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My boyfriend wants a baby...
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My boyfriend wants a baby...

okay... this isn't really a question... i just want to know how other people would feel about the situation...

my man and I have been together for a year and a half now... i'm 19 he's 21... and he wants a baby... i had just graduated this past year from highschool... i told him to just wait... but then he one night we had unprotected sex ( nothing new... we trust eachother).... and every time we do have sex he asks if he can go in me... and i tell him no... but... lastnight... he went in me... twice... and didn't say one word when he did... i just finished my period though... so i haven't ovulated yet... and i'm on the pill... but still... he really wants a baby... i've never met a guy so young who wants a baby soon... what do i do?
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164559_tn?1233711618
Stay on the pill. Do not have a baby until YOU feel ready for it.  I know many young girls who were in your very situation and now they are raising kids on their own and the BF has moved on...
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Avatar_n_tn
I would have to agree. If you are not ready wait. There is no problem waiting. If he really likes you or loves you he will respect your wishes and wait. Just think if things went wrong and you had kids he left, you would have to be raising them single. It is not fair to you. I would suggest saying if you want wait for another year or to and see how that goes.
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Avatar_f_tn
19 isn't exactly the best age to be having a child.  Plus, why on earth is your boyfriend wanting to comit to something so serious as a baby when he hasn't commited to you with marriage??????????
Here is a sure fire way of you knowing if you should have a child.  Can you support this child on your own without the help of your parents, boyfriend, government or anyone else?  You are taking the chance of having to do so if you do this.  A little fact about guys is some of them don't stick around.  You have to be able to know 100% that you can take care of this child on your own.  
I know you are going to tell me but he will stay with me forever because we love eachother.  That is not always the case and you have to think about this.  You tell your boyfriend that you are still just a teen and you have no business having a child right now.  You want to be able to live a little and experience life.  
Another idea to consider some guys want their girlfriend pregnant because then they won't loose them.  It could be a secruity thing with him.  If he wants a baby tell him to start baby sitting his friends kids or families kids.  You obivously don't think this is right because you wrote about it on here for advice.  Have you also stopped to think what costs are involved.
I am 29 and married for 6 years.  We have two little girls.  Let me tell you something, I didn't get my college degree before having children, and I stay at home with them because I can't afford to put them in daycare full-time as it would take most of my check to do so.  My husband works a good job, and makes good money but we still struggle to make ends meet.  
Since I am a stay at home mom, I don't have a lot of interaction with other adults, and I have a lot of stress.  I suggest to you that you tell your boyfriend to slow down and let you grow up.
Do you live at home with your parents still?  Does your boyfriend live at home with his parents?
Single mothers don't have it very easy, and often have to struggle.  I think that single mothers are some of the strongest people on the earth, but I also know that it is hard on them.
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Avatar_f_tn
I would like to add one more thing to what i said.  If you can't stand up and tell him no since you obivously know you aren't ready, that in itself should tell you not to do it.  I'm not trying to be mean, but I know how guys have a way of getting females to do things.
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Avatar_n_tn
I would RUN. LOL
I'd be asking questions if he wants a baby so bad at 19 AND you are not married yet.
One step at a time hey. Plus a baby deserves a happy life with both parents in it - not saying it wouldn't work for you, but be SURE before having a baby. Its' not like buying a pet....actually there's an idea - how about you get a pet together first and look after that as your 'baby' together ?!?
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi Tina,
The fact that your boyfriend ejaculates inside of you after you've told him not to in the past...and then he does it twice without discussing it with you first...seems like a "red flag" to me.
It is really up to you if you want to have a baby with him, but what are your plans for the future? College? A career? Those things are much harder to start later in life. Like Laura said above...can you (alone) support this child financially without anyone's help? Including your boyfrined, family or the government? It is a big decision and I would only hope that you don't get pressured.

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Avatar_f_tn
well you wanted to know what other females thought of your situation................i think everyone agrees.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 17 and im kind of in the same situation as you, only i would like to have a kid. I graduate in 2008 and my boyfriend is 20 years old. Me and him have been together for almost 2 and half years. I'm very scared because I have a lung disease called cystic fibrosis, which i'll have for the rest of my life and there is a small chance that my child will be born with it to and i was told by my doctor that when i do get pregnant that my illness will get worse and that i will have trouble after i have the kid. Me and my boyfriend know that we are gonna get married after i graduate. Im confused about what i should do to, but in your case i agree with everyone else. I've already had three of my friends come up pregnant either the dad has bailed on them or he treats them like dirt. But you shouldn't let him pressure you into having a kid right now.
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Avatar_f_tn
I hope that you aren't planning on having children at 17.  I understand that your boyfriend is 20, and let me tell you that is still young.  Children are great........I have two little girls, but they also require a lot of money and time and self sacrifice.  You need to live your life and enjoy being young.  Don't put such a pressure on yourself at this age.  Wait till you get a little older and experience life before you add another life to the picture.  
To answer your question about the lung disease, that is something that you have to figure out yourself.  No one can really make that choice but you.  Make sure you do some homework and find out the problems that can arise.
I hope that you take to heart this, because my husband and I got married when we were 23 years old.  3 months after getting married my birth control pills failed because doc didn't tell me predizone messed up pill.  It is very very hard raising children, and never let anyone make you think it isn't.  I love my two girls to death but it is difficult raising kids.  It also isn't cheap at all.
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