I cant get wet and dont want sex anymore, used to be very horny. why?

Question

Im not interested in sex anymore. I am 23, used to be wet all the time. never had a problem, and i always wanted sex. have been with the same boyfriend for 2 years and always had a healthy sex life. we moved in together 4 months ago. and for close to two months i have been so dry and not interested at all. why am i dry??? it is putting a lot of added stress on living together. why would things change so much? the facts: i am busy and kind of stressed at a newish job, he was out of work for a while. i am on the pill but is has been the same one for over a year, and i have never had weird side effects with it. i had a UTI a month ago or so. i think that is gone. Otherwise, i am eating the same, trying to stay hydrated, and just wishing that i was still interested in my partner. and not wanting to be in bed with him is frustrating, i am finding myself angry at him for things i shouldnt be. I do not have doubts that i still love him, i do, and i want to want him to touch me. i just dont crave it.
any thoughts? its driving me crazy. 
thanks...

DemonicAngel · Answer

Dear God there is no love in the world anymore ppl are apparently thinkin in terms of sex. None of you believe that your husbands ( partners) see the value in you as a person and apparently you feel as though they are using you but what happened to getting to know the other person. Go out and do something spend time together , write love letters, share hobbies with each other , cook a meal together, go to the god damn park just do something that affirms love trust and respect in the relationship, Love first then sex.

AnonymousAsh · Answer

I am in the same position! I’m 24 and my boyfriend of nearly 4 years is 30. He is ALWAYS horny and I’m never horny, not even when he touches me. Please help!

Nataliacandysours · Answer

This is normal. When you become comfortable and happy with your partner, you lose the drive for sex because, very simply, you know you can have it whenever you want. It's on tap. This might sound like a bad thing but it isn't. As humans, sex drive is meant for reproduction. We crave it most when we know we can't have it, or when we know if we don't have it now, we won't have it again for a really long time. This is why affairs are exciting, but equally wrong because you're hurting the person you really love and are happy with. When in a happy relationship, of course sex because less exciting because there's less mystery. But try to see it from the point of view that you love your partner and are happy and comfortable. If you weren't, you wouldn't be feeling so indifferent about sex. So try cuddling and living your partner and try showing them your love through sex instead, maybe it will work. 

If not, there's plenty of ways to spice things up. From getting a hotel room to change the scenery, to role play etc. 

My partner and I were like rabbits when we first met. We couldn't stop romping. Got to like 7 times per day eventually. But when we became official and have now been together for 4 years, he's still up for it but I'm always putting it off. This was until I researched why this happens to women. It's totally normal and just means you're happy.

faithlaw · Answer

Thought I was alone

Amore13 · Answer

When you feel that way, maybe you are just one of the empowered women out there who is okay to be on their own. Don't worry about it. Find yourself first. Look on other things that you really wanted to do, after all sex is just a part of our being as man or woman, we can go on with or without it, or by seldom or often engaging in it. Don't force yourself Miss. I am sure you can do great things instead of worrying yourself if what you are feeling is normal. :)

xoxsuga · Answer

Stress contributes greatly to loss of libido, as can varying horomone levels. The pill can play a part in this, but so can a multitude of natural factors such as disrupted sleeping schedule, drugs, or eating unhealthy foods. Either of these things may well also be the reason for your lack of lubrication.

On top of that, excitement and mystery are key ingredients for psychological stimulation of desire. Key ingredients for a lasting love relationship are stability and routine. In otherwords, moving in and having a more 'serious' relationship is in direct conflict with with you getting turned on.
Not indefinitely, but it's something to look into. There are plenty of sex therapists and researchers that write books on just this topic.

DebbLW1 · Answer

Idk about all that, Angel.  I am 61 years old and have had the same problems for a LONG time.  I've been married to the same guy for 41 years, been through hell & back, and now that we are free of kids & financial problems, you would think that the sex cup would overflow!  Not necessarily.  I have the Sahara Desert down there & I'd MUCH rather watch a movie--or do just about anything else--than have sex.  I love the guy but am not at all aroused by him.  And I am NOT shopping for another to break in at this point!  Of course the fact that he has ED doesn't help, but I'm not even into self-stimulation.  So far I haven't heard a great solution for this problem, but it's comforting to know that I am not alone.

cashmier227 · Answer

Nothing is wrong with you.....I am going through the same thing right now....Maybe the both of us been with the same person for way too long and need some other man........My guy begs for it,i sometimes do it just to make him happy but feel disgusted after.I would just let him get a quickie and send me on my way.....What is wrong with me?

natashikins · Answer

I am struggling with the same problem don't get wet anymore I have had a affair cause of this and I got really wet with the other man I am back too been faithfull too my husband again but am in the same boat dnt knw wht too do I am with my hubby for 12 years already and have 3 kids there is no SPARK AT ALL!!! IF SOMEONE OUT THERE CRACKS THE CODE FOR THIS PLsS POST

xexe · Answer

-.- people are saying lube alot.
wel ive tryed it, durex,. and k'y.  because i dont get wet.
and tbh it doesent work, i feel like im loosin my v; all over again. and it feels horrible. it actually makes me cry, im not a very loose person so i cant just have sex easily. i get very emotional now when we try. the thoughts off not being good enough... its horrible.
im 18. 
iswel. i used to be ok, sex always hurted at first. but ive been checked out. and im fine. and ive been on the pill for a while. so icame off it 2 months ago. i started another one for a week. and thought. No. yano what? why am i taking something... i dont need. because i havent had sex for like 6 months whilst taking the pill. im so upset with my doctor to. they dont seem to know alot around here. they cant help me with my sex problem' real help costs money. i dont have that money.
all they say is this pill stops against pregnancy' but they never tell you the side affects to the libido, they just say keep swappin to you know whats best. my mum doesent help me. and my sister just says ' Oh maybe you dont want it anymore. and thts that'. all ive got is the internet to look for answers, im not stressed about my life. im only stressed  when it comes to thinking my libido has been killed. 
and i wont be a normal person like my friends.. all enjoying something i cant have.
like at the end off a party were everyone goes off with there boyfreends to do stuff. and i just end up going to sleep with mine. because im not in the mood, im not in the mood when im on alcohol, im not in the mood with mdma nothing makes me in the mood. porn discusts me.
i dont think sex is amazing anymore.

angels786 · Answer

im going through the same situation my an my hubby been married for 2 years and i love him soo much thats not the question.. but i just had a baby girl and im a bit stressed out maybe thats why i havent been getting wet,,usually i alwayz use to be wet.. just try to eat healty and drink alot of water im sure it ill help and relax yourself .. im my country what ladies do is drink warm milk every morning and night and eat as much warm things as u can like eggs.. peanuts cashews.. and all the warmth will get out off your body and you will get wet.. try it for a week.

vern20 · Answer

I myself use to be very horny with my partner as well almost everyday i would have sex and i would get wet and enjoy it, but since i have moved in with him into my parents home. It just doesn't feel like right anymore. I have to be very quiet so my parents wont hear me,but i do it for the sake of him. i dont enjoy it anymore not even for him to touch me period whats wrong with me!! im 20 years old and we have been together for 2 years some advice please.

Sydney1 · Answer

one word LUBE

butterflyluvr286 · Answer

i use to feel like you some time ago and this might be strange to say but thats how i found out i am a les try something with a chick not a close freind that will make probs but you might be a les and just dont know it yet or just affaid there is nothing wrong with who you are its not a choice to be who we are.

smellsweet · Answer

Try being single for a while! this is exaclty what happened to me. I felt used by men, as if i was an object. And i stayed in these relationships because i wanted the intimacy.. the conversations etc. I really suggest being single for a while. I had loads of old relationship strings hanging around me and i cut all my ties and avoided all sex for about a year.. NOW ive found someone i REALLY LIKE!!! :D and its good as we're getting to know each other and we enjoy being together with NO SEX!!! its great! dont look for a relationship. Learn to love yourself and love being single, then if you find someone worth you, and worth having a relationship with go for it. And make sure its built on something solid, which doesnt involve sex. Then, if sex does come into it it will be so much better! good luck. xxx


And about the drynes in the main question. Im struggling with the same problem. I just dont seem to get wet.. even sometimes when i want sex! i dont feel aroused however i just would like it? i dont want to use lube because im so young! i feel i want it to come naturally

sparkle27 · Answer

I am having the same problem.. I am beginning to hate sex.. I hate the way I feel afterwards.. I feel gross and need to take a shower.. or I feel like I have been used... I was married and just got a divorce recently.. I would have sex with him because that is what he wanted. it would get to the point were he would beg or tell me that I am his wife and I should want to do it.. I would hate it.. I would rush to the shower to wash it all away.. I didnt want to have kids with him either.. we finially got a divorce.. and I have started a new relationship and now I feel even worse.. like I am just there for him to have sex with.. I never get anything out of it.. I have never "get mine" so to speak.. they always do.. and when they are done they get up and go.. I am beginning to hate men as well.. I dont know what is wrong with me. I want a relationship and I want it to be healthy but I can't seem to get that from anyone..sex is always an issue.. I wish is wasnt, I have never found it important.. I am 27 now and still have never really enjoyed sex,, i would rather make out then have sex. what is wrong with me..

sk2006a · Answer

as for the dryness issue, try using a lubricant such as k-y.

redheadwife · Answer

what help with me living with my man and we started fighting alot . GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Being stuck in closed in space tends to make people fight more. John and I go out into the country now when we start fighting too much then we come back loving each other more then before and are more relax.

redheadwife · Answer

Wetness can mean alot of things for me its cause my body products extra natural bacteria and thats why I'm usually wet. It could be something as simple as your body cleaning its self. There shouldnt worry unless it starts to have a colour or an odour, or other problems then go to the doctor other then that you should like your fine.

seaside333 · Answer

thank you ladies, ill try to relax. you are so helpful.

Avaheart · Answer

All i can suggest is to talk to him about it. You'll be amazed at how intimant you can get without needing or wanting intercause. Talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels about the situation, and maybe he can suggest some ways to make you "want" him again.

punkybear · Answer

When my fiance and I first moved in together omg we fought a LOT! The whole dynamic of the relationship changes when you move in together because you learn things about each others habits and stuff that you didn't know about and it can drive you crazy! Anyway, we got through that "adjustment period" (because that is all it is) and we are now back to normal. You will be fine soon. You are just getting to know each other in a different way. Good luck!

NadiaJ · Answer

My fiancee and I just moved in together as well. And we have had alot of stress in our life to... alot. I think its just stress. Stress can do alot to your body and your sex drive. 

All you can do is just try to relax and know that all hard times eventually end in good ones.

I cant get wet and dont want sex anymore, used to be very horny. why?

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