I can't climax!!!!! arghhh!

My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about three months now and I have NEVER climaxed. Don't get me wrong, it feels good and then that's it. I don't get any spine tingling crazy sensation and I wish I did. Any advice, suggestions????
~Thanks~
*Kat*

[gonza]

Do you do anything other than actually intercourse?  From what I understand, most women cannot climax by just having intercourse.  Most climax by oral sex or "fingering" (for lack of calling it anything else).  Try that.  I would go into more detail, but I dont feel this is the place to go into detail.  Good luck.

[greenpixie]

I agree with Gonza.  There are very few women who actually reach climax with intercourse alone.  Most women need their clitoris stimulated.  Try different positions so your partner can do this for you.  Hope it helps.

[mslkpage]

Or maybe a mini body massager to...uh...help you relax. They can do wonders, I hear. Ever been invited to a F.U.N. Party? It's like tupperware or pampered Chef, except the items are more along the lines of relationship-enhancers. Good luck!  :)

[mayamaya]

Hm I have a similar problem. I can climax on my own. But it is very hard for me to climax with intercourse alone. Even with clitoral stimulation. My partner gives great cunnilingus (oral) but I can't come through it. His previous partners have never had such problems.

[rockstarcowgrrl]

At the risk of being a little too personal...can you make yourself climax?  If you can...then tell your boyfriend where and what to touch...this will help him to know what to do.  

I've also heard that it's rare for a woman to climax thru penatration.  It's actually through clitoral stimulation that most woman orgasm.  Try some heavy fingering, and oral sex, before your boyfriend enters you.  At the risk of being...forward...try being on top and have him stimulate your clitorus while you are having sex. You will have more control over your "internal" stimulation, plus you will be getting the added bonus. I'm not sure how graphic I'm allowed to get...but hopefully you get the idea. That should do the trick...and if not...you'll have fun trying.

Another thing you might want to do is try to catch the series on HBO called "the sex inspectors"...it's origally done in England (produced by the BBC)and they give advice to couples who are having sex problems...and most of them involve the woman not being able to orgasm.  It's really interesting and has a lot of fun tips!

[ateague]

If you are shy to "self-pleasuring", try this position.  It's man on top, but he is "riding high" as they say.  It actually involves him thrusting up as opposed to thrusting down which causes him to rub along your clitoris.  Also, another good one is pubic bone to pubic bone.  This involves aiming just right where he is just about all the way in you and his pubic bone is rubbing up against your pubic bone, stimulating the clitoris.  I'm not a big "self-pleasuring" gal, so these positions help me, sorry if too graphic, but hope it helps.  Good luck.  Try to relax and don't put too much pressure on yourself to orgasm, it will happen when it happens.  In the mean time, just have fun with it.

[CDoyle]

The only way I can climax is through intercourse! And I have to be on top. It's more of a forward/back motion. This way he is rubbing aginst my clitoris. Obviously everyone's body is different so try different things to find what works for you (and your partner).

[kat25]

thanks everyone for your advice...I have had a previous partner and wasn't able to climax with him either... my current partner has had another partner as well... but they only did once and he didn't climax. I really have already tried the suggested positions and although they feel great... nothing ever happens. thanks for your advice!
~Kat~

[Nisska]

My advice is to get to know your own body.  It may feel perverted/embarassing, but learn what stimulates you.  Experiment.  Once you know and understand your own body you will be able to use that knowledge to enhance your sex life, for both of you.

[LITTLELADYBUG]

Have you had sex with other people prior, or has your boyfriend? I mean you both are experienced right and know what your doing. Maybe you just aren't relaxed enough to climax with him if he is a new partner.

[monkeyflower]

Masturbation's really the key to becoming orgasmic. Check out "For Yourself", by Lonnie Barbach, and "Sex for One" and "Orgasms for Two", by Betty Dodson. If you still have difficulty, I'd suggest seeing a sex therapist. They have terrific success with pre-orgasmic women.

As for intercourse positions, unless you get some direct clitoral stimulation (and that usually means hand or vibe), you're probably not going to be able to come. About 70% of women need that direct clitoral stimulation, which intercourse just doesn't provide.

[luvely]

I've got problem also can't climax. We even talk about this with my boyfriend but still nothing. The point is that  when he is not around,by just talking to him through the phone I become too honey, wet and climax. We do lot of oral play and talk but still can't rich climax. Every time before we do it I become too honey to have sex but during the intercose i become dry and all those moods they disapper.can i get some advice.

[Milfilicious78]

Pfft! Join the club!!

This is what I told someone who asked a similar question here:
"To: cathycooley

R u kidding me? I googled this recently b/c I was highly frustrated with my sitch which is pretty much the same!!
THIS is interesting:

http://www.feministezine.com/feminist/modern/The-Myth-ofthe-Vaginal-Orgasm.html

I can only orgasm clitorally and I have had my fair share of partners and ONE only ONE I have been able to clitorally orgasm with but here's why:

1. I was on top and did the controlling, i.e. clitoral stimulation against his pubic bone.

2. He stayed hard for a long time.

3. I think I may have some kind of S&M thing b/c that Man used to beat meeee.

So, yeah, I'm all screwed up about it over here, too, just wanna let u know u r not alone and by God if u can get it done yourself, at least u have that! "

I may have not helped much but know u r NOT alone in the least bit..more than half of the Women say that they can orgasm vaginally are either lying or deluded by T.V. and movies into thinking they can!!
UGH!!!

[topsecret]

I thought I was the only one with this problem. I can not climax no matter what i have tried. I've tried every thing listed but nothing has happened yet. Yes sex feels great to me, but i dont get this exploding feeling and tingle that everyone else talks about. I have no clue what a climax feels likebut i'm still gonna keep trying.

[angel67stang]

so this is kind of an old posting but i just joined i happen to find this because i was looking up why i have such a hard time climaxing. i can only if i'm on top and then it does not alway happen. The sex feels great i just don't get the extra that goes with it.

[iloveranger88]

While having sex it might help if  you put a hand between you and stimulate your clitoris.  Also use lots of lube to help with the friction. Good luck!

[Latrice414]

I just wanted to add, a lot of women dont climax from sex. I think you need to no your body, for example, can you make your self climax by stimulating your gspot, when i was 19ish i could only orgasims from clitoral, then i started learning about my body when i was about 23ish. I no where my gspot is and i can stimulate it, the climax i get from it feels good but a clitoral climax feels BETTER, your mate has to be able to stimualte the gspot, and sometimes continusouly to get the desired affect, and bcuz penis's comes in different forms(straight curved etc) it can b hard. With my DF, i can only climax while laying on my stomache, that is the best postion where his penis can continously stimulate my gspot, and this is without rubbing the clit. NOW, ive just found another position, which is the side lyn position, it takes longer but we are working at it.

Then what enhances all of that is being open with your partner, wanting to feel good, if you go into sex with a whatever attiude you just may get whatever. So have your mind into and think positive.

Also, try some 4play b4 the actually sex, that preps your mind, helps get you moist etc.

Also, particiapte back, the guy does not just have to do u if you are laying down, (sex him back) the thrusting of your pelvic will give you good feelings.(the way as if you masterbate and you move your hips, do that while having sex)

Also, be open with your partner,  if something doesnt feel good TELL HIM, he cant read your mind, you may be misleading him by faking, most men go off of sound and how the women reacts, and come on women, we have all been guilty of faking just so it could be over. If you want the most out of your sexual experience you have to tell him what you like, dont like, hell demonstrate it to him.

My sex life is always in working progress, we strive to make sure we no what one another likes.

Also, if you cant achieve the climax from sex, use a vibrator on your clit while having sex.

This may b TMI but im going to say it anyways, true not all women climax from vaginal but women can get a vaginal and clitoral orgasim, it takes time, and you have to get to no your self and where things are located inside your body. I can stimualte my clit with my hand or vibrator and squrt(pee, whatever you want to call it) and i can also stimualte my gspot(located 2/3rds in my vagina upward) and squrt, and i can do it from sex. So i think its a matter of knowing your body. It took me about 6 years to really get in tune with my body. And when i was single it was hard to explore that because i didnt want to share that with every guy, i was more open once i got into a serious relationship.

Last but not leasttttttttttttt lol. Anal stimulation can also heighten your sexual feelings, thats goes for men and women:)

Well it works for me, i cant say it would work for everyone, but explore your self, you might b amazed at what you find out.

[Latrice414]

just wanted to add, pain can b pleasure sometimes. Try having him bit slightly on your nipples or put clothes pins(or some type of clamps) on your nipples, stimulation to the nipples can bring about contractions to the uterus(in a good way, not labor contractions) that would also enhance the sexual experience

[meuki]

well, im surprised at how many of u r like me... i mean i cnt orgasm whn im haing sex with my partner. never not once and its been a year. ive tried different positions as well, but still doesnt work. i was worried tht mayb sumthng is worng with me...lol... but i guess im more normal than i thout. i dont know how old thse posts are, but i really wanted to share this.
but i do have an amazaing orgasm with masturbation but never during sex. its kind of wierd. lol... oh nd yes i do enjoy sex alot! its really gud but i dnt get to climax.

its funny how i googled and found ths place. all of you people before me.. thanx alot u guys have really relieved me. *hugs*

[ezperez06]

Wow this is awesome I can't believe this is totally normal to not be able to climax. I'm like most girls on here i can do it just fine on my own but never ever had an orgasm during sex. it's horrible and frustratinng. The bad part is that I have always faked it because i would feel bad for the guy.now i feel bad for my self. So some comments said that using a vibrator during sex or rubbing clit helps but what if your bf is not about all that mine will get upset if he knows i am trying to turn my self on. He doens't even knw I have never had an orgasm and we have been together 6 years.......I will try some tips and hopefully it works wish me luch

[Lapleasure]

I can't climax by intercourse or manually.  I'm fourty-five going through menopause.  It's horrible, I use to be a water fall and now I can't do anything...Have anyone had this problem, seems like a lot of you can climax but by yourself but I can't either way.

By Lapleasure

[Zethu]

Bv what if i am a low self esteem not even sure what im doing is right always think he wil laugh at me or ask what im doing.

[HURRICANE1]

iv tried them all but nothing is happening

[rellu]

Hi
me girlfriend took  anti baby pills for half year and after that she cant get climax. she even  dont wont to touch her self. she stopped takeing pills but she dont get a mood any more. Maybe baby pills mess up with her hormones or is allready mental thing. Help me out guys

[bre5183]

okay i have that problem to i have never had one or how do you know like the last time i was having sex like it felt like everytime he would go in or go faster it just felt i was going to like squirt all over him but then we got busted almost but anyway what is that is that almost having a orgasm or what

[evet636]

Baby pills are responsible for decreased libido.I used to take pills for about 2 and a half years.Though my doctor prescribed them, she did never mentioned anything about it, so I thought it was a matter of stress or something that I was never in the mood.I find out that those pills are totally responsible about it.I cut them off.My libido started to getting better only after a year and a half later.And this days,two years later, I've totally recovered. So i recommend you be very very careful about them.

[evet636]

Baby pills are responsible for decreased libido.I used to take pills for about 2 and a half years.Though my doctor prescribed them, she did never mentioned anything about it, so I thought it was a matter of stress or something that I was never in the mood.I find out that those pills are totally responsible about it.I cut them off.My libido started to getting better only after a year and a half later.And this days,two years later, I've totally recovered. So i recommend you be very very careful about them.

[Bstelz]

I heard about this new product called femtra. Apparently men have been buying it in bulk for their girlfriends. It's actually becoming like crack to women. it's been around for a while.  My roommate got some and she said it actually works. I get why people say they didn't orgasm.. They femtra'd now...