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Labido Question for the Gals

Is it ok to refer to you as Gals?.....Anyway here's my question with a little preface.

I know that the results I get here will be a bit skewed because of the nature of the forum but I'm really interested in your responses.  I'm also going to post this in the men
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Avatar universal
From all that I've read there are too many factors to say that it get's "kicked up" - so I'm 44 and I was telling my fiance, who is 10 yrs my junior, and sometimes says he can't keep up with me...  I think he's joking, cause I believe our drive is about the same.

I can say for me I noticed an increase in drive around 40 and I don't remember it being this crazy. I mean my desire (even before I met my fiance) was large and then when I met and fell in love with him, it's like a million times higher; just looking at him or hearing his voice on the phone makes me wanna jump him.

All that to say, I believe science wise, it's probable that women in their 40s are running out of eggs.. and their body is telling them that they need to procreate. So that's not the most fun for a man to hear, but we're going to have fun trying to get pregnant as soon after we marry, even though he already has a child from a previous marriage, we both want children together.  My worry or maybe it's not since guys peak earlier (most in their 20s) since my guy is 34 - and has a high sex drive and we are about (i think) the same for desire then we're good to age our lives together.

We're already talking about what happens when my hormones change and I don't want it as much and reading the info on couples in their 80s who can still get it on - :) enjoy! But don't watch the calendars guys - every woman's body and hormones are different. Alot of it is psychological, when I'm feeling bloated or less than sexy, and my man thinks I'm hot, when i'm not feeling it, it's hard for me to get in the mood, but we have an understanding and that's working well.
Good luck to all!
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Avatar universal
Does she have any toys???  If not, go shopping together and get some!  They can really add some spice to your sex life.  You should see some of the stuff that I get for my fiance's stocking at Christmas time.  FUN!!!!
PS - yes, you probably should be collecting some fees if All Alone ends up hooking up with someone out here!!  :-)
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Avatar universal
You guys crack me up....I open with a survey and it ends up turning into an escort service.  I think I should be getting a pimp fee or something.

But seriously,  It makes alot of sense regarding stress and self image.  I was thinking more along the lines of hormonal changes that might effect a womens sex drive when she hits a certain age.

I'm not saying that my wife has no interest in sex....we mess up the sheets fairly frequently. But if there's truth to it, I'm certainly going to look forward to the day when she can't get enough (ok...I'm can dream can't I)


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You're all cracking me up here!!  It's true, us gals (or beeeeotches) love to be pampered, and that will definitely help the mood.  It seems that most of the posters are younger than the "ripe 'ol age of 40", so now you're going to hear from one who is right on the brink (I'll be 40 in November).  I've always had a pretty high drive, but I've noticed since about 35, it's really kicked up a notch or two (or ten).  Which is why I'm not dreading 40!!! :-)  I think it has to do with a lot of factors though:
1.  You have to be comfortable enough with your own body and know how it works.  I think this comes with age and experience.  I'm always saddened to hear of these women who are married for years with kids that have never had the big O.  What's up with that????  Experiment with yourself!!  Heck, if you can't give yourself one, how do you expect your man to know how?
2.  A lot of people under 40 are busy raising their families, which can put a damper on the sex drive.  You're busy trying to work, keep up the housework, run kids here and there - and frankly, you're just too pooped!  By the time you hit your 40's, the kids are typically old enough to look out for themselves and/or may be getting lives of their own.  More time for mom and dad to play!
3.  Some people just naturally have a strong drive.  It's a GOOD thing!
I hope things work out for you and your wife.  I'm sure if you try some of the suggestions from the other posts, it'll definitely improve things.
Oh......All Alone???  You 'da man!!!!  You shouldn't have any troubles finding someone who will appreciate you!!
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127596 tn?1210922622
Mauled by a bunch of women? Is that a bad thing?

Actually, renting myself out is now the only way I'll date. It's a last-ditch effort to figure out exactly what I'm doing wrong (my girlfriend and I just broke up this week). Do you think I should charge by the hour or by the night? Is charging by the night too presumptuous?
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127596 tn?1210922622
"With my luck the day she hits her peak is the day after I loose mine."

Is there a big difference in age between you and your wife? I read your thread on the "other side" and was sneaking around here when I found it (again). Men typically peak earlier (a LOT earlier) than women, so you might be right, she could peak and you could wane at the same time.

Sailor's Wife is right; she may just need to feel more wanted and sexier. Maybe surprise her one day when she gets home from work and have all the daily chores already done. Maybe even have dinner cooked. Some dim candles and a beautiful bouquet of flowers are sure to put a smile on her face. Make sure dessert is something chocolate (my favorite natural aphrodisiac of choice).

Tell her she's beautiful; tell her she's sexy. But don't make it seem deliberate or cheesy. Look directly at her when she speaks (and actually listen to what she's saying). Don't rush anything and don't try to force anything to a schedule. Have a nice, relaxing evening and let it take its course. You never know what might happen.

If you know all this and have tried all of it, my apologies, I was just trying to throw out some suggestions.
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127596 tn?1210922622
Great comments, 2Sweet, I think you're spot-on. A woman being comfortable with her body plays a big role in a lot of things. That's why I think it's important to always tell a woman that she's beautiful and sexy. Sex is always so much more fun with a woman who's comfortable with her body and knows what she wants and, when necessary, how to make it happen herself.

My (now ex-)girlfriend did appreciate me; that, unfortunately, wasn't the problem. We had no choice but to agree to stop seeing each other (too many factors involved to get away with a short thread hijack). But, out of all the women I've ever dated - of all the relationships I've ever been in - this was one of the shortest (just over two months), and after the first week, I felt like she was "the one". I'd never before felt that in my entire life. She's an incredible woman and will make someone very happy some day. I just lament knowing it won't be me. Is there a broken heart forum around here somewhere?

Hey, are you single? Wanna rent an appreciable man?  : )
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Avatar universal
Oooohhh....you have me ever so curious now!!!  I can't imagine what could tear you two apart, as it sounds like you both appreciated the other.  I know, you can't be hi-jacking threads here!!!  I'm so sorry about your broken heart, though.  There IS a Sexuality & Relationships area though!!  Go there and spill!!  :-)

No, I'm not single - but if I were, I'd rent you in a heartbeat!  You sound like a sweetheart.  There are lots of single women out there looking for someone just like you.  Be patient and it'll happen.
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Avatar universal
Oh I've already come to the conclusion that her drive is different than mine.....I'm just looking to the horizon.

Besides, wining and dining is all fine and dandy....I'm just wondering if it's a wives tale or if theres truth to the myth.

With my luck the day she hits her peak is the day after I loose mine.
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
My mom reports that this is true.  I think libido has a lot to do with the psychology of the situation.  Were I to have a hubby who was sitting with a calendar and a stopwatch and a generally impatient look on his face, it might turn me off enough (by the implication that I was inadequate now) that my post-40 libido kick would go away.  Not that this is what you are doing.  :)
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Avatar universal
Certainly you can call us Gals.  We prefer Da Beeoches, but Gals will do!

There are so many complex issues involved in libido that it's hard to make generalizations as to age.  I'll leave it for the experts (the elderly women on this site) as I'm not old at all.
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