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Hemorrhoids

Hi! I wanted to make my name little missy, but it was already taken. My name is Melissa, but everyone calls me Missy. I have been having a problem and went to look it up, that's when i found this site. It seems really nice. I hope you all can come up with an answer that will help me and make me feel better. I don't want to go to the doctor, I am very shy. i have been having hemorrhoids really bad. They will bleed even when I'm not going to the bathroom (#2). Today I had blood all over my panties. My Mom told me to put an ice pack. I have and it doesn't help. My boyfriend of seven years and i have anal sex a lot. i know it doesn't help the hemorrhoids, but I really like it. Do any of you know of anything that will help? Thank you in advance.  Missy
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Avatar universal
Yes, stop.
Symptoms can continue long after stopping anal sex and cause serious future health problems.

It sounds like you have torn inside your rectum, causing fissures.
Try this:
STOP anal sex, period.
Relax when you have a BM...
Make sure you eliminate daily.  
DO not strain!
If you feel like you have fecal matter to eliminate and it won't...
Have a pack of exam gloves and PH handy.
GENTLY, using your gloved finger to remove any lingering fecal matter.
Do not allow it to hang around!
Take a sitz bath and clean the area thoroughly after every BM.
Eat right, do not eat things that cause you to be constipated.
I repeat..... STOP anal sex.


http://www.hemorrhoid.net/analsex.php
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sodomy, "unatural sex" (which is oral or anal) is illegal in many states not to mention forbidden in the Bible. So if this guy is so God oriented why is it okay to have anal sex but not take birth control? This is really sad. this man is only manipulating you into doing what he wants. which is your only your butt. not your happiness. If he is having sex with other women and not using condoms, you are at a VERY high risk of contracting sexual transmitted diseases. the anus is very sensitive and absorbs foreign material much more easily than the vagina. He should be using a condom while penetrating your rectum.

You should get out of this relationship NOW. i understand what it is like to remain in an unhealthy relationship for too long, and the results can be horrific, even deadly. This man does not have your best interest in mind. If you even think it's worth the argument, tell him that anal sex is not God's will and that if he really loves God or whatever, he will stop having anal sex altogether.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sodomy, "unatural sex" (which is oral or anal) is illegal in many states not to mention forbidden in the Bible. So if this guy is so God oriented why is it okay to have anal sex but not take birth control? This is really sad. this man is only manipulating you into doing what he wants. which is your only your butt. not your happiness. If he is having sex with other women and not using condoms, you are at a VERY high risk of contracting sexual transmitted diseases. the anus is very sensitive and absorbs foreign material much more easily than the vagina. He should be using a condom while penetrating your rectum.

You should get out of this relationship NOW. i understand what it is like to remain in an unhealthy relationship for too long, and the results can be horrific, even deadly. This man does not have your best interest in mind. If you even think it's worth the argument, tell him that anal sex is not God's will and that if he really loves God or whatever, he will stop having anal sex altogether.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well if you don't practice safe sex then OF COURSE THERE IS A LINK!!!!

I never said that unprotected sex has nothing to do with any type of disease or ailment did I?????
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Avatar universal
YES! There IS a link between anal sex and colo-rectal cancer.  HPV, the virus that causes genital warts and cervical cancer also causes colo-rectal cancer.  The skin in the anal canal and on the cervix is actually very similar.  There is such a direct link that it is beginning to be advised that gay men and women practicing anal sex get "anal pap smears" just like sexually active women get pap smears to detect changes in the skin of the anal canal.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Those claims hold very little water.... I have been having anal sex for years with my respective girl friends over the years and as a result I know how to prepare them both mentally and physically for the VERY PLEASURABLE act. By the time I have prepared them noit only are they ready to get ****** in the ass but they WANT to get ****** in the ass. Now I'm not going to debate the amount of pleasure a woman (and man) can receive from anal sex but I do want to say that NEVER, in all my years of research have I ever heard of a link between anal sex and colo rectal cancer. It's just ignorant BS in my opinion. Furthermore, Your anus is a place that temporarily holds fecal matter and once it is full of it, it causes a reflex action that triggers the body to expel it (the familiar "I gotta go" feeling). As a result, once you have "gone", your rectum is relatively empty and can be penetrated withot feeling like things are getting jammed back in there. All you have to do is go to the bathroom and then have a nice hot shower to clean yourself properly prior to engaging in any type of ass play. If done correctly, anal sex is not only pleasurable but it's beneficial. You just have to do more research on the  topic. Please don't poison peoples minds with this Bull $hit about how it can give you cancer and cause constipation.... Read up on the subject first!!!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm not trying to scare you, but I have read that anal sex can lead to colon/rectal cancer.  Think about it.  Your anus is a place to rid your body of fecal matter.  If something is continuously being shoved in there, the fecal matter can become lodged.  Fecal matter that is lodged isn't excreted and becomes toxic.  Toxins can cause cancer.  Please get yourself checked out by a doctor.
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Avatar universal
I think that you should all respect Little Misses decision, she's an adult.  And please respect her religion.  you don't have to agree with anything she's doing but its her choice.  Please give advise on what she's asking which is help cure hemorroids...she's not asking help to leave her community or her boyfriend.
Helpful - 0
143952 tn?1237864541
please know that no one here is trying to judge you or make you do something you don't want to do.  we are all just worried and want help.  please stay in contact with us.  does your mother live within your "community" or is she on the outside?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
im worried about a few things you said. you stated you are married by some just not legally. yet you still refer to him as your boufriend. sweety are you happy? do you want to leave? if i am wrong i am sorry for assuming. if you do want to leave, to live YOUR life the way you see right. and your children too. then maybe your mom can help. if i am wrong and you want to be with him for the rest of your life then im happy for you. *its always possible to get out when you are afraid to stay-keep that in mind*
Helpful - 0
143952 tn?1237864541
are you married by what it called a "celestrial ceremony" by any chance?
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Avatar universal
now is he old fashioned where he can keep you pg and home while he goes out with his other women?? pig! what is this religion? how is it you have given all your values up for him? relationships are about compromise. is he the father of your 5 kids? does he have any by other women? im sorry to ask all this i just wish i could help you. even if you feel you dont need helpand very happy, to me it isnt right. you cant be treated poorly in the name of religion!! would god be happy with not using bc because it is his will, yet your bf can stick his weiner in the place god didnt intend it to go???
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I say run, run far away. His Dad married you? is he a preacher? is it down on paper that you are married? Where in the world are you from??  You could have a std and not even know it! Listen to your mother. Are you afraid of him?
Helpful - 0
150483 tn?1212168556
I agree, r u in a cult?If there's ever been an abusive relationship I think your in one.  1st- your in pain & he does not care?2nd-he cheats & you dont care?And if he is leaving everything to GOD why did he not mary you,but has had five kids with you.You sound like your not happy!Sorry were not judging but,It sounds like he's having all the "fun"while you stay at home watching your 5 kids with a pain in the a**.And I dont mean the hemorrhoids.If your MOM is saying leave "what r u waiting for?She sounds like she has your best intreasts at heart as we also do, so why stay?Cheats,inconsiderate,does not care about your input?What holding you?..nanis
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Avatar universal
well i know why he likes it better. your not "stretched out" but the butthole (lack of a better term) is definately much tighter. why wouldnt he? and you say his family doesnt believe in birth control. well let them not take it. he isnt your husband. he isnt raising 5 kids. he isnt the one to deal with it. sweety do what you want. you seem very strongly against another baby. i understand i will step on toes but it isnt up to god to give or not give you a baby if you have sex without bc. he gave us the equipment and its up to us to determine how to use it. remember it is your mind, body and spirit. its up to you to use bc or not. and if you choose not to and fall pg. its isnt gods will it was yours and your bf's.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have to agree with just about everyone here.  You need to stop having anal so often.  I understand the like for it.  But I can only do it about once every few months or I HURT!!..I Can't imagine doing it more often.  As for the BC issue will he get a vasectomy?  My hubby did after #4 because financially I knew we could never afford another one and we never used BC.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You say your husband leaves it in "GOD'S" hands.  If he's so religous, why hasn't he married the mother of his 5 children???  And he has other women?  He doesn't believe in birth control and I wonder if he's using condoms w/these women.  And you engage in anal sex unprotected with hemmroids?  Honey, that's how people contract stds and hiv.  Think about your health.  He's going to winde up giving you something that you can't get rid of.  You have to have more respect for yourself.  You are a mother of 5 children that need you.
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Avatar universal
What?  oh my Gosh! It sounds to me like your beating a dead horse here. Are you in a cult or something like that? i couldn't imagine being like that. He has another woman?? Doesn't that tell you something? If he really loves you he wouldn't want you to be in pain and wouldn't find another woman. My hubby would do anything to help me not be in pain and he know's I'd leave him in a heartbeat if he cheated!!.Is there not a clinic close where you could go get the depo shot? that way he wouldn't know. IF YOU STAY THAT IS.
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Avatar universal
I have to be honest with you all. I understand what all of you are saying, but the situation I am in is hard. His family is very old fashioned. He is just like them. Really the only doctor I can go to really isn't a doctor. He has been given the job by God. We all live in a community together. Everyone helps take care of each others kids and we share everything. I know he has other women in his life, but there is nothing I can do about it. That's just the way things are. I know you all won't think my life is right, but it's hard to explain how things work. I do love my boyfriend very much and I want to do what he says, but it's hurting me. My mom preaches at me to leave, but I love him. I guess  he is really my husband. We didn't go to the court house or anything like that, but his Dad married us. If it's under God then I guess we are married. My hemorrhoids seem to be a little better. I tried last night to talk to him about something we could use to stop the babies from comming and all he said was  we  have to leave it in God's hands. He did say we could stop having sex for a while. Now, i wonder why he was so nice about it. Thank you all so much for answering me. I feel like I am in my own little world, not connected to anyone.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It seems like you've had it really hard. I don't get your b/f. How can you do what he says even if you don't beleive it yourself? That's taking away from your own true feelings. i'm sorry but he doesn't sound like a very good man. Does he help with the kids?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have wondered many times if he liked vaginal sex. I thought maybe after 5 kids it was streched out. Does that happen? He used to like it. It's a thing with his family not using birth control. i feel like sneaking and taking it, but he'd leave me for sure if he found out. My hemorrhoid has stopped bleeding for now. I am going to let it heal for a little while.I am going to take a warm bath in a little while. i never have time for stuff like that, so I am looking forward to it.I get up at 3:45 just so I can have breakfast ready when they get up. I don't have much time for myself. They are at his parents today. I hope she will keep them untill tomorrow. I'm just so tired. You all are so nice. I wish I would of met you all a long time ago. I don't have any friends. No time for it. Thank you for being so nice to me. Missy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Just curious here because I have never had anal sex..... Do you orgasism from it?  I know men have a G-spot in their anus but hadnt heard about anything similar with a women so I didnt think it would  be very pleasurable for a women.

Also, I agree with the other ladies in that you should cut back on the anal sex to give the hemorrhoids time to heal.
Helpful - 0
143952 tn?1237864541
just keep in mind that this is YOUR body and YOUR health.  you may need to see a doctor to make sure there isn't an infection going on at this point, and to make sure that you have only a small hemorrhoid.  enjoying anal sex is one thing; doing it in spite of pain to make your bf happy is another.  i have to say i would have a problem if i had a bf tell me that i couldn't take bc pills.  if it not too personal, does he still enjoy vaginal sex???
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Avatar universal
Thank you to all that answered me. I tried to tell my boyfriend about the hemorrhoid. He didn't like the idea of not having anal sex for a while. He wants me to go to the doctor and see how I can get it fixed faster. He is a good man, just a little pushy.I have five kids, that's why I like anal better. i don't think I could handle anymore kids. I feel like they just climb out of the woodwork sometimes. Just fixing supper is a huge chore. My boyfriend doesn't want me to use birth control. If it's God's will then I will or won't get pregnant. I think God gave the Doctors the intellegence to make the birth control and us the brains to use it! I do not want anymore kids!!! I have anal because he likes it and I know I won't get pregnant. Smart thinking, I thought.I love my kids and do everything for them. I think if I had more though, I'd jump off a bridge!
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