Can't get wet-please help!

[encee6]

I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost five years.  However, for the past few weeks when we have sex it has been really hard for me to stay wet.  I am extremely attracted to him, but I don't know what to do! Sometimes it even hurts to have sex.  It is extremely frustrating and I don't know what to do.

[dandeelyon]

Use a lubricant like KY.

[encee6]

I have used them before but I really hate them, why can't I stay wet during sexual intercourse?? I am only 20years old.

[greenpixie]

I'm not sure there is a good answer to that.  Sometimes it just happens. There is a chance that your hormones could be out of balance, but you would probably notice other symptoms with that. Are you taking a decongestant by chance?  Coffee and alcohol have been reputed to dry you up but I don't really know if that's true.  My only advice is to use a lube or start eating A LOT of flaxseeds.

[encee6]

Thank you for the advice, but what are flaxseeds?? and where would I get them???

[greenpixie]

Flaxseed is just a type of seed.  They are tiny and brown.  They are full of Omega 3 fats, which will help increase your cervical mucus, among other things.  Fatty fish is also high in Omega 3, but I'm vegetarian, which is why I said flaxseeds. :)  You can buy flaxseeds in any healthfood store.  My local healthfood store sells it in bulk for about $1.20/ pound.  You should eat 1-3 TBS/ day.  You can take flaxseed oil caplets, but I've read (in more than one place) that they go rancid quickly, probably by the time you open the bottle.  The same is true for fish oil caplets. You can also start taking Evening Primrose Oil, which is high in Omega 6.  I can't remember all of the science behind Omega fats, but I'm sure you could look it up.  Hope this helps.

[AndiJ.78]

I am not a fan of ky, to gel like for me. But they have a ton of different types out there that are much nicer. I agree that hormones play a huge role in it, are you on any type of birth control? That may have an impact on it. Hydration may as well. You may want to run it by your doctor if it gets too bothersome.

Try the flaxseed, see if it helps : )

Andi

[cgpdc]

ID Glide is a very nice, long-lasting lube. They have several types; one has silicone in it and doubles as massage oil.

You might have to go to a sex shop to get a good selection of lubes. Grocery and drug store selection is pretty lame.

[xrayu2]

KY warming liquid is not bad.  It does not have a gel feel to it.  It is not as thin as water but not as thick as a gel.  It has a nice feel to it.

[niki88]

I'm having the exact problem right now...it's been two months..I'm only 19 ..and i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years...please send me an email at ***@**** if you figured out what the problem was. I am very frustrated

[syrianprincess]

Listen i had the exact same problem for about a year and a half to the point that mysex drive even started to decline.  I strongly advise that anyone with this problem gets an STD test cause it turned out that i had something called mycoplasma genitalia which is basically in the family of clamidia and stops you being able to get wet and enjoy sex.  For a year and a half i thought it was an unsolvable problem.  Its symptomless so don't think you haven't got it.

[DaliaRose]

I am having the same problem! I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and it is extremely frustrating! It hurts me as well.... We used to have sex no less than once a day and it's slowly declining to once every couple days...And whenever I try, its soo hard to get wet even though I'm completely turned on so it ends up burning or hurting me.... This is going to sound dirty but maybe it will help you since you dont like lube either... I find that when I pleasure him orally and make sure to get it really wet with my mouth, it not only helps me to get turned on but also makes it easier for him to slide in without lube.... Please let me know if you find out a way to fix the problem because I have been trying for over 2 months! Im going on birth control in about a week so I will try and let you all know if that helps..... my emal is dalialuuuvsyou  @  yahoo Without the spaces plase let me know!

[annalee0224]

I have been having trouble getting wet also. I am glad to know I'm not the only one frustrated with it. My boyfriend is as well. He thinks I'm not in the mood when I really am. Also he never wants to help get it wet because it never works and he feels like a failure. Is there any way other than a lube that could get me to produce more wetness?

[5HED0P3]

SAME HERE I GET WET BUT NOT FOR LONG I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY AT ALL

[Lissyloo]

i have the same prob sometimes

i read that u need to try to bump up how much h2o ur drinking
have a few more glasses of water during the day see if it helps

im using pre-seed lube sometimes atm beacuse im trying to get preg and thats the only sperm safe lube

[LILSIS_12188]

I have the same problem as the rest of you. I'm 20 almost 21 and I have been with my fiance now for almost 5 years and we have 2 kids. When we have sex I have difficulty getting wet and I'm really upset about it. I don't want him to think that he's not doing something right and when we use lub to me it burns and don't know why we don't use condoms I can't stand them and besides I have that new thing its called the mirena.I really hope that I can get my sex drive back Because it's really upsetting and I think that is one reason me and him fight sometimes.

[chocolatekiss]

im 17 and been with my boyfriend a year and a half....imagine how i feel....17 the same thing happens WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! i used to soak through my pants... and now nothing..it hurts =(

[Mager]

thank you girls so much for being so honest about this stuff- I'm going thru the same thing and it's really scary to think that I'm young (22) and am having this problem with someone I am totally in love with and am just crazy attracted to - I think it's just nerves but if anyone has any other suggestions please let me know! thanks!!!! it's relief not to be alone on this.

[Labadorable]

I've been experiencing this in the past few weeks. Never had this problem before. EVER. Hubby and I have sex regularly and enjoy it. Now it's been weird, we both feel that it's not enjoyable. I cried this morning beause I was so sensitive about it.

Maybe could be an infection? Hormonal imbalance?  But can you get mycoplasma genitalia (even if you are married and have one partner?) I mean there is no one outside of us.

Also I feel like I can't get an orgasm. It's very hard for me to get to that point of climax. Which is also very werid for me too. I never had an issue.


I'm 28, very concerned. Help?

[loveuuforeverdarren]

i carnt believe how many people have the same problem im onli eighteen just turned been with my partner 2years and i carnt get wet at all its never been a problem i used to get scared that i got to wet but now i feel like i never want sex nomor i feel in the mood but just like i carnt be botherd and when i do sumtyms it really hurts ive been to tears its that bad its becomin a real problem to point were were breakin up all the time x

[plb545]

Hi I am 17 and I have the same problem. It is really embarrasing for me and I try to avoid sex as much as possible. I dont know what to do and I dont want to talk to anybody, even my doctor about it because its soo embarrassing. I have had this problem for almost a year now and I dont know what to do. I have been talking to this guy a lot and we really like each other, but I dont want to have sex with him because im scared he is going to think its his fault or think differently of me. I have no idea what to do! help me please

[misawagal]

I am 23 and I am married have been for 2 years, and we have two kids...My husband is in the military and has been gone for two weeks at a school he came back and we were fixing to do the deed and I just couldn't get wet.  I am on a birth control called mirena.  But ever since i have been on it i haven't really had this problem I use to be a sexholic and now I just can't even get in the mood...and I find my husband very attractive.  I just want an answer!! I hate using ky and he hates using condoms we just want to go the natural way!!

[Voluptuous]

I am 28 years old.  My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have two kids.  I am experiecing the same problem.  I use to get wet all the time even while driving if I thought of my husband.  Now even though I still get turned on by him I can't get wet.  I don't know why this is happening to me and I don't like using lube either.  My husband gets turned on easily and I do too but I don't want him to think that I'm not turned on.  It is weird that I can still climax but can't get wet in the beginning.  Did the flaxseeds work?

[geneveive216]

i am 20 and have the same problem. i've never had unprotected sex and use condoms every time. my boyfriend and I are very careful, and I dont understand why i can't get wet. it was during finals week when we tried and it failed.  we tried 2 days later and i failed to get wet again! i was extremely turned on and VERY confused as to why it wasn't wet down there.  my boyfriend isn't mad, just concerned and so am i.  i tried to get myself wet and it also didn't work.  I dont understand what's wrong! i'm making an appointment with a gyno for next week because i've never been to one before.

[yeni23]

im 15 , very young and i have the same exact problem. and its really irritating my brain! my boyfriend is like dieng to have sex with me and i am too! i get in the mood with him and we both get horny and everything but i just dont get wet! he eats me out and everything and it feels so good but i still dont get wet. and when it gets to the point of him on top of me to try and stick it in, it wont go in becuase im dried. not only that im so dried that my vagina lips dont let his penis get inside the hole. i dont know if it hapens to you guys too but my lips sort of get in the way and dont let his penis go in. and its because im dried! weve tried it about 10 times already and all those 10 times, we havent had sex sex. it makes me feel so bad because he probly thinks am a little girl that just doesnt know how 2 have sex. ive had sex with my exboyfriend and it was perfectly fine! with him? its just terrible and were doing everything right. he says he really want to make love with me and i know in his face he feels really bad... and also another thing is lubricant. okay i know lubricant will work but once were in the mood and kissing and crazy horny, go getting the lubricant and opening it and smearing it on me will totally turn me off and he would just go back soft . its really hard again to get him hard and stuff cus we were just in the mood and then we stopped in the mood becuase we had 2 stop what were doing 2 put on lubricant. what should i dooooo? please please help me

[GiggleFire]

Like a lot of other people said, try lubricant. KY is usually recommended, so it must work pretty well.

[Triteia]

I had to leave my boyfriends house last night as i was so upset when i couldnt get wet. I was really horny and had been waiting all week to be with him. He wasnt supportive at all and said "its not my fault its not working down there, whats wrong with you. This happend last time too". He turned his back on me, refused to hold me even tho i was in tears. I'm so happy i've found this page as i now know its not uncommon and my bit of advice to add is that it could also be subconcious fears that maybe the guy you're with doesnt care for you. Emotions play a major part in a girls physical perparation for sex.
For all you girls suffering ftom this think about your relationships, if theres something you're worried about tell the man. If not then try a day of boosting your emotional state, a spa day or a day with good friends before you go to your man. If that still doesnt work then get to the doctors for an STD test. If still nothing comes of it then a hormone stabiliser is the next step.
For me its ditch the boyfriend, get an STD test (cos he has cheated on me) and be with people who care about me till i feel good about myself again.
Your body is the true judge of how you are feeling about your self and your relationships
Thanks to all who posted here x

[crazy_taco]

I have the same problem. I'm 16, so its not very likely i can just go up to my dad and tell him i need to go buy KY or anything like that. My boyfriend won't get it either. It never used to be a problem, but with the issues of getting gel or anything like it, is it not possiable for a diffrent way?

[electriceel]

I've been married for about three weeks now, and even though we've made out, my husband and I only tried to have actual sex last night for the first time.

I feel frustrated - I wasn't able to get wet at all, even though he went down on my for a good while, and was attentive.  I was turned on, and I wanted him, but two problems -

a) I couldn't get wet, and
b) we had trouble even finding where to put his penis (as in, which exact place).

The second problem is probably more easily solvable.  The first though - the wetness.  Can anyone confirm for sure how to solve the problem, without resorting to KY or lubricant?

I feel bad about this... first, making him wait because I  hadn't been ready for it, and then because he tried so hard to turn me on (and I was, for a bit) and it didn't work for me.

I feel like a retard still being a virgin three weeks after getting married.  =|

[MandyMOOMOO]

Just drink ALOT of water, and see if that helps, thats what i tried and turns out i did just need more fluids

[sparkle520]

I'm 39 and my problem was getting wet i'm am afro american. I was to ashamed to have sex after awhile. Then I came across a young lady whom gave a small but very valuable suggestion FLAXSEED! oh my god thank you! thank you! it cost me one dollar literally for a 1/2 pound and you buy what you want grind or whole its your choice. I took a small teaspoon full for 5 days! no exaggeration ladies 5 days. I felt and saw the difference i felt 21 again. Look it up for yourself, you will love it. It really works.  

[toothick383]

well im 17 yrs of age and i have a 10 month old daugther,everytime me and her father have sex im completly dry!! i get soo angry with myself about it, i was never like that.. i used to get soaken wet, i thought there was something wrong with me.. and suggestions on some lubricants i can use???

[jren92602]

I never had a problem with lubricating, i use to get really wet, but in the passed 3-5 months i've completly lost my sex drive. The times that I wanna have sex i cant get wet. I dont know why this all of a sudden happen to me. Im only 22 and i use to love sex but now...I thought i was the only one with this problem. I have no idea what to do please help. I thought about buying lubricant but i dont know how my boyfriend would feel abt it. any suggestions???