I Can't have an orgasm!

This is very uncomfortable to talk about. I have recently begun to have sex with my boyfriend. I have experienced a lot of uncomfortable things because of it. I first of all, was a virgin when i started dating him so you can just imagine the discomfort in that. Then I began to to smell down there and found that I had a yeast infection! But now things are steady. No crazy things like that anymore. But he's very nice and during and after sex he keeps asking me am i about to *** or did it feel like i was about to ***. Honestly i don't even know what that feels like. I get so jealous of him because when he cums he loses it. He says that felt really good while I am indifferent. He says sorry all the time when I don't ***. I don't understand is it my fault or his? I have tried to make myself well orgasm but i don't know my resources are i guess useless. I have tried my hand. And after a weird awkward conversation with some friends, I tried a shower head. But i get to a point where i can't take it anymore. No pee feeling just a i have to stop type feeling. No pain, just um well i don't know. Intensity? Oh sheesh well i don't know. I just need guidance on how to make myself orgasm or how to know when it may happen.

One more thing i feel that i should add. My boyfriend brings it up all the time. I think it's irrelevant but here i go. At a very young age i was molested by a family member. My boyfriend believes that subconsciously i revert back to that during sex. He says that my mind may be blocking things out including pleasure of any kind when sex comes up. But i don't think so i think it's because i'm not completely comfortable with sex or maybe i dont know good greff. I don't know. Any suggestions would be really appreciated.

[Bhupinder Kaur, MD]

Hello,
In your case, it looks like you are not able to orgasm because of psychological causes. Changes in the hormone levels can also cause dryness of vagina and hence anorgasmia(lack of orgasm). Other causes are stress and anxiety, alcohol and drugs, relationship issues and medicines like blood pressure medications, antihistamines and antidepressants.

Talk to your partner openly about any fears or apprehensions, eat nutritious healthy food, exercise regularly and cut down on smoking or alcohol if you are taking it. Also ask your partner to indulge in plenty of foreplay or use a water based lubricant. If still a problem, then please get your hormonal assay done form an endocrinologist.

It is very difficult to precisely confirm a diagnosis without examination and investigations and the answer is based on the medical information provided. For exact diagnosis, you are requested to consult your doctor. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care and please do keep me posted on how you are doing.

[NOHARD]

Hi King, One your b/f is noy very understanding, and does not know much about you as a women, his first thought is him, and hes wants you to say yes so he can put another notch, on his gun.
When he takes you to the bedroom he first thouths should be you.
Now as for you, you need to know that some women can go through there whole life and never orgasm.
But I have help for you, its ok its not me, but please google dodson and ross, on there you will find all the info your looking for, Dr Betty Dodson, you can make your guru for sex, she runs life class's on how to masurbate and how to orgasm, you can down load vids for a small price either for a day, week or month, for all your problems and more, and there is some great art work on there by her.
Good Luck

[ticked]

Since you are a virgin it might take time. Orgasms for women are harder to get then men. It may have nothing to do with being molested or it might. I started having sex at 14 and didnt have an orgasm until I was almost 20 and even then it wasnt all the time. I can only get them if my husband goes down on me and no other way and even still I have times where I can't go and tell him to stop trying.

For me my clitoris is very sensitive all the time and when he first goes down there it kind of feels uncomfortable. It takes a while for me to get aroused and I too was sexual abused in the past. However for me when the clitoris starts to become like a numb like feeling and less sensitive is when I know I am going to go. I sometimes have to think dirty thoughts to get to that point as well.