No sexual desire. I'm still young.

[cmf]

I am a 36 year old healthy female married to a man for 17 years and have 5 kids.  (only 3 are still at home). I have no desire to have sex with my husband.  He is lucky to get it once a month.   My question is what can I do?  I want to have sex but am never in the mood for it.  The doctors have ran all their lab testing to check my hormone levels and every other imagineable level.  Everything comes out perfect.  I've had a hysterectomy 3 years ago but still have my ovaries....that being said the dr. has ruled out that as a cause of lack of sex strive.  I'm not depressed or stressed out any more than other normal americans dealing with the world.    Any suggestions?  Have they made a womens Viagra yet:}

[babyprayers]

OMG I FEEL THE same way sometimes. I dont have any desire at all. I guess I will ask you these questions. how old are your 3 children at home? do you still feel attracted to your husband. are you on the go 24/7 some of these are my issues, I love my DH with my whole heart. I am just so flippen busy I feel like sex is the last thing on my mind. I am learning to make more time for me, and more time for him, this makes it hard because we want another baby badly, just having a hell of a time getting there, all the daily demands of life, work mother hood and everything else,make me one tired lady at the end of the day.

[torque]

Well, I dont have any kids, but I can definitely see how that might interfere with you feeling any desire. I think you two need to spend a night to yourselves, just the two of you, to fall back into love!! Go out to dinner, get a sitter overnight, maybe make a nice romantic picnic if money isnt there for dinner. Dress up nice, shave your legs (how many of us dont really bother!!). Make yourself feel good. If you feel good and desirable, then everything should come together. You guys have to make time for one another. If you have to say Sunday night- at 8pm you might start something. It sucks having to plan it, but you both need to be on the same page.

My husband and I have been together for 10yrs now. We went through a funk as well. We just started making time for one another. We had an open discussion (which was so hard), of signs that we may give one another to let them know that we were in the mood. Things that might usually be overlooked. So, now we can read each other a bit better. Have you tried talking to your husband about it? It was the hardest thing I have ever done!! But it definitely paid off!! Best of luck to you!!!!

[SDteacher]

Light some candles and just think about what gets you in the mood.  Perhaps you have forgotten.  Sometimes it takes fantasizing.... then when you feel sexier and in the mood, do something about it!

Play Enigma while taking a shower.  Her music always helps to relax and feel sexy.

Seduce your husband/ boyfriend.  I highly recommend the fantasizing on your own first.  If you need to visually stimulate yourself first, that is normal!  Do what it takes.  When you feel comfortable enough, stimulate yourself visually together ie. watch a movie (doesn't have to be a porno~ any movie with a steamy hot scene to get you going) .....

You will be a happier person for it.  Oprah just did a show on this as well. It was about Sutra techniques and how to feel sexy again.   Try her website!   I think it is important to feel sexy on your own before you can feel in the mood to be sexy with someone else.

Best of luck to you....

[coldnumber]

i have been married for 6 years. i have two children. i have sex once month if that. i have no desire for i feel like it a choice or duty. his face is perfect his body changed. i have told him about it for 3 years now his responds is im working on it. honestly, it looks like he is getting bigger. i can't help to notice my next door neighboor. young like me looks like a model so what to do.