Pregnancy

[clarksgirl469]

Alright..here goes. I'm in a relationship and am extremely happy. I have a 5 year old step son and I adore my boyfriend. I want a baby, he doesn't want anymore. He told me though that if I were to get pregnant accidently that he would be thrilled he just doesn't want to try. He will not have sex with me without condoms. I don't want to trick him per say but (even me and his mom talked), he would gladly be a dad all over again. How in the world can I get pregnant by a guy who wants a child by accident because he doesn't want to plan? I feel so horrible even asking this but do I poke holes in the condom? I'm so confused!

[petparent6]

Sweetie, I would just give it time.  If you really love someone, you should never be dishonest or trick them.  If you are meant to have a baby together, you will!  I don't believe in accidents, everything happens for a reason.  Sounds to me like he is still working through some stuff, and I think you should let him do that. Give him time to 'see' that YOU are NOT his ex...
I think he's just scared.  
Maybe after his son moves away, and he realizes how much he misses him, he will see that it really would be nice to have tiny feets running around after all.  Just give him the time he needs to work through whatever this is.
Be patient and let things happen the way they're meant to.  

[clarksgirl469]

I have talked to him about it. He just said then you are with the wrong guy and then if I do discuss it with him then he feels pushed. He did come forward and say to me that the reason he doesn't want another one is because it is so much drama with his first one and I can see that now. His ex is moving away so we are going from seeing him 5 days a week to literally 1 day a week. I don't know how to make him realize that this is not the same relationship. I've got so many different feelings going through my  head that I don't know anymore.

[AUSTIN431]

I would talk to him about that maybe he doesn't realize how much it hurts you that you help to raise his son but he doesn't want a baby with you because it would interfere with his hobbies  

[clarksgirl469]

I know I feel bad even feeling this way. We had gotten pregnant accidently a couple of months ago and it ended in a miscarriage. We was both really excited when we found out. His reasoning for  not wanting one is that he won't have time to race. The frustrating part for me is I'm raising his son while he does all of that so for me what is one more if we would both be happy? He would have his racing and I could watch the kids which is what I'm wanting. I love my boyfriend and I could find someone else but it wouldn't be him...and I do love him.

[AUSTIN431]

i wouldn't recommend it i think your right the first time when you said he doesn't want another baby that he said he would do the right thing and be a good dad if you accidentally got pregnant is not the same as wanting a baby that he refuses to have sex with out a condom says it not about not wanting to plan for a new baby he doesn't want another baby right now maybe later i can't tell you that but if you trick him its not going to work out well for either of you if your really happy and want to be with him give it time and do it honestly or if having a baby is a insurmountable difference to you then you need to leave him and when your ready find someone who wants to have a baby with you but you can't have the strong healthy relationship you need before you even consider having a baby without trust and having a baby puts a strain on even the strongest relationships so i think it would be a huge mistakes things like that never stay a secret he would probably find out and even if he doesn't wouldn't you feel terrible anyway? you already feel bad now imagine if you went through with it