Women's Health Community
Pregnant and not wanting to be intimate
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to women's health issues, including bone health, gynecologic cancers, genetic testing, heart disease, infectious diseases, work issues, mammograms, reproductive health, sexuality, domestic abuse and sexual violence.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Pregnant and not wanting to be intimate

I am 10 weeks pregnant and I have no sexual desire.  When my fiance and I have sex it hurts and is uncomfortable.  We have had an active sex life prior to me getting pregnant but ever since I have no drive.  I would say we have sex once a week and that's because I feel bad for him.  He doesn't make a big deal of it and he doesn't make me feel bad, I just do.  we went from having sex almost everyday to not having much of it at all.  When we do I just can't wait for it to be over.  I heard that in the second trimester you get the desire back on full speed but I'm just afraid that I'm going to feel like this forever.  Please tell me I'm not the only one.
Related Discussions
16 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Well I am now 17 weeks and I stil do not have the "drive" I have no desire at all. My husband is very understanding though. Due to a previous mc, I was put on pelvic rest throughout my first trimester so we couldnt anyway. But I think tha tit is just because your body is so drained of energy maybe.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
also if you are having pain, are you sure that you dont have a yeast infection?
Blank
145992_tn?1341348674
No yeast infection, I just went to the doctor and she said everything is ok.  It's a raw feeling, I know TMI.  I've always had yeast infections so I know that I don't have one.  I think it's just that I'm not interested and therefore I don't see the pleasure in it any more.  I'm still very attracted to my fiance but I want to just cuddle and I like kissing but when it comes down to sex I just don't want it.
Blank
171768_tn?1324233699
i'm 23 weeks, and so far we have only tried sex ONCE (at 20 weeks). i wish i had the desire, but i don't. in the beginning, i was way too sick and tired. (when i was 10 weeks i couldn't even handle cuddling, let alone sex). after that, we kinda got used to not having it, and then i got nervous about the long break because i've never had a "dry spell." now, i just don't have the drive, and i think since i am showing so much now, i don't even know if he'll actually find the desire either.  dh is very understanding, and doesn't make me feel guilty at all. our attempt wasn't entirely successful, because i wasn't comfortable and he was afraid he'd hurt me. i hope to give it another try soon. dh laughed recently and joked that this will be known as his year without sex.
Blank
174483_tn?1327629077
you and me both girl, i cant seem to get in the mood at all lately, i feel so bad for DH,
Blank
171768_tn?1324233699
wanted to add- have you read Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy? she helped me feel less guilty when she described not wanting sex more than twice during her entire pregnancy. however, she does advocate alternative methods for having orgasms :)

it's a great, funny read that normalizes a lot of the feelings and physical effects of pregnancy.
Blank
174483_tn?1327629077
im shocked they would tell your husband that too? was he complaining that you were not horny to them, or did they just feel the need to inform him, i agree dumb beotches

oh and not only do i not want to be touched, i even feel gross sometimes, i love my dh sooo much, but especially when he wants to get some boob action, it makes me sick! ive never been like that, even with my dd, this must be a boy:)
Blank
145992_tn?1341348674
I understand about the touching thing to.  Sometimes when he touches my belly I want to break his hand off.  It is scary.

What is wrong with those women sharing that kind of information with your husband.  That would really **** me off as well.  You should show him this board so that he can see that not wanting sex is a common thing.  I was happy to know that other women were feeling the same way.  
Blank
145992_tn?1341348674
It's so strange how that happens.  It's such a drastic change for him, he jokes when I do have sex that he'll leave me alone for a couple of days.  He says his hand gets tired...lol.  I think in the beginning it was frustrating to him, but as we've talked about it he's become much more understanding.  

I will see if I can pick up that book, it sounds like a good read.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i dont even want to be touched, let alone have sex. DH is miserable but his touch even sends me over the edge, and NOT in a good way. Silly hormones!

My problem is all these stupid women that DH works with keep telling them that they were so horny when they were pregnant (dont ask me why, seriously, they dont want to run into me on the street) so he thinks that i am not normal.

Dumb women need to keep their mouths shut! GRRR..can you tell i have raging hormones?
Blank
174483_tn?1327629077
haha the senario just entered my mind, i am picturing your dh saying " but honey their wives are horney when their pregnant(in a whinny tone) " and then you respond "well im not their wife am I? haha reminds me of most of my teenage life,

"mom my friends mom lets them!!!!!!!!
well im not their mom am i??

best of luck, and tell your dh to steer clear of the horny squad at work hehe
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Im a guy and my Fiancee is going thru the same thing. I had to google this to get a better understanding cause it is a drastic change for us men its not about the sex for all of us its more about the person you know emotionally disapearing. I look at the big picture so I find peace with knowing its for a purpose or it has a reason. Me and my fiance had a disagreement just yesterday cause she says somethings lately that are completely out of character and it kinda hurts naturally and i reacted to it. Im just glad to know that it is more of yall out there that this is somewhat I guess you can call it "normal" in a weird way. Man but 9 month is a long time..lol
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
this definitely helped alot. i am in the military and just got home. i found out my wife was pregnant the week after i left so it was hard but i couldnt wait to be home with her. unfortunatelly now that im home she wants nothing to do with me. she definitely shows no emotions of intimacy at all towards me. she wont kiss me wont hug me wont hold my hand. its extremelly hurtful from my perspective but i cant change hormones. any ideas that might help?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i have the same problem i have no sex drive and its my 3rd child it didnt happen with my other 2 pregnancies i dont understand this is so weird at least i know now im not alone in this no sex drive thing!!
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
This thread is soooo old but the problem is showing up every day in a significant portion of the  340,000+ pregnancies around the world at this moment.

I'm a guy who has been through this once and am going through it again now. Was a bit of a mystery until I did some biology homework.

Look , the woman has promoted the first bit of bringing a child into this world. I mean that she has responded to the ovulation hormone (progesterone) in her body that make her want to be closer to her man on every level. One of these levels involved sex.

Voila, a baby has now been conceived.

Progesterone literally means 'get gestation'.  Guess what? You got gestation. Sex is no longer required. And neither does she want sex because surprise,surprise the 'get gestation' hormone is now at an all time low.

Read: The mother now needs her man on an emotional and practical level. The man shouldn't do things for her just in the hope of getting some action. Her job now is to nurture and grow that precious little life inside her. This translates into firm/rude/aggressive rejection of his randy advances.

As a guy just let me add that its as if my body knows she is pregnant. My desire to have sex (read:impregnate) her is all but gone. Maybe its a pheromone that pregnant women release to signal 'hey, ya know, you've done your job brilliantly now just support me and stop trying to get it on'

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I just don't get horny and I love sex with all my heart oh my God I which I could get my groov back#sad
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Women's Health Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Women's Health Answerers
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
9090222_tn?1401649595
Blank
Madpi
136956_tn?1363091289
Blank
ticked
Mississauga, ON
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
old_before_my_time
1527510_tn?1392304944
Blank
Carly1306
United Kingdom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
kitty094
London, United Kingdom