I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately since I dont know your wife there is not much more advice I can give. You guys can go to a therapist about it though. There are even sex therapists who specialize in helping people with these problems. And you are not alone a lot of couples go through this.
Good luck.
Thanks for your comment. She likes the foreplay to an extent. She does not want or has not used toys. The most I can do is with my fingers. Once in a great while and I do mean a great while I can perform oral sex on her. When this happens she does like it and has had orgaims. But getting her to go from just do it and get it over to lets play is hard. I beleive it is becaues of time and privacy. She does not want to plan sex and when the kids are gone for the day or a while she just is not in the mood.
well for one it sounds like she isnt in the right state of mind to orgasm. A woman isnt going to orgasm if shes not in the mood. I would suggest taking a weekend and getting a babysitter and doing whatever you can to rekindle that spark. Take her somewhere you used to go. Talk about the sex you guys used to have. Get her thinking about it. And finally take your time with her. Does she not like foreplay or is it just the time issue? If she likes it then go for that. dont rush. And when youre having sex use consistency. Changing positions too often can interfere with a woman's ability to orgasm. Not saying do the same thing just dont change positions every two minutes. And consistency with strokes is also good. I would say start out slow and deep and gradually speed things up, while being careful not to lose depth in the process.
But really I think your main problem is just an emotional thing and not really physical at all.