Question about my medical report

[confused&worried]

This is a very long story but short version is... something happened to me one night that caused severe bruising and vaginal lacerations.  I have no memory of what happened at all.  Could you please help clarify what these medical records say?

"Severe external bruising is noted in her right labia majora and very small vaginal lacerations are noted at the introitus."  "lacerations repaired with simple interrupted sutures total length being roughly 3 1/2 centimeters".

Apparently one laceration had severed an artery which left me bleeding severely and I almost died!  Please help me understand what all of this means.  From the report above, what would have caused this?  I was at my home with my fiancee, one of his friends and his friend's girlfriend. He claims he doesn't know/remember and  no one else from that night is talking.  All I know is that I woke up in the bathtub nude and bleeding.

[laura1977]

i don't drink anymore unless maybe a couple at home with my husband.  the world has changed so much and there are so many people out there that would hurt a female given the right conditions.  I personally think us telling you to get away from those people is smart because we are just worried that something like this could happen again or worse.  if you were drugged, the same person could put the same thing in your pepsi.  

[bip]

I hope everything goes well with you. PLEASE don't go back to this guy stay away from those others they are not friends.....

[Happy2girls]

I pray for you.  Please do as Freshmaker suggested and get some type of counseling for yourself.  Believe me I understand how you feel that you won't be believed.  When I was younger I was with work friends and got drunk and passed out only to wake up with one of those "friend's" fingers inside of me.  It was horrible and though I knew is wasn't my fault I felt embarrassed and have not to this day told anyone about it. And this was nothing compared to what you've been through.  Of course you were in shock.  The medical personnel failed you on this.  It was a no-brainer that you were violated and they should have treated this as a crime.  Even your doctor has a responsibilty to report this.  Heck where I live even hairdressers are required to report suspected abuse.  God bless you.    

[confused&worried]

When I noticed that I was bleeding down there and all I thought that I could have been pregnant because I was a little late for my period but that really wasn't something out of the norm for me. So I thought that I must have been having a miscarriage with all that blood coming from down there.  Then when I fell asleep on the sofa and awoke literally in a pool of blood I knew something was terribly wrong and soon after I went into shock and was taken to the ER.  When the medical exam was done it showed that I was not pregnant.  As for the hospital, this happened in NC.  I don't know why the police and all were not contacted all she did is ask me if I was at a club, which I wasn't and that was the end of it.  I now wonder why it wasn't reported by the hospital.  Obsviously she knew I must have been raped but I was figuring at the time that since she didn't do or really say anything it must not have been.  I just remember being "dazed and confused" at the ER.  Most of it was probably me recovering from shock because I did go into shock from the blood loss.  My financee does live with me, we lived together at the time as well.  As far as my relationship with the girlfriend and guy at my house, I had none with them.  The guy was an Army buddy of my husband's and I really don't know either of them that much at all.  I haven't allowed them back at my house again though, nor anyone else that is not my friends.  We have no video camera and I searched the house for anything at all that could give me some clues but it has turned up nothing.  I know you guys think I should go to the police but I don't really think anything would come of it.  I mean the doc at the ER didn't even call police that night and I don't remember anything about what happened past them talking about doing a beer and snack run.  Basically, who's going to believe me?  That night I had showered several times because of all the blood coming out of me and all so I knew too that there would be no DNA at all left behind.  What a mess this all is and what bothers me the most is that I don't remember ANYTHING that happened to me.  

I would STRONGLY encourage ALL women who read this to really think LONG and HARD about who they drink around.  You may think that you could trust your boyfriend, finacee, or husband to take care of you while you are under the influence and I wouldn't want you to find out the hard way - like me- that you can't trust ANYONE when you are like that.  If you are going to drink, drink wisely.  The worst thing for me on this is that something horrible happened to me and I don't have a clue as to what, who, when, just where - my own home!  

[The Freshmaker]

I'm so sorry that you had to experience this. I won't make any judgements upon the relationships you had with the people in that room, nor tell you that you must leave your fiance. But you must have been raped by your fiance, or his friend... have you talked much to you fiance about it? I think people tend to get carried away by talking about not getting into 'suituations'. Obviously suituations happen with, or without our control - and no matter how prepared we are, sometimes they get the better of us.

From the sounds of it, you must have been drugged in one way or another to not remember things like that, it's horrible that this suituation happened at all, but in some ways, a bit of a blessing that you did not have to experience it all in the moment. Please do not think, in any way, that I pressume you lucky for this incident. I'm deeply sympathetic for you, but i'm afraid the most I can offer in way of advice is ways to avoid rape.

Having had a good friend of mine raped, I think that the most important thing for you to focus on now is /you/. Treat yourself with the respect you know you fully deserve, mentaly and physicaly and focus on the positives in life. You must have friends and family who will be willing to help you (if you want it or not!) and I strongly suggest that you find comfort in them.

I also strongly think that you should report this. Rape is a /terrible/ offense, and though it might be confronting and difficult at first, you /should/ report it. I wouldn't like to think that whoever did this to you believes that they got away with it.

Once again, i'm very sorry and I sincerely hope you're doing alright.

[laura1977]

Okay I hope no one gets too upset about what I am going to say.  
Confused and worried, have some self respect and leave him.  He obviously isn't someone you should be with.  If my husband knew that his friend raped me, I assure you that man would probably be close to dead after he got done with him.  Plus my husband wouldn't leave me alone with a man that had been drinking.  My husband wouldn't do that because he LOVES ME!  I have no idea how old you are, but I suggest you talk to your parents.  I just don't understand how you got away with the hospital not performing a rape kit, and calling police for report.  That is the law I thought, so that the hospital isn't held responsible.  I am also confused how you were so drunk and you thought you had a miscarriage, did you think you were pregnant, and if yes then why were you drinking?
I hope other girls read this stuff, and learn that they need to be careful about what kind of situation they let themselves into.  I believe you because I believe that no woman in there right mind would ever make this up.  I just wanted you to know that I do believe you and if you need help I can locate someone for you.

[Happy2girls]

I am also curious to know if you thought you were pregnant prior to this incident and if so how did your fiance feel about the pregnancy?

[Happy2girls]

I'm sorry this happened to you.  I find this all very disturbing.  I agree w/mslkpage that this was not handled appropriately.  The whole thing sounds fishy, like maybe you were set up by your fiance.  I am not trying to add to your anxiety believe me but I am concerned for you.  I do not recall if you said in the previous posts but does your fiance live with you?  I think it is very possible that you were drugged and it's suspicious that your finace had to go with the other girl for beer.  It doesn't make sense.  If your fiance does reside with you and you own a video camera I would definitly check that because it all sounds so strange, I am thinking maybe they filmed the event.  Again I am sorry if this causes you more anxiety but I've heard of this happening.  And if you two do live together for goodness sakes get out.  

[mslkpage]

What's baffling to me is how it was handled (or not handled) by the medical staff at the hospital. If this had happened in TX, a SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) would have been called to do the exam. She would then have a duty to report the incident to law enforcement and would likely contact a sexual assault victim's advocate. I don't know where the OP lives, but it blows my mind to think that protocal would vary so much from one state to another.

BTW, it's not too late to report this. In many states the statute of limitations for sexual assault is 10 years. If it were me, I would forget contacting the girlfriend and let the police handle this investigation.

[RockRose]

Confused and worried,  your story is beyond bizarre.  

You need to break up with this man,  who found you naked and bleeding from an assault,  if he doesn't "know" what happened to you although there was only one other guy in the house when this happened to you.  

He "knows" what happened to you,  he isn't saying,  and neither is anyone else.

If any normal fiance/boyfriend left you alone in the house with a man and returned to find you naked and bleeding vaginally,  the other two would be talking or facing fists or cops,  depending on the fiance's individual personality.

Your story is a little crazy.

[laura1977]

I am confused about one thing were you pregnant to begin with?

[confused&worried]

When I woke up I was in the masterbath.  When I screamed out for my fiancee he tried to come into the bathroom but it was locked.  When he finally got in I told him that I must be miscarrying - because of the alcohol it wasn't till much later that I started the feel the pain "there" and he went out and told them that they had to leave the house because I was having a miscarriage.  That's what I thought at the time until later in the a.m. I went to the ER because the bleeding was severe and it wouldn't start and that's when they told me that I wasn't pregnant at all, never was and that the bleeding was from vaginal lacerations and that one had severed an artery.  So... that is what she thought happened.  I want to ask her who went with her to the store and what did my fiancee do when he returned because OBVIOUSLY I was in the bathroom locked in.  And you are right, he should have NEVER left me there with that guy alone and it is REALLY messed up that he did!  I've been checked for STDs and so far not pregnant.  THANKFULLY!

[AnnieBrooke]

Also, you're going to have to get yourself tested for STDs and for pregnancy.  Please take the doctor's report to the police.  Rape is a crime, not an awkward social occasion where you have to try to get people to tell you what happened.  I strongly second what Laura is saying about changing your friends.  You really need and deserve a better chance at life success than this!

[laura1977]

My question to you is your fiancee knew you were drinking, and he knew the other guy was drinking.  Why would he leave you alone with that guy?  Why wouldn't that guys girlfriend know already, if they came back after it happened?  Something doesn't seem right to me.  I believe you, I just think that you need to realize that your fiancee is part of the problem.  Not too many guys will leave their fiancees or wives at home alone with another guy while drinking.  It maybe too late to press charges, but it's not to late to get yourself away from that group of individuals.  You maybe totally inlove with your fiancee, but he left you there and went with the other guys girlfriend.  I know I'm not your mother, but I am the mother of 2 little girls, and I gotta say if this happened to one of them, their boyfriend and the other two friends would also be having problems with me.  Please find a different group of friends.  If you don't leave this situation, I am sorry to say it could happen again or worse that guy could tell your fiancee that you wanted it,then your fiancee will blame you.  You are strong!  Believe in yourself.  
I hope that you look into a support group of rape that will help you out.  

[laura1977]

one other thing, did the doc do any blood work?  Have you ever thought that the guy set it up.  You said that he told his girlfriend to go on beer run?  Well, he could've slipped you something a little bit before that.  

[confused&worried]

There was drinking involved.  I was drinking a lot that night (so was the other guy and my finacee, the girlfriend was the only one sober) and the very last thing that I remember is the guy telling his girlfriend to go for a beer run and to get some snacks and I "think" (this is where my memory gets fuzzy) that my fiancee went with her because he was paying.  The next thing I know, I wake up in the bathtub nude and bleeding from the vagina and then screaming for my finacee. The doc couldn't find anything in me and she said that it was probably all gone long before I got there from the bleeding and me getting in the shower.  The whole night I was thinking it was a bad miscarriage - I had no clue.  Then she just kept asking me "Were you at a club." and all I could say was no because I wasn't.  I called my regular doc today over this and he said that it was rape.  Needless to say - I have never touched alcohol again since that night.  I'm going to try and contact the girlfriend that was there that night and see what she has to say about this.... I just need answers and was wanting to make sure that I wasn't misreading this info in my medical report from that night.  I didn't really ask anything to the doc that night, I was still recovering from the alcohol I guess and was a bit fuzzy still and very tired.  Thanks to you all for your responses!  I didn't think I was misreading this report.

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with Laura.  I think it is time to re-evaluate your life.  Why didn't your fiance stay sober enough to protect you?  It sounds like you were penetrated with an object that cut you.  This is NOT GOOD.  A life that would let that happen is NOT A GOOD THING.  It sounds like it is time to get away.  In the meantime, I would take the medical report to the police, explain that you don't know what happened, but here is who was in the house at the time, and file a suspected rape report.  I'm so sorry for you that this happened, and that it should mean you will have to change things big time, but it is your entire future you are facing, and you don't want this future.

[laura1977]

I just want to make sure that you understand, that if there were two guys in the home at the time this happened.  You need to never be around either of them again.  If your fiancee didn't do this, then why didn't he protect you?  Another thing you need to consider is if you marry this man, he could be the father of your children some day.  Do you want your son or daughter to have a father like that.  Please oh please go to the police, go to the doctor, go to your church, or parents, friends, neighbors.  Anyone!!!!!!  Get away from the those to guys and stay away.  You can do it!  I know that you love your fiancee, but there is a 50% chance that he did this to you.  Do you understand that what you discribe of the docs report, it was very harsh.  If you were drinking or if they were drinking it's still not your fault.  Get away.

[chel86]

Just to add to the comments - this is a truly awful thing that has happened to you and I repeat what the others have said.

If you are looking for explanation of the medical terminology, I understand that "labia majora" means the outer lips of your vagina.

You need to get some answers to what happened that night.  Take care & good luck.

[bip]

Oh my god.  I was half a sleep when I read your post and Im reading it again it does sound like you been  Raped...... Are you ok? Please go to the police tell them everything you know of. Report who you were with.  Get some help now before this happens again...

[laura1977]

I hope you understand that I am not trying to be mean or trying to tell you what to do.  
Was there drinking involved that night?  Are you still with your finacee, or have you checked into the fact that it could've been the other guy?  Rape is rape, if your finacee did indeed do this to you, you need to get out!  Any man that would cause that much damage to a female isn't a good guy and you need to get out.  Did the doc do any testing for sperm.  You didn't concent to sex, and therefore no matter who did this to you, it is considered rape.  I don't know the whole story, just what you wrote, and the way I read it is you didn't concent to it, and remember nothing.  Sometimes our minds block out trama that was done to us.  I think that you need to go talk to someone regarding this, and then get out of that house and never go back.  I am truly sorry that this happened to you, no female or male to that matter diserve to be put through this.  Take care.

[tmv]

The medical record as stated by you does not say anything about arterial laceration. It only describes what could or could not be forced vaginal entry.Did they do a rape kit with vaginal swabbing for dna? or possibly some object was used instead....not sure.What did the dr say?

[gretchen36]

Yeah.....I agree with torque. It doesn't sound very good. Like maybe someone slipped something in your drink and did whatever they did to you. How much do you trust the people you were with that night? If you were home when it happened and they were the last people you remember seeing then I think I would get to the bottom of what happened. Ask the doctors who examined you and demand some answers. Sorry that this happened to you. Best of luck.

[torque]

Did you have your doctor give you these results? What did they say? Please dont think I am be insensitive, but it sounds like you were raped. I think I would have questioned your boyfriend some more than what you did. I hope everything is well with you. Best of luck!