I know this is not related but I need Help

[brooke1110]

Hello I am a 23 yr old single parent of a 4 yr old son.  i am a ft Spec Ed Teacher.  i met the man I thought was my life and my soulmate but that all came to an end when i found out that he was MARRIED!!!  So I immediatley left him alone and then 3 wks later I found out I was pregnant!  I am a christian woman and I do not belive in abortions at all!!  I was forced to have one before and that was earlier this year and I promised myself and God that I will not do it again!  Now I have not told him because I do not want to mess up his family!  They have a two yr old and his wife is pregnant righ now due in February!  And he always said I will leave her to be with you but she will leave and take my kids to California where she is from and then what!  I have been to there house which i couldn't tell it was no pics or anything of her or kids?  I am still so in love with him but I am doing the right thing by leaving him alone but this pregnancy thing is now abroad and I dont know what to do!  Our friendship/relationship will change I know he will turn ignorant toward me.  Plus I am still trying to figure out how I got pregnant on BC!!  I don't want to raise another child alone it's hard now with my son whsoe dad is not apart of his life?  My Best Friend said I should tell the wife but from my understanding this is his pattern well use to be lol when he was younger!  Plus his mother knows about me and is hiding it and they live together!!  Please help me I am young, pregant and in love and it is killing me!!  He wont leave me alone an he won't leave her alone and I dont want him to

[cougarcub]

remember that birth controll is not a definate answer to not getting pregnant. My mother got pregnant with me and all my brothers and sisters while she was on birth control, or after getting her tubes tied.
you need to let him know, his reaction to your news will tell you the most valuable things about him. If he acts ignorant and ignores you, then by all means honey, he wasnt the man you were looking for.
As for an alternative to abortion, think about adoption. if he turns his back and leaves you in the rain, then at least you wont think you just have the option of raising the child alone, or doing away with the child while its still "in cognito". seriously think about an adoption, and if you choose that, then make it an open adoption...that way if you ever want to know the child, then you can.

[Linzyluhoo]

IF he always told you that he would leave his wife for you...then how did you not know he was married???? This is going to take some soul searching on your part. I don't think anyone at this forum can tell you what to do?? This is an emotional issue not a medical issue. You are in a very tight situation, and I feel for you. I myself am a 23 yr old unwed mother. It is very hard, but very worthwhile. This situation your in sounds very familar to my friends. She did not get preg. but she did find out her boyfriend was married and had kids. She choose not to confront the wife and to just let him go....I understand of course in your situation that you are prego, so it's not quite that easy. Just remember the decisions that you make will affect everyone's life involved..Not just your own.
Good luck , I know whatever decision you do make ...It will be a hard one .Best wishes and Merry Christmas.

[awawtinmom3]

Hello I was in a similiar situation but It was by kids father I left him because he was cheating I was tired of it and moved to Texas.  I was pregnant again.  My mom made me tell him because she said what if something happen you don't want it on your conscious the reason your child does'nt know his or her father.