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How can I know if my girlfriend had an orgasm?
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How can I know if my girlfriend had an orgasm?

Hi,

Not sure if this is the correct forum to post to, but the Sexuality  one seems full for the day.

Me and my girlfriend dont have sex yet, but do fondle and try to give each other orgasms. I dont have a problem with mine, but do get confused about her. She does like me touching and massaging her down there but doesnt let me do it continously. She says that it stops giving her pleasure after some time. I am not sure if she has an orgasm and I desperately want her to have it. We talk and I make sure I am doing it corectly. She says she does have an orgasm but somehow I feel she just says it to make me feel good.

Please help. How can I know that she is having an orgasm?
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27 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
Think of it this way.. If you have reached climax, aren't you done? At least for the moment? Women, at least some, when they are done, they are done and it is no longer pleasurable to be touched. Like beating a dead horse.
I know, lousy example but makes the point. Another example, less disgusting example is chocolate cake, the first piece is delicious, the second can also be wonderful, but you're not going to eat the entire thing without becoming full.
It's great that you are concerned for her pleasure, but trust her when she says she is satisfied and had her fill of "cake".
--J
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Avatar_f_tn
It is generally impossible to know with women because very few women orgasm in the same manner as women (i.e. women generally don't *** like men). You should be able to tell from her reaction if she is orgasming; however, it is possible that she is faking (although I would say that is unlikely). Have you tried anything other than using your hand on her (i.e.  like a vibrator)? Just a thought. Good luck! You two sound like you are being responsible in abstaining from sex, but just remember that passion can take over the moment, so you may want to start talking about a method of birth control so you don't find yourself in a predicament down the line. I wish you the best! My personal opinion is that she is telling you the truth ... that she is orgasming when she says she orgasms. Just remember that it takes women a lot longer to orgasm than men in general (with exception of course), and that we don't usually have the same physical signs as men after/during an orgasm. Best wishes!
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134578_tn?1404951303
I agree that she could be, and if she says she is, believe her.  It is really a good thing that you two are into being responsible about sex and this is a good way to do it, just (as the previous poster said) don't lose your head at a crucial moment and try to follow through with no birth control.  Even if she is not orgasming, she is getting a lot of pleasure from what you are doing for her.  And it is true that after a while, the area doesn't want any more.  I would try not to be so obsessed with the "big O" for her as just giving her pleasure in general.  Especially, don't just dive for the genitals, stroke her all over.  Some women can have an orgasm just from having their breasts rubbed.
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Avatar_f_tn
Remember too, because women usually take awhile to orgasm, it may be possible that she has become sore down below, because of all the friction.  Maybe she really is having an orgasm.  If she is saying so, but really isn't, maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, because she is sore.  Does that make sense?  You sound like a guy who really cares about his girlfriend's needs.  Talk with her- communication is more important then whether or not she is actually having the Big O.  Good luck.
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Avatar_n_tn
not all women (probably few) have the rip roaring screaming orgasms you see in movies. some are probably silent afraid to make noise or just dont like to do that. have her communicate with you if she isnt embarressed while you are doing it. if she could tell you more or less pressure, speed ect. i agree though with the moment can take you into being unprepared and do consider having birth control available if you continue this sexual relationship. yes if only women were like men it would be easy haha
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi

My boyfriend was wondering the same thing about me earlier on, he thought i wasn't actually having any orgasms and that i was faking it. I had to try hard to explain to him that i wasn't faking it, because i was loving what he did to me. My adivce to you is to trust your girlfriend when she tells you that yes she is orgasming and that she does enjoy it. And don't always do it in the same spot for a long time, because like people above me have said, it is pleasurable, but after a while it stops. You can do it for a while, and then move your hands somewhere else. Just don't get too caught up in the moment. The best thing you two are doing is not having sex, and that's good because really, you don't want something to go wrong and then you'll both have to worry whether she is pregnant or not, especially if you and her don't want to have a child yet. It's probably one of the worst feelings. Trust me. But about your question, just trust her. I am sure she is feeling a lot of pleasure from what you are doing to her and that she is having orgasms.
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Avatar_f_tn
I truly respect your opinion to wait until you are married to have intercourse. That is an incredible decision, and I am impressed by the two of you. Best wishes in your relationship.
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Avatar_n_tn
We do keep contraceptives at hand for an emergency. Its just that we waiting for us to get married. We come from a culture where marriage before sex is prohibited. But we do understand each others body needs especially when in a relationship. And it makes me feel a bit guilty when I have it and she doesnt seem to.

I will take up all your suggestions and hope they help us. Thanks you all girls. You are wonderful.
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Avatar_n_tn
It's like a really, amazing, glorified sneeze.
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Avatar_n_tn
that is why i sniff pepper on a regular basis
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Avatar_n_tn
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Cheeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Avatar_n_tn
My boyfriend can feel it when I am having orgasm. Once you have been with a woman who is having orgasm, you can definitely tell whether it is fake or not because you can feel the pulse squeezing your penis with rhythm, sometimes it is really fast. When I am having an orgasm, I never have to tell him because he knows it, he can feel his penis being sqeezed.
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Avatar_n_tn
All of these commenters make it sound so easy, but I've gotta say, CuriousAboutMe, if you don't think your g/f is getting off, she almost certainly isn't. Trust me, you'll know-- not because of some detail like vaginal contractions, but because if she's coming it'll become a part of why she seeks out sexual affection from you. I have a lot of painful experience, and have dealt with myriad sexual problems my girlfriends have brought to their relationships with me, and talking to hetero male friends (intelligent people who care about pleasing their partners, as far as I know) female sexual problems are distressingly common and cause a lot of pain for both partners, especially in otherwise beautiful and loving relationships. Your girlfriend is not coming, and though it's wonderful that you want to please her, your feeling that "somehow [you] feel she just says it to make [you] feel good" is almost certainly spot-on.

I get the impression you're pretty young, and so is she. I wouldn't stress out too much, unless you end up together for a while, in love, and you're still consumed by this. If that ends up being the case, well-- in all my experience, sexual problems are excellent destroyers of relationships, emotional ties, self-esteem, and positive self-image. I thought I was absolutely disgusting for a while, awash in self-pity, because the girl with whom I was in love did not care for sex. So what I'm saying is, don't sweat it, for now, but don't get too attached to someone who may have sexual issues, because they'll never get over them with a partner-- that stuff has to be dealt with outside the context of a relationship, and no one deserves that kind of *bystander* emotional punishment anyway, especially a nice guy.
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Avatar_n_tn
i wanna know if my wife got pleasure or not, during our intercourse. because when i tell her, have u come or not? she says yes i have, but when i looked at her sex. i did not see any orgasm. ony a few yallowish liquid.
Note: i saw in the sex movies that the women orgasm are alot, not ony this few, So how can i find out that she  get pleasre,
thnx alot
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Avatar_n_tn
If the person's foot curls, they orgasmed
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Avatar_m_tn
Wow Do we have any experienced O givers here? Listen If your finger is in her while your rubbing her clit and you start to feel the vagina tighten and pulse slightly she is having an orgasm. It will get very wet after she O's as well.
      My wife has clitoral and vaginal orgasms. I feel the Vaginal orgasms very , very strong all over my penis shaft. The clitoral orgasms will not produce much vaginal squeezing but will make some small moisture. Try inserting a finger with one hand while massaging her clit with the other. She will loves this. Don't make her feel stressed about cumming for you or she never will . Your still young. Try some tongue and finger at the same time as well. Tongue on the clit fing gently inside just around the entrance to the Vagina.

  Good luck I hope this helped.
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Avatar_f_tn
You should trust her. You can tell by her facial expresions and the sounds she may make. But dont do it to much or she may feel like you just want her for sex.
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Avatar_m_tn
no way we can help you with when your girl is climaxing. Every girl is different. Some girls stop breathing, shake, flex, SCRATCH, take deep breaths after orgasm. What you need to do is know your girls body language. Girls have different lvls of orgasms. Weak orgasms usually don't give off much body language. Honestly bro, if you want to give her the most pleasure without intercourse, get to licking bro. In my exp, girls love oral! Trust me! If she doesn't like it because she thinks its gross, ask her to let you try just once and for her to try and enjoy it. You just might change her mind. Also, your hands are key bro! HANDS! keep your hands active. Either by rubbing her breasts, ***, legs, back, arms, hips, stomach. Also, kiss her entire body. There should not be a piece of her body you have not kissed, except the bottom of her feet lol. Don't be boring! keep it exotic and sexy. Make her feel like she is in a love sex scene. Passion is important. I could go on all day, but most important, learn her body language. Deuces.
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Avatar_m_tn
Women have different level of orgasms, even a woman can have orgasm without any male touch ! funny, but truw !! But if you she had a great sex and had orgasm, you will feel vibrating pressure on your penis and she will convulse ... good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
Women have different level of orgasms, even a woman can have orgasm without any male touch ! funny, but truw !! But if you she had a great sex and had orgasm, you will feel vibrating pressure on your penis and she will convulse ... good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
Women have different level of orgasms, even a woman can have orgasm without any male touch ! funny, but true !! But if she had a great sex and had orgasm, you will feel vibrating pressure on your penis and she will convulse ... good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
This is my first post..but all I read is very informitive, funny"like beating a dead horse" ...nd I'm sure is going to help me out a lot for my girl nd me..thank u girls
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank u girls this is very informitive..makes me understand a lot better..I'm sure it'll help my girl and me out so much
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Avatar_f_tn
This is my first time to find a forum that I really think is going to help my girl and me out..its very informitive, funny "like beating a dead horse"^ had to crack up on that one..but really helpful thank u ladys
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Avatar_m_tn
Just throwing my 2 cents worth in ..... My girlfriend never really made any noise when she used to C*M .... She didn't feel comfortable as she still lives at home and has no lock on her bedroom door ... so her parents or wee bro could walk in . so she always done it quietly ...
But now when she stays at my house she lets go .. and really has better orgasms ... but she is still a little quiet up to point of her climax and can be difficult to know when she gets to her orgasm ...
I would def say you need to touch and/or kiss various parts of her body before going for the honey pot :-) .... I love giving her oral ... and would start by kissing neck .. and down her body ... spending some time kissing her inner thighs .... Variety is the spice of life , so they say .. so keep exploring each others bodies and you can have lots of fun without having full on sex .. Stay safe :-)
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Avatar_m_tn
im a 40 year old single male. First off not every woman is the same .. and actually most women are very unique. It  might take you time to get to know the girl you are with and to know her body ... enjoy sex with her and dont worry about the big O. Most girls Ive been with usually take 10 to 20 mins to orgasm..I have found that most girls Orgasm easier while on top. They can hit whichever spot they want. Give you r girl foreplay.. massage her a little. see what she likes...  try kissing her lightly from her feet to her mouth . slow it down. dont focus on her big prize for you ...Almost every girl ive been with will usually be very wet after they orgasm , tired, and calm... You  will know it when you see it  or a combo of things hehe. See , her , feel her body react to your penis when shes on top... Go slow bud.. untill she tells you to do it harder... :)
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Avatar_m_tn
Just curious,
I'm guessing that some women's O's may not be as strong or intense as others.
I had been trying for a while to make her O, through oral, vaginal sex, chucking a finger in while I'm going down on her. She always ended up satisfied but never sure if she O'd. More than once or twice I have felt the contractions of her vagina on my shaft, heaps of times while I'm going down on her she has tensed up and started shaking and all that, she thought she hadn't O'd Simply because she was always expecting something more like "squirting" but after a little research we found that she had experienced orgasms, many times, the only reason why she thought she hadn't was because she expected something different.
Also bro you'll never rly know you'll pretty much just have to take her word for it, or maybe get her to explain what exactly she is feeling and see if that's what other women describe as an orgasm.
Main point here I guess is don't always expect to find what you see in a porno or a movie, from what I've read women can suppress it or it won't come if they are feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable or even if they are worried bout being heard during sex or sexual activities

Good luck bro wish you n this girl many happy years married
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