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How much sex is too much??
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How much sex is too much??

Okay this is unrelated to my current problem but i think husband has a huge problem. Here goes, i've been wanting to ask this for ages now, my husband whom I have been married to for 9 years wants sex every single day, sick (him being sick not me) or not. he wakes up and asks me for it and sometimes i do say yes majority of the time like this week, I've said no. he goes off and does his thing. then when he comes home at night he wants to have sex again, it's way too much for me, i think he's a sex maniac, honestly. Since this week i haven't been feeling well, he has been irritable more then  usual, he's had to relieve himself everyday, and tries to initiate sex at night, I look at him and say you've gotta be outts of your mind.

So do you guys think he wants sex way too much? I mean someone who has to orgasm everyday, seems odd to me. I orgasm once every two weeks on my own, I have no desire to do this everyday, any help would be great!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
to be honest my boyfriend and I have sex everyday sometimes more then once a day, although we have only been together a year so we are still in lala land. But if I dont see him I self satisfy myself. I think some people have a high sexual appitite while others do not. I dont think either way is right or wrong it just depends on the person. If I was you instead of thinking of it as he wants sex to much think that after 9 years of being married my husband still finds me sexually pleasing and wants me everyday. That is a blessing. Kudos to you mam for having what it takes to keep him coming back for more!!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Dear Friend,

I think you guys are having problems, and I think you have more them him. You said you pleasure yourself once every two weeks. I think you should find a way to enjoy sex and to have orgams with him. Tell him what you like..., like when you do it yourself. He probably needs to see you having pleasure.
If you both have a good sex, I'm sure that it'll reduce. He's to prove to himself that he can pleasure you.
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Avatar_f_tn
so what I am gathering is this is normal?? I have tried orgasming everyday but unfortunately I cannot please myself, everyday because i have a 3 and 4 year old home with me most of the day. Now with myself I can go for months without sex and it won't bother me, did before I got married, i am not a maniac and feel I am normal, my husband i think is not, but who am I to judge, i told him myself, he is not normal, he thinks he is. I don't know how I have kept him interested in me for so long, i have never initiated sex ever, it has to do with the way I was raised and my morals and beliefs, he finds that a turn off, I guess a lot of women inititate more then the guy? Am i right in assuming this? We are both hopping when i get into my thirties, I am 28 years old by the way, that I will a good sex drive, otherwise we're screwed.

Thanks for commenting.
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Avatar_n_tn
Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.  Nature is a funny thing, making the sex drive of men higher and lower in women.  It's perfectly natural for you not to want it everyday, you will find most women after 9 years of marriage will have a huge drop off in sex drive.  I commend you for hanging in there as long as you can, alot of women lose most of their sex drive after the 2nd year!  Now, that's not all women, but the stereotype is that men want it all the time and women don't..."Not now honey, I have a headache."  I know you don't think your husband is normal, but he's closer to being the normal guy than you think.  It is possibly he has a higher amount of testosterone than the average male, increasing his sex drive.  It probably won't go over well, but have you mentioned possibly seeing a sex therapist.  They may be able to find the source of his increased libido.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an orgasm once every two weeks, completely normal.  Twice a day for a man does seem a little high, especially after 9 years of marriage.  I would really recommend seeing a sex therapist for the both of you.  There are sex addicts out there and medication that can help, cause there's always that thought in the back of your mind that thinks, well if he doesn't get it here, he might start trying to get it some where else.  I hope it doesn't turn out that way.  I wish the best for you and your DH.

sarahmcd - Yeah, my husband and I went at it like rabbits too when we were in the first 2 years of our relationship, trust me, it doesn't last.  I hope you both have more in common than just sex which I'm sure you do, you wouldn't be together that long if you didn't.
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Avatar_n_tn
my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 yrs now and i autually want it atleast every other night, he is the one that is satisfied with having it once a week.  Everyone is different!
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Avatar_n_tn
everyone is different for sure. i have sex with my hubby at least 4 times a day, some days less and some more....and we have a child, jobs, etc. we just have the same type of sex drive i guess. i don't think either one of you are 'sick' just have different sexual needs. i know many ppl...men and woman...who think once every month is good....i need it way more than that. i think that you and hubby need to come to a comprimise that will be good for you both. self release is not like an orgasm from your partner and so maybe he does this in hopes to go longer and please you later. try telling him what feels good to you and what doesn't. i hope you and DH come to some understanding and i am sorry you have to go through this. good luck and i hope all turns out well.

love....kimmie
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Avatar_n_tn
sherry is right - everyone is different!  It sounds like maybe you're not getting what you want from the sex life.  I mean, is it the same every time? Could you close your eyes and know what's going to happen next?  That's no fun.  Make sure you're having fun.  Talk to your husband, play games.  If he wants it all the time he's gotta be willing to give it all the time too.  The point about having orgasms with him is important too.

I don't think there is anything wrong with him ESPECIALLY if he's in his 20's too.  It could be the testosterone, it could be sexual frustration from teen years, who knows.  The important thing is that you talk to him about it and that you both try to be open to a working, fun, and satisfying sexual relationship.  Seeing a sex therapist would probably only be a good idea as well.  Be ready to explore!
Happy explorations,
CD
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Avatar_n_tn
hi, im on your side. i actually thought maybe it was my friend that was posting. she has a husband like yours. he wants it all day every day. he will wake her in the middle of the night wanting it or if no sex (she has her period or sick) he will want oral sex. he wants it even if he is sick w/the flu. they dont have foreplay or anything kinky its just that. she does it to please him and is scared because 2 yrs ago he had an affair (even when she was satisfying him). i think he is a sex addict. anyway, i would NOT want to do it that much. im 36 and married. my husband and i have been together for a total of 19 yrs. we're lucky if we do it once every couple of weeks. we are busy, tired and taking care of our 4 yr old. i think we set a record on our honeymoon in st lucia of doing it 3-4 times in one day. that was it. i would not want to perform as much as your guy wants, i just dont have the energy. orgasms can be a stress reliever. sometimes when you do it as much as that, you need it/and miss it. maybe sometimes you could just please him w. your hands or orally as opposed to having sex all the time? man, the pressure of it all huh? good lick, oh my goodness, good luck! i really didnt mean that!
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Avatar_n_tn
im on your side too my husband is like that and i could with out sex for months but he has to have it at least 2-3 times a day i think it is perfectly natural though guys are just big horney people dont worry its a guy thing
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What struck me is that you mention only needing an orgasm rarely, and so you masturbate only a couple of times a month. Do you orgasm with your partner? Does he take time to pleasure you, or is it just all about him?
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Avatar_n_tn
I was raised the same way! But have recently learned and live by it now. WHAT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND DO IN YOUR BEDROOM IS YOUR BUSINESS NOT ANYONE ELSES! Keep that in mind. Before we got married I wanted it all the time and after we had kids it has been like don't touch me. I had to put myself in his shoes and wonder if he really thought that I didn't love him anymore. I love my husband very much and sometimes even though I don't want sex I give it to him any ways.
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Avatar_n_tn
i forgot to ask the other ladies who do it multiple times a day..where do you find the time? let me put it this way, when my husband and i do it, it usually lasts a couple of hours with foreplay and everything. when we have sex, its never a "quickie". i dont think a quickie would make me feel very loved. anyway, if we did it more than once, that would be approx. 5 hours or so of sex. i have a 4 year old, trust me, there "aint" no time! whats the secret? give me the "411"
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Avatar_n_tn
People do have different sexual needs, but maybe you should try something different ne?  You've been married 9 years to this man, maybe try initiating it once?  To see how he reacts?  Maybe psychologically, this seeing you as the initiator will help tone down the feelings of 'needing to show he can please you' that was suggested.  

Every day may seem excessive to you ...but, don't treat this like it is a chore you must do much like taking out the garbage or washing the dishes -- that is what will cause such a negative attitude.
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hahaha
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Avatar_m_tn
Sad, that both of you became less interested in sex after only two years.  While it is not everything, sexual intimacy is an important part of your life.  My wife and I have been married for more than 45 years and still grealy enjoy our sex life.  We would both feel very bad if this was out of our lives.  Hopefully, you both will seek counseling, as how you feel is not normal.
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