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Can't get wet-please help!
I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost five years.  However, for the past few weeks when we have sex it has been really hard for me to stay wet.  I am extremely attracted to him, but I don't know what to do! Sometimes it even hurts to have sex.  It is extremely frustrating and I don't know what to do.
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IM FACING THE SAME PROBLEM AND IM SCARED I MIGHT LOST MY BOYFRIEND
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1940053 tn?1323799773
so can birthcontrol pills make u where u cant get wet ? im only 18 and im having problems wit staying or getting wet.... i dont rlly like KY i just want to find out why i cant get wet anymore... ive been on birthcontrol for a year now bc i had sergury. they had to remove a cysit that had burst and i had internal bleeding and now sense i can remember after taken the pill i am having this problem...i want sex and i get turned on and stuff but have trouble getting wet idk what to do, should i stop taken birthcontrol or wat... cuz i cant stand this
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Did you take flaxseed oil or the ground flaxseed? i think theres two types, golden and brown? Im not sure but im curious since you said it works and I am considering buying the flaxseed now :) please reply ASAP:) thank you
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Im 25 and i have the same problem for 5yrs now, and ive
NEVER had this problem before. From the moment i stop gettin wet i went straight to my GB they put me on a list to see a sex therapists but it turns out i had to travel 10miles twice a week to see these people and at the time me and my ex-bf didnt have any money travel so never went but they did send me info on how to solve the problem and what causes it. we try EVERYTHING but nonthin worked! that was 5yrs ago i have been with many guys since then, but the weird thing is, i do get wet and i dont have any problems when i first get with a new guy but after havin sex with the same person about 3 or 4 times i go dry again, then i have to find a way of gettin out of sex as long as posable but all of my relationships over the yrs have never lasted long bcos of it. ive been single for a yr now, and i dont want a relationship cos im actually been put off  by having sex now and that REALLY upsets me bad! It scares me that i will never b with anyone again. Someone plz help
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i am dealing with the same situation and lack of fluids is something to consider because i dont ever drink water. maybe like a glass every three weeeks. i just dont like water. so im going to try it
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HI, I am 28 and I haven’t gotten wet since I was 16. It literally dried up after being raped repeatedly. I have been to numerous doctors, have spent a ton of money on herbs and lubs and so forth. I have also shared in the embarrassing emotions, not feeling like a woman, sad, angry..you name it. I felt it. The best thing for you to do first, is to consult your doctor. I received resistance when I was young, but make your doctor listen. Get lab work done to make sure nothing is wrong with your different hormone levels. All my tests came back ok, which literally had me in tears. I needed something to be wrong so it could get fixed. The best lube is Astroglide. The best! If it never comes back, learn to embrace your body and accept it, work around it…its not easy, but its doable.  
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Hi, I'm having some issues staying wet during sex. I start off strong but about five minutes into it I dry up and it becomes very painful for me to contiune. My husband dosen't understand why I don't enjoy sex anymore. I just act like I have a headache just to avoid sex so I won't disappiont him.. I need to find an answer. Please help.
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I have had the same problem for the last two weeks. I'm only 20 and my fiancée and I haven't had any problems like this before. I do have a hormone problem, but I take medicine for it, so they are not out of whack. Help!!!
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I found this great website about the kinds of natural supplements which are claimed to work to increase cervical mucous. The site is aimed at women looking to conceive, but I imagine this would work for many of the issues listed above. I am going to try evening primrose, L arginine and the flaxseeds, let me know if any of these work for anyone, I will post again in a few weeks if anything works out:

http://natural-fertility-info.com/5-natural-ways-to-increase-your-cervical-mucous.html
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wow u have my exact problem! I'm 19 too and i've been with him for 4 years but we've only been intimate the last 2. I'll be 20 next 2 months. Please help it's annoying!!!
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Maybe because you're 15 years old and you're too young to be having sex.
That ever cross your mind?
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your way to young for that. And im guessing he's an older guy if you're afraid he thinks you're a little girl because of it? If I was you i'd wait a few years and not make the mistake too many people have made. You're just a kid.
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astroglide liquid it works good and gets you supper wet:)
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I had been having the same thing- at first I thought it was because my boyfriend could get turned on like that and I couldn't keep up. I've been researching and someone suggested to drink more water. I didn't drink nearly enough water as I should have been, so I upped my intake and I haven't had a problem since :) Hope you get relief.
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i am going through the same problem. i am on birth control pills csuse i already have 2 kids and i dont want anymore. but ever since i started the pill before my kids and after .. my sex drive decreased alot as well as for me to get wet again..... ever since i first started the pill after a year on it is when i started to have problems its been 3 years now and i tryed everything nothing seems to work.   have you found something that is working for you?
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Vaginal dryness can also occur for other common reasons like:

    certain medications, like hormonal contraceptives, SSRIs (antidepressants) or allergy medications
    smoking
    certain health issues, like diabetes, hysterectomy, pregnancy, yeast or bacterial infections or allergies
    cancer treatments
    sexually transmitted infections
    dehyrdation
    low or decreased libido (sexual desire)
    not having sex as often as you're used to
    menopause or perimenopause (at which point, if you want to have vaginal sex, for many women, lube just will no longer be optional) or declining levels of estrogen for some other reason
    stress, fatigue, depression or anxiety
    sensitivity to things like laundry detergents, vaginal washes, douches, and any other chemical in your environment

Too, keep an eye on if this is only happening with your partner, or is also happening when you masturbate. Sometimes, we're just not feeling it with a partner, and it's the relationship or sexual dynamics which are the root cause of dryness and a lack of enough arousal to produce adequate lubrication.

After all, the most common reason for vaginal dryness is a plain old lack of high sexual arousal or desire. Consider that it's possible that what you think is a lot of sexual arousal may not be so much after all: it just may be as high as you've experienced it so far, and as your life goes on, your attitudes about sexuality change, you have different relationships or sexual experiences, you may well discover that you can be a lot more aroused later than you have been to date.

It's precarious and provocative, but I feel like I should probably also address that it's possible that vaginal intercourse -- from the perspective of women, at least -- may well be a more reproductive activity than a sexual one. In other words, we already know it is the activity which can get us pregnant, and we also know that intercourse, all by itself, often doesn't stimulate our most sexually-sensitive parts and that the majority of women don't get off with intercourse.

So, if we're looking to have intercourse be this thing that we're always ready for every day of the month, or always get super-excited about (which is going to be tough for women who know it's not going to result in orgasm and/or be all that exciting), that our sexual selves are always all into, that simply may not be a very realistic expectation, especially without some additions, like adding manual sex or masturbation to intercourse, or like adding a lubricant when we need one because it feels good. That may also mean changing the way we have sex so that intercourse isn't our main course, but a more occasional kind of sex.

I think it's sound to entertain the theoretical possibility -- though this may well not be correct or speak for the sexual reality or experiences of all women -- that there's a reason vaginal intercourse is often most comfortable when we're ovulating (and thus, have some extra lubrication due to the changes in the fluidity of our cervical mucus), because that just may be an activity which is more about making babies than having sex. That isn't to say it's all it has to be, mind you. It doesn't, especially if that isn't all it's about for you (I know when I have it, it's certainly not for me). Rather, I'm merely suggesting that using lubricants with some frequency for vaginal sex that's about pleasure, not just procreation, makes sense for more than one reason. For those talking about wanting things to be natural, and avoiding lubes while still having intercourse, that may be something to think about.

If the issue is about partners (or you) having unrealistic expectations of your body, the problem isn't your body: it's those expectations. By all means, self-lubricating usually is part of high levels of sexual arousal, so if you're just not aroused enough, you both can remedy that by doing more to GET you aroused, and being sure you're only having sex when you want to, and having the kinds of sex you find pleasurable and exciting. But how much, how little, and when women will self-lubricate still varies a lot between women. You and a partner need to accept your body as it is: part of partnered sex is celebrating just that, the uniqueness of our bodies. Our expectations of our bodies or those of a partner sexually shouldn't be based on anyone else, but only on each other.
So, what would I suggest as a plan of action for persistent vaginal dryness that's driving you nuts?

1) See if using lube helps, and if so, use it when you need to. Yep: I suggest that first, particularly if you want to have comfortable vaginal sex while still investigating if there isn't an actual problem that needs address. Alternately, take a break from sex full-stop until you experiment with some other alternatives.
2) See a sexual healthcare provider who earnestly provides sexual healthcare. In other words, you're probably going to want to see an OB/GYN or sex therapist, not a general family doctor, and you're going to want to ask that healthcare provider about their background in sexual health, and if they feel equipped to really deal with sexual issues. If they don't squirm or turn red when you ask that, or blow you off, that's a very good sign.
3) Do the best you can to be honest with that healthcare provider and fill them in on your health history -- as well as the current status of your relationship and how you feel about your sexuality -- in as much depth as possible.
4) Try what they suggest, be that a switch in a medication, a visit to a nutritionist, more masturbation, talk therapy, estrogen creams, drinking more water, really only having sex when you are VERY aroused and that's what you want, taking some time away from intercourse, and -- most likely -- using lube as you need to. Your doctor may even suggest using a vaginal lubricant daily, even if you aren't having sex that day.
5) In the midst of all of this, whatever the result, take a look at your own body image, sexuality and gender issues. If you have ideas like that being dry sometimes isn't feminine or womanly, like you're "less of a woman" because you're not dripping wet 24/7, or that something is wrong with your body for most likely functioning normally, see if you can't work on ditching those ideas.
6) Let go of negative attitudes about lube and -- once more -- use it when you need to. Really, truly, honestly, feeling frustrated and disgruntled and either avoiding lube, or staying frustrated when you're using lube, is only going to be one more way to keep yourself from self-lubricating (stress inhibits arousal, after all) and having your sex life be something you truly enjoy.

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I know how u feel bc me and my husband fight all the time bc he gets frustrated and just gives up and doesnt want to have sex....but i havent find anything that helps bc lubs we both hate and also we r trying for our first child and he comes to early when there is lub put on....
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im 22.. going on 23... sometimes i can get wet but then i dont stay for very long.. and other times i g=cant even get wet... even though i love what my boyfriend does to me... it is very frustrating .. i feel  something is wrong with me ... and then my boyfriend feels hes not doing his part... and his is... and id rather get my natural wetness then to use lubes... HELP!!!
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spread your legs ur legs are to close together when he goin for the plunge and your tight
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I just got the Implanon about 2 months ago, and I'm experiencing this problem.  My bf has always been able to get me wet, and now I can't get wet, I don't ejaculate anymore, or have an orgasm. So I was thinking maybe it could be the birth control, but as I've been reading everyone else's posts I see more theories that make a lot of sense to me. However, I do hope this problem goes away soon as for everyone else also.
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Im having this same issue and im only 25. Ive tried ky and a bunch of other lubes nuthin wrks. I do drink alot of caffine so im going to cut back on that to see if it wrks any other suggestions bc this has been an emotional roller coaster
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3088259 tn?1340864626
i FEEL THAT i AM IN THE EXACT SAME BOAT  i HAVE AN EXTREMELY SEXY HUSBAND BUT FOR SOME REASON MY FLUIDS JUST WON'T GET GOING WITH OUT  CUNNINGLUS OR LES PORN???
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I'm kinda in the same position, I'm 21 and I love sex its great but I haven't had sex in a month and I've been super horny and just doing it myself and I can get myself super wet but the other night I was with a guy and I just couldn't get turned on or wet. I drink a lot so Idk if they has something to do with it but I feel like if I use lube that the guy is gonna be like well I can't keep her turned on or wet enough then he gets turned off, so any feed back would be awesome!
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I am having the same problem. I am 27 and i never had a problem like this.I really be in the mood to have sex with my bf but when he try to stick it in i am dry and that really hurts. could someone pls help me.
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how to eat flax seeds?
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So glad i ran across this.. Starting my flax seeds now.. Thanks Sparkle520:-)
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I have this exact same problem and it is beginning to have very negative effects on my self esteem, I am 17 years old and this has become a huge issue for me, although my partner is more understanding. I have had a pap smear and the doctor said it all seems healthy, I try using lube but it is a bit of a buzz kill and I have changed my pill because i thought that might be the problem but I still can not get wet on my new pill. Even after having loads of foreplay.. still nothing. And I am sooooooooooo attracted to the guy I am with, he's incredible and I'm beginnging to feel extremely inadequate, like my body is not able to complete it's proper functions and I feel not good enough. There are obviously a lot of people going through the same thing but there doesnt seem to be many solutions!!
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Am in Love with a guy, and the guy is complaining I can't get wet during sexual intercourses and he want too back because of that, I love him and. I. Don't want to loose hiM. What do I do
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Hello, my fiance n i have been together almost 5 years. Last year i noticed this problem anf went to the gyno. I found out i have a problem with having cysts on my ovaries and this can cause you to either not get wet ir stay wet and can deff cause pain. I had pain for almost 5 months. Sometimes i would end up balling my eyes out from pain. Please go to the doctor. Mine have gone away but my doctor was ready to due surgery on me when all of a sudden i no linger got them. Go to the gyno!
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I am 24yrs old now and I have been having this dryness issue for months. I am in a triad relationship, so with both my girl and boyfriend I am just dry! It's uncomfortable because my girlfriend is 37 (boyfriend is 36) and she gets wet all day everyday, on command!!!. This dry spell has NEVER been the case for me. They keep trying to help me relax but there must be an easier way right?!? I'm drinking 8 glasses of water today, minimum, and I'm making sure to eat three hours before and digest. I'll do this for a few days and then also get the flaxseeds from GMC or CVS.... If none of that works then.... Well it'll be back to google for me -__-
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Birth control can cause you not to lubricate well also performance anxiety
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Practice makes perfect!!
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Hey ladies. I have the same problem I've been with my fiance for 5 years! And for the last three years I haven't been able to get wet at ALL! Like literally at all. I am very attracted to him and he's very sweet even when I really WANT to I just can't!! Idk why! And its becoming a very huge problem in our relationship because I'm now avoiding all sexual contact because it hurts so bad because I just can't get wet. And we have already tried numerous topical gels and stuff and it still hurts when he put it in and the gel only lasts for a couple minuets and then I'm dry again and it just hurts the whole time like a knife stabbing inside me! We've tried four play and oral and nothing seems to work! He thinks I am not into him at all anymore and I am I love him and even when I do want sex it doesn't work, could I have something wrong with me medically? Do I need hormone shots or something? Idk what to do and every time I go to my Dr. Or gynecologist they just tell me to apply lube and we've already been doing that for a years and its just not working and Ia very uncomfortable the whole time because I'm in so much pain, anyone know why I'm in so much pain down there?? I just don't know what to do anymore and its really affecting our relationship as a couple. Any feedback please!!!!
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I am having the same issue. Any solutions?
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I have been having this problem too thats why I looked it up. With several of the other I have notice ONE common thing we ALL have merina!!! I wonder if that could be the problem?
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By jamie southern | Feb 25, 2007  
3 Comments
I think i have what is called vaginal dryness. Normally im rather moist but when it comes to sexual intercourse i seem to dry up almost instantly as soon as i get touched, it causes friction and its embarassing that i cant make my self wet when im arroused. Most of the research i have already done has told me it is 95% of the time stress related, but this doesnt help me to solve the problem, is ther anything i can take or do to keep lubricated?
Tags: vaginal, Health, Women's, Reproductive Health, Women's Health, Research, stress, yeast, Sexual intercourse, Yeast Infections
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3 Comments Post a Comment


monkeyflower  
Feb 25, 2007
Buy some good waterbased lube. A lot of people like Astroglide (which you can find in any drug store), or if you're prone to yeast infections, you might prefer a glycerin-free lube, like Slippery Stuff. Regardless, you can go to any sex toy store (in person or online) and find an astonishing variety of lubes :-)
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fiona1983  
Feb 26, 2007
hello,
Are you TTC. If you are I advise using Pre-seed as it does not kill off sperm like other lubricants.
Its not expensive and you can get internal or external.
Hope this helps if you are TTC.
I have used it for he first time this month and am awaiting the 1st march hoping for a BFp!
fiona
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AliciiaMaynard  
less than a minute
To: jamie southern
Hi, I know this is a late reply but I am sure that if you no longer suffer from this issue that others may and hopefully this will help someone.

I was a sufferer from vaginal dryness for a long time, to the point that sex became unbearable. I hated having sex because I knew my dryness would frustrate him. Being a woman, there is nothing more embarrassing than having to pull out lube. So I am sure that is not what you want to hear so I am not going to tell you (although lube is a little less frustrating to him if you explain to him that you arent wet because he didn't turn you on, he won't be so mad about applying some lube then lol)

First, perform what I like to call "the test." When you are alone, masterbate by clitoral stimulation and bring yourself an orgasm. There is no reason to be embarrassed about your dryness alone so just lay back and enjoy the feelings that you havent been able to experience because of your embarrassment from dryness. If you aren't wet before orgasm, you should be wet after, the vagina just gets wet after orgasm. If your body has succeeded in secreting after orgasm, then you are able to get wet. If not, then go talk to your gyno, you may have a serious problem (std).

If you did get wet after orgasm, then most of our stress about the situation should be gone you know you can get wet, you just have to figure out how.
First Solution: Inform him that you cannot become completely aroused unless he gives you an orgasm using oral sex first. This way he will make you orgasm with his already wet tongue and wont realize that you werent wet before you orgasmed.
Second Solution: If your plant is dry, what do you do, water it. My second suggestion and the most successful method for me was to DRINK WATER.!!! Your vagina cannot be moisturized if your body is not and the best way is to DRINK WATER! After I started drinking 80 oz of water a day (your weight in ounces divided by two) I became so wet my man couldn't handle it!! so cut out your juices and sodas and just drink more water!!
Third solution: Moisturize your vagina. Get some vaginal lotion or gel and insert it into your vagina. Squeeze your vaginal muscles a few times and masterbate. Allow your juices to mix and mingle with the lotion and gel juices. Let it sit as long as you can bear, I suggest just putting on your clothes and letting it sit all day. Your body will slowly absorb the juices. Then it will be able to replicate it during sex.

I hope this helps somebody!!!!

*I am NOT a health professional and this method has not been tested, this is just what worked for ME*
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When I ended up on hypertension medication I was too dry also.  Now I am taking half the original dose and they dryness vaneshed.  Some medications cause vaginal dryness so talke to your doctor.
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I am 19 years old i i have never been able to get wet. Can someone tell me whats going on?
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I am 25, been with my boyfriend for 7 years. It's been off and on sexually for me thruout the relationship. Every once in awhile I am able to get soaking wet when we have foreplay.. But recently on vacation, mind u I was finishing my cycle during our trip, we had passionate sex several times, but nothing. Dry as sand! What Is wrong with me!!!??
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hii, how do you eat them? just eat them dry or ???
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I'm so glad other people feel scared and worried about this too and I'm not alone! I've been with my partner for over 3 years and I've never been with anyone else. We used to have sex a lot and everything was great then more recently my dryness has caused him to hurt me a few times so it has made us both really nervous. The lubes help, they really do, but if i have to recommend have ones that contain water or a mix of silicone and water, it works much better. Durex and other brands are too thin and it dries up right away. Plus, girly's secret? That stuff tastes nasty! There's a brand, I think they are called ID, and they really help. Plus they're kind fun so it makes you relax. Sometimes all it is is your own worries and over-thinking the situation. We're a lot more complicated than men, anything going on in our heads can throw us off in bed, we just have to be relaxed and comfortable. When I get really bad I have a movie night or do something fun and romantic and it makes me feel safe and overall it usually helps xx
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I recently got on the birth control skyla, which is like mirena, & today and yesterday I had an issue getting wet before sex. I have sex a couple of time before, after getting on this birth control & it wasn't an ssue. I took Aleve both days & found after taking it, I hardly got wet & I couldn't stay wet. I was soaked beforehand though & I was very hydrated. Could it have been the Aleve?
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Hi im just wondering if the coffe thing is true if it drys you up while having sex cause I barely get many orgasm and I like to feel that pleasure before my bf somone please help me understand
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I am 34 years old iv been with my man for almost 3years and I'm have a hard time getting wet and he is starting to think I'm massing around on him but I'm not iv been nothing but faithful to my man like his is my everything I gave up almost everything for my friends, family what should I do and he tells me hus going to leave me if I don't start coming for like I should.
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I have the same problem after I had my first son I just dried up and now it just hirts I love sex and now im more worry about when is it gonna start to hirt..what do I do I use to get soak and now im lucky to
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Are any of you taking antidepressants? Read about the side effects, that's one of them, there are some depression medicines that actually will do the opposite, one is called Wellbutrin, I take it, also try using coconut oil or vitamin e capsules, as lubricant are better and natural.
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I am 17 as well! i have never had sex with my bf of a year and a half but every time we try i am never wet. He feels bad, i feel worse. i have no idea what to do
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I agree with you!!
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I agree with you 100%!!!
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I agree with you on this because I believe the mind plays a part in sex too!
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