Aa
I don't know what to think! CAUTION!!
this has nothing to do with my pregnancy..
and the CAUTION is because of the topic of abortions.
my good friend recently found out shes pregnnat. she has a bf who loves her very very much and was very excited. she was kinda happy, kinda worried...typically feelings. shes only 18 and hes either her age or a little older. she lives with her aunt and uncle, because she has way too many issues with her mother. and i knew she told her mother about the pregnancy, but hadnt yet informed her aunt and uncle for fear of what they would think. we would talk about things, and i recomended my OB and she went for a few visits. i havent really talked to her that much lately. i called her today and she told me she was sorry she didnt call me back but a lot of stuff went down the other day. she told me she might get rid of the pregnancy! because her aunt and uncle dont want her being pregnant, and if she chooses to have the baby then she would have to leave the house. i told her why cant she just move in with her bf and his mom (who LOVES her) or why cant she move back with her mother. she said she doesnt want to put that on her bf and his family and her mom doenst want her back in her house.
ok i dont beleive in abortions except for a few rare cases. but i kno a few ppl that have had an abortion. and its their choice. but im pregnant. i just cant even begin to think about that. and i told her i dont want her to regret her decision because she cant take it back. she said she has talked about her feeligs with her bf and hes kinda feelign the same way. (that their too young. what about a future. college. etc, and their will be other times) i can understand that.
but then again i HAVE a supportive family (well not grammy and my uncle) but my immediate family supports me and is very excited. not evey1 has a supportive family and it makes me sad. yes we are young but we arnt that young. and its not like we cant do it. shes a stong person. who has an equally strong person with her.
im going to support any decision she makes cuz shes my good friend. she said she has not made up her mind yet tho. ill be here for her no matter what because i can only imagin how hard what shes going thru is and if she chooses to terminate this pregnancy thats going to be even harder on her. i kno its not my body and my life, but it is a life. no matter how small. its a life. and i feel like she will regret it. the baby deserves a chance. it didnt do anything to deserve death.maybe im even more upset and emotional because i am pregnant and due to have my son in a month, but i dont know.
i dont like how ppl (espically teenagers) choose to sleep together unprotected, get pregnant and then not want to take responsiblities for it. espically when its a LIFE. yeah my ex and i slept together, unprotected, got pregnant, but i CHOOSE to love and want to bring this baby into this world. yes things are hard. and their going to be hard being a teenag mom. but LIFE IS HARD! its not the end of the world, others have done it and turned out ok.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR SAY TO HER. I DONT KNO IF I SHOULD SAY ANYTHING TO HER. I DONT KNO WHAT I CAN DO.
and the CAUTION is because of the topic of abortions.
my good friend recently found out shes pregnnat. she has a bf who loves her very very much and was very excited. she was kinda happy, kinda worried...typically feelings. shes only 18 and hes either her age or a little older. she lives with her aunt and uncle, because she has way too many issues with her mother. and i knew she told her mother about the pregnancy, but hadnt yet informed her aunt and uncle for fear of what they would think. we would talk about things, and i recomended my OB and she went for a few visits. i havent really talked to her that much lately. i called her today and she told me she was sorry she didnt call me back but a lot of stuff went down the other day. she told me she might get rid of the pregnancy! because her aunt and uncle dont want her being pregnant, and if she chooses to have the baby then she would have to leave the house. i told her why cant she just move in with her bf and his mom (who LOVES her) or why cant she move back with her mother. she said she doesnt want to put that on her bf and his family and her mom doenst want her back in her house.
ok i dont beleive in abortions except for a few rare cases. but i kno a few ppl that have had an abortion. and its their choice. but im pregnant. i just cant even begin to think about that. and i told her i dont want her to regret her decision because she cant take it back. she said she has talked about her feeligs with her bf and hes kinda feelign the same way. (that their too young. what about a future. college. etc, and their will be other times) i can understand that.
but then again i HAVE a supportive family (well not grammy and my uncle) but my immediate family supports me and is very excited. not evey1 has a supportive family and it makes me sad. yes we are young but we arnt that young. and its not like we cant do it. shes a stong person. who has an equally strong person with her.
im going to support any decision she makes cuz shes my good friend. she said she has not made up her mind yet tho. ill be here for her no matter what because i can only imagin how hard what shes going thru is and if she chooses to terminate this pregnancy thats going to be even harder on her. i kno its not my body and my life, but it is a life. no matter how small. its a life. and i feel like she will regret it. the baby deserves a chance. it didnt do anything to deserve death.maybe im even more upset and emotional because i am pregnant and due to have my son in a month, but i dont know.
i dont like how ppl (espically teenagers) choose to sleep together unprotected, get pregnant and then not want to take responsiblities for it. espically when its a LIFE. yeah my ex and i slept together, unprotected, got pregnant, but i CHOOSE to love and want to bring this baby into this world. yes things are hard. and their going to be hard being a teenag mom. but LIFE IS HARD! its not the end of the world, others have done it and turned out ok.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR SAY TO HER. I DONT KNO IF I SHOULD SAY ANYTHING TO HER. I DONT KNO WHAT I CAN DO.
i think sometimes when you feel so overwhelmed...which is normal in the beginning...what the people around you say...epecially those you have great respect for and in which you look up to you begin doubting yourself...i know i did in the beginning of my pregnancy..my dad was distraught but man now he regrets even having suggested an abortion...he loves his grandson and loves being called grampa...i couldnt imagine life without my son..for years i longed for something missing and i never knew what it was...i had soo much love that i wanted to be a mother,,,
to me prsonally she seems as though someones put thoughts in her head...id tell her youre there 100% either way however you dont like the idea..probably because you know what pregnancy is about...seeing your little one..feeling your little one..etc...she doesnt.
i agree with everyone that she ought to have some education on it how alot felt after...maybe find a forum somewhere about it???
i would bring up her initial reaction and ask why the sudden change and to make sure its something she wants and not just what her aunt and uncle want...good luck:)
to me prsonally she seems as though someones put thoughts in her head...id tell her youre there 100% either way however you dont like the idea..probably because you know what pregnancy is about...seeing your little one..feeling your little one..etc...she doesnt.
i agree with everyone that she ought to have some education on it how alot felt after...maybe find a forum somewhere about it???
i would bring up her initial reaction and ask why the sudden change and to make sure its something she wants and not just what her aunt and uncle want...good luck:)
I do agree with Peek. If she's going to be an unfit mother after the baby's here, because she didn't want it in the first place, the child's quality of life will not be great. But, that's a huge decision that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. Do the best you can to make sure she educates herself on abortion, adoption and parenthood. Hopefully she makes the right choice....
i feel bad for the baby as well. its a hard place she put me in. because she came to me with the "good" news she was pregnant, then talked to me about her feelings, then tells me shes not sure if she wants to keep it. shes my good friend so i dont wanna push my own thoughts on her. but yet i want her to make the right decision and be ok with whatever it may be
She can't hold the baby and give it away, but she can kill it and thats ok in her book?? If thats her thinking then maybe she doesn't need to be a parent at all. You do what you gotta do to take care of kids, all I've heard are excuses. She was big enough to do the deed, but now she's to young to take responsibility. Thats sad. I was pregnant at 18 years old. I worked full time at a drug store for min. wage up to a week before I had him. I went back to work when he was 4 weeks old. I started college as a full time student working part time at night when he was 8 weeks old, I graduated when he was 1 years old. I made the same mistakes, but I was woman enough to steep up and do what I had to do for my child. I feel no sympathy for her, only for baby shes carying.
o i kno i opend up a can of worms. but i didnt post this in the pregnancy forum. and ive gotten a lot of support from here. and thats why i put the caution up there. im here for support so i can support my friend.
im due to go to lunch and to pick up a prom dress but we are going to discuss this. i feel like its not my place to try to advise her. because i guess im one sided in her case. but i dont think she knows how much this is hurting me! im choose to keep my baby and im due to have him soon. its hard when im bringing a life into this world and someone else is thinking about taking away a life. i will give her the different ways of the procedure so hopefully she will see how horrible it is. and i didnt know it can have effects on further pregnancys but if she knew that i think she would think twice. cuz she told me...theres always time for another
she does want the baby. she wants to go to college. she wants to move into a place with her bf. but then again....she feels as tho she CANT have this baby. she would get kicked outta her house. shes prob scarred if she moved in with her bf and his mom that will damage their relationship. and i gues she feels that she cant go to college. she would only have to delay it for a year or even less. its not like she wouldnt be able to do it. im hoping its the hormones and the pressure and everything else right now. but im praying she doenst make a quick decision. she needs time to think about this for herself.
im due to go to lunch and to pick up a prom dress but we are going to discuss this. i feel like its not my place to try to advise her. because i guess im one sided in her case. but i dont think she knows how much this is hurting me! im choose to keep my baby and im due to have him soon. its hard when im bringing a life into this world and someone else is thinking about taking away a life. i will give her the different ways of the procedure so hopefully she will see how horrible it is. and i didnt know it can have effects on further pregnancys but if she knew that i think she would think twice. cuz she told me...theres always time for another
she does want the baby. she wants to go to college. she wants to move into a place with her bf. but then again....she feels as tho she CANT have this baby. she would get kicked outta her house. shes prob scarred if she moved in with her bf and his mom that will damage their relationship. and i gues she feels that she cant go to college. she would only have to delay it for a year or even less. its not like she wouldnt be able to do it. im hoping its the hormones and the pressure and everything else right now. but im praying she doenst make a quick decision. she needs time to think about this for herself.
After having worked in this field for so long, the biggest tragedy I see is the women with unplanned and unwanted pregnancies, who get talked into keeping a baby they don't want.
You've opened up a can of worms here, Kim.
You've opened up a can of worms here, Kim.
I'd tell her to look up abortion on the computer have her look at some of the pictures, see what they actually do to these poor babies and see if she still feels the same.
It IS horrible, but that's what SHE needs to see....how far along is she?
http://survivors.la/first-trimester-abortion-procedures.asp
That link explains the different procedures for first trimester abortions and also lists some complications that could arise.
http://www.knowledgeisempowering.com/Information/options/options.htm
this also has some good information on all 3 choices...and resources.
In my experience, the majority of women who have had an abortion regret it for the rest of theirs lives...if later in life they have a miscarriage or any other pregnancy problems they feel as though they are being punished for having done it. I know, I had one when I was 17 and I am now 30 and I still regret it, I wish so badly that I had educated myself more before doing it. I'm ashamed of it and rarely admit to it unless I feel it will help others. When I found out I was pregnant this time I went to the local "free" clinic for a confirmation test. In talking with one of the volunteers she admitted that she volunteers at that clinic trying to give women other options becuase SHE had one when she was young and she too regrets it.
Statistics are ALSO higher for a couple to stay together if they HAVE a baby than if they abort it.
http://survivors.la/first-trimester-abortion-procedures.asp
That link explains the different procedures for first trimester abortions and also lists some complications that could arise.
http://www.knowledgeisempowering.com/Information/options/options.htm
this also has some good information on all 3 choices...and resources.
In my experience, the majority of women who have had an abortion regret it for the rest of theirs lives...if later in life they have a miscarriage or any other pregnancy problems they feel as though they are being punished for having done it. I know, I had one when I was 17 and I am now 30 and I still regret it, I wish so badly that I had educated myself more before doing it. I'm ashamed of it and rarely admit to it unless I feel it will help others. When I found out I was pregnant this time I went to the local "free" clinic for a confirmation test. In talking with one of the volunteers she admitted that she volunteers at that clinic trying to give women other options becuase SHE had one when she was young and she too regrets it.
Statistics are ALSO higher for a couple to stay together if they HAVE a baby than if they abort it.
we had talked about adoption and abortion when she told me she was pregnant and was feeling overwellmed. she said she could never give her child up for adoption because she thinks it would be too hard to carry a baby for 9 months and then hold it, then give it away. ( i dont think i could ever do it too) and she said she didnt think she could have an abortion....guess that feeling changed.
what are the effects it can have on her body? how many differnt ways are their? i have no idea on any of it and im too scarred to search it on the internet. (cuz ive type in _ _ weeks pregnant under google to try and see how big the baby is and how the babys developing n theyve showen some awful pics of aborted fetus's. its horrible. and not what i want to see)
what are the effects it can have on her body? how many differnt ways are their? i have no idea on any of it and im too scarred to search it on the internet. (cuz ive type in _ _ weeks pregnant under google to try and see how big the baby is and how the babys developing n theyve showen some awful pics of aborted fetus's. its horrible. and not what i want to see)
ultimately the decision comes down to her...I think it would be your part as a good friend to make sure she is 100% educated....she needs to know the effects it can have on her body, HOW the procedure is performed and precisely how they actually "terminate" the baby. Research your area and find a "free" clinic that has ultrasound capabilities and ask her to do you the favor of going to that one time. Ask her to talk to people who have HAD abortions and find out how they felt after the fact. Tell her that you will be beside her no matter what but that you feel that this is a decision she should not go into unprepared. Make sure she understands that adoption is a very real option.
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