It will always haunt me, not for the faint of heart

[Tia Lucila]

There is a little girl I am related to.  She was 8 at the time her Mom died.  Until age 11 she slept alone with her father.  I told him many times to get her out of his bed.  From age 9 to age 11 I thought they slept separately then I found out they were sleeping together the whole time.  Her older sister told me and she demanded that they separate.  Each time I saw the little girl she stunk terribly like sexual ***.  I took her to the pediatrician.  The pediatrician asked me to leave the room and asked the little girl about the sleeping situation.  The little girl said I had lied about the whole thing.  The pediatrician told her not to let anybody but a nurse or doctor see her naked.  She said nothing.  I called CPS and they said I was worrying about nothing.  I told many relatives.  I told the pastor of the church.  None of them wanted to talk about it.  The little girl's grandmother gave her some soap and a loofa.  Before the little girl's mom died her father and mother had relations while she was in the bed. Now I live in another state.  The little girl is now 15 and will have a $10,000 birthday party in September.  I know that I did everything I could.  But that smell on that little girl will always haunt me.  What else could that smell have been?

[PammySue]

What is your question?  What else the smell could have been?  I'm not sure this forum is to help determine what smell that could have been.  Sorry.

[Harley-girl]

I am not too sure if this is where this should of been posted. It is a disturbing thought to have occured but you did all you could. I am not going to make guesses as to a smell just to ease your mind. There is no way of knowing what it was.

[Tia Lucila]

It seems that this may not have been the place to post this, but I thought it would be OK since one of the possible Topic Areas was "Sexual Violence."  I also thought that I could possibly get another suggestion about how to deal with this since I feel really angry and frustrated that not even her church or family wanted to talk about.  Also, how as a female can I just live with this?  Perhaps there is no appropriate forum where this can be brought up.  I guess I did want my mind to be eased.  My question was whether or not there were other types of vaginal discharge that could mimic that smell.  I would retract this post, but don't know how.

[have 2 kids]

you did everything you could, taking her to the Dr, approaching church,family and friends and cps.  And the little girl stated nothing had happened. Maybe the child had bad hygeine.  I wouldn't keep torturing yourself about this.

[jackiemoo]

I am confused too. Maybe it was just her fathers bed that made her stink. You did all you could. I hope all is well. What is the 10G b-day party about??

[mslkpage]

You did everything that you could. If an incest victim won't admit to the abuse, and if a 3rd party didn't witness it, it can be very hard to prove a case. Often times, there is no physical evidence of the abuse. Don't blame yourself. If you can't shake your feelings of guilt, then you may need to seek out some counseling for yourself.

Is she still living with her father?

[capsbaby1017]

most 10g, 15th b-day parties are quince's...just like 10g 16 parties are sweets lol

i dont know i can(around my own home)pick up the smell of "sex"...wether its right after me and my fiance do it, or my roomie brings some hooker(lol, not prostitute)home...maybe it is b/c the girl has blocked all this from memory? or dad may have convinced her that it was ok?...or maybe nothing really happened...

[just_plain_fae]

Don't worry about whether you posted the topic in the right place or not!  I think that you really did all that you could do in the situation.  To help ease your mind, you might look into finding out more information about identifying signs of child abuse and neglect.  There's a wealth of info online - but obviously, its not going to be pleasant.  

There is also a national hotline for reporting suspected child abuse and neglect.  When you call the hotline, you give them the details you know and they will decide if its worth a follow up or not.  If not, write down the person's ID number (they won't give you their name) and write down the date that you called.  If so, they will respond VERY promptly to investigate.  You do not have to give your name unless you are a teacher or doctor (whats called a mandated reporter).

However, since this particular incident was so long ago, it's too late to hotline it now.  But should something unfortunate happen in the future, you will know what to do.  I know that this will always haunt you, but if you start to feel guilty, it might help to remember that you have now educated yourself on signs of child abuse and neglect and how to report them and that the experience has made you more aware.  Best of luck to you :)

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, I hope for the girl's sake you are wrong, but you should always stay open to the possibility that something was going on of that nature, and be ready to support her if she ever comes out with it.  Good luck, dear, and try not to stress over it, you still might be able to help, if she does reveal such a thing later.

[mejoje]

I am not saying that you jumped to conclusions (because I would have done the same thing) but I am looking at the situation from the other side..kinda. My best frend when I was younger always had a odd smell to her and later in life I realized that it was a female *** smell, well her mother is a WELL KNOWN OB/GEN..I'm talking she has famous atheletes and atheletes' wives as patients and very wealthy people also and her daughter had a smell?? I asume that poeple just have their own smell and maybe that is what is with this little girl, she just has either a very strong odor or just having a father she doesn't wipe corectly (and maybe has an infection) or just doesn't wash properly. The other prblem is sleeping with the dad, my nephew is 9 and sleeps either with his mother or father every night. My sister started working nights when he was 8 months old and his father found it easier to tend to the baby if he was right there in the room with him, a few months later he started working nights also and my sister felt more comforrtable having the baby with her then him in his own room. They do have other situations going on, my BIL has a son that lives with them and when he started through puberty started to go psycho and they only let my young nephew in his own room a few weeks becuase they were afrid that his brother may do something. Now I believe that they all just like having someone else in the room. The 17 1/2 year old will also sleep in the room at times if they are watching a movie or in this hot weather (for the a/c).
Every situation has 2 sides and sometimes our imaginatons run away with us (I know that mine does all the time) but just know that you have done all the you could do for that little girl. Just please stay in contact with her so if there is something going on she will have a life line to help her get out when she is ready.