Aa
I have a confession to make :(
Hi everyone. I have been posted here several times and i find all of you pple here are very understanding and suportive. There is something i kept in my heart and its been bothering me. Any of you who know me i have been writing about my ex who once found out that i was pregnant left me and then keep asking me to have an abortion saying that he is not ready for the baby. Well here is the truth.. i have been with hims for nearly 3years and our relationship sort of never changed for all that time. All of my friends got engaged, married had kids and we were on a same spot as we were when we first started going out. It did bother me a lot and we have talked throw but he was saying that we need to get to now each other better... Anyway accidently i got pregnant and we've been going out for like1.5 that time and he was so upset and were pushing me everyday to have an aboriton which i didSad [:(]at that time n i could never can forget myself that stupid mistake, he told me that it would be nice if we have children when we get married and have family, i bought it stupid meCrying [:'(]we carried on dating and as you all know now i am pregnant again but this time i sort of planned itEmbarrassed [:$]i know it is embaracing to say, but after my last abortion i went on a pill and was on it for 6 month, the pill gave me a lot of stomak pains and i stoped it, the worse thing is that i didnt tell my bf about stopping it and i really feel bad about it till now i am torchuring myself for thatCrying [:'(]. We carry on having sex for about 4 month and i didnt get pregnant and then boom and here we go again... i was shock and happy..but my ex was really mad..i am going to keep this baby but i just feel that i liyed to him and ive done very decetful thing. It bothers me everyday now and i dnt know what to do. I really loved him that time and i was ready for children off course i know it takes both sids to want but i GUESS I"M JUST A BAD PERSON
shelfish, what in the world was I thinking....lol this was writen at like 1:30 in the morning I was suffering from Insomnia. Sorry that is supposed to be SELFISH. Duh
I think it is terrible that he convinced you to have an abortion the first time. and after being with you for three years and being angry over this pregnancy he is foolish, imature, and obveously is shelfish. You are not a bad person.
There was a breakdown in communication between the two of you. He obveously is not the one for you if he got mad cause you wern't on the pill. He should have been protecting himself by wearing protection himself. I hope that you have strong family ties and that your family is going to support you while you bring your new baby in the world. Don't feel guilty. Move past this. There is some one out there for you that will except you and communicate with you. Congrates on the baby and good luck......Don't worry this is part of gods ultimate plan for you and your unborn child. this child is a gift to you from god. Kind of a do over........
There was a breakdown in communication between the two of you. He obveously is not the one for you if he got mad cause you wern't on the pill. He should have been protecting himself by wearing protection himself. I hope that you have strong family ties and that your family is going to support you while you bring your new baby in the world. Don't feel guilty. Move past this. There is some one out there for you that will except you and communicate with you. Congrates on the baby and good luck......Don't worry this is part of gods ultimate plan for you and your unborn child. this child is a gift to you from god. Kind of a do over........
First of all it was wrong for him to make you get an abortion, it takes two to tango. I understand how you feel, when I was 21 I got pregnant and it was at a bad time in my life I had just broken up with my bf but was still in love with him but I didnt want to show him I hurt so right away I started going out with someone else. And the bad thing is I got pregnant by him but was still in love with my ex, and the sad thing was this person really cared for me but I hurt him to go back with my ex. Any ways I ended up having an abortion and I just didnt kill one baby, I killed 2. I was pregnant with twins. And it is something that still haunts me till this day. I want to have twins to make up for what I did but untill now I havent been able to have twins again but am still trying. It happend 12 yrs ago, and since then I met my husband, got married, and so far have four children. I am happy but still want to make up for what I did. It's something that hurts. Stay strong and make the right decisions. It sounds like maybe you should really look at your relationship and see if it's really gonna make it or not. He should be happy not mad. Happy for the blessing that God has givin him. If he REALLY loves you then he should be happy.
Sweetie, please just come and lay your head on my shoulder. I'm giving you a big cyber-squeeze. Make whatever decision you think is in your and this babies best interest, I'm sure that's what your bf is going to do. Keep your head up because it won't help anything to start feeling sorry for yourself right now. You are going to have to be strong and know that you are not alone. If you ever need to talk, we're here.
Reading that I feel bad for both of u. 1st off u said u accidently got pg the 1st time & then u let him talk u into an abortion, which to me seems so wrong of him. Now u've gotten pg again on purpose w/out him knowing which of course isn't fair to him, but my main concern would be the babies u make w/ this guy, if he thinks u will abort another baby. The main thing now is for u to realize this baby is gonna be here (since u said u wanted to the keep baby) so try to look at the bright side u can raise this baby w/ or w/out a man & do fine either way :) Not saying by no means was it right to trick him but when u have sex theres always a chance of getting pg so if someone is so set on never having a baby & if they do get a girl pg then think a woman should abort, thats horrible so I'd say u r better off w/out him!!! I'm sure u have learned your lesson on this & now know no man is worth all the pain u went thru earlier w/the 1st abo. Now u r not horrible or terrible just remember to stay focused on this baby no matter his reaction, I'm sure your hormones r going crazy at the moment too but things will brighten up & you'll get so excited before long, babies just a way of making us look at life in a diff. but better way :) So your confession is out so now it's time to forgive yourself & start healing!! Life is short, Take Care of yourself & baby :) Everyone messes up!!!
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON!!! We all make mistakes. I would be honest with your other half. He needs to know the truth. And you know what they say, LOVE CONQUERS ALL!! Good Luck sweetie!
All of us have made stupid mistakes. I myself have made my share & then some. You have to focus on your baby now. Babies are innocent and don't ask to be brought in this world. They all deserve love and protection. Take care of yourself and baby.
You are not a bad person, you have made some stupid mistakes, but so have I and so has everyone else in the world.
Your boyfriend has the right to be mad. You took the choice of when he should become a father away from him. That is a huge violation of trust. You can't have a relationship based on lies. Maybe he will forgive you and you will be able to work things out.
Now is the time for you to focus on this baby. Are you ready for this? Are you in the financial position to raise this child on your own? Do you have a support network? This is a lifelong committment.
I was a single mother for 10 years. I was through college and was gainfully employed and I struggled. I loved my daughter and in no way regret having her and raising her, but it was hard.
I wish you well.
Your boyfriend has the right to be mad. You took the choice of when he should become a father away from him. That is a huge violation of trust. You can't have a relationship based on lies. Maybe he will forgive you and you will be able to work things out.
Now is the time for you to focus on this baby. Are you ready for this? Are you in the financial position to raise this child on your own? Do you have a support network? This is a lifelong committment.
I was a single mother for 10 years. I was through college and was gainfully employed and I struggled. I loved my daughter and in no way regret having her and raising her, but it was hard.
I wish you well.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think the thing about making big mistakes in life is to try to pull what you can from them to be a better person.
You have things to sort out emotionally: remorse from the abortion, an indifferent boyfriend who doesn't sound like he wants to get married, your desire to keep up with your friends in that department, your manipulation of the situation for another baby, and your present predicament of being pregnant by a boyfriend who doesn't want a more mature relationship with you than he does already. That is a lot on anyone's plate! Have you gone for any counseling or advice from a professional, to help you sort this all out? It almost sounds like too much to bear alone.,
If you can't afford counseling and can't find free services in your area, try a clergyman, do you go to church? You might get counseled there to put the baby up for adoption, but even with that there will be assistance in getting the list above figured out so you can pull your life together. It seems like you have to go in reverse order of how I named them -- deal with the fact that you are pregnant and your boyfriend is not interested in taking the relationship further first. (Make decisions in the best interests of the baby, there.) Deal with the relationship, second, either end it or keep it, but with a clear head and for good reasons. Deal with the remorse over manipulating your boyfriend by getting pregnant, next. (Incidentally, don't do that one ever again.) Deal with the grief over the abortion, next. Deal with your desire to keep up with all your pals who seem to be moving on, last.
Then find some way to make your life more fulfilling, sweetheart. What you have been doing sounds like you had nothing bigger in your world to make you happy, no service to humanity or job that delighted you or anything. We all need something to make us pleased with ourselves, even if it is hard work.
Can you get counseling? I think you can pull yourself out of the deepest hole, if you try. Please take a first step, I believe you can.
(((HUGS)))
Annie
You have things to sort out emotionally: remorse from the abortion, an indifferent boyfriend who doesn't sound like he wants to get married, your desire to keep up with your friends in that department, your manipulation of the situation for another baby, and your present predicament of being pregnant by a boyfriend who doesn't want a more mature relationship with you than he does already. That is a lot on anyone's plate! Have you gone for any counseling or advice from a professional, to help you sort this all out? It almost sounds like too much to bear alone.,
If you can't afford counseling and can't find free services in your area, try a clergyman, do you go to church? You might get counseled there to put the baby up for adoption, but even with that there will be assistance in getting the list above figured out so you can pull your life together. It seems like you have to go in reverse order of how I named them -- deal with the fact that you are pregnant and your boyfriend is not interested in taking the relationship further first. (Make decisions in the best interests of the baby, there.) Deal with the relationship, second, either end it or keep it, but with a clear head and for good reasons. Deal with the remorse over manipulating your boyfriend by getting pregnant, next. (Incidentally, don't do that one ever again.) Deal with the grief over the abortion, next. Deal with your desire to keep up with all your pals who seem to be moving on, last.
Then find some way to make your life more fulfilling, sweetheart. What you have been doing sounds like you had nothing bigger in your world to make you happy, no service to humanity or job that delighted you or anything. We all need something to make us pleased with ourselves, even if it is hard work.
Can you get counseling? I think you can pull yourself out of the deepest hole, if you try. Please take a first step, I believe you can.
(((HUGS)))
Annie
I wouldn't necessarily say you're a bad person, you just made a bad choice. It's bad because you deceived someone. I'm sorry--I can't remember everything you wrote, did you say that your boyfriend is not with you anymore?
I applaud the fact that you are keeping this baby, because it would've been very sad if you had gotten pregnant on purpose, and then because he got angry, you decided to have an abortion.
I had an abortion when I was 16, so I know how you feel after...it is something that I will never forget. So, I totally understand your wanting to keep this one.
I guess what we need to know is, do you want to be with your boyfriend? Because if you do, the only way is to give him time. If he loves you, then maybe he'll be willing to begin the long process of trusting you again. I can't promise that he will, because deception hurts. But, usually, love covers a multitude of sins!!! (i'm not calling you a sinner, that is a "figure of speech").
If he wants to try to work things out with you, you have to be completely honest with him. For everything. Be patient as he tries to work through his feelings.
But, if he doesn't want to be with you, you have no other option but to go on with your life, and the life that is inside you. You can do it. Don't let the way this child's life began affect the rest of his/her life. Love your baby!! That's the most important person in this whole scenario now.
I applaud the fact that you are keeping this baby, because it would've been very sad if you had gotten pregnant on purpose, and then because he got angry, you decided to have an abortion.
I had an abortion when I was 16, so I know how you feel after...it is something that I will never forget. So, I totally understand your wanting to keep this one.
I guess what we need to know is, do you want to be with your boyfriend? Because if you do, the only way is to give him time. If he loves you, then maybe he'll be willing to begin the long process of trusting you again. I can't promise that he will, because deception hurts. But, usually, love covers a multitude of sins!!! (i'm not calling you a sinner, that is a "figure of speech").
If he wants to try to work things out with you, you have to be completely honest with him. For everything. Be patient as he tries to work through his feelings.
But, if he doesn't want to be with you, you have no other option but to go on with your life, and the life that is inside you. You can do it. Don't let the way this child's life began affect the rest of his/her life. Love your baby!! That's the most important person in this whole scenario now.
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