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Phobias about painful intercourse.
What was a simple fear at the age of 17, has now turned into a full blown phobia at the age of 21. I am VERY afraid of having sex b/c of pain. Thankfully, I have a wonderful guy who was my friend first for a couple years, and is now my bf for a little over a year. He has been very supportive. But I really want to go the next level w/ him. I'm just terrified of the pain. Is there anything I can get that will numb my vagina inside and out? So the first time I don't feel a thing but the experience will open me up.... that way the next time I know that I'm alreay opened up for it?
Please help!
XoXo
Please help!
XoXo
your uterus could be a little lopsided you could trying to prop your bottom up on a pillow during intercorse, it could be possible he is larger than you are made for too. good luck
your uterus could be a little lopsided you could trying to prop your bottom up on a pillow during intercorse, it could be possible he is larger than you are made for too. good luck
ive had this problem too. but i overcame it, once i realised it was just in my head and just went for it realising nothing bad would happen if i just relaxed i overcame it. if it was that severve i suppose maybe the doctor would give you muscle relaxants or somewhere like holland and barrets would have an alternative type of thing. but id just advise loadsssss of lube and i mean loads, i bet anything it wont hurt with it.
there are theses condoms that are made by Trojan, and they are desensitizing...i only mention them, b/c the only time my DF and i used 1, they numbed us both, and after like 5mins w/it on, we were doing the deed, but neither of us were feeling it lol...i mean, dont go trying novacaine, lord no...but i thought i'd share that experience...
also, everyone will tell you that a vagina stretches, and that you SHOULDNT feel the diff between different penis sizes...HOWEVER, i've learned, again through personal exp, that some men are larger than others, and you CAN feel the diff...ie, pain, etc...so, unless you plan on being with just this 1 guy, you may encounter diff "sizes" lol...also, pain can sometimes come for absolutely no reason...i can only suggest(besides trojan lol)to use ALOT of lube, and letting your engine warm up before taking a test drive...lol, i couldnt think of any other way to put it...good luck :)
also, everyone will tell you that a vagina stretches, and that you SHOULDNT feel the diff between different penis sizes...HOWEVER, i've learned, again through personal exp, that some men are larger than others, and you CAN feel the diff...ie, pain, etc...so, unless you plan on being with just this 1 guy, you may encounter diff "sizes" lol...also, pain can sometimes come for absolutely no reason...i can only suggest(besides trojan lol)to use ALOT of lube, and letting your engine warm up before taking a test drive...lol, i couldnt think of any other way to put it...good luck :)
I am totally against using any kind of numbing agent.
Have you tried inserting your fingers? You could try inserting one at a time, until you reach the approximate size of your bf's penis. However, if you can't do this (whether for emotional or physical reasons), you may have vaginismus. That's an involuntary tightening of the muscles in your vagina, a physical response to anxiety. Check out www.womentc.com, and if the symptoms resonate for you, you might pick up the book "Private Pain", by Katz and Tabisel. Treatment usually involves a combination of sex therapy and physical therapy.
Have you tried inserting your fingers? You could try inserting one at a time, until you reach the approximate size of your bf's penis. However, if you can't do this (whether for emotional or physical reasons), you may have vaginismus. That's an involuntary tightening of the muscles in your vagina, a physical response to anxiety. Check out www.womentc.com, and if the symptoms resonate for you, you might pick up the book "Private Pain", by Katz and Tabisel. Treatment usually involves a combination of sex therapy and physical therapy.
my advice would be just to relax, the more uptight you are then the pain will be worse. You might be one of the lucky ones that does not feel pain, hat does happen. When i first had sex i was 17, it hurt only a little bit then was fine. Im now 21 and cant stop having sex, i had a year break from sex after i split up with my boyfriend when i was 17.i was scared about the pain because id not been touched down there for a year, but had no trouble with my next partner entering. Just relax, take it slowly and dont think about the pain x good luck! x
I dont know that there is anything to numb the vagina but if you have a bf that is willing to listen to your concerns and be there for you it shouldn't be painful at all. If you take it slow one step at a time maybe you can open up slowly. In due time you will learn to enjoy sex and have great experiences you just have to have the first one before you can move on. Good luck with trying to open up. Try to relax have some wine or something(drink of choice) to make you relax, or some soft music, hot bath before with candles something romantic to make you get in the mood so that way your more comfortable with the idea. Hope you can make it fun for yourself.
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