I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost five years. However, for the past few weeks when we have sex it has been really hard for me to stay wet. I am extremely attracted to him, but I don't know what to do! Sometimes it even hurts to have sex. It is extremely frustrating and I don't know what to do.
I'm not sure there is a good answer to that. Sometimes it just happens. There is a chance that your hormones could be out of balance, but you would probably notice other symptoms with that. Are you taking a decongestant by chance? Coffee and alcohol have been reputed to dry you up but I don't really know if that's true. My only advice is to use a lube or start eating A LOT of flaxseeds.
I am not a fan of ky, to gel like for me. But they have a ton of different types out there that are much nicer. I agree that hormones play a huge role in it, are you on any type of birth control? That may have an impact on it. Hydration may as well. You may want to run it by your doctor if it gets too bothersome.
Flaxseed is just a type of seed. They are tiny and brown. They are full of Omega 3 fats, which will help increase your cervical mucus, among other things. Fatty fish is also high in Omega 3, but I'm vegetarian, which is why I said flaxseeds. :) You can buy flaxseeds in any healthfood store. My local healthfood store sells it in bulk for about $1.20/ pound. You should eat 1-3 TBS/ day. You can take flaxseed oil caplets, but I've read (in more than one place) that they go rancid quickly, probably by the time you open the bottle. The same is true for fish oil caplets. You can also start taking Evening Primrose Oil, which is high in Omega 6. I can't remember all of the science behind Omega fats, but I'm sure you could look it up. Hope this helps.
I'm having the exact problem right now...it's been two months..I'm only 19 ..and i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years...please send me an email at ***@**** if you figured out what the problem was. I am very frustrated
Listen i had the exact same problem for about a year and a half to the point that mysex drive even started to decline. I strongly advise that anyone with this problem gets an STD test cause it turned out that i had something called mycoplasma genitalia which is basically in the family of clamidia and stops you being able to get wet and enjoy sex. For a year and a half i thought it was an unsolvable problem. Its symptomless so don't think you haven't got it.
I am having the same problem! I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and it is extremely frustrating! It hurts me as well.... We used to have sex no less than once a day and it's slowly declining to once every couple days...And whenever I try, its soo hard to get wet even though I'm completely turned on so it ends up burning or hurting me.... This is going to sound dirty but maybe it will help you since you dont like lube either... I find that when I pleasure him orally and make sure to get it really wet with my mouth, it not only helps me to get turned on but also makes it easier for him to slide in without lube.... Please let me know if you find out a way to fix the problem because I have been trying for over 2 months! Im going on birth control in about a week so I will try and let you all know if that helps..... my emal is dalialuuuvsyou @ yahoo Without the spaces plase let me know!
I have been having trouble getting wet also. I am glad to know I'm not the only one frustrated with it. My boyfriend is as well. He thinks I'm not in the mood when I really am. Also he never wants to help get it wet because it never works and he feels like a failure. Is there any way other than a lube that could get me to produce more wetness?
I have the same problem as the rest of you. I'm 20 almost 21 and I have been with my fiance now for almost 5 years and we have 2 kids. When we have sex I have difficulty getting wet and I'm really upset about it. I don't want him to think that he's not doing something right and when we use lub to me it burns and don't know why we don't use condoms I can't stand them and besides I have that new thing its called the mirena.I really hope that I can get my sex drive back Because it's really upsetting and I think that is one reason me and him fight sometimes.
thank you girls so much for being so honest about this stuff- I'm going thru the same thing and it's really scary to think that I'm young (22) and am having this problem with someone I am totally in love with and am just crazy attracted to - I think it's just nerves but if anyone has any other suggestions please let me know! thanks!!!! it's relief not to be alone on this.
I've been experiencing this in the past few weeks. Never had this problem before. EVER. Hubby and I have sex regularly and enjoy it. Now it's been weird, we both feel that it's not enjoyable. I cried this morning beause I was so sensitive about it.
Maybe could be an infection? Hormonal imbalance? But can you get mycoplasma genitalia (even if you are married and have one partner?) I mean there is no one outside of us.
Also I feel like I can't get an orgasm. It's very hard for me to get to that point of climax. Which is also very werid for me too. I never had an issue.
i carnt believe how many people have the same problem im onli eighteen just turned been with my partner 2years and i carnt get wet at all its never been a problem i used to get scared that i got to wet but now i feel like i never want sex nomor i feel in the mood but just like i carnt be botherd and when i do sumtyms it really hurts ive been to tears its that bad its becomin a real problem to point were were breakin up all the time x
Hi I am 17 and I have the same problem. It is really embarrasing for me and I try to avoid sex as much as possible. I dont know what to do and I dont want to talk to anybody, even my doctor about it because its soo embarrassing. I have had this problem for almost a year now and I dont know what to do. I have been talking to this guy a lot and we really like each other, but I dont want to have sex with him because im scared he is going to think its his fault or think differently of me. I have no idea what to do! help me please
I am 23 and I am married have been for 2 years, and we have two kids...My husband is in the military and has been gone for two weeks at a school he came back and we were fixing to do the deed and I just couldn't get wet. I am on a birth control called mirena. But ever since i have been on it i haven't really had this problem I use to be a sexholic and now I just can't even get in the mood...and I find my husband very attractive. I just want an answer!! I hate using ky and he hates using condoms we just want to go the natural way!!
I am 28 years old. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have two kids. I am experiecing the same problem. I use to get wet all the time even while driving if I thought of my husband. Now even though I still get turned on by him I can't get wet. I don't know why this is happening to me and I don't like using lube either. My husband gets turned on easily and I do too but I don't want him to think that I'm not turned on. It is weird that I can still climax but can't get wet in the beginning. Did the flaxseeds work?
i am 20 and have the same problem. i've never had unprotected sex and use condoms every time. my boyfriend and I are very careful, and I dont understand why i can't get wet. it was during finals week when we tried and it failed. we tried 2 days later and i failed to get wet again! i was extremely turned on and VERY confused as to why it wasn't wet down there. my boyfriend isn't mad, just concerned and so am i. i tried to get myself wet and it also didn't work. I dont understand what's wrong! i'm making an appointment with a gyno for next week because i've never been to one before.
im 15 , very young and i have the same exact problem. and its really irritating my brain! my boyfriend is like dieng to have sex with me and i am too! i get in the mood with him and we both get horny and everything but i just dont get wet! he eats me out and everything and it feels so good but i still dont get wet. and when it gets to the point of him on top of me to try and stick it in, it wont go in becuase im dried. not only that im so dried that my vagina lips dont let his penis get inside the hole. i dont know if it hapens to you guys too but my lips sort of get in the way and dont let his penis go in. and its because im dried! weve tried it about 10 times already and all those 10 times, we havent had sex sex. it makes me feel so bad because he probly thinks am a little girl that just doesnt know how 2 have sex. ive had sex with my exboyfriend and it was perfectly fine! with him? its just terrible and were doing everything right. he says he really want to make love with me and i know in his face he feels really bad... and also another thing is lubricant. okay i know lubricant will work but once were in the mood and kissing and crazy horny, go getting the lubricant and opening it and smearing it on me will totally turn me off and he would just go back soft . its really hard again to get him hard and stuff cus we were just in the mood and then we stopped in the mood becuase we had 2 stop what were doing 2 put on lubricant. what should i dooooo? please please help me
I had to leave my boyfriends house last night as i was so upset when i couldnt get wet. I was really horny and had been waiting all week to be with him. He wasnt supportive at all and said "its not my fault its not working down there, whats wrong with you. This happend last time too". He turned his back on me, refused to hold me even tho i was in tears. I'm so happy i've found this page as i now know its not uncommon and my bit of advice to add is that it could also be subconcious fears that maybe the guy you're with doesnt care for you. Emotions play a major part in a girls physical perparation for sex.
For all you girls suffering ftom this think about your relationships, if theres something you're worried about tell the man. If not then try a day of boosting your emotional state, a spa day or a day with good friends before you go to your man. If that still doesnt work then get to the doctors for an STD test. If still nothing comes of it then a hormone stabiliser is the next step.
For me its ditch the boyfriend, get an STD test (cos he has cheated on me) and be with people who care about me till i feel good about myself again.
Your body is the true judge of how you are feeling about your self and your relationships
Thanks to all who posted here x
I have the same problem. I'm 16, so its not very likely i can just go up to my dad and tell him i need to go buy KY or anything like that. My boyfriend won't get it either. It never used to be a problem, but with the issues of getting gel or anything like it, is it not possiable for a diffrent way?
I'm 39 and my problem was getting wet i'm am afro american. I was to ashamed to have sex after awhile. Then I came across a young lady whom gave a small but very valuable suggestion FLAXSEED! oh my god thank you! thank you! it cost me one dollar literally for a 1/2 pound and you buy what you want grind or whole its your choice. I took a small teaspoon full for 5 days! no exaggeration ladies 5 days. I felt and saw the difference i felt 21 again. Look it up for yourself, you will love it. It really works.
well im 17 yrs of age and i have a 10 month old daugther,everytime me and her father have sex im completly dry!! i get soo angry with myself about it, i was never like that.. i used to get soaken wet, i thought there was something wrong with me.. and suggestions on some lubricants i can use???
I never had a problem with lubricating, i use to get really wet, but in the passed 3-5 months i've completly lost my sex drive. The times that I wanna have sex i cant get wet. I dont know why this all of a sudden happen to me. Im only 22 and i use to love sex but now...I thought i was the only one with this problem. I have no idea what to do please help. I thought about buying lubricant but i dont know how my boyfriend would feel abt it. any suggestions???
I'm 19 and normally i be real wet when its time to do my thang but this time i was a lil wet and i'm like whats going on down there with ms. Aquafina i thinking it was like that becuz i was high but i'm going to try it again friday and i'm gone let yall know.
i did experience this problem too.
the thing is dont think about it too much youll just stop getting wet forever.
we have ups and downs..
the key to that issue is:
1- dont get in bed if you did not digest what u ate already.
2-lots lots of water.
3-TELL YOUR MAN TO TEASE YOU.
hey guys i hae the same problem too my bf tries everything but everytime i get turned on and then it goes away and btw:why do i take too long to come i mean it could take me like a half an hour or n hour smtimes to come and it upsets my bf very much cz it makes him think that hes not goood a lotd so what should i do?comments will be appreciated thnx a lot guys
I've had this problem for 5 months and it either burns or hurts and i have this white stuff no matter how hard i try i cannot get wet it realy frustrates me and I have tried everything i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and i'm 17 could someone please help
THIS IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING EVER!! im only 20yrs old and really dont want to ask my bf 2use lube, because i should be able to become wet!.. He keeps telling me to relax, but i keep saying that I am completley relaxed! He seems to think Im nervous still, but Im not! Its starting to really get to me, is anybody around my age who is suffering the same problem?? what should I do to get rid of this! Please help! :(
I have the same issue! It seems to be around the same age group too. I'm 19. I get super easily turned on, and I used to get plenty wet, but now I can't get wet at all & it burns and hurts. On top of that my the area just below my vagina stings, but its not like my boyfriend is GIGANTIC, he's just normal.....so I'm not sure why it keeps ripping??? I used to love sex, now I feel like I shouldn't even try because I'll end up having to stop and then he's not satisfied and I feel bad (luckily he is so so comforting and understanding about it all, but I still feel like he is dissapointed). Someone let me know what I can do to fix this. Email me if you could Laura_Hansford42***@****
I've had this problem, ever since I've had sex. I'm 19 and engaged. I absolutely LOVE my fiancé, and I am very turned on by him. It's hit or miss with me. The really bad thing is that he is in the Navy, and so I wont see him for months at a time. So it hurts still, and not being wet makes it worse. I cry every time I don't get wet. Or he'll get me wet, then it will go away. I just don't understand. He is so awesome about it and I am glad, it just annoys me because I hear all of these stories about people having one night stands and I actually LOVE my fiancé. It really gets to me. What helped me get a little wet was him giving me a back rub or foreplay. The water sounds like a good idea. I just hope this stops. Man, I thought Iw as the only one...at least we have SOMETHING in common, even if it *****.
I must say that as a guy, women are a little too touchy worrying about wetness. Most of us are fine with using lubrication, some even prefer it. How you'd sit there and suffer through horrible painful sex when it's as simple as getting lubrication, it's crazy. Every lube is different. You could find various kinds that are either almost exactly like a woman's natural lubrication, or just many different types that all feel different. I've used a tiny bit of soft petroleum jelly in some girls and they didn't even know that I used lube at all (just rubbing a little bit around on my penis, not a thick slathering or anything). It really depends on the girl, and what her body produces in order for you to find the right kind for you. Just keep trying. The guy won't mind, trust me! Girls of all ages can have it happen. Guys understand this. We don't think it means you're dried up and old or something. Tho various types of VD do cause dryness as someone mentioned, so you really should talk to your Doctor just to rule that out. Guys aren't that super picky about sex, using lube on someone isn't a turnoff. I guess I'd almost equate this to what a guy goes through when having a hard time getting or keeping an erection. They worry the girl may think they don't find them attractive, they worry it makes them seem old, they worry about the stigma around it, etc. My girls that couldn't get wet loved me more than anything and I could tell that. I loved them immensely, and I'd much much much rather use lube than have dry sex with them when they aren't producing much of their own (trust me, it burns the guy's rod too, not just you, and it doesn't feel good at all - the guys will rejoice when you finally bring out the lube again. A guy can tell if you're dry, you're not hiding anything and it it not pleasurable, you actually will make the guy self conscious if you don't talk to him about it. Why is it such a big deal to have a little help when your body isn't cooperating? Your guy will be happy that you want to have sex, he'll be happy that you are using lubrication rather than trying to make like nothing is happening and having uncomfortable painful dry sex. There are new medications they are using now for women that are supposedly supposed to make them be able to get wet much easier. Just talk to your Doctor. First rule out the VD road by getting tested, then if you don't want to just use lubrication which most guys are fine with, you can try one of various different medications that have come out lately that are supposed to help women get wet easier.
I have the same problem!!! Im 18 and have been seeing this guy on and off for about 4 years. I dated a guy for a year and a half in between, and sex was fine, and then when we broke up and i got back together with my current man, i've had trouble staying wet. I feel really self conscious because he always has to stop, and even lube isnt working (then again its really cheap lube). I'm willing to do anything to make sex enjoyable again! I've gotten tested after my ex and I broke up, and I am going to again after reading this; I need some serious help! I feel sooo awkward the next morning. I'm glad to know there are others experiencing the same thing. I haven't had good sex with him since we've got back together and it's really been haunting me lately : (
Anyone have any suggestions for LONG LASTING lube? Cause the cheap lube I used only lasted like 5 minutes and its such a hassle.
Oh! I guess it is also worth mentioning that I have had alcohal (alcohol) in my system everytime we try to have sex. I'm not an alcohalic or anything haha, but its a long distance relationship and we usually like to celebrate when we see each other & both tend to party on the weekends (not to mention he gets really worked up when hes been drinking) Too much info haha? I also don't drink a lot of water which could be the reason...
im 17 and lately as well i havent been getting wet or staying wet we dont have sex its only been 6 months since we have been together but i used to get wet like no other. and its really fustrating and scary that i cant anymore and i know he feels like hes not sexy or good or anything and i dont want him to feel like that and i feel terrible i dont like lube and i idk what things to try please help me i would really like figure out whats wrong with me
try to have sex in random places and do role playing. try to stimulate the brain instead of having the same sex routine. watch porn together. talk dirty to each other while having dinner in public. make it fun
im 17 and have the same prob...its really embarrasing and when i talk to ppl about it and ask for solutions....even the sex nurse doesnt know anyone with this =( my town is small, it feels like im the only person who is like this at my age in my town. and i dont wanna offend the guy by making him not feel sexy and make him think that HES not making me wet...its me. i need a solution please...ps i hate lube!
I used to have the same thing and come to find out it was a UTI. Try drinking some cranberry juice. If you have a UTI or a bladder infection it can cause intercourse to hurt which will cause you to get dry and not beable to get wet at all. It can be very frusterating. If worse comes to worse go to your doctor.
I am so glad that I found this page. I am 24 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and love having sex with him, but cant seen to get wet or dont stay wet for very long. He thinks its because he is doing something wrong or not good enough and I try telling him that thats not the case, I am very attracted and turned on by him and always thought something was wrong with me. This page has given me answers and I am glad that I'm not the only one with the problem.
The only thing that works for me (aside from lube) is submission dates. I found out about it on Oprah. Like we stop being into sex because we feel like we have to take care of this guy so much. We feel too in control, like he's not the man anymore.
Seriously, try it out. He tells you what to wear, then he takes you out to dinner at a place completely of his choosing. He orders for you, he drives, he had all of the control.
We do it every couple of months. I'm serious, it works.
Good Grief! Its not just me then. I'm 18 and i started with this problem last year.I just put it down to boredom with a partner. Its like I'm wet for approximately 2mins and then dry up and then it REALLY starts becoming painful. Feels really sore like a carpet burn in the genitalia area . I had been to have a STD check. and Nothing. Even when i had moved partners it still hurt
and like a lot of other people my sex drive has rapidly decreased. But even on the few occasions where I'm rearing to go, really horny etc. and I think I'm wet ...I'm just not.
I don't fancy using the likes of lubricants either. As I have tried that and still had no such luck.
I would just love it if someone had a magical remedy on hand!!
I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I can't even have sex because I'm so dry. Teasing me doesn't work because even when I masturbate, I can't get wet. I've even tried watching porn! It just doesn't work for me and I'm really upset because we've recently had lots of chances to have sex (which, as you all know, is fairly difficult for teenagers who can't drive.)
hi ,am sarah.am 20 years old and i ve been wid this guy i really luv for abt 2 years.anytime we have sex i dont get wet and it is really getting him faustrated.am always in the mood for him.please help me..i dont no wat can make me wet so that i get wet
Hey I'm 22 soon and I having the same problem, and I feel really bad cos my boyfriend feels like it's him and that I just not turned on by him. But I so am. I get right into it but just no wettness. I feel really silly cos I can't. I also have never had a orguism so if anyone can help me tell me please. Cos I really need it, and it's getting to the stage were my boyfriend just doesn't Want to do it with me anymore or even play with me down there :-( Help
im 21 and Ive been having the same problem, its been about two months now, but for a year now, i always bleed after sex, i got a whole bunch of tests done, and they always say its an infection, they keep giving me antibiotics. my fiance thinks its because i was on so many different antibiotics that it wiped out my system, and i just need to wait a bit to get it back. but i dont know, i just want to have sex with my fiance and my fiance doesnt like lubricants. also they never fixed the bleeding, they still dont know what it is! why does it have to be me!
I am 17 and have been having the same problem! Thanks for all the advice, i'm going to try drinking alot of water and eating flax seeds and more collagen.
To all of the people advising us to use lubricants- you don't understand. We don't want to use a lubricant, we've already thought of that. We want to fix this problem because it's not natural or healthy to not be able to become wet consecutively. There is a reason that this is happening for months in a row. A doctor or your gyno is my safest bet for the right answer. Which I will eventually visit when I have time.
Until then, it is not fun or pleasurable. It leaves one's self and their partner feeling guilty, undesirable and dysfunctional.
So if anyone has the answer to this problem please post it here, asap.
I took the shot back in April of this year because I've literally had a problem on every birth control pill I've ever taken. I ALWAYS have a two week long period with every pill I tried. So I decided why not try the shot because it sounded great. Let me tell you that was the WORST decision I've ever made. After one week I was completely dry and sex felt like my boyfriend was ramming a knife into me. That was the first and only time I took the three month shot, and now seven months later I'm still having major issues. Before the shot, I used to get wet to the point I was dripping down my boyfriends leg! And now I can barely get wet at all. It scares me and makes me think it messed me up for good and I don't know what to do anymore. He turns me on so much and it's so frustrating and embarrassing to me that we have to use lube now or spit on it. Even though he says it does not bother him at all it's just hard for me :(
im 28, and never got wet in my life! im CRYING as i type this letter, be cause my ***** dont do anything. i use every lube and nothing works. please help..... my husband talks about me bad and think im cheating and im not... and he just dont kw how hurt i am, im tired of lube tell me what to do?????
First off..i feel sorry for dannitygirl82 above me that u hav never been wet before..i cant even imagine wat ur going thru..I've been with my man off and on for almost 3yrs now, and for the last 2 weeks all of a sudden, i cant get wet, even thou i am so turned on and luv him very much, and that we hav the best sex..but lately it seems like i dried up. i'm glad to kno its not just me thats having this problem and that everyones being so open about it. I dont want to use condoms or lubricants cos thats no fun r my style. But from reading everyones post, i think im goin to go get a STDs test and buy sum flaxseeds. lately i havnt been drinkin alot of fluids and that my urine is bright yellow. i started taking these vitamins that my mom gave to me. i wonder if that killed my flow!!!
anyways i hope everyone good luck cos this **** is not fun..i luv sex and hate not being wet and pleasin my man and my self
I can relate to all of u. I've been with my bf for over 2 years now. I love him more than anything but for the past year he has been arging with me that am not wet enough and dont *** during sex. He is really annoyed and thinks that am cheating on him with some other guy. I have told him alot that am not cheatin g ur my only man. But he does not believe it as he says that if u really love me and not cheating then u would not be dry during sex and u would *** normally??
This issue is killing our relationship as he is getting really frustrated with me. And he is going on talking to other girls cus he does not see me as the girl that he wishes to have...
I dont know what to do. Ive been to the gyneacologist did several tests and she told me that am fine. I remeber an incident that happend to me 4 years back with my ex, as he was a major time player, heartless, did not care about me at all. I thought I was pregnant and my frnd told me to take microgynyn pills. That was 4years back as I was scared that I was pregnant, I was 17 years old and I was scared that my family will end up knowing s this is not allowed in our culture.
So I dont know is it the side effects of that microgyny or what is it about then?? Whats killing me the most is that I can feel that day by day am losing my bf because of that. In his mind he thinks why should be with someone like that? When I can be with someone who cums normally????
I also have this problem but I am only 15 my HF and I fool around(nothing serious) and I have a really hard time getting even the slightest bit wet and I have never been completely wet! I need help if u find out the problem could u email me?***@****
Wow. I seriously believed I was the ONLY woman out there experiencing this problem. It's reassuring knowing I'm not alone.
I honestly believe that one of the natural ways to help our bodies with this problem is by keeping ourselves hydrated. I found the connection for me personally, that drinking coffee has led to me being dry for my man. Coffee dehydrates our body. Water, flaxseed, omega 3s, primrose oil and collagen, such as everyone has listed, is supposed to help hydrate our body - inside and out.
I don't like using lubricant either - I don't want to always rely on something else to make sex easier. I want to help my body in hydrating itself and therefore getting wet for my man.
Also, I have found THINKING about it while he is kissing you, touching you, or etc. does not help the situation. For me personally, I would think about it ALL the time. Therefore adding pressure to myself about getting wet - which doesn't help at all.
The trick is to relaxing, not thinking about it and really staying hydrated 100%.
Hi ive bin with my boyfriend for a year and we have always had to use lube brecause i cant get wet and i have always had this trouble its not him because hes great and we have sex quite alot what do you think is wrong with me??
yes I have been having this problem alot lately wit my new boyfriend I'm very attracted to him but I jus can't get wet before him I could jus about get super wet for any body I had sex wit n I didn't have to b sexually attracted to them I have a hard time gettin it in but once its n I'm wet again .... ladies I think its the medication we use so jus b careful wat your taken it will help a lot if your partner is into tasting u
i had this problem and i was really embarrassed about it. i read on one of these pages that if you take flaxseed tablets, fish oil tablets and drink robitussin CHESTY cough mixture that it increases cervical mucus and helps hydrate everything down there.
i tried this and its slowly getting better, so i would suggest get all of the above and drink much more water!
Why is it that I can get wet but as soon as we start having sex I get dry and it is really painful is there something wrong with me??? Or is there anything I can do I really don't want to use a lubricant. I just got on birthcontrol about 8 months ago but I haven't been on it in two months but I don't think that is what caused it because it has always been like this, but if I had some sort of std or infection the doctor would have found it when I got tested when I went for birthcontrol? I am just really worried I want to know what is wrong? And what I can do to fix it?? Thanks! -paige
Hi, my girlfriend has the same problem. I think its because of birth control pills, which she has been taking for years! Has anyone been able to get very wet and then it stopped after birth control? And if yes did u quit birth control and you went back to normal? email me at humbles02 at yahoo *******
I'm having the same issues. I'm 19 and it hasn't really become an issue until this year (the boyfriend I am with now likes longer sex than my ex).
I am going to try the flaxseeds and drinking more water because I'm not a huge fan of water and I hardly drink anything other than juice or milk.
My boyfriend who is usually so confident is starting to think I'm not attracted to him but he is by far the most gorgeous and sexy man I have ever seen in my life. It's causing us to fight a lot and nearly break up a lot. It's gotten to the point where I'm telling him he can go sleep with other people because I can't get wet enough for us to have the sex he wants.
I'm completely heartbroken about this because I love this man so much but my stupid vag won't do what I'm feeling at the time. I get turned on by him and I feel great about making such a connection with him.
I've never had an orgasm before, either, but I think that's something not related to this. I think that's more of a psychological thing for me because I do get close every once in a while but I stop.
Anyway, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's dry as a desert.
im 18 i lov my bf and have sex with him almost every night and have been with him for about 4 or 5 years and im havin the same problems so does anybody have any advise for me and please no rude ppl im just askin for advise so if u dnt have anything nice to say dnt say anything....
heres my problem.... i get VERY wet like everyday...but not when it comes to having sex. During the day my panties will be wet if im feeling horny... i havnt had sex in over 4 months and last night i hooked up and was really dry! why am i dry when it counts?! very frustrating...any ideas?
I'm 19, and have this problem occasionally. I've finally narrowed down all the things that are problems for me, personally. It might help some of you. It's taken a lot of heartbreak to finally realize what's going on with my body, but I feel like this information needs to be shared.
1. Hydration - Alcohol, caffeine, and things in this category seriously dehydrates you, and can keep you from becoming wet. Be sure to drink lots of water throughout the day.
2. Your Mind - It's hard for women to let everything go. But honestly, you have to. The more you think about getting wet, the less you will. The same goes for orgasms. (P.S. addieindiegirl and everyone else who's having issues with orgasms: 90% of women can't orgasm unless they have clitoral stimulation. There are certain positions which maximize this stimulation, but often this takes a long time. Other options include using a position where he can also use his fingers to stimulate you. This stimulation will also help you stay wet. For starters, try laying on the edge of a bed.)
3. Your Emotional State - We tend to build things up in our head. Just like all things in life, you have to be confident. Don't worry about getting wet, or it just won't happen. You also have to be confident in your body image. Believe that you are beautiful - obviously your man thinks so. Any negative thoughts during or before sex, especially about oneself, can be extremely detrimental to your sexual well-being.
4. FOREPLAY and "Duringplay" - So often when we're younger, we're used to making out for long periods of time. However, as we have sex more and more frequently, we rush to the main course without giving our bodies the proper amount of time to warm up. Take the extra time before to fool around, and also perhaps during. I know no one wants to stop, but if you take short breaks to play with each other, you won't get out of the mood, and it will help keep you stimulated, without drying out.
5. A Healthy Diet - Most women are concerned about their weight, but don't think about their diet affecting their sex life. However, it does. Not only does it affect how you feel about yourself, but it affects how your body performs as well. Extremely fatty foods slow the body down, and make it harder for you to stay wet. Basically, all the suggestions to eat flax seeds and/or Omega acids boil down to the body not having the proper nutrients it needs. The healthier you eat, the more likely your body is to perform naturally. Loading up on tons of processed foods, anything deep fried or with excessive amounts of unhealthy fat, as well as too much sugar can slow down your natural processes and cause a deficit in the nutrients you are consuming. This negatively affects your libido and your ability to stay wet.
6. Routine - If you do the same thing all the time, you know what to expect, and can easily get bored. Mix it up a little. Have fun. The surprise and anticipation of something new can be a tremendous motivator. Just like your normal muscles stop being effective if you do the same workouts over and over because of muscle memory, your sex life suffers from routine. Your largest sex organ - your BRAIN - needs stimulation, and mental stimulation can be aided by the excitement of something new.
I hope this helps. If anyone has any questions regarding anything I've said, I can be reached at nickolasandandrina @ yahoo . com. I hope this helps, as this is a terribly problem to have, especially for all of us that hate lube. Basically, it comes down to taking care of your body. After all, you don't expect your car to perform at it's best when it needs something. Similarly, you can't perform at YOUR best when you need something, whatever it may be.
If any of u are using douche more than once a week or once a month then that could be the issue! It's dries you out & prevents your body from being able to my your jj juicy.... U will get wet if u did douche it just takes your body a long time to build back up to where it should or needs to be.... Your body can get rid of the smells & scents own it's own. When u douche u are not giving your body the chance to do it's job.... My Gynecologist said that doucheing is not good @ all for this very reason.. She said that nothing but soap & water should be down there... u know when it's just u washing & deodorizing... It's ok to use the fds & so on but u shouldn't spray it directly on it... just the top where hair grows & maybe on the inner thighs..... Hope this helps....
Im 33 yrs old, and am goin thru the same S***! I myself thgt i was going thru this problem alone. I used to get wet all the time..i was even called the "Faucet"lol!. its very nerve racking that i dont get as wet anymore. I have a very high sexual attraction towards him but im jus not as wet as i would like to be.Sometimes not wet at all and its embarrassing. Its very intresting to know that flaxseed and water could help solve this problem. Im goin to try it and i hope it works.
Urgh this is frustrating, I used to get wet just thinking about sex or reading a steamy novel or seeing a sex scene on tv but now..nothing. My daughter just turned 1 and i thought i wasnt getting wet anymore bc i had had a baby but that itd eventualy go bak to normal but its been a yr and it still hasnt. I love my spouse but sex it becoming work and i dont want it to b that way! It is such a mood killing whn we fool around and i realize im just not gonna get wet and hav to reach for lube! worse is whn we use the lube and thn half way through its like my body ***** up the moisture and i start to dry up..NO way do i want to stop and reapply lube..this is just awful!
OMG. im so happy i found this page. I'm 18 and i've been experiencing the same symptoms. I dont get wet during sex. its embarrasing and causes me to tell my bf no, even when im in the mood. none of my friends have this problem so no one can relate. im going to try the flax seeds and ill post again in about a week or so!! does anybody know an alternative to flax seeds/drinking more water??
I've been having the exact same problem. I'm 19 & only been with one person, my bf, for almost 2 years now. My bf and I have gotten into fights about this too. Its so embarrassing and I want to have sex, but I don't want him to think i'm not attracted to him cause I am! I love him with all my heart and want to have that connection with him during sex, but its hard when i cant even get wet. I'm on birth control so that might play a factor. If anyone has tried flaxseed and drinking more water please let me know if it worked. This is taking a toll in our relationship and i'm tired of letting this happen. I want to enjoy sex again and make our relationship stronger by fixing this huge issue.
Just to add another story to the list, I'm 18 and just recently I've been having these problems with the love of my life, who is insanely attractive and I love everything about him. He and I used to be fine, so the fact that it's so suddenly becoming a problem is what's upsetting my boyfriend the mot because he is convinced something has changed about how I feel about him when that is not the case at all. If anything, I love him a thousand times more today than I did yesterday and it has always been like that. I'm a little bit concerned that I'm getting a UTI because I have gotten one twice before and once you get a UTI once, you're more susceptable to get them again and it sounds like that can dry you up down there. UTI's happen by not drinking enough water, wearing bathing suit bottoms for too long, or not changing your underwear frequently enough (cotton underwear is better for your vagina as it is more breathable). These might help with prevention and/or remedies... My biggest problem is not drinking enough water so I'm going to start doing that.
Just as another side note, I just got Implanon implanted in my arm about a month ago, which is a form of birth control, and that MIGHT be why, but I don't think so... But if anyone else has Implanon and is experiencing this, please say so! I'll keep checking in because there might be a correlation!
Im 21 years old and have been having the same problems. I have been only dating my boyfriend a month but the fact when we first had sex I couldnt stay wet. Its been like this for a year now that I cant get wet. Im a sex freak. I love the choking, biting, pulling hair and holding down. But even when Im super turned on it doesn work. Im on the birth control also, could that be a problem????
In my opinion, nickolasandandrina has the most helpful answer.
Ladies, it's all a state of mind. I too, have this issue, but the more we stress about it, the worse it gets! Solution? DON'T STRESS!
I'm sixteen and I was the queen of natural lubricant, but summers down south can get pretty dry, so I douse myself in pools and sprinklers and other chlorinated waters. Duh! That's bad! Instead, drinking purified water and a glass if tea every day to keep hydrated is a smarter solution and will not only help our vaginas stay wet, but it will help our skin stay resilient and our bodies healthy.
Also, a common factor in all of our posts are "my bf/fianceé/husband couldn't make me wet so I tried masturbation". When you masturbate, you build up an immunity, like your body does to aspirin. Try not masturbating, and getting a full night's (or day's) rest. Eight hours of sleep is recommended for everyone from the ages 5-25. Perhaps this is the problem? Maybe we should sleep more and worry less.
Fortunately, my boyfriend of two years has discovered the magical world of oral sex and what wonderful things happen when the clitoris and the tongue make contact.
ORAL SEX IS AWESOME. Try it. It's a good way to get in the mood and possibly reach the orgasm so many of us are looking to have.
The "problem" is not always an STD or a bodily dysfunction, but sometimes it's as simple as not taking care of ourselves.
Please consider what I've said, and I'll highlight the main points.
- Don't stress
- Stay hydrated
- Refrain from masturbation
- Sleep more
- Oral sex is awesome
I’ve read every comment on this thread, and I intend to get some flax seed oil on payday, because it’s the only thing that even remotely looks like a possible solution for me.
I’m 26 and my husband and I have been together since I was 17. When I was 22, I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis, which sometimes could make sex painful, but did not dry me out - it was only referred pain, and controllable as long as I managed my diet and drank plenty of water. So that wasn’t too big a deal. But when I was 24, we moved into a house where the water started giving me rashes, and I was sick all the time, then I got a rash on my vagina that was so painful I couldn’t function, couldn’t think, couldn’t even wear panties. I went to different doctors who all tested me for everything under the sun, and could find no reason for it; all they could do for me was to prescribe me painkillers, none of which had much effect. One of them suggested that maybe it was a chemical thing, and after talking to my brother about the house and my problems, he suggested the last tenants might’ve been cooking meth in the basement, where the water tank was. After looking it up, I think that he was right. We moved out of that house as soon as we could, and my situation improved, but I have never fully recovered. I haven’t had rashes anymore, but the skin around my vagina is not as elastic and tears easily, and I no longer seem to be able to produce moisture at any point before, during, or after sex; and no, masturbation isn’t an issue, because masturbation has NEVER worked for me at any point in my life. Neither is pressure an issue, emotional or mental, because I’m not embarrassed about it, and my husband understands and isn’t bothered by it, nor does it make either of us feel inadequate, et cetera. The reason I’ve been searching for a solution is partly because I simply miss having normal sex, spontaneously and without having to be careful not to rip the skin, but also because I can’t even wear tampons or use pads during my period because it‘s too painful to have something touching me all the time; all I can do is wear all black from the waist down and change my panties (always cotton - anything else hurts) frequently while I’m menstruating. As for lubricants, I cannot use them - if I do, I burn for several days afterward, and will usually develop a UTI (which is a major problem, because with the IC, I can‘t tell I have an infection until there’s blood in my urine); the best we can do is for one of us to perform oral sex on the other before penetration. Clitoral stimulation makes no difference. I found that changing to an all natural soap with no perfumes, et cetera in it helped slightly as far as elasticity and pain from touching, but I still produce no moisture. Arousal is not an issue, I drink plenty of water, I have a healthy diet and am at a healthy weight, I exercise regularly (both cardio and strength training), and abstinence from coffee and alcohol make absolutely no difference. Nor does the amount of sleep I get seem to have an effect. I’m well nourished, and I regularly consume Ensure and other supplements that don’t effect my IC just to be sure. I’m on birth control, but I’ve been taking the same pill since I was 16 years old and never had a problem until we lived in that awful house. I have never been pregnant, and I do not douche. As I said, I’ll try the flax seed, but if that only helps due to nutritional deficiency and hydration as one commenter suggested, then it’s not likely to do me any good. I asked my husband about seeing a naturopath and he agreed, but we won’t be able to afford it for a while, as we just spent 10k moving over 2500 miles. So if anyone has any suggestions or advice that might be helpful, if you would email me at ckh-***@**** I would be grateful. Also, I tried to be as detailed as possible in hope that it might help some of the rest of you who are going through the same thing, so if anyone has any questions about my circumstances or remedies I’ve tried, you may feel free to email me as well.
If there is a certain scenario that really turns you on, keep playing it in your head and it will help. Dirty talk is also really a turn on and helps. Lube is good but you should be able to use your own juices to get things flowing...
i too have this problem with wetness in my vagina and sometimes experience a very painful feeling when we have sex and on the bottom of my vagina feels torn sometimes. ive looked at it and see nothing and i know my boyfriend gets upset. i used to leave puddles in the bed, now i barely get wet but my sex drive has decreased also. is it the birth control.??? i need answers please. its not my mind because im confident and not stressed. ive been tested for all stds and all negative. please help. i want sex to be more enjoyable for ME
I have the same problem. I went to doctors and she said it just happens or you have a broken vagina and you need to get it fix goto doctors or clinic if you have no money. And the best lube is olive oil. It helps the vigina (vagina) doesn't hurt it or mess up. It better for you. And yes the kind you cook with. Always have lube. Never use a man spit, because our vaginas can't handle it. Hope it helps
I happened to stumble upon this thread and oddly had to read every post. I say oddly because I was googling "why can't my boyfriend get hard sometimes" because I've recently confirmed my suspicions that he is bi and I was pathetically trying to confirm my fear that he is thinking about men and I can't please him anymore. Now I'm 95 % convinced that we're both extremely sleep deprived and now he has anxiety that I might think what i did because I know now, but then I got side tracked here... I couldn't stop reading this thread because I have bouts of vaginal dryness and, out of paranoia from the std concern, sleep deprivation, and my once believed modest boyfriend's admitted sexual history (going on 5th yr. Together), I have to go get tested ASAP. Thanks for the alert, but boo for additional anxiety ;).. however, I am 28 yrs. Old and have outlived many dry spells never questioning what the problem was.. I always knew... and I'm so stricken with some sort of emotion because I haven't seen it in this forum... I'm not unaware that certain issues (age, health, hormones, stress, medication, etc..) cause vaginal dryness, but it seems highly unlikey that these these issues are even issues for so many teenage girls and middle-aged women ... if im wrong, there's lots of money to be made on flaxseeds :) (yucky btw) and someone should write cnn because a ton of women need them... please, don't feel insulted, I'm just too blunt sometimes :( but, honestly, there's no sarcasm intended.
Here's what I've known to be true about myself...
how it feels to get someone hot and horny over me is what gets me wet and I thought that this was true ...well, for pretty much everyone... maybe, just egocentrism...sexual pleasure is very much in my head and if, what I like to call, sexual ADD sets in, I dry up like a sand dune. What i mean by sexual ADD, is actually emotions and distractions that cause self-fulfilling prophecies. if I feel like I'm letting my partner down in any way, displeasing them, or they'd be physically happier with someone else for even a split second, no lube is going to last more than two thrusts. If my partner gets impatient and/or gives up, I could have a week to a year long dry spell because i hate to disappoint more than to be disappointed and my trust that this person loves me or even could like me after I've been a disappointment floats out the door and I can't truly feel sexual pleasure myself with them until I get that trust back. If he's said anything to make me feel ugly in any way shape or form or my body is recovering from trauma like child birth or just too much chocolate, pizza, and beer last week , I could be dry for a month with recurring issues. Then you can't forget the everyday duty distractions like I have to get to this report done, get to the store.... or maybe, you're angry at anyone..Trust me, I've had no fail equipment be useless if I can't focus. there's a million distractions that I could list off, but what concerns me is that so many of you have convinced yourselves that there is somethimg wrong with you, when, whether or not you'll admit it, sex is very emotional for women and we over analyze quite often. This to me, is why we fake it. Yes, put on lube that we hate or are allergic to in my case, and try to further convince our partners that porn is meant for men and women (it may be stimulating for us to watch, but it was made for men as all women who don't know should be informed). I know medical conditions exist, but I think most of us just need to feel a huge amount of trust for our partner, be only there at the moment, and realize that, if we don't uphold stereotypical sexual performances year round, that is actually normal for women ANd Men who, judging by a vast array of forums are just as concerned that they have aged 50 years over night when there dicks don't get hard at the usual moments they stereotypically should. Senses are dulled with repeated stimuli even when we don't Want them to be and we also need to remember that our bodies have much more to deal with than our sex drives on a daily basis and I feel ridiculously female having a bachelors degree in biology and chemistry and ever thinking that normal people should have bodies that do whatever it ought to do according to popular culture, but it reminds me how much we rely on societal standards to determine how we should feel, act, and look. Sexuality really should be discussed more openly with less judgement. Good forum ladies! :)
I just want to say I've been battling this problem for almost 2 years now (I'm 24). I cannot get wet, whether I'm with my boyfriend or alone. I never want to have sex or masturbate either, when I used to do both almost daily. I've been to doctors and they say my hormone levels are normal and there's nothing they can suggest other than lube.
It's terrible, and it's a vicious circle because mentally you feel frustrated and "broken" which ends up continuing the physical problem. Sex is now an extremely stressful event and I would rather not even have sex anymore.
I take fish oil supplements but it hasn't helped. Maybe I should try flax...
So I'm 19, and have this same issue, wetness, and sometimes pain, it's not a constant thing, but it takes me forever to even get a small amount of wetness, it just started a few months ago. I went to the doctor for an annual pap, and I had vaginosis. It's actually pretty common, it's when the pH balance in your vagina is off. I took some antibiotics and was fine. My doctor said that it was most likely the vaginosis that was causing the pain and dryness. So my boyfriend and I when to Kroger and got Astroglide, seriously the best lube ever, not sticky, or flavored (which can cause vaginosis, along with scented tampons), it's silicone lubricant and by far the best. No burning either ladies, which is an issue for me with other lubes. So for those out there who mentioned an issue with not knowing which kind, and all that jazz, I say to try it.
That was a few months ago, and vaginosis is no longer an issue, but i felt I would mention it for it may a possibility for solving somes problem. But, I'm taking the suggestion of flaxseed, and all I drink is h2o, My bf and I have gone through a 35 pack of nestle in about 4 days. Serious drinkage, and I just bought flaxseed today, he was super supportive about the flaxseed, and I'm changing my diet to basically everything fresh. fresh friuts, veggies, nuts, and especially water water water. Meat is in my diet of course, but I'm not going as far as to slaughtering the cow myself, but staying away from deli and fast food, which are processed meats. oh and box food, which ***** bc I love pizza rolls lol, but my sex life and emotional connection is super special to me and when my vagina is dried up like dried out fruit it makes me feels less confident. So I know I've been yacking on for sometime now, and I just wanted to inform everyone that I'm trying basically all the suggestions here, and will let you know how it goes with in the next week!
I'm having the same problem! My Bf & I have bn together 6months & he's amazing I also used to get super wet & now aghh! Not only does it make it painful for me but less enjoyable for him. Really hurts my self esteem lol.
get some pure oil, like vegetable oil, and rub some around your vagina and on the inside of your vagina wall. do it several times daily and it will increase your ability to naturally get wet during intercourse.
Thank God i found this post cause i was scared i was the only. I've been having this problem since i started having sex at first i thought i was weird or something, then i found that it could probably be all in my head meaning i'm very self-conscious and thought the lack of confidence was efffecting my sex life, false (well partly), cause i tried doing it in the pitch black darkness, we couldn't see nothing but the whiteness of our teeth, i figured since he couldn't see my body that would solve the problem. :-( it didnt but now after reading this post i think i found the problem. I don't drink water unless i have or it's the only drink to quinch my thirst in the house, i used to douche, and i've been on and off a diet jumping from junk food to carrots without giving my body time to adjust. So i'm going to try the flaxseeds, drink more water, and talk to my boyfriend cause frankly it's embarrassing.
I've been with my boyfriend for two years and now I'm not getting wet. I love him n wanna have sex with him but now he thinks I'm no attracted to him the way I use to be but I am. My sex drive is down. I do not get in the mood at all and I'm only 22. I am not on birth control so i know thats not the problem. I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me before I read all these comments. If there's something i can do please tell me.
I've been having this problem for quite awhile now, ever since I was 19. I'm overweight so I don't know if that's contributing to it but it's frustrating cause me and my boyfriend are long distance and whenever we hook up I get extremely wet the first night we're together and then boom it's gone. I get turned on and my boyfriend is by no means ugly at all. I'm VERY attracted to him. I'm thinking of trying the flaxseed but should I eat them straight or get supplements? And I know I need to up my water intake as I don't drink the recommended amount... you can reach me at ***@**** if anyone has found a solution please email me and let me know, thanks!
Regarding your thoughtful post! Thanks for taking the time. Don't know your age, but really appreciate your sincerity and SO agree with all you have stated. Yours and some nicolaus.... 4-11-11 were so genuine and helpful.
Just wanted to let you know. All these people are so young. I don't really believe some of them. And I'm sure no one would believe mine. I will be 70--I hate to even say it!!! on Dec 24th. (woman) Used to be very "healthy"!! But no sex life since 2000. SAD! but true. Until recently. But can't really say we are... as I have severe dryness. Almost feels like the walls have caved in. I am seeing a doctor. But I think the water and flaxseed and fish.... will relly help. Esp the water. Simple. I am VERY healthy otherwise. Workout. Body in great shape. Though I had a complete hysterectomy in ? 1992?? So that really accounts for the dryness...can't take any estrogen or the patch because of liver lesions--had a resection surgery in 2000. Excuse me for telling you all this--but all these 15-21 year olds!!! I can't believe it. And I really appreciate your comments. My guy is SO WONDERFUL, patient and FUN!!! We are trying all kinds of lubs. And I'm not embarrassed at all. But I love your encouragement. And you may not believe this--because I hardly can either--but my Sweetheart is 50 and I can't even bear to say that. It's unreal. But it's holy held true!!! I can't even tell anyone yet... But we're headed that way. I'm thinking of posting something--maybe later. No one will believe this... but maybe I will help and encourage someone else out there, as you and "nicolaus" have me. Thanks for your time in posting your comments. Much appreciated!!
Regarding your thoughtful post! Thanks for taking the time. You are only 19?? but I really appreciate your sincerity and your advice. Yours and some "homester" posted on 3-6-10 were so genuine and helpful.
Just wanted to let you know. All these girls are so young---to be dry shocks me. I don't really believe some of them, maybe they are. ?? And I'm sure no one would believe my story. I will be 70--I hate to even say it!!! on Dec 24th. (woman) Feel like 50!! Used to be very "healthy"!! But no sex life since 2000. SAD! but true. Until recently. But can't really say we are... as I have severe dryness. Almost feels like the walls have caved in. I am seeing a doctor. But I think the water and flaxseed and fish.... will relly help. Esp the water. Simple. I am VERY healthy otherwise. Workout. Body in great shape. Though I had a complete hysterectomy in ? 1992?? So that really accounts for the dryness...can't take any estrogen or the patch because of liver lesions--had a resection surgery in 2000. Excuse me for telling you all this--but all these 15-21 year olds!!! I can't believe it. And I really appreciate your comments. My guy is SO WONDERFUL, patient and FUN!!! We are trying all kinds of lubs. And I'm not embarrassed at all. But I love your encouragement. And you may not believe this--because I hardly can either--but my Sweetheart is 50 and I can't even bear to say that. It's unreal. But it's holy hell true!!! I can't even tell anyone yet... But we're headed that way. I'm thinking of posting something--maybe later. No one will believe this... but maybe I will help and encourage someone else out there, as you and "homester" have me. Thanks for your time in posting your comments. Much appreciated!!
OMG! thank god i found this page! i true thought i was the only one!! im 18 and have been having the same problem for the last YEAR!!! can anyone help me? im to shy to speak to a doctor and i drink lots of water anyway? i had a really bad past relationship could this be part of the cause?
First and foremost you are only 15 and there should be absolutely no rush into sex with anyone at this point in your life, I understand we all have nutural biological urges but I recommend HIGHLY to masterbate get to know yourself bette what you like what you want. NOT what the horny sixteen year old boy is telling you to get in your pants. BELIEVE ME the risks out weigh the benefits of having multiple partners at such a young age. Think about pregnancy, STD's, possible DEATH and chronic illness there of....NOT WORTH IT. I know your old enough to make descisions for yourself and I sincerely want you to begin to make he BEST possible ones as you enter into such an important time in your life.Like everyone has said try drinking more water, try lube, try fish oil and flaxseeds....if that doesnt help GO to a doctor you may very well have an STD. Be good to yourself and remember YOUR the most important person in any relationship you have. Enjoy yourself ofcourse but be careful my dear its a wild world out there and the best thing you can do for yourself is get an education, eventually a job that you enjoy and are passionate about and then you can focus on how to please your man in the bed room....I wish you the best of LUCK HEALTH and happiness in all things.
i cant get wet either i have been with my partner nearly 3yrs i have two children and am 8mths pregnant with my third i get really turned on but when my partner goes to put it in instantly goes dry and is sooooo painful lube helps a bit until it drys out again HELLLLPPPPPP this also crushes my self esteem i constantly cry and get worked up about it my partner says he understands but i always think the worst
I am 17 and this has been going on for about 2 yrs already and I've been having sex with the same guy for 3 yrs ! My boyfriend says it's ok he will jst use his spit , but I'm tired of that ! I want to get wet myself . It's really frustrating . Idk what happened , I used to get soaked . And I got tested for everything ! And It all came bck negative ! I guess I will jst talk too my doctor , but I'm glad that I'm not alone in this !
Wow this is a long thread. I'm 24 years old and have been with my boyfriend for about two years. We use to have sex more than once a day, but due to life stressers (we're both in school and work full time) it's down to a few times a week.. maybe. Sometimes though, and more often than not, we are constantly having to lube each other and I know it's me. Last night he asked about it, why can't I get wet? The truth is I have no idea. A year ago I would drip haha. Now then I can't get anything. I'm going to try drinking more water but I don't know what would cause the sudden change..
Im so happy to have found a forum about this because Im suffering from the same problem. Im 18 about to be 19 and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years and have only ever been with each other. I find him extremely attractive and when we want to have sex Im aroused but its like my body doesnt agree with my mind I just cant get wet. We have tried ky but we both hate lubs we want natural. I have been dealing with this problem for about a year but it has gotten progressively worse. I got diagnosed with Crohns disease about a year ago and have alot of stress but I dont think this is the problem. Its hard and is causing problems in our relationship because he thinks its him and that Im no longer attracted to him. If anyone has some suggestions I would be soooo grateful. Thanks:)
I'm 19, and soo glad I found this extremely long thread. I've been with my boyfriend for only 4 months. We used to have sex every time we saw each other.. Everyday.
Our relationship is now on the rocks and I know it's my fault, I feel, as another lady said "broken" and like there's something wrong with me.
I go to a naturopath when I can afford it and only recently asked about birth control and how it actually affects me. I have been using the pill on and off since I was 16.
When I look back on my life during that time it was a roller-coaster ride from hell. Depression, loss of libido, feeling like I'm worthless and should just give up. Even after having a great day of exercise or hanging with friends, I'd still feel like I meant nothing to anyone.
My naturopath told me that it is due to a hormone imbalance, your body doesn't know how to cope with synthetic menstruation. I am trying a different brand of pill as I could not find a non hormonal form of contraception. My boyfriend can't use condoms as he looses his erection straight away.
I have come to conclude that eating healthy, cutting out alcohol (especially beer) due to overload of yeast) drinking more water, pineapple juice (for taste), trying the flax seeds and doing activities to make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world will help. Sex is all about emotions, if you feel on top of the world you're going to feel even better on top of him.
I am finding it really hard to convince my man that he is doing everything right when he can't get me wet. Is there anyway I can make him feel even more important in the meantime while I fix my own body..?
I will also give an update about changing brands of the pill and the side effects. Thanks everyone. Hope I could help some of you :)
The best lubricant is you or your partners spit. it is natural and safe, and works really well. that won't solve your problem with lubrication fully because it won't last the whole time but it might help ease it at first until you can lubricate yourself. I would suggest to everyone that you should talk to your doctor or gynecologist because it could be hormonal imbalances or even depression/anxiety issues. Many birth controls change your hormone levels and chemicals in your body to where you are not as attracted to someone as you may have been before.
I'm 17 and I had that same problem start up a month ago.
I couldn't get wet at all, which is not normal for me.
On top of that, sex was difficult and painful, and it itched.
But then finally after weeks of suffering and having some tension
with the boyfriend, it went away.
Me and my girlfriend are both 18 and we have had this problem for pretty much the entire time we have been having sex. She gets really wet to the point where it goes through her underwear some times, but apparently this is not wet enough haha. As soon as we try to get it in it just does not go at all without lube, EVER. Doesn't feel natural to have to use all the time. What on earth is the problem in this case??? Please help!!!
so can birthcontrol pills make u where u cant get wet ? im only 18 and im having problems wit staying or getting wet.... i dont rlly like KY i just want to find out why i cant get wet anymore... ive been on birthcontrol for a year now bc i had sergury. they had to remove a cysit that had burst and i had internal bleeding and now sense i can remember after taken the pill i am having this problem...i want sex and i get turned on and stuff but have trouble getting wet idk what to do, should i stop taken birthcontrol or wat... cuz i cant stand this
Did you take flaxseed oil or the ground flaxseed? i think theres two types, golden and brown? Im not sure but im curious since you said it works and I am considering buying the flaxseed now :) please reply ASAP:) thank you
Im 25 and i have the same problem for 5yrs now, and ive
NEVER had this problem before. From the moment i stop gettin wet i went straight to my GB they put me on a list to see a sex therapists but it turns out i had to travel 10miles twice a week to see these people and at the time me and my ex-bf didnt have any money travel so never went but they did send me info on how to solve the problem and what causes it. we try EVERYTHING but nonthin worked! that was 5yrs ago i have been with many guys since then, but the weird thing is, i do get wet and i dont have any problems when i first get with a new guy but after havin sex with the same person about 3 or 4 times i go dry again, then i have to find a way of gettin out of sex as long as posable but all of my relationships over the yrs have never lasted long bcos of it. ive been single for a yr now, and i dont want a relationship cos im actually been put off by having sex now and that REALLY upsets me bad! It scares me that i will never b with anyone again. Someone plz help
HI, I am 28 and I haven’t gotten wet since I was 16. It literally dried up after being raped repeatedly. I have been to numerous doctors, have spent a ton of money on herbs and lubs and so forth. I have also shared in the embarrassing emotions, not feeling like a woman, sad, angry..you name it. I felt it. The best thing for you to do first, is to consult your doctor. I received resistance when I was young, but make your doctor listen. Get lab work done to make sure nothing is wrong with your different hormone levels. All my tests came back ok, which literally had me in tears. I needed something to be wrong so it could get fixed. The best lube is Astroglide. The best! If it never comes back, learn to embrace your body and accept it, work around it…its not easy, but its doable.
Hi, I'm having some issues staying wet during sex. I start off strong but about five minutes into it I dry up and it becomes very painful for me to contiune. My husband dosen't understand why I don't enjoy sex anymore. I just act like I have a headache just to avoid sex so I won't disappiont him.. I need to find an answer. Please help.
I have had the same problem for the last two weeks. I'm only 20 and my fiancée and I haven't had any problems like this before. I do have a hormone problem, but I take medicine for it, so they are not out of whack. Help!!!
I found this great website about the kinds of natural supplements which are claimed to work to increase cervical mucous. The site is aimed at women looking to conceive, but I imagine this would work for many of the issues listed above. I am going to try evening primrose, L arginine and the flaxseeds, let me know if any of these work for anyone, I will post again in a few weeks if anything works out:
your way to young for that. And im guessing he's an older guy if you're afraid he thinks you're a little girl because of it? If I was you i'd wait a few years and not make the mistake too many people have made. You're just a kid.
I had been having the same thing- at first I thought it was because my boyfriend could get turned on like that and I couldn't keep up. I've been researching and someone suggested to drink more water. I didn't drink nearly enough water as I should have been, so I upped my intake and I haven't had a problem since :) Hope you get relief.
i am going through the same problem. i am on birth control pills csuse i already have 2 kids and i dont want anymore. but ever since i started the pill before my kids and after .. my sex drive decreased alot as well as for me to get wet again..... ever since i first started the pill after a year on it is when i started to have problems its been 3 years now and i tryed everything nothing seems to work. have you found something that is working for you?
Vaginal dryness can also occur for other common reasons like:
certain medications, like hormonal contraceptives, SSRIs (antidepressants) or allergy medications
certain health issues, like diabetes, hysterectomy, pregnancy, yeast or bacterial infections or allergies
sexually transmitted infections
low or decreased libido (sexual desire)
not having sex as often as you're used to
menopause or perimenopause (at which point, if you want to have vaginal sex, for many women, lube just will no longer be optional) or declining levels of estrogen for some other reason
stress, fatigue, depression or anxiety
sensitivity to things like laundry detergents, vaginal washes, douches, and any other chemical in your environment
Too, keep an eye on if this is only happening with your partner, or is also happening when you masturbate. Sometimes, we're just not feeling it with a partner, and it's the relationship or sexual dynamics which are the root cause of dryness and a lack of enough arousal to produce adequate lubrication.
After all, the most common reason for vaginal dryness is a plain old lack of high sexual arousal or desire. Consider that it's possible that what you think is a lot of sexual arousal may not be so much after all: it just may be as high as you've experienced it so far, and as your life goes on, your attitudes about sexuality change, you have different relationships or sexual experiences, you may well discover that you can be a lot more aroused later than you have been to date.
It's precarious and provocative, but I feel like I should probably also address that it's possible that vaginal intercourse -- from the perspective of women, at least -- may well be a more reproductive activity than a sexual one. In other words, we already know it is the activity which can get us pregnant, and we also know that intercourse, all by itself, often doesn't stimulate our most sexually-sensitive parts and that the majority of women don't get off with intercourse.
So, if we're looking to have intercourse be this thing that we're always ready for every day of the month, or always get super-excited about (which is going to be tough for women who know it's not going to result in orgasm and/or be all that exciting), that our sexual selves are always all into, that simply may not be a very realistic expectation, especially without some additions, like adding manual sex or masturbation to intercourse, or like adding a lubricant when we need one because it feels good. That may also mean changing the way we have sex so that intercourse isn't our main course, but a more occasional kind of sex.
I think it's sound to entertain the theoretical possibility -- though this may well not be correct or speak for the sexual reality or experiences of all women -- that there's a reason vaginal intercourse is often most comfortable when we're ovulating (and thus, have some extra lubrication due to the changes in the fluidity of our cervical mucus), because that just may be an activity which is more about making babies than having sex. That isn't to say it's all it has to be, mind you. It doesn't, especially if that isn't all it's about for you (I know when I have it, it's certainly not for me). Rather, I'm merely suggesting that using lubricants with some frequency for vaginal sex that's about pleasure, not just procreation, makes sense for more than one reason. For those talking about wanting things to be natural, and avoiding lubes while still having intercourse, that may be something to think about.
If the issue is about partners (or you) having unrealistic expectations of your body, the problem isn't your body: it's those expectations. By all means, self-lubricating usually is part of high levels of sexual arousal, so if you're just not aroused enough, you both can remedy that by doing more to GET you aroused, and being sure you're only having sex when you want to, and having the kinds of sex you find pleasurable and exciting. But how much, how little, and when women will self-lubricate still varies a lot between women. You and a partner need to accept your body as it is: part of partnered sex is celebrating just that, the uniqueness of our bodies. Our expectations of our bodies or those of a partner sexually shouldn't be based on anyone else, but only on each other.
So, what would I suggest as a plan of action for persistent vaginal dryness that's driving you nuts?
1) See if using lube helps, and if so, use it when you need to. Yep: I suggest that first, particularly if you want to have comfortable vaginal sex while still investigating if there isn't an actual problem that needs address. Alternately, take a break from sex full-stop until you experiment with some other alternatives.
2) See a sexual healthcare provider who earnestly provides sexual healthcare. In other words, you're probably going to want to see an OB/GYN or sex therapist, not a general family doctor, and you're going to want to ask that healthcare provider about their background in sexual health, and if they feel equipped to really deal with sexual issues. If they don't squirm or turn red when you ask that, or blow you off, that's a very good sign.
3) Do the best you can to be honest with that healthcare provider and fill them in on your health history -- as well as the current status of your relationship and how you feel about your sexuality -- in as much depth as possible.
4) Try what they suggest, be that a switch in a medication, a visit to a nutritionist, more masturbation, talk therapy, estrogen creams, drinking more water, really only having sex when you are VERY aroused and that's what you want, taking some time away from intercourse, and -- most likely -- using lube as you need to. Your doctor may even suggest using a vaginal lubricant daily, even if you aren't having sex that day.
5) In the midst of all of this, whatever the result, take a look at your own body image, sexuality and gender issues. If you have ideas like that being dry sometimes isn't feminine or womanly, like you're "less of a woman" because you're not dripping wet 24/7, or that something is wrong with your body for most likely functioning normally, see if you can't work on ditching those ideas.
6) Let go of negative attitudes about lube and -- once more -- use it when you need to. Really, truly, honestly, feeling frustrated and disgruntled and either avoiding lube, or staying frustrated when you're using lube, is only going to be one more way to keep yourself from self-lubricating (stress inhibits arousal, after all) and having your sex life be something you truly enjoy.
I know how u feel bc me and my husband fight all the time bc he gets frustrated and just gives up and doesnt want to have sex....but i havent find anything that helps bc lubs we both hate and also we r trying for our first child and he comes to early when there is lub put on....
im 22.. going on 23... sometimes i can get wet but then i dont stay for very long.. and other times i g=cant even get wet... even though i love what my boyfriend does to me... it is very frustrating .. i feel something is wrong with me ... and then my boyfriend feels hes not doing his part... and his is... and id rather get my natural wetness then to use lubes... HELP!!!
I just got the Implanon about 2 months ago, and I'm experiencing this problem. My bf has always been able to get me wet, and now I can't get wet, I don't ejaculate anymore, or have an orgasm. So I was thinking maybe it could be the birth control, but as I've been reading everyone else's posts I see more theories that make a lot of sense to me. However, I do hope this problem goes away soon as for everyone else also.
Im having this same issue and im only 25. Ive tried ky and a bunch of other lubes nuthin wrks. I do drink alot of caffine so im going to cut back on that to see if it wrks any other suggestions bc this has been an emotional roller coaster
I'm kinda in the same position, I'm 21 and I love sex its great but I haven't had sex in a month and I've been super horny and just doing it myself and I can get myself super wet but the other night I was with a guy and I just couldn't get turned on or wet. I drink a lot so Idk if they has something to do with it but I feel like if I use lube that the guy is gonna be like well I can't keep her turned on or wet enough then he gets turned off, so any feed back would be awesome!
I am having the same problem. I am 27 and i never had a problem like this.I really be in the mood to have sex with my bf but when he try to stick it in i am dry and that really hurts. could someone pls help me.
I have this exact same problem and it is beginning to have very negative effects on my self esteem, I am 17 years old and this has become a huge issue for me, although my partner is more understanding. I have had a pap smear and the doctor said it all seems healthy, I try using lube but it is a bit of a buzz kill and I have changed my pill because i thought that might be the problem but I still can not get wet on my new pill. Even after having loads of foreplay.. still nothing. And I am sooooooooooo attracted to the guy I am with, he's incredible and I'm beginnging to feel extremely inadequate, like my body is not able to complete it's proper functions and I feel not good enough. There are obviously a lot of people going through the same thing but there doesnt seem to be many solutions!!
Hello, my fiance n i have been together almost 5 years. Last year i noticed this problem anf went to the gyno. I found out i have a problem with having cysts on my ovaries and this can cause you to either not get wet ir stay wet and can deff cause pain. I had pain for almost 5 months. Sometimes i would end up balling my eyes out from pain. Please go to the doctor. Mine have gone away but my doctor was ready to due surgery on me when all of a sudden i no linger got them. Go to the gyno!
I am 24yrs old now and I have been having this dryness issue for months. I am in a triad relationship, so with both my girl and boyfriend I am just dry! It's uncomfortable because my girlfriend is 37 (boyfriend is 36) and she gets wet all day everyday, on command!!!. This dry spell has NEVER been the case for me. They keep trying to help me relax but there must be an easier way right?!? I'm drinking 8 glasses of water today, minimum, and I'm making sure to eat three hours before and digest. I'll do this for a few days and then also get the flaxseeds from GMC or CVS.... If none of that works then.... Well it'll be back to google for me -__-
Hey ladies. I have the same problem I've been with my fiance for 5 years! And for the last three years I haven't been able to get wet at ALL! Like literally at all. I am very attracted to him and he's very sweet even when I really WANT to I just can't!! Idk why! And its becoming a very huge problem in our relationship because I'm now avoiding all sexual contact because it hurts so bad because I just can't get wet. And we have already tried numerous topical gels and stuff and it still hurts when he put it in and the gel only lasts for a couple minuets and then I'm dry again and it just hurts the whole time like a knife stabbing inside me! We've tried four play and oral and nothing seems to work! He thinks I am not into him at all anymore and I am I love him and even when I do want sex it doesn't work, could I have something wrong with me medically? Do I need hormone shots or something? Idk what to do and every time I go to my Dr. Or gynecologist they just tell me to apply lube and we've already been doing that for a years and its just not working and Ia very uncomfortable the whole time because I'm in so much pain, anyone know why I'm in so much pain down there?? I just don't know what to do anymore and its really affecting our relationship as a couple. Any feedback please!!!!
By jamie southern | Feb 25, 2007
I think i have what is called vaginal dryness. Normally im rather moist but when it comes to sexual intercourse i seem to dry up almost instantly as soon as i get touched, it causes friction and its embarassing that i cant make my self wet when im arroused. Most of the research i have already done has told me it is 95% of the time stress related, but this doesnt help me to solve the problem, is ther anything i can take or do to keep lubricated?
Tags: vaginal, Health, Women's, Reproductive Health, Women's Health, Research, stress, yeast, Sexual intercourse, Yeast Infections
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3 Comments Post a Comment
Feb 25, 2007
Buy some good waterbased lube. A lot of people like Astroglide (which you can find in any drug store), or if you're prone to yeast infections, you might prefer a glycerin-free lube, like Slippery Stuff. Regardless, you can go to any sex toy store (in person or online) and find an astonishing variety of lubes :-)
Feb 26, 2007
Are you TTC. If you are I advise using Pre-seed as it does not kill off sperm like other lubricants.
Its not expensive and you can get internal or external.
Hope this helps if you are TTC.
I have used it for he first time this month and am awaiting the 1st march hoping for a BFp!
less than a minute
To: jamie southern
Hi, I know this is a late reply but I am sure that if you no longer suffer from this issue that others may and hopefully this will help someone.
I was a sufferer from vaginal dryness for a long time, to the point that sex became unbearable. I hated having sex because I knew my dryness would frustrate him. Being a woman, there is nothing more embarrassing than having to pull out lube. So I am sure that is not what you want to hear so I am not going to tell you (although lube is a little less frustrating to him if you explain to him that you arent wet because he didn't turn you on, he won't be so mad about applying some lube then lol)
First, perform what I like to call "the test." When you are alone, masterbate by clitoral stimulation and bring yourself an orgasm. There is no reason to be embarrassed about your dryness alone so just lay back and enjoy the feelings that you havent been able to experience because of your embarrassment from dryness. If you aren't wet before orgasm, you should be wet after, the vagina just gets wet after orgasm. If your body has succeeded in secreting after orgasm, then you are able to get wet. If not, then go talk to your gyno, you may have a serious problem (std).
If you did get wet after orgasm, then most of our stress about the situation should be gone you know you can get wet, you just have to figure out how.
First Solution: Inform him that you cannot become completely aroused unless he gives you an orgasm using oral sex first. This way he will make you orgasm with his already wet tongue and wont realize that you werent wet before you orgasmed.
Second Solution: If your plant is dry, what do you do, water it. My second suggestion and the most successful method for me was to DRINK WATER.!!! Your vagina cannot be moisturized if your body is not and the best way is to DRINK WATER! After I started drinking 80 oz of water a day (your weight in ounces divided by two) I became so wet my man couldn't handle it!! so cut out your juices and sodas and just drink more water!!
Third solution: Moisturize your vagina. Get some vaginal lotion or gel and insert it into your vagina. Squeeze your vaginal muscles a few times and masterbate. Allow your juices to mix and mingle with the lotion and gel juices. Let it sit as long as you can bear, I suggest just putting on your clothes and letting it sit all day. Your body will slowly absorb the juices. Then it will be able to replicate it during sex.
I hope this helps somebody!!!!
*I am NOT a health professional and this method has not been tested, this is just what worked for ME*
I am 25, been with my boyfriend for 7 years. It's been off and on sexually for me thruout the relationship. Every once in awhile I am able to get soaking wet when we have foreplay.. But recently on vacation, mind u I was finishing my cycle during our trip, we had passionate sex several times, but nothing. Dry as sand! What Is wrong with me!!!??
I'm so glad other people feel scared and worried about this too and I'm not alone! I've been with my partner for over 3 years and I've never been with anyone else. We used to have sex a lot and everything was great then more recently my dryness has caused him to hurt me a few times so it has made us both really nervous. The lubes help, they really do, but if i have to recommend have ones that contain water or a mix of silicone and water, it works much better. Durex and other brands are too thin and it dries up right away. Plus, girly's secret? That stuff tastes nasty! There's a brand, I think they are called ID, and they really help. Plus they're kind fun so it makes you relax. Sometimes all it is is your own worries and over-thinking the situation. We're a lot more complicated than men, anything going on in our heads can throw us off in bed, we just have to be relaxed and comfortable. When I get really bad I have a movie night or do something fun and romantic and it makes me feel safe and overall it usually helps xx
I recently got on the birth control skyla, which is like mirena, & today and yesterday I had an issue getting wet before sex. I have sex a couple of time before, after getting on this birth control & it wasn't an ssue. I took Aleve both days & found after taking it, I hardly got wet & I couldn't stay wet. I was soaked beforehand though & I was very hydrated. Could it have been the Aleve?
I am 34 years old iv been with my man for almost 3years and I'm have a hard time getting wet and he is starting to think I'm massing around on him but I'm not iv been nothing but faithful to my man like his is my everything I gave up almost everything for my friends, family what should I do and he tells me hus going to leave me if I don't start coming for like I should.
I have the same problem after I had my first son I just dried up and now it just hirts I love sex and now im more worry about when is it gonna start to hirt..what do I do I use to get soak and now im lucky to
Are any of you taking antidepressants? Read about the side effects, that's one of them, there are some depression medicines that actually will do the opposite, one is called Wellbutrin, I take it, also try using coconut oil or vitamin e capsules, as lubricant are better and natural.
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