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i have a couple of friends who were on the patchAllergy testing Skin color - patchy and they hated it!they had the same problems your having, and were both in their mid 20's. they stopped taking them and havnt had the problems since. also not to scare you or anything just a couple of days ago on the msn home page there was a big story about the birth control patch being linked to deaths. i will try and find it and post back if i do.
i love the patch, but it does have its drawbacks. it sounds to me like your symptoms are just your body's normal adjustment to the drug, but that is a lot of weight to gain--i gained about 10-15 pounds on it, which sucked, but then it tapered off after a few months and i didnt have headaches and such anymore. you might want to look into trying a lower hormone contraceptive. i have heard good things about seasonale and yasmin :)