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Orgasm thru intercourse
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Orgasm thru intercourse

all i haer is how great sex is and how much they are looking forward to doing it again, when i have sex it feels good, i enjoy it, but i am almost positive that i dont climax. during intercourse i am pretty sure i have never had an orgasm, but everytime i recieve oral sex and thru mutual masturbation i have an orgasm....am i not going long enough, or am i just not ready for full on intercourse? because i was wondering what i could do to help that along, but still have sex just the same as alwaya......no changes made there.....
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Avatar_f_tn
apparently i have heard that only 30% of women actually orgasm during sex. Most times I dont but when i start thinking about really naughty things while having sex I orgasm and its the best feeling ever! try doing something that you know wil make u and ur man really horny. Just try it, you never know it could work for you! me and my man always make loads of noise, it really does turn you on.
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Avatar_n_tn
well, welcome to the club! MOST woman do not experience an orgasm during intercourse alone. we need help if you will to stimulate the clitoris. your nickname insinuates you are young so i am hesitant to be descriptive and encourage this.
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Avatar_n_tn
oh im not thta young, feel free to say w/e u feel like.i am young but not quite that young, but thanks for the consideration
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Avatar_n_tn
I am not sure of your age, but just remember that it takes time and maturity. Breath, go slow, make it romantic, focus, but not too hard, and always remeber that it won't always happen. In fact, maybe 1 outta 3 at best!
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Avatar_n_tn
I think sometimes it takes practice to work out what makes u orgasm. I never really used to but once I found what worked for me (only recently I found a new way!) sometimes it happens too quick and I cant control it! Maybe try the idea above and relax!
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm not sure if I really want to say exactly how old I am, I dont want everyone to think they have to censor themslelves or anything like that, because when I talk about an adult issue, I like being spoken to as a young adult not a kid......ya know...i dont want anybody like oooooh, cant say orgasm, oops i said vagina, lol, ya know, i prefer to be spoken to as i speak to ppl.....
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Avatar_n_tn
Wow, this is crazy, I thought I'd be waiting on responses for days.I was wrong.thanks everybody I'll take everything into perspective....and the exploring thing....oh yeah, can do! heh, thanks guys! <3
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Avatar_n_tn
Ive been sexually active since i was 16... i am 21 now and i have never had an orgasm thru intercourse... always have to do it myself. i gave up long time ago trying to have one, but my boyfriend doesnt know i fake it!!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
soooo you still didnt say how old you are!
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey sweetie, it takes time along with someone (a partner) willing to figure your complicated body out. It is possible indeed, but it may require a little work and unfortunately some women aren't that fortunate to have an orgasim thru intercourse. He!! I say get it, which ever way you can get it. Does it really matter which way it comes? No pun intended! If it's a major concern then talk to your partner and maybe you guys can set aside some time to go exploring! Good Luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
i have just recently started having the best orgasms and im in my late 30s . i just learnt that i can have a squriting orgasm, has anyone else discovered this later in life.
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Avatar_f_tn
Just remember you must be 18 years of age to post on this forum, and if you're not... well, then we have that freedom and discernment to censor what we say.
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79258_tn?1190634010
About 70% of women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, which intercourse doesn't provide. So, either you or your partner need to use your hands or a vibe on your clitoris during intercourse, if coming then is important to you. You can also certainly orgasm before, after or during intercourse (taking breaks for oral, manual, whatever). However, I'd just encourage you to remember that intercourse is only one of MANY sexual activities, and not the "ultimate" activity our sex-phobic society makes it out to be. So in my book, it really doesn't matter whether you come during intercourse or not :-)

I'll also add that orgasm is a lot like happiness, when you think about it. The more you strive for happiness, the less likely you are to find it. Chasing it only drives it away. Only when you are totally in the moment and fully involved in an activity, not even thinking about whether you're happy (or in this case, orgasmic), can it finally overtake YOU ;-)
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Avatar_n_tn
Go On Girl ! Im 35 and still trying!
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Avatar_n_tn
.. i have been with may partner for nearly two years now and i cannot orasm through sex! its fustrating because i can orgasm through clitoral stimulation and i dont really understand why i cant through sex! i would really like to enjoy it with my partner as he orgasms everytime but i think it would help our relationship to enjoy it together! its not just that i dont orgasm either it actually doesnt feel pleasurable at all! should i seek help with this or is it a normall issue some women have! thanks x
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Avatar_n_tn
This isent a comment but..I NEED HELP!..Ive just recently started having sex and i just need to know how to orgasm thru intercourse!..i dont like the whole going down on a girl thing so I NEED HELP!! PLEASE!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Wow, I'm suprised that no one can orgasm through sex.  Not even from being on top?  I orgasm every time, sometimes 2-3 times while on top.
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143113_tn?1366615307
well this is turning into a well-worn topic.  indeed it is worth mentioning that half or most women can't orgasm only thru intercourse, and those who do often only while on top (something to do with blood flow to the clitoris?)  on the other hand i have been acquainted with women who right off the bat were multiorgasmic via intercourse, even as teens!  or how about women who can come at the same time as their boyfriends from the same act?  or who can come just by grinding up against the object of their desire, fully clothed!  lucky them, huh?  but really, who cares how you get there.  if you want to feel great about sex, find out what works to give you optimal pleasure, adn a partner who's caring and attentive enough to help you get there.  if you need encouragement, read betty dodson.  she has the most realistic and encouraging outlook on female sexuality i've seen.  personally i don't come from intercourse alone either but i love the orgasms i have when my partner stimulates me during intercourse.  i don't know if i will ever come without the extra stimulation but it's very satisfying nonetheless.  also, i hate to slam them but if you're real worried about how to have orgasms, or how to make yours better or easier, vibrators are more of a detour than an aid.  i think it just gets you used to a level of sensation no human being could ever duplicate.
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Avatar_n_tn
im 22 years old but only just recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend. although i can achieve amazing orgasms through oral and manual stimulation, ive never been able to through intercoure alone (and we've tried every position in the book). since hes my one and only i wonder if its me or him. and if theres anything i could be doing to help myself out...
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Avatar_n_tn
one thing i've figured out that works for me, is reaching down and stimulating your clitoris yourself. it feels amazing, and your guy will think its hot ;)
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Avatar_n_tn
Look - I am older than you and didn't realixe that - this was an orgasim.  Are you sure - only happened twice but I thought it was something more disgusting.  
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Avatar_n_tn
Well I am that 30% of women that climax. That is because you should climb on top have him put his legs together and raise up his pelvic area. Its GREAT. I just had my first orgasm after 4 years of sex this past feb. that is because i never took control and always expected him to do it for me. Now oral sex i dont' climax but if you do that and grind on his penis when he puts his legs together and pelvic area up you'll do it promise. let me know!!! lol much love
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Avatar_n_tn
Well I feel ya on that one. I lost my virginity at 18 and no guy could make me ***. Only I knew how. I met my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago and he couldn't either. I would lie to him when he'd ask me if I came cuz I felt bad. Then only about 2 months ago I confessed my lies. He felt bad mostly for me cuz I couldn't ***. You won't believe how hard he tried and how much longer he lasted after I told him that. My first orgasm came June 22nd. I think woman on top is a good position. Don't go up and down, rock yourself forward and backward so your clitoris rubs against his lower stomach/abdomen. I figured this out thru reading cosmopolitan. You have to focus and concentrate on what's going on. Turn the tv radio off so your thoughts aren't interrupted. Take somewhat deep breaths and exhale fast thru ur nose. Stay focused and have your man grab your hips and caress your breast I like when my man does this. And lo and behold you will achieve an orgasm. It took me a long while before I got mine and now I *** even faster. It is such a great feeling. I love having sex....I think I want it more than my man. I'm always pouncing on him. Lol!!! GOOD LUCK AND KEEP US UPDATED ON NEW TRICKS OR WHAT WORKED FOR YOU!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Here's a comment I posted in response to another forum user: "A great way to achieve orgasm during intercourse is first get your bf to bring you to orgasm first, either through oral sex or manual stimulation, then immediately have him penetrate you - him on top, so there is good clitoral contact." and continue the orgasm. A cheat's way? Who cares, it still gives the desired effect.
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Avatar_n_tn
Well I feel ya on that one. I lost my virginity at 18 and no guy could make me ***. Only I knew how. I met my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago and he couldn't either. I would lie to him when he'd ask me if I came cuz I felt bad. Then only about 2 months ago I confessed my lies. He felt bad mostly for me cuz I couldn't ***. You won't believe how hard he tried and how much longer he lasted after I told him that. My first orgasm came June 22nd. I think woman on top is a good position. Don't go up and down, rock yourself forward and backward so your clitoris rubs against his lower stomach/abdomen. I figured this out thru reading cosmopolitan. You have to focus and concentrate on what's going on. Turn the tv radio off so your thoughts aren't interrupted. Take somewhat deep breaths and exhale fast thru ur nose. Stay focused and have your man grab your hips and caress your breast I like when my man does this. And lo and behold you will achieve an orgasm. It took me a long while before I got mine and now I *** even faster. It is such a great feeling. I love having sex....I think I want it more than my man. I'm always pouncing on him. Lol!!! GOOD LUCK AND KEEP US UPDATED ON NEW TRICKS OR WHAT WORKED FOR YOU!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I didn't have my first orgasm after 23 yrs of marriage...I'm divorce now.

I met a younger men...I don't think this has nothing to do with it.
I'm on top...somehow my heals are under his thighs, he raises his
pelvic up to meet my spot and I go forward and backwards as fast
as I can while he raises his pelvic up & down to meet me with every
thrust. I feel it coming when I begin to feel chills from my toes to
my neck and my head just goes insanely crazy.

Good Luck...
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Avatar_n_tn
I have the same problem. I can't orgasm while having sex either. And when I masturbate, I have to get in a stance where I tense up my legs and feet just to climax, and it isn't even all that great. Sometimes I get leg cramps and yeah....is that normal?
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Avatar_n_tn
^As in me having to tense up my legs..^
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Avatar_f_tn
It's not abnormal, you probably get cramps from tensing too long. Everyone's different, so different techniques work for different women. Keep experimenting. Have you ever tried not to focus on orgasm, just going along for the ride and enjoying the moment (but making sure your bf is hitting the spot along the way of course) without stressing on - 'I'm taking too long", "this is never going to happen
' etc? Try it. Use your leg tensing method on and off during it if it helps bring you closer but try and just go with it. Your orgasm will be more intense if you're not stressing over it.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm the same way .. I can't orgasm during sex .. I come close but it hasn't happened yet. I think I concentrate too much. During fore play, I have to tense my legs, and arch my feet in order to finish. It's stressful. Are there any good books, with different positions, to help reach climax?
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Avatar_f_tn
my advice would be to get on top...  i cannot climax MOST OF THE TIME if my hubs is on top or behind or whatever...  so we usually fool around, he gets on top and we do whatever, then i get on top..  if you get on top sit up almost, place your hands on his shoulders/chest and lean forward so when you're moving you have clitoris stimulation.. it works everytime for me!  try different things, different places...  or before you get on top, have him rub you (like if you were masterbating (masturbating)) to where it almost gets you off, then get on top and do what i told you. have him hold your hips down.. i hope this works for you!
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968066_tn?1247596195
Im not alone it seems. Its so good to hear that i'm not the only woman who cannot orgasm during sex. And in fact, the only time i have orgasmed with my husband was when he went down on me. And that only happened once, we can't figure out how to duplicate that night, but it was amazing. I just really wish that i could orgasm with him, I feel like that would bring us so much closer. lately the only way i orgasm is when i masturbate and the only way i get off is using my handy vibrator. Anyone have any tips on how to get that same feeling like a woman does with her vibrator, with her man?  
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Avatar_n_tn
I have been having sex for years and have never had an orgasm during intercourse. I have also tried stimulating the clitoris while having sex and that doesnt work for me either. The only way I can achieve orgasm is if I do it myself or through oral... I talked to my OBGYN about it and he said that 10 percent of women cant achieve orgasm through intercourse at all, some can't achieve it without clitoral stimulation, and for some it's all in there head. For instance if you grew up hearing that sex was bad before you got married and you in fact had sex before that point some women have a fear in the back of their head that what they are doing is wrong and there for can not achieve orgasm. Unfortunately for me I am in the 10 percent of women like many i have found that can't achieve orgasms during intercourse. I wish you the best of luck in doing so because I hear its a wonderful thing.. lol...
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Avatar_n_tn
I've come close to orgasm before, but my boyfriend can't go long enough, one time i was on the brink but because we've tried so much, we've given up on orgasm during intercourse, and becasue i didn't want to lose my concentration i didn't tell him, anyway he came before i could and that's the closest it's been since. After that there's been times when it's possible (always whn i'm on top, or on a rare occasion when my legs are over his shoulders while he's on top of me) but he can't go for long enough, what can i do to mak him go for longer?
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Avatar_n_tn
Sex seems like a lot of work for such a little reward. I've never had an orgasm through sex, manual stimulation, or oral sex and the only reason I continue to engage in any of these is because I know it makes my boyfriend of 2 years feel loved and happy.
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Avatar_f_tn
thanks for the advice buuut..i cant have an orgasm to save my life!! i love all the affection an touchy touchy stuff an ive tried the fiesty stuff.EVERYTHING. but nothing works an i jus get frustrated..helllpp
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1203916_tn?1309023843
I am able to climax through intercourse, in certain positions...Not everything does it for me, but I have a wonderful partner who is paitent and willing to help me get there. In all honesty, climax through clitoral stim is way intense and I can only handle it once! Where as when I climax through intercourse its a bit milder and I can have more than one and not feel like Im gonna pass out lol.

I digress... Paitence, understanding, and expiermentation are my suggestions.
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Avatar_n_tn
I havent had an orgasm through intercourse yet either. I've been sexually active for almost 2 years with the same person, but no dice. I cant tell him that im not orgasming because he has some insecurities in that area, not that he should cause he is amazing in every other area. Every now and again, I wont fake it and he gets fustrated and will say that Im bored with him. He's such a boob, but I love him, I want to make him happy and confident in bed. I have amazing orgasms when he gives me oral (multiple positions), uses his fingers or rubs me, but not with his penis. I still have hope that with the various ideas listed above, I'l be able to orgasm through intercourse. I hope to succeed because I hate lying to him.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have only been having sex for 8 months. I lost my virginity to a guy who had a fairly large penis and we would sometimes have sex for 3 hours at a time but I never had an orgasm. He would always give me one by fingering me or orally and he was always frustrated that he couldnt make me go through intercourse. I am now with someone a bit smaller but same issues. Fingers and mouth do the trick but when it comes to sex i get so tired I just want him to hurry up and come. We're very open with each other and I feel like I'm in that 10% or possibly I have a mental block about it because I tried so hard to not have sex before marriage and got drunk one nnight and killed that dream. It's usually better when I'm on top, or when he's on top and my legs are over his shoulders... any ideas for me?
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Avatar_f_tn
wow.. thought i was the only one lol.. ive been with my bf for over a year and never got there from just sex only oral.. i do enjoy it but i never can get there and i feel bad cause he knowss im never close and i think it hurts his ego. but its not him its me atleast with him i came close.. never beforee him have i even liked it.. i just wish i new what i can do to make it better... thank u for the suggestions listed above..
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1681679_tn?1304968024
well, I am one of the 'lucky' females that can fully orgasm - but I just realized it within the past year.  I lost my virginity at 18, and guy got me to full orgasm by oral stimulation one time, and got so excited - I was mortified!  I thought I really thought I peed on him, but he was so excited that I was a "Squirter".  (he spent the rest of our relationship trying to get me to do that again - never happened, I was glad - I still thought I peed).  

About four years later, I went to a local bar with a co-worker/girlfriend of mine.  We had a wild night - closed the place down, but stuck to our guns about no body coming home with us.  We were so drunk, I barely remembered getting into bed.  I woke up in what I thought was pee - I was so embarrassed...  but then after a few days, my memory started to come back, and she had fingered me to orgasm (back then I still thought I peed, but now I know different).  She always maintained that she has no memory from that night, so I'll leave it at that.

A few months to a year after that I got with a guy that got me there once - He was super excited about it, and explained it to me a little bit - I STILL thought it had to be pee.  He never was able to have me do it again.  I've never been able to do it myself, and I have never had a dildo, by the way

The guy I'm with now has been bringing me to full orgasm every time for about two years now.  He's got me figured out, and I finally did some research about it and asked my mom, so I know I'm not peeing!!  If I had known that all along, I think life would have been a little easier, and a lot less awkward.  What he does is amazing, he has made me *** with his hands, mouth and by penetration, sometimes all in the same night!  We change the sheets often, needless to say.  I wish there was a better name for women who squirt incredible amounts of liquid during orgasm.  Squirters? really?  Female Ejaculators? Uh..  please no...  what Is it called?  

PS. My BF pulled up some videos online of other women who can get to this level of orgasm, and it seems that we're all Brunette.  Hmmm...
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Avatar_f_tn
thats **** is crazy cuz till this day i fake it everytime im with my guy! i never reach my orgasm,,, un less i do it myself!!! and what i wanna know will it ever come a day where i have a guy thats knows my body and touches everything with his tongue and his fingers to make me orgams with him or just by him pleasing me,,, when that day comes i think it will be MAGICAL!!!!!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Some of these comments make me sad! If you haven't orgasmed through intercourse, don't sweat it. You're in good company with the majority of all women. There's nothing wrong with you. I repeat: There's nothing wrong with you!

Just relax, have fun, and do whatever feels good for YOUR body. Everyone is different. So approach it from an attitude of experimentation. If you're having intercourse, and you're feeling something special, just go with it. Not for the specific purpose of having an orgasm, but just because it feels good. Don't ever get into your own head with thoughts of  "Oh! Maybe this is the magic position! Oh I hope I come! What if I don't? I wonder how long it will take?" Just relax and enjoy your partner. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. Worrying about it is counterproductive.

As soon as I stopped worrying about when and how and even IF I was going to orgasm, and just started being in the moment and enjoying the intimacy and pleasure of it all, that's when I started to orgasm more easily. I still need external stimulation, but big deal. That's just more opportunity for playtime. Besides, most guys really like it when you play with yourself during intercourse.

And please educate and reassure your partners. If they feel bad, or think that you don't desire them enough because you need external stimulation to orgasm ... that's just ignorance on their part ... and it's a lot of pressure on you that doesn't help at all. Explain to them that most women are exactly the same way. It's very normal. And don't get in the habit of faking it! This is a mutual act of intimacy, not a performance! Experiment! Communicate with your partner! Enjoy yourselves! Relax and just have fun!
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Avatar_m_tn
all men want their partner to orgaism but when we are young our own orgasim desires dominate. as we get more experienced and comfortable that can change. Bringing a woman to orgasim is not just a physical act. I think there has to be a connection on other levels and I'm not talking about love. Lust works just fine. If you can feel her convulsing on your shaft she orgasimed. Now see how many times she can continue to have them because they come in rapid succession if you can maintain the intensity.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have been having sex since I was 16 and I am now 29 and I have only had an orgasim during sex when I was pregnant with my daughter and 6 weeks after she was born. I don't know if it was the extra hormones that did it or what, but I miss it and I want it back.
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