THE BIG O

[brokenwoman]

Though I have had an orgasm without the use of a vibrator only a handful of times in my 35 years, it seems as though I am dependent upon vibrators to get there and I am stuck with having to use one the rest of my life.  Is there no other help out there?  I need an alternative. My husband absolutely hates me using the vibrator on my clitoris during sex.  He feels like theres another man in the bedroom and that I dont need him.  This issue is causing a major problem.  Is there any other way?  Does Viagra or any other medication help to increase sensation of the clitoris?

[niobe]

I wish I had a good answer... but I definitely feel your pain.  I'm 34 and the exact same way; I take antidepressants so that doesn't help.  I really don't think Viagra is a good idea ... I'd be too afraid of the side effects and wouldn't want to take it regularly.  I'm pretty sure it hasn't been indicated for women yet; at the same time, some doctors out there probably do prescribe it for women.

One thing I've thought of trying (but haven't yet!) is hypnosis.  I have no idea if it would work for something like this, but it has crossed my mind.  I have tried that Zestra stuff (look it up online if you haven't heard of it), but I found the scent absolutely terrible and couldn't keep using it.

It's a shame your husband hates the vibe!  I don't get it when men feel threatened by it.  I think at this point you are feeling a lot of pressure too, and that doesn't help.  Good luck.  Just wanted you to know you're not the only one out there....

[DaisyStPatience]

There's often a few reasons why women don't experience sex through normal intercourse.

Many women cannot achieve orgasm, but since your vibrator proved that you can, that's a good sign

Also, many women cannot achieve an orgasm through intercourse alone.
Many need clitoral stimulation throughout.
So communicate with your husband that in order to be fully satisfied that you need that clitoral stimulation.
If you don't feel comfortable saying such things, you can just guide his hand down there while having intercourse, if that doesn't work, do it yourself.
If that still doesn't work, try a smaller vibrator that is used primarily for such occasions, instead of one phallic shaped.

Also, many women achieve orgasm more easily through masturbation because they feel more comfortable, and know how to work themselves more.
If you feel tense about sex, knowing you won't achieve orgasm without toys, it is impossible to achieve anyhow.
Make sure you always free your mind before having sex. You should feel absolutely free.

Also, tell your husband that there is no need for embarrassment of any kind in the bedroom. That's the place where you can be whoever you want.

I hope all of that helps!

[laura1977]

um the thing is you should stop using the vibrator.  try the next few times with just your husband handling things for you.  i noticed that when i was using a vibrator more often that it was harder to achieve orgasim without it.  something to do with your nerves.  put it away and let your husband have a hand at it.