Pregnancy symptoms but negative test- husband passed away!!

[brandy681]

My husband and I started trying for a baby 7 months ago and he passed away last month. I ovulated on the 14th which was late and that was the day we had relations, the only day. I then had a period on the 23rd but not a normal period. It was heavier then spotting but less then my normal flow and lasted 3 days. I started cramping around the 18th which was unusual and that cramping lasted until the end of the month, on and off. Now I was due for a period yesterday but it may be off due to stress but I've also been having on and off cramps the entire month which is unusual. I started having breast tenderness at the beginning of the month and there are several light colored blue veins appearing on my veins which worry me.

I've NEVER had blue veins on my breast and I notice them on my arms a lot too. I've been really tired and have headaches but no nausea or vommiting. I took a pregnancy test last week which would make me 6 weeks and it was negative. I am now 7 weeks and my breast continue to be sore and they have never been sore. I want to be pregnant. Could I be having a phantom pregnancy because I really want a baby with the man I miss and love. My husband passed away suddenly but before he passed away I had this strong I intuition that I was pregnant. I'm trying to convince myself I'm not crazy but getting the negative test and having a period, although not normal, I think I may be losing my mind. The symptoms I have are real but when you want something so bad you can bring on symptoms?

Do you think it's possible to ovulate on the 14th and then have a period on the 22nd? It was 3 days long which is normal and slightly lighter but definitely heavier then spotting. I drink a ton of water all day long. When I took the pregnancy test the urine was clear. It was evening urine but being 6 weeks pregnant should it have shown positive? I'm scared to take another test. I loved my James and love his family. Our first and his family would be so happy. I definitely have all symptoms besides morning sickness and food aversions. I've never felt pregnant before and before he passed all the sudden, I had an intuition that I was. I don't know what I would do if I'm not pregnant. I'm 28.

[brandy681]

Hi Blu that is so sweet. I have always wanted those gorgeous life like babies you buy from the Beadford Exchange. They are expensive and have names but are so life like. I am trying to remain optimistic but am wanting to wait awhile longer to test because fear of rejection. I have every sign but morning sickness and food aversions but my Mom didn't have those until 8 weeks. I am trying to wait another week. I've been praying. Shortly after he passed away, I told myself that nothing short of a baby would get me through this but I was doubtful but when I started having signs, I really believed. It's like God heard my prayers. It's hard not knowing. Most people can always try again next month but when you lose someone you love it's not possible. I told God that if this was the only child I could have that I would be happy. Although I really wanted 2-3 to begin with. A funny thing I never knew which is so neat is that when I asked my mom how she knew she was pregnant with me, she said she just knew both times. I said did you have signs and she said no and that her first sign was her intuition. Now I think that is so neat! :) Of course I know it's sad growing up a single parent and maybe everything happens for a reason but in my heart I know he was my soul mate and as I raise my child I will always see my husband in my child. If I explain how we got miraculously brought together it would take all day to explain how I know we are soul mates. I may fall in love again but I know that love will never come close to the love I had with him. That is just not possible. I've been in love before in a long term but knew immediately that there would be no one like him, ever!! Please pray for me.. Please pray for my mourning and my hopeful and safe pregnancy. I've never taken meds my entire life but after his loss I got on two sleeping meds, two antidepressants and a anti anxiety med. I already talked to the dr and he said to stay on my meds or try and wean slowly. Now I was crying 24/7 w no eating and no sleeping. I am now crying 6-8 hours a day at least and sleep a little. I do therapy. Normally he would tell people to come off these meds but with the bad shape I'm in he said the rebound effect will bring back 24/7 tears and big time suicidal thoughts. Since its risky I want to come off but the dr said that quitting can be more risky for me but I think pregnancy giving me a purpose in life will help me to wean off without the 24/7 tears. As a matter of fact he was going to start me on another anxiety med before I explained about the possible pregnancy. I have already started the weaning of one medication but still get jittery, hand tremors, rapid heart beat and BP, and more frequent panic attacks, headaches, less sleep but that's from just cutting down .5mg day and night. It's manageable though. Not too severe. He said the Buspar will be easier to come off, shouldn't take but a few weeks to a month at the most. The anxiety is not good for the baby either.

[BluCrystal]

I am SO sorry for your loss, Brandy!  I am sending you hugs right now, along with a few Angels to comfort you.  Yes, when you put your entire existence, literally, into wanting/getting one thing (almost like addiction), you can produce the results you want to see.  Please test again, preferably a blood test from your gyn, so the results are sure to be accurate.  I hope you are pregnant, too.  That would be so wonderful for all concerned.  But please remain realistic: you may not be pregnant.  And every one of us has to learn how to accept things we can't change.  What you CAN change is your point of view about it, by doing things that make you feel better about it.  I'll give you my own example.  When i got together with my current husband (together 17 years now), my tubes had been tied after my last child due to complications, and doctor's orders not to bear any more children because the next baby would kill me with hemmoraging (sp?).  My husband and I went through a period where we got to wishing we could have a baby together, and knowing we couldn't.  Guess what we did?  Together, without my other kids, we went to the store.  We each picked out a babydoll.  Then we went to the baby section, and chose the cutest outfits to dress them in.  We even bought pacifiers, and some baby toys.  We gave them names, and they have dates of birth: the day we bought them.  They 'sleep' in cradles in our bed room, with their tiny toys.  Sometimes we go pick them up and just hold them for awhile in the privacy of our room.  I know that sounds really eccentric.  But we FELT BETTER for doing this, the closest we could come to having babies together.  We don't talk about it to people.  The babies are just for US.  And we are glad to have them here.  I'm sure there are other ways you could deal with not being pregnant, but I can't think of anything else right now.  Prayers and Blessings - Blu

[Anonymouse88]

I think pregnancy tests say to use the first urine of the day (use urine from the middle of the stream, not when you first start), and that you shouldn't drink excessive amounts of fluid beforehand.  If your urine was clear, I'm guessing you could have a false negative.  Get another test and make sure to follow the package instructions exactly.  You can also go to the doctor's and get an ultrasound.  At 7 weeks, they should be able to find a fetus with ultrasound.  They can also do a blood test, which is more accurate than a home urine test.  I know of two women who had a period throughout pregnancy, but it was shorter than their normal.  One found out at 5 months, the other at 7 months (although there was a lot of denial going on there).  So I think there's a decent chance you are pregnant, given the short period and other symptoms.

My condolences to you and your family on your husband passing away.

[treetree46]

When I had my ob/gyn do a pregnancy test on me after being late over a week, it came back negative, but turned out I was pregnant with my daughter.  There was not enough HCG in my system to pick up a positive result. A few days later I purchased a pregnancy test from the store and it came back positive.  I did have a short period, but it was dark for a few days.