I do love him but no I'm not in love with him. NOW - Here is the thruth....I stay because I tell myself at times that i don't care about the next women and I'm gonna get what I could get and then leave him . Then I think to myself when will I ever get enough. I know i have to walk away and I will. I really need to know what i'm worth and leave this man because it's not right what he's doing and it's not right what I'm doing either. Sometimes when you find a free ride you take it but on the other hand it sucks because You get caught up in the bull s--t. Now I'm being honest with people I don't know only because I need to clear myself from this. From him and also myself. Again, I think it's greed.
also my opinion, leave him before you are stuck dealing with him forever-when he gets you pregnant...my sons dad had a two girlfriends for 6 years....he was never really loyal to either of us...it only broke both of our hearts, hers and mine in the end....and changed us both...and not for the bettter...you should leave him...but thats only my opinion.
i think you already know what to do and what the answer is. you just needed to hear yourself and what it sounds like. re-read your post again and again..you already know whats best.its written right there in black and white.
he is cheating because you are "allowing" him to cheat. allowing meaning staying and not leaving. accepting it when he says i wont do it again. yeah, tell that to the 5 ladies that have children by him. of course he's paying rent to others and giving $ to others, he has to. its called child support and you will never be free of him spending his $/your $ on other woman/kids.
why wouldnt you want to share your life with a man who can give YOU and ONLY you one special gift that no one else shares..a child. he will forever be connected to these other families. do you feel he's all you deserve? theres no one else out there better for you?
whats up with not wearing a condom? clearly he wants you to be #6. if he's not wearing one with you, he's not wearing one with other girls. thats just plain nasty. when you sleep with him, you sleep with "her" too and whoever else she's sleeping with. as you know, there are so many std's out there, infections and dont forget about HIV/AIDS. that didnt go anywhere. no one has to look like that have a disease. you cant tell, they may not know. you need to be responsible for your body and the health of it. you only have one body and one life here. dont mess it up with this guy.
You deserve so much better! You are a special, valuable person. By staying with a guy like that, you're undervaluing yourself! It will be hard to leave and he may try to make you stay, but put your foot down and do what you have to do! I'll be praying for you...
STOP RATIONALIZING your reasons why you are staying with this man. He will never stop cheating on you, he may stop for awhile but as soon as things get back to normal he will start again. You need to understand that unless you are okay with him cheating on you and lying to you its the only way you will be happy. A man with a history like his doesn't change over night. (NO OFFENCE) but what makes you so different from the other women he has been with. I can tell that your hurt and stressed out right now, is being with this man worth your sanity. I know you love him and that may not change for a while but you need to make the effort and leave this man. It may hurt to leave him but staying with him is obviously killing you. I've just come out of a situation EXACTLY like yours be strong and do what you know is right. And GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT.
I wish you the best and i hope you make the right choice
if you wanna talk let me know i'll send you my email.
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