If I can't make it through a gyno exam because I am soo scared...

Hi. I am 31 years old and I have always been terrified of the gyno! I can make it to my appointment and I am ok but then I freak out when the exam is about to begin. In the past, I have made it though an exam (barely). However, it is getting worse, for the past 3 years I haven't been able to make it at all. I just have to leave the office.

This also affects my sex life.I don't think I even have sex, I think it gets close, but doesn't actually happen. The other day my boyfriend and I were trying and I just started crying out of nowhere. I have no idea where all of this anxiety comes from! I've been in therapy for years, but it hasn't done much.

Also, I feel my maternal instincts lately. I am getting older, and I do want to have kids, but is that even possible for me?

All of my long-term relationships have ended due to this anxiety and I feel completely hopeless.

[AnnieBrooke]

I would see a different therapist, and ask to have an anti-anxiety medicine prescribed along *with* the talk therapy.  The two together should help.

[4slenderthread]

Hi there -
I am sorry for your struggles. Of course no one has to tell you how important it is that you make it through your gynecological exam. You mentioned that you have been in therapy because of all of these issues. If you are still having this much trouble, you may want to consider seeing a different therapist because it doesn't sound as though your current one is working very well. You also didn't say whether you were on any meds or not. Your behavior sounds like someone that may have been molested at some point, but you said there was no cause for your anxiety. I would seek out another therapist and try and get to the bottom of all this - you deserve it! Take care ...

[RockRose]

Amen on the different therapist.

Your therapy probably should focus on desensitization.  In desensitization therapy,  you will go from things that cause you some anxiety (talking about getting a gyno exam) to things that cause you real anxiety,  which would be sitting in the waiting room,  and then finally becoming desensitized to the actual exam.  Desensitization therapy is straight forward and is fairly quick.

[ali3114]

Thanks! I was on Lexapro, and I noticed a change overall, but when it came to the gyno, and even trying to have sex, the anxiety overruns it.