I thought Pregnancy WAS a Women's health concern???

Sorry, I understand you don't want people "taking up space", but pregnancy is a legitimate women's health concern, and so is trying to get pregnant. The maternal/child forum fills up VERY quickly, a lot quicker then this one. And yes, from the title of maternal/child it seems more geared towards mothers (already mothers). I post in both spots regarding TTC, but I don't think people should be prevented from posting about it here, since it is a legitimate women's health concern. Sorry for taking up this space, but it needed to be addressed. If you don't want to read about it, then don't read those posts. Maybe there should be a seperate forum for pregnancy/ttc questions altogether??? How do we go about that? I feel I get good answers from BOTH forums, sometimes better from one, sometimes better from the other. Also if there is a more SPECIFIC area, there are other areas as well on this site. Ie.: heart, mental health, dental etc.... Don't make people feel alienated. I think ALL women with ALL kinds of women's health issues should be welcome. God bless everyone and post away!=)

[blondie72]

Well said poetgirl.   That was my thoughts exactly and I agree maybe they shuold set up an actual pregnant/TTC forum.  Take Care.

[blondie72]

Go up to the top of this in the blue boxes where it says Contact and write to them and see what they say.  I won't hurt to try.  The worse they can say is no.  Let us know what you do and what they say.  Just explain that the womens forum is for "other" women's issues and that you feel the maternal one is for women who are already moms and see how they would feel about opening a Pregnancy and TTC forum.  Good Luck

[oceans3]

how about a "relationship" forum too????

[mimik]

Not sure if anyone has noticed but....if you were to post a new question, you have to choose a topic under each forum. The Womans Health forum has both Pregnancy and Relationships as a topic choice.So that means to me that pregnancy questions should be welcomed here and it is a womans issue. Good luck all u ttc'ers!!!! :)

[blondie72]

Hey you don't feel bad.  I don't feel you started anything.  You stated your opinion and some ppl went with it and some did not.  I feel we should be able to say anything and I also feel that pregnancy is a womens issue and you should be able to do it here or the maternal/child forum which I agree is good since A LOT of women have gone through it there and can offer a lot more support.  I also agree that this or any forum is NO place for Am I pg questions.  Well don't feel bad about it you did not harm.  Take Care.

[oceans3]

i also feel that opinions should be expressed whether for or against the heated subjects we have had previously. i feel its beneficial because the origional poster may be "waivering" on their decision or unaware of certain facts ect.. it is then after reading everyones opinions and/or factual information presented, the poster can make up their minds or change their minds due to what we have suggested. i mean if a 12/13 yr old is wanting to have an abortion, she most likely does not know all of the facts, emotions (short term,long term)..that go along with having one. she thinks once the baby is gone thats it. never thinking for a moment that that decision may haunt her in the future. teens think in the here and now. once she is informed and has listened to others experiences or what happens during the procedure, she may change her mind and realize it is not something she wants to go through with now. sometimes the young girls need a mother figure and cannot talk to their own mom or anyone else so they turn here for help. we need to act as their mom and help them to make the right decision for them whether or not we would make that one ourselves or want them to. sometimes we can give the young girl an idea of what moms really feel. for ex. probably "upset" that they are pregnant and go crazy but love them all the same and wont want that grandchild to leave their side after its born. girls dont know that that side of it. they think they will be kicked out of the house, disowned. remember sue from malaysia? i wonder what her decision was? or how she is doing? i can guarentee that we helped her in some way shape or form with all of our opinions however different. what if she didnt have us/this forum?

[monkeyflower]

"sometimes we can give the young girl an idea of what moms really feel. for ex. probably "upset" that they are pregnant and go crazy but love them all the same and wont want that grandchild to leave their side after its born."

It's great that you'd feel that way. But there are lots and lots and LOTS of people out there who would kick their daughter out in the street, or verbally abuse her for getting pregnant, or physically abuse her... and then go on to abuse the grandchild. I know someone that happened to. I also know a woman who was Catholic and decided not to have an abortion (because it was against her *religion*), then kicked her toddler down the stairs. I know a family who hasn't seen their *now homeless* teenage daughter in months, because she got pregnant.

So, if you really care about these kids, why don't YOU adopt one? Or two? See, the problem is that it's easy enough to tell someone else what to do. It's not as easy to live that way. I think you're entitled to your opinion, but I for one think it doesn't belong when someone is specifically asking for information about abortion. That person deserves actual scientific facts, not your beliefs.

[Wanting]

Thank you for understanding where I am was coming from!  

Yikes....this is turning into quite the post....

I strictly don't agree with abortions.  I feel that a fetus is a fetus.  Whether it be 1 week along or 9 months along.  It is a fetus/baby and you are killing a child and making the choice for that child that it shouldn't live, and not allowing it the chance.  I think that if you didn't plan to have a child and got pregnant, do what is best for you and your situation/life.  If you are not able to care for the child, physically/emotionally/mentally, let someone who can, do it.  If you want to come the end of your pregnancy then please do take care of your child as a mothers love is the greatest of all.

I am not trying to start anything with this one!!!  As we all have learned, we all have our own opinions and have the right to share them!!

Cheers.

[itsme25]

As long as women understand that the advise/opinions that they get here are only that, then ANY women's topic should be allowed and discussed - Even if it is not the opinion that you hold to.

I think it helps a woman who is ttc to here success stories for other women. I think we are all mature enough to know that we cannot diagnose pregnancy over the computer.

Pregnancy, abortion, adoption, TTC, sex, relationships..... these are all women's health issues.

If you don't want to read a "AM I PREGNANT" post then don't.

[itsme25]

"So, if you really care about these kids, why don't YOU adopt one?"

If a woman would CHOOSE to let her baby live instead of killing it then SURE!! I'll adopt one... or two.


"That person deserves actual scientific facts, not your beliefs."

Scientifically speaking, life begins at the moment of conception - like it or not.

I hope that I am still in the realm of "women's issues".

[oceans3]

geeze, i was ONLY giving that as ONE example (about the mother). my whole thing was we should welcome both sides of the fence so the origional poster could make their own informed decision based upon facts,others experiences and opinions that they may not have had coming into this. of course there are other circumstances where religion, culture come into play and that type of attitude (that i described upset, then joyful)does not always happen.i dont live that far off in the northeast. however,i would "hope" the mothers reactions after finding out their daughter is pregnant is not the norm (what you described). i understand that in other countries it is the norm and that is why many of us tried to help "sue in malaysia" by providing info. for her and other possible options so she could make an informed decision other than abortion or for her to be killed. she may not have realized she had other choices. i honestly believe there was enough info. for her across the board for her to decide what was best for her. she is not the only one over there to have gone through this. as a matter of fact if you scroll way down you will see another girl looking for advice (from sue) as a means of support. i just wanted to make it clear that everyones voice can be heard here no matter what our opinions are, no matter what the topic is and it is up to the person posting to decide for themselves. no need to quote me.

[troid]

i think what some people are trying to say is how are we supposed to answer the questions asking if your pregnant or not, no period, hpt says negative, blood tests are neg could i be pregnant? well if all the tests come back negative the most likely chance of you being pregnant is slim to none. i know it sometimes turns out that yes in fact you are pregnant. but come on, every day there is someone posting a question about the same thing. just search the forum questions and odds are you will find someone asking the same question that you are wondering about. i have no problem with it, i just dont read them, and maybe everyone else that is like me should just skip over them too.

[blondie72]

I agree with you as well and we get a TON of the Am I Pg posts over on the maternal/child forum as well.  I have found myself being rude to them because we can't tell them and it does get VERY aggravating.  I think other pregnancy questions would be fine for this forum or like poet said maybe there should be a preg/ttc forum.

[poetgirl1979]

Can we start a "petition" to get a new preg/ttc forum going???

[Wanting]

I agree with you as well as everyone else.  We all are entitled to our opinion.

EVERYONE - I seemed to have started something with my posting.... I didn't mean for it to get like this!  I should have kept my opinion in my head and not put it on here.  But I say what I feel.  Sorry if I offended anyone and go ahead and post whatever questions you have, be it TTC or whatever.  Like someone said above this somewhere, we all don't have to read every post if we don't feel it is what we are here for that day. We are all here to seek the opinions of others.  I have appreciated all of the opinions I have receive so far from my postings here, and in Maternal-child so will respect all of your future postings and try and give my opinion the best I can if I feel I am able to help!

Thanks ladies, have a great one!
*Wanting

[poetgirl1979]

O.k. but HOW do we do that???

[Christie2004]

My only problem is what I've stated before: womens problems  sometimes include concerns relating to unwanted pregnancy, and no one who comes here looking for answers or just talking about a problem doesn't deserves to be slammed or made to feel badly, or have a guilt trip laid on them.  

These forums seem to develop a particular "flavor" based on the majority of people posting.  At first it was mainly women's general health or other problems.  Recently there are lots of ladies (and I love you ALL) from the M-C forum, and these women are mainly TTC or preg and don't like reading about abortion or other similar things.  The M-C forum has developed it's own "flavor"--there are posts here (just go down a few here) who say it seems " too chummy" over there and people feel uneasy about joining in to what seems to be a group of old friends who chat about other subjects a lot of the time.  There is a wealth of info over there for ladies with preg or TTC questions, whether you have children yet or not.  The fact that some TTC ladies here don't feel at ease to post there is concerning.  I like friendship and talking as much as anyone else, but there is so much chatting about clothes, cars, weather, shopping, gas prices over there, that some don't feel they should interrupt, perhaps.

I think there are room for both topics here, but everyone using it needs to be respectful of the choices others make.  That's all I'm saying.  But this isn't my forum, or anyones forum.  Cindy and Phil are the ones to decide how this place should be used.

I think MedHelp actually created this forum to address the needs of women that are having womens health issues.  Lots of those concerns revolve around menstrual problems or the possibility of pregnancy questions.  Some don't have anything to do with womens health at all!  

There's room for everyone, but if you don't like questions about abortion or other related non-wanted pregnancy questions, you should be aware that not everyone shares your personal feelings, and that such questions ARE posted here.  

TTC forum might be an idea to explore with Cindy or Phil, since there are so many in that boat.  But I would hate to see this place become another Ivillage--there are so many forums there for every conceivable condition that it is hard to navigate and find what you are really looking for--hundreds of forums over there, it seems.  

Just my ramblings this afternoon after waking up.  Could be wrong, have been before and will be again.

[oceans3]

what happened to the post from med help stating that? when i first read it initially, i took it as saying its okay/fine to post about pregnancy or possibly pregnant because it is a womans health issue but when you post, dont word it "am i pregnant"? or "am i not"? we cannot determine whether or not someone is pregnant since they need to confirm it with a dr. that was my first instinct after reading it but i went to re-read it and its gone. thats just how i took it.

[troid]

wouldnt hurt to try

[poetgirl1979]

Wanting: Don't feel bad, I just feel that we should be able to post about TTC/pregnancy issues. I DO agree the "Am I pregnant" questions can get annoying.


Now regarding abortion, I have copied and pasted a post I posted a few days a go. It was about someone wanting to get pregnant again after an abortion(though I misunderstood and she actually had a miscarraige (miscarriage)), but it makes my point a view pretty well:

I am TOTALLY pro-life too, and it's HARD to support someone who has had an abortion, to have a baby. There is such a mix of emotions afterwards though and it's best to WAIT, untill those emotions settle down. I'm going to share with you, my experience with this awful thing called abortion. My husband was married for less then a year when he was 18/19. His ex got pregnant and had an abortion, he couldn't stop her. He regrets it every day. I see how devasting it can be first hand. He has moved on and wants to have kids with me now, we've been married 7 years. His child would have been 9 years old this past August, and even though he is doing well now , I'm sure he will ALWAYS think about that child. When we have kids, he will think about it, when they start to grow and go through what kids do, he will think about it. It hurts me too, because I love him so much. It hurts me, because we have to TRY to get pregnant and she just threw that baby away. So you see, an abortion is not just about the mother and baby, if affects SO many more. I'm sure a lot of guys don't care, but I'm sure of lot of guys DO! But can you see the dominoe effect here? How her one decision affected not just her life, the baby's, but also my husbands and ultimately me? There are so many in this world, on this board probably that would love and gladly adopt a baby someone doesn't want, just because you make one mistake, ie. unprotected sex, doesn't mean making another one will make up for it. Two wrongs do NOT equal a right. Please wait and think hard about your decision... I don't believe in abortion, but I DO belive in forgiveness, and just because you had an abortion, I do not believe you should never be allowed to have another child. But PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, think about it and wait. God bless you!

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;"
Jeremiah 1:4


P.S. Yes I think if someone came on here about abortion, they should be informed both ways. But in a respectful way, which I have tried and hopefully done above. I'm sorry though, I CANNOT keep quiet about this subject. I'm not sorry about my point of view, though.

God bless everyone!!! =)

[kimmie_n_angus]

well....so many topics hard to pick one to comment on first:)

TTC/PG forum: love the idea. i love the maternal/child one...i post there frequently. sometimes i do feel like i am invading someone else's party....but i think that is just my own emotions, not anybody's intention. i also have a 8 1/2 yr old son, so it is not an issue to see Q & A about children. but when you are TTCing or expecting....1st or 9th...it is nice to be with others in the same shoes....that goes for everything in life. threads do run out quiclky there and asking a TTC question in an open forum alot of times goes unanswered or feels strange. i love all the input from the ladies but i hate to interup their thread....it makes me feel rude. i think i am less bothered about the AM I PG posts than most others. they do get annoying...especially when there are 5 of them back to back. but i have come to realize that women's cycles can change during different points in her life and if her cycle was one way for 6 yrs and all her symptoms changed, maybe she is looking for some support that she is normal and support her to be brave enough to test. these women know we cannot tell the yes/no...they are just scared and you either really don't want to be PG or really really want to be PG you get nervous and anxious. i tell them that the sign and symptoms they are having are normal for early PG and AF and to go take a PG test if late or 14 DPO. then i move on.

ABORTION: sticky topic. i agree with poetgirl in the fact that it does affect everyone....so does keeping a PG that the father doesn't want. EVERYTHING we do affects others. my son's father wanted me to abort our son....i didn't. he hasn't seen him in 5 yrs...oh well. i am sorry for 'ruining' his life and causing my son to be fatherless for 8 1/2 yrs, but it was MY decision and MY body...and i just couldn't do it. i have DH now and he is adopting my son which everyone wins....ex will no longer owe child support and DS has a loving devoted father. i had a male friend who has a child w/ a woman in another country he pays support and sees his child as much as physically possible...and loves her dearly. he got who he thought was the woman of his dreams PG and she turned around and had an abortion after he begged her not to and MADE HIM PAY FOR IT! it crushed him. it was HER body and ultimately HER decision...she didn't want to have the baby and didn't want him to have either...yes she is very selfish, and i never liked her because she was so mean to my dear friend, but it was her body. i have supported my friend through this awful experience and his severe depression. i feel awful that there was nothing he could do...he is healing and i know he will remember this child forever. when i see an abortion thread...if i am not moody that day...i will go in see if i can offer any advice. i usually give facts...time limits, etc. i DO not give my opinion....just me. i always give all the possible options...have the baby, adoption, and abortion. every woman has the right to be informed about ALL her options no matter what i may personally feel....and abortion is a women's issue. if i am moody and got AF and another BFN....then i just skip those threads all together...it is better for the poster and for my spirit. i would hate offend anyone. sometimes woman are being pressured by their partner and need support to defy this person, or they had one and regret it and feel they need to be forgiven...there are so many possibilities. i think it is harder for PG/TTCers who want to have or are having a baby right now to emotionally handle hearing about abortion or not commenting. all the hormones and the desire to have a baby is so strong it is hurtful and angering to see someone aborting when i/you/we are having a hard time conceiving. so i just put my mood in check and decide if or not i should even open the thread.

thanks for listening to me and i hope everyone has a great weekend...love, hugs, and baby dust....kimmie

[blondie72]

I feel abortion is MURDER.  The little "BLOB" (which is what I think most ppl think this is at the early stage) has a freakin' heartbeat so therefore is a living thing.  I feel if abortion is legal and ppl have the "RIGHT" to do it then all of the murderers on death row have the right to be free because they took a life as well and I see NO difference.  That is my 2 cents and I will NEVER change my views on this.   I think the woman and the dr performing the procedure should be held accoutable.  It is just sad.

[monkeyflower]

Gee, it really is awfully pro-life to advocate killing doctors and women who have abortions. How loving and caring of you.

You folks are so hypocritical. You scream about abortion being murder, but have no problem with the death penalty or war, no problem killing actual living people. You are really something else.

[troid]

WELL SAID YOU GO GIRL

[poetgirl1979]

Please read my post I'm coming at this from seeing it personally affect someone I know, love and care about. Also,scientifically a baby's heart starts beating at 28 days, looooong before MOST women even know they are pregnant. So to stop the heart from beating isn't that death?

[blondie72]

Who in the heck said anything about war or death penalty etc????  I know all I said if it is legal to kill a baby then it should be legal to kill anyone.  I think war is wrong also and I think our poor men and women should just come home right now and just be done with it.  I don't know how I feel about the death penalty I guess I am for it in certain circumstances A life for a life.  Maybe ppl who have abortions should be on death row then as well. Kill AND BE killed.  Sorry my OPINION.   I am done with this thread now.

[troid]

goodbye

[kimmie_n_angus]

just for the record....i am pro-choice. i might not want an abortion ever, but whatever someone else does is their business. i hope my last post did not sound self righteous or too opinionated....it wasn't ment to. i have no problem answering medical questions with the facts...i am a nurse...i do it all the time. i won't post on a thread if i am hormonal and think i may say something rude or mean. when i am cranky about a post on any foum i just complain to DH about it....he listens and everything is fine....and no one has to listen to mw complain...LOL :)

love, and hugs....kimmie

[JoAnnaRF]

In my opinion, ANY issue or concern a woman has should be welcome here. And I would have LOVED to have this forum back when I was TTC and pregnant. If I see a heading about an issue that I am not educated about and don't feel I can be of any help whatsoever then I just move on.
The abortion issue is a VERY touchy subject and it always seems to me that the Pro-Choice side wnats us Pro-Lifers to just sit down and shut up. If we don't have anything nice to say about killing a baby then don't say anything at all. We are called hypocrits and busy bodies that aren't willing to step up to the plate. I have seen Pro-Lifers misquoted more times than not. Ex:Saying that one condoned the murder of the doctors aborting the babies as well as the mom requesting the abortion when all she said was that they should be held accountable. She NEVER said they should be killed, just that if murdering a baby is legal then why not set ALL murderers free. It was fecicious. She was making a very simple point. And she got slammed. Those of us standing up for the unborn and trying to educate those considering abortion take so much abuse from those trying to protect the right to kill. We are steadfast in our desire to try to save just one life. I don't care if some of you don't like what I have to say, but it is my right. Slam me all you want. I am not mean when the subject comes up, I simply try to educate and hopefully save a human life.
It is humorous to me that I am called a hypocrit for knowing that innocent unborn babies should be allowed to live and rapists and murderers should not, but the ones calling me a hypocrit believe that the murderers and rapists have more of a right to live than the unborn. Who's the hypocrit?
EVERYTIME I see a girl/woman contemplating abortion, I WILL try to sway her decision with scientific facts and my love for that child's right to live. And FYI, I have offered on more than 10 occasions to take in the pregnant girl and help her to deliver and care for her child or place it for adoption. I have also offered to raise 3 children if it meant they could live. All three mom's chose to BE MOM'S. Help is help. And I will give it to whomever wants/needs it from me. I practice what I preach.

I am not sorry if this offended those who offended me. That was not my intention however. Just letting you know that me and my "opinions" are here to stay. Slamming people for having opinions doesn't help anyone. Especially when you are misquoting them. And you know who you are.

Babydust begins at conception. God Bless.