Aa
Embarassing to adimt ..has never had a orgamsim is this normarl?? 18 plz help
Hey everyone i'm 18 and I have had this really embarrassing problem for the last 3 years and i haven't been able to talk to my boyfriend about it because i'm scared of how he will react. No matter what me and my boyfriend try nothing changes. I have even tried stuff on my own, which didn't work. I have been with two other guys before my current boyfriend of 2 years and it was the same scenario. No matter how into sex i am I never seem to be able to have an orgasm.
Has any1 been through this before or know someone who has?? Please can someone help I dont want to live my life not knowing how it feels, and having to hide it from my boyfriend and pretend im enjoying it.
The only thing i can think of that might have caused it was one of the first time i had sex and i got cut on my clitoris and i was bleeding a little... could this be a cause.. and when me and my boyfriend are fooling around now my clit. gets this weird feeling like a jolt and it gets very uncomfortable.
Can anyone give me any advice. As I said before I dont want to live my life not knowing what it feels like ..and it breaks my heart that I cant experience it and share it with my boyfriend.
Has any1 been through this before or know someone who has?? Please can someone help I dont want to live my life not knowing how it feels, and having to hide it from my boyfriend and pretend im enjoying it.
The only thing i can think of that might have caused it was one of the first time i had sex and i got cut on my clitoris and i was bleeding a little... could this be a cause.. and when me and my boyfriend are fooling around now my clit. gets this weird feeling like a jolt and it gets very uncomfortable.
Can anyone give me any advice. As I said before I dont want to live my life not knowing what it feels like ..and it breaks my heart that I cant experience it and share it with my boyfriend.
yea i have tried masturbating before and it was the same situation it just didnt feel good.. and people have told me to try the bullet..i think thats what it was called, so im going to give that a shot. and i am very comfortable sexually and being naked around my boyfriend so im never uncomfortable. if stress and anxety effects it then that may very be the problem because i tend to have a lot of anxiety attacks. thanks for everyones advice i will look into it more and talk to my boyfriend about it :D
hey there
dont worry bout not having an orgasm.. it s not the be all and end all of the world.. there are many women out there who have never had a "vaginal orgasm" through intercourse , but can sucessfully have one form "clitoral stimulation". Some women can have both , but just coz you cant have an orgasm, doesnt mean its a bad thing!! many women have never had one in thier lives. So dont worry. btw i havent had a "Vaginal Orgasm", but have had a "clitoral orgasm". have you tried masturbation??
dont worry bout not having an orgasm.. it s not the be all and end all of the world.. there are many women out there who have never had a "vaginal orgasm" through intercourse , but can sucessfully have one form "clitoral stimulation". Some women can have both , but just coz you cant have an orgasm, doesnt mean its a bad thing!! many women have never had one in thier lives. So dont worry. btw i havent had a "Vaginal Orgasm", but have had a "clitoral orgasm". have you tried masturbation??
I had a similar problem with my now husband, but I was able to have an orgasm previously.
At the time, I was stressed out with a death in the family, friends, and working a few jobs, on top of feeling inadequate as a lover. Bottom line, my husband and I worked through my stress/anxiety, and I was finally able to enjoy sex again after about 1 year. I found what worked for me was to try and relax, and focus on what "turned me on" with my husband (his touch, for example), and I let my focus be more on the love I felt for him instead of the whole, "what if I don't even come close to orgasm?"
I would definitely talk to a doctor about your sexual health (especially since you said that you had injury), just to make sure it is indeed something physical, and not psychological, which it could very well be (it was for me).
I hope everything works out for you! Just remember to relax, and work through it by seeking doctor's advice, and even if you don't want to-talk to your boyfriend about it...it's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's just the temperament of the woman's body. :)
At the time, I was stressed out with a death in the family, friends, and working a few jobs, on top of feeling inadequate as a lover. Bottom line, my husband and I worked through my stress/anxiety, and I was finally able to enjoy sex again after about 1 year. I found what worked for me was to try and relax, and focus on what "turned me on" with my husband (his touch, for example), and I let my focus be more on the love I felt for him instead of the whole, "what if I don't even come close to orgasm?"
I would definitely talk to a doctor about your sexual health (especially since you said that you had injury), just to make sure it is indeed something physical, and not psychological, which it could very well be (it was for me).
I hope everything works out for you! Just remember to relax, and work through it by seeking doctor's advice, and even if you don't want to-talk to your boyfriend about it...it's nothing to be embarrassed about, it's just the temperament of the woman's body. :)
This is an EXTREMELY common occurrence, calm down :)
Most women don't have orgasms during sex. I agree with lovethebops, you need to get in tune with yourself. Practice. I suspect you're not comfortable being naked/sexual around your bf or even yourself. But this is just a guess. Remember orgasms are not just physical, they are mental also. You try so hard to orgasm during sex that you get stressed about it and feel pressured, resulting in no orgasm.
And I have learned that most men simply aren't aware that women have this problem. The problem is usually that an orgasm is produced by stimulation to the clitoris, but when you're having sexual intercourse, the clitoris simply isn't stimulated. I don't know how we got the short end of the stick on this one lol blame it on anatomy lol.
Talk to your doctor. My doctor actually came straight out and asked me (much to my surprise and yes, embarrassment). She explained to me that she had the same problem. What you want to do is provide gentle stimulation to the clitoris, find out what works for you on your own and then you can incorporate it into sex by using your finger or a vibe to stimulate the clitoris during penetration. Tell your bf about this, so that he can help you work on it. Believe me, when you finally take care of the problem, it is so worth it! But remember, it takes time to reach that point :)
Also, it sounds like you have an especially sensitive clitoris. I say this because after orgasm, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, and touching it or any stimulation is super uncomfortable. So my advice, just be gentle with the stimulation you provide and practice practice practice :)
Most women don't have orgasms during sex. I agree with lovethebops, you need to get in tune with yourself. Practice. I suspect you're not comfortable being naked/sexual around your bf or even yourself. But this is just a guess. Remember orgasms are not just physical, they are mental also. You try so hard to orgasm during sex that you get stressed about it and feel pressured, resulting in no orgasm.
And I have learned that most men simply aren't aware that women have this problem. The problem is usually that an orgasm is produced by stimulation to the clitoris, but when you're having sexual intercourse, the clitoris simply isn't stimulated. I don't know how we got the short end of the stick on this one lol blame it on anatomy lol.
Talk to your doctor. My doctor actually came straight out and asked me (much to my surprise and yes, embarrassment). She explained to me that she had the same problem. What you want to do is provide gentle stimulation to the clitoris, find out what works for you on your own and then you can incorporate it into sex by using your finger or a vibe to stimulate the clitoris during penetration. Tell your bf about this, so that he can help you work on it. Believe me, when you finally take care of the problem, it is so worth it! But remember, it takes time to reach that point :)
Also, it sounds like you have an especially sensitive clitoris. I say this because after orgasm, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, and touching it or any stimulation is super uncomfortable. So my advice, just be gentle with the stimulation you provide and practice practice practice :)
Perhaps the jolty weird feeling for you is the orgasm? I don't know, I'm not you. It may get uncomfortable because there is too much stimulation. Maybe try lightening up, or getting some type of toy and experimenting with that? I think it may just be that you need some more practice getting in tune with your body. If you don't know what does it for you, how will anyone else, really? Also, communication is the key. You cannot continue to hide this(though many women do), because it will not help your boyfriend to help you. Good luck.
your 18. its not a big deal. its not like your old. lots of women cant or have a VERY hard time
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