Depression/Anxiety

[gj143mc]

Hi,I am not sure if this is where I should be posting my question, but really need help.I have been depressed lately since I started working at a new job site (as a preschool teacher aid) and I don’t like it.I have worked as an aide for 2 years and I liked it before because I liked my coworkers.I am a very shy person, and once I don't feel comfortable or intimidated by someone,it is hard for me to function.I feel so useless.I am usually good with kids and I am not doing so well at this site.The kids do not listen to me and I feel like my coworkers don't like me because of this.They are actually nice people but with strong personalities.They have not said anything bad to me,but I still cannot help my feelings. I come home depressed every day and cry to my husband.He gets very worried about me and tells me that if I want I can quit my job,but I know we cannot afford it, especially since I am TTC and would lose my benefits.All this stress is probably the reason why I have not got pregnant.I don't know what to do. I have been absent 4 days now.I called my supervisor and the sub-finder,but i did not call my coworkers.I feel so bad about this and fear that they are upset at me.I try to force myself to call and I just won't do it.I don't know why I have such an extreme fear. I've been like this for the past 4 days,i have the phone in my hand but cannot get myself to dial. It is so frustrating! I feel like I cannot go back to work until I call them.I am so sorry I am ranting,but this is really hard on me right now.I would really appreciate anyone's response and advice. Thank you.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

This is interfering with your ability to make a living.  It is time to get some help from a professional, and maybe a career counselor as well.  No one should be this stressed about a job.

[pixijal]

She's right.  After 4 days, you may not even have a job anymore.  You must seek professional help for your anxiety.  It is prohibiting you from experiencing a 'normal life'.  I would spend your time at home on the phone searching for a therapist.  You don't deserve this, you are worth much better, please believe that.

[gj143mc]

Thank you for your responses. I called my mom at work and told her everything that I have been feeling. She was very supportive and tried to offer me some advice. Talking to her made me feel a lot better, and I am so glad I did.She told me to make a doctor's appt, and offered me some advice about work (she is a preschool teacher) and she says that she has gone through it before (who would have known?) I read about what I have been feeling on WebMd.com and it also says that I should make a doctor's appt. and try to get some therapy or medication. I really do not want medication, but I am hoping that I can do something to stop these bad feelings about myself. I am already feeling a little better but I know that it will take some work. well, thanks for making me feel better, I am glad I posted this on here too.

[pixijal]

I am so glad to hear that you are actively seeking help already! You should be feeling better already!  Great Job!  Take care, and I wish you the best! :)

[confused.uk]

The first step in working through this is telling someone (I told my mum too and it felt brilliant). Whilst it is easier to stay at home and not really call in properly, you get into a vicious circle and get even more afarid. I let mine get too far and now suffer from sporadic agaraphobia (sp?) so you have done the right thing. Good luck, x x