Post Abortion Pregnancy

[Jenni6485]

How long do i have to waite until i get pregnant again? Its deeply unfortunate that i cant keep this child, but its under uncontrolable circumstances that will jeopardise my life. I want to have a child with the one i love, not the one i DONT love. So after my abortion this wednesday, we want to start making a new baby. I need some knowledge and advice on how to get the babymaker working again.

[ateague]

I'm sorry, but why does it matter WHO the father is?  I would be more devastated if your bf WAS the father.  I know you can't see yourself with anyone else, but you have to broaden your vision to see the big picture.  You are repeating the cycle if you raise this child in an environment similiar to your own, an abusive husband/bf.  And you would be putting your baby in the same position as you were when you were a child.  Is that what you want?

Is it possible you have been in this relationship so long that you just don't want to be alone?  I've been there.  I was engaged to a horrible man and tried leaving several times, but when I got on my own, I was so lonely I would take anyone, even him, back.  That doesn't make it the best decision.  It's what is best for you and your baby.   I personally don't want you to abort that baby, but I also don't think it's a good idea to raise a child in this situation.  If you're not even safe with this man, what makes you think a baby would be safe to have with him?  What about adoption if you find out the baby is not his?  Not even an option?

[Jenni6485]

these are the dates...
started period july 29th
most fertil aug. 9-15
left james on the 19th
had sex 20-25th
started period 27th
came home on the 28th
started trying to have a baby right away
sept 3rd, still spotting
most fertile 7th-13th
changes in mood 20/22nd
supposed to start period around the 25th-27th, but never did
found out im pregnant on the 1st of oct.

if i got pregnant after the 3rd, im good to go. gives a week leeway incase its wrong. but to be EXTRA sure, its best if i was conceived around the 7th, and after. Ultrasounds arnt EXACTLY accurate.
i think about this every single day i stress myself out on dates and feelings. i wish there was a rock big enough to crawl under, or the floor would swallow me up.

[Jenni6485]

you are so right kimmie. your a wonderful inspiration. I thought about this page all night lastnight, finally at 11:00 i got off the computer because nobody was responding to my page. :-( but its okay.
I was just on priestsforlife websight, i saw images of babies just growing their legs and arms, hands and feet, eyes and growing a body. i couldnt stop crying. Just looking at those little feet flushed the tears out. I love playing with babies feet and making them smile, giving them kisses all over and rasberries on the belly. playing "im gonna getchya!" i think about those things every single day, and what IF this is the only chance i get. Ive been told that i cant have kids before, what if its permanent next time?
I cant get past the fact of it might not be james' baby. Id be devistated. Ive had my heart set on it. I truely do love him, dont i? or do i feel that he's the only one that loves me? or am i afraid of letting him go and knowing that i could be replaced and all that love i thought we had was flushed. I cant imagine life without him, ive been gone, and hated everything so much, id always come back. but is he worth those little toes? I give myself the pro's and con's, and with every mood i have one outweighs the other. Sometimes i think, "im over it, im going through too much, its best to have the abortion. then sometimes i think " im keeping it, im moving out and going to my parents, and raising this baby" and then i think... "i'll only have it if the ultrasound tells me its his" .... and then i think of the guilt. I have a cycle of emotions, they all seem like the right thing to do for the different ways of thinking. I think i'll be making a spur of the moment decision after that ultrasound. Hopefully it will be the best decision for myself, and my baby.

[kimmie_n_angus]

***APPLAUDS**** jenni good for to see once you have made your bed you have to lay in it. there is no gaurentee this man will love you....but your baby will always love you for letting it have a chance to live. there is so much help for a woman like you. i got housing, food stamps, and assistance for school and raised my son alone. it has been so rewarding. sometimes i got lonely or frustrated but i would look at my son and realize what love really is. i now have a wonderful hubby....you too ccan have all of it and your dreams...and still be a mom...single or not. keep your baby and find the help you need in your comunnity....department of human services or any chursh will surely help you...don't look to this man that could careless for you or your baby. he cares about drinking. my son's father was and still is an alcoholic. he still only cares that he has his booze....claims to love our son....but hasn't seen him in 4 yrs. if this man really wants to change he would of....he doesn't want to....he just wants to not be alone and and is trying to make you insecure so he doesn't have to be better.

love...kimmie

[Jenni6485]

oh my goodness all of you make such a great point. i woke up crying this morning because i had dreams about an abortion. my baby being sucked into a tube, being in a cold surgical room where the doctors have no sympathy, just "another one for the day". i will never forgive myself. i want to have children so bad, and yes, what if this is the only chance i have? i kept asking and asking him lastnight that if i get this abortion, will he still love me? will he still want to marry me? will he still want to try to have another baby? I'm so POSITIVE this baby is his! but there is always that posibility that it isnt, and that hurts me. james said that he will stop the drinking. but its easier said than done. we've been togather for almost a year, and the longest hes been wtihout a drink is 14 days. I cant deal wtih my baby asking me "mommy why do you cry all the time? why does daddy get angry? why dosnt he let us sleep?" He totally drank around his kid. and hes done innoproperate things like punnishing her too hard, shaking her crib, playing mind games, minipulating her to hate her mother... i was around that. i saw him hit her repeatively and i ran out the house and called the police and the mother. well, as to say, they were in a custody battle anywy, and since i did that he ended up signing her over so the mom can move to oregon to get married and have a new life. they had a purely sexual relationship, he didnt love her, so there were lotsa problems. anyway, im getting off track. but i do seem to answer my own questions over and over. its so hard to actually do it. ive left several times. countless. id be gone anywhere from a few days to 2 weeks. (and the last time i left, i thought it was for sure, and i found myself being loved by another man. stupid me) Well, today im going to contact the other guy and let him know of my situation. i have the ultrasound on wednesday... i bet i'll run out of that clinic before they sit me down on the bed. no way in hell my little baby is going to be killed and sucked into a tube and thrown away with hundreds of little babys. I have mental images and its awfull. And to live with these images the rest of my life? I may have been irresponsible with what ive done, but it would be more irresponsible to not take care of the responsibility God gave me.

[kimmie_n_angus]

i was a single mom for 7 yrs and never had a prob dating....you figure it out. there is so much help for single mothers and now i am married to a wonderful man. don't do this for him....keep your baby and find a shelter....there are also unwed mother's homes that you can live in while PG and getting on your feet.

love....kimmie