TNT406.........YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL ON THIS BOARD!!!!!!

[ms_smiles]

HI TNT406, THIS IS YOUR FRIEND MS_SMILES HERE. JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A HIGH FIVE FOR ALL OF THE ENCOURAGING WORDS YOU HAVE BEEN GIVING ME AND ALL OF THE OTHER LADIES ON THIS BOARD. YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT. THERE'S PROBABLY SO MANY OF US THAT MAY NOT  HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GO ON, BUT WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO TAKE THE TIME OUT AND GIVE US SOME ENCOURAGING WORDS MAKES US JUST WANNA TIE A KNOT AT THE END OF OUR ROPE AND HOLD ON A WHILE LONGER. I LIKE TO GIVE HONOR WHERE HONOR IS DUE AND GIRLFRIEND, YOU DESERVE A STANDING OVATION IN MY BOOK, CAUSE YOU ARE CLEARLY A BLESSING TO ALL OF US LADIES ON THIS BOARD. CONTINUE TO REACH OUT TO OTHERS WITH THAT HUMBLE SPIRIT AND KIND HEART AND YOU WILL FOREVER BE BLESSED!! I JUST COULDN'T KEEP THIS TO MYSELF ANY LONGER. JOB WELL DONE TNT.......JOB WELL DONE. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!

MS_SMILES

[ms_smiles]

Glad to hear that your daddy came home. I mentioned you both in church on yesterday so that everyone will continue to pray for you all. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Again, continue to hold on to your faith that everything will be fine when he goes to see the oncologist. Just start thanking the lord in advance for your father's healing. You'll be amazed of how prayer can change things. Even the doctors will be startled at some of the miracles the lord does. Nothing's too hard for him to do. Always remember that in any obstacle that you're facing. All it takes is a little faith the size of a mustard seed, and you'll be able to move mountains out of your way, and I'm sure your faith is much bigger than that, right? I thought so. You take care of yourself until I hear from you again. Always know that people out here care and we're praying for you both. God bless you.

ms_smiles

[tnt406]

HI MS.SMILES MY DADDY GOT TO COME HOME TODAY.HE IS STILL WEAK.HE GOES BACK TO THE DOCTOR ON WEDNESDAY.HE WILL BE SET UP TO SEE AN ONCOLOGIST THEN.WE ARE ALL PRAYING THAT IT IS NOT CANCER.IT IS ABOUT THE SIZE OF A SOFT BALL MY MOMA SAID.SHE SAID THAT THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO REMOVE IT.THAT IS ANOTHER REASON WHY MY DADDY IS SO WEAK.THEY DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN ON HIS CHEST WALL.BUT IT GROWS FAST WHAT EVER IT IS.I KNOW THE LORD IN HEAVEN IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.THANK YOU MS.SMILES FOR CARING.GOD BLESS YOU MS.SMILES AND YOUR FAMILY.GOD IS ALL WAYS SMILING DOWN ON YOU.TNT406

[ms_smiles]

That's the way I like to hear you talk Tnt. Continue to think positive the way you are doing and hold on to your faith and just put everything in the lord's hands, cause he knows best. Putting my troubles in the lord's hands works for me everytime. Again, we are all praying for you both. Take care.

ms_smiles

[ms_smiles]

Thanks Tnt for the update. I will definately call my pastor and also have the rest of the church continue to pray for you and your father. I pray that all goes well for him and he will be back up in no time. God bless you Tnt. Have a great day!! Continue to keep the faith.

ms_smiles

[tnt406]

HI MS.SMILES THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS.I APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS FOR MY ME AND MY DADDY.THE DOCTOR IS GOING TO REFER HIM TO AN ONCOLOGIST.TO HAVE FURTHER ADVICE ON THE TUMOR ON HIS CHEST WALL.I KNOW THAT MY DADDY IS GOING TO BE O.K.GOD BLESS YOU MS.SMILES AND YOUR FAMILY.TNT406

[tnt406]

HI MS.SMILES MY DADDY HAD HIS SURGERY YESTERDAY.HE IS STILL IN THE HOSPITAL,HIS BREAKFAST DIDN'T STAY DOWN THIS MORNING.HE REALLY HASN'T HAD SOLID FOOD IN OVER 3 WEEKS.HIS ARMS ARE SO SMALL,AND HIS STOMACH LOOKS SUNKEN IN.HE HAS LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT.I AM GOING TO SEE HIM TOMORROW.PLEASE HAVE YOUR CHURCH TO CONTINUE PRAYING FOR MY DADDY.HAVE THEM PRAY FOR HIM NOT TO HAVE CANCER.THAT IS WHAT THE DOCTORS THINK THAT IS.IT WASN'T ON HIS LUNG IT WAS ON HIS CHEST WALL.THEY CAN'T REMOVE IT ALL BECAUSE OF IT'S SIZE.HE WILL HAVE TO GO TO A BETTER HOSPITAL.THEY JUST DONE A BIOPSY OF IT YESTERDAY.I AM VERY SCARED FOR MY DADDY RIGHT NOW.THANK YOU MS.SMILES FOR CARING ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY.I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.GOD BLESS YOU MS.SMILES GOD SMILES DOWN ON YOU EVERY DAY.TNT406

[ms_smiles]

Hi Tnt, just checking in on ya to see how things are coming along for you and your father. Is he still in the hospital? How is he progressing? I had my church pray for the both of you on this past Sunday. Please let me know how you both are doing health wise okay? I hope to hear from you soon.

ms_smiles

[oceans3]

ooohhh, i "dunno" hm05, i just feel terrible about bringing it up again for someone else and its not like its a yeast infection, a pregnancy question, it goes MUCH deeper than that and i WISH i gave it much more thought before i posted. i just happen to be going through the posts and one caught my eye about vaginal infections and sexual abuse. my friend the same thing so i thought id turn to someone who has been so helpful and after that post, someone who has "been there". i personally have not gone through that but im sure its devastating and can have so may effects personally, intimitally, emotionally and spiritually. there are just too many angles/dimmensions to the subject. i just want tnt406 to have some peace without me or anyone else being a reminder. i know shes been so helpful to many of us when she has been going through tough times all around of her own. i think i will just leave it alone and allow her to move on as she already successfully has. she seems like she is in the right place now and i dont want to ruin that. thank you so much for your suggestion. it really is appreciated.

[hm05]

Why not start a thread, elsewhere, say about sexual abuse?
This threat is like a dialogue between two posters, and it may be more useful to start a new discussion up for others. Just a thought. Best to you all.

[ms_smiles]

I don't think bad of you one bit. I will always keep you in my prayers. Who am I to judge you or anyone else for that matter. You are doing the right thing and the lord is smiling on you for handling the situation the way you are. Keep up the good work. Again, I will always pray that you continue to have the strength to make it through your tough times.

ms_smiles

[oceans3]

hi again. as much as i admire you for your willingness to have my friend post so you can try to help her, i feel that this isnt the place. like i said, you frequent this forum and the words stay. its not like its one to one email. its here for all to see. i dont want to put you through that or any pain. you just focus on taking care of him (and yourself). your dad sounds stubborn as a mule. i have a neighbor thats been in the hospital who wants out yesterday! she argues w. the nurses and she's not making a very good patient. anyway, thanks with all that i have for offering to talk. since youve put it aside, let it go, its in the past, youve moved on how about we leave it that way ok? have a good day tomorrow and we're here if you need us (for once) you are always helping others, let us help you to. sometimes ya just need to vent!

[tnt406]

THANK YOU KJSK IT REALLY IS HARD TO TALK ABOUT.BUT IF SOME ONE NEEDS HELP IT IS A DIFFERENT STORY.IF I THINK I CAN HELP THAT PERSON IT IS WORTH IT.I JUST PRAY TO GOD FOR HIM TO GIVE ME STRENGTH TO TELL MY STORY,AND HELP HEAL MY WOUNDS AGAIN.SO YOU JUST TAKE AND WASH THAT BAD TASTE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,GOD WILL HELP ME THROUGH THIS AGAIN LIKE HE ALL WAYS HAS.TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND YOUR FRIEND.GOD BLESS YOU TOO KJSK,YOU ARE AN ANGEL TO FOR CARING FOR YOUR FRIEND.TNT406.

[oceans3]

hey you.. hope you are having a good day. i just wanted to let you know that i tried/requested to remove 2 posts that talk about the incident but i guess that task is not an easy one. i also have tried to call FL.and have it done. i just feel terrible and couldnt sleep because i brought it up again for you. since you frequent this forum,i do not want you to be reminded of it each and every time you sign on. i just do not want it there. i feel as if i violated you again. you are truley an angel for trying to help my friend and give your story after i divulged the info. again. that probably brought up memories during a time when you are trying to take care of him and focus on him getting better here in the present not the past. i do see exactly what you are saying. even though he did that, you still love him. you are wonderful for seeing his good side (everyone has one) and not seeing the other side. huge step and accomplishment on your part. i do not know your situation and like my friend cant understand the pain but i think they really are sorry inside. try to look for signs of that. it may be a look in the eye, some words that are close to it like, "thanks", a hand hold, a vibe you get, an arm reach, hug. does he do any of those? even if it doesnt ever come out and say it you'll know in your heart hes sorry. a person can be sorry without saying those exact words so look for them and you will see that he is. the emotions that you are feeling, he is probably feeling as well.
i think you are right about my friend not going to church and holding god responsible. makes sense. she's angry. he did it to her sister as well. she would rather it swept under the rug and forgotten about but thats not healthy for anyone. she would never do what you are doing (not now at least)and i admire you all the more for it. like i said before that is how you will have peace. i will keep "working" her and just be a good listener.i know that her father drinks a lot (so does she) but alcohol will not erase it.
you are amazing that you offered to help her (and me) on the forum. i was just looking for help/advice as you often give. nothing more nothing less but by me posting,it just left a bad taste in my mouth. please know that was not my intention to embarass, violate,or remind you. i appreciate all of your kind words and im grateful you are posting to us all. take each day one at a time and say "today is going to be a good day" when you wake up. if not, theres always tomorrow. god bless you.

[tnt406]

THANK YOU MS.SMILES YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND IN DEED.I AM GOING TO CONTINUE TO CARE FOR MY DADDY.MY MOMA TOLD ME TODAY HE IS STARTING TO GET HATEFUL TO HER,I DON'T KNOW WHY THOUGH.THAT WORRIES ME.HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO TRY TO GET OUT OF BED NOW.HE WILL HAVE TO NEXT WEDNESDAY.THATS WHEN HE HAS THE BIOPSY DONE.HE WILL BE ADMITTED AFTER IT'S DONE,MOMA ALL SO TOLD ME HE IS GOING TO BE IN THERE LONGER THAN 2 OR 3 DAYS.MORE LIKE A WEEK.HE WANT BE HAPPY WITH THAT.I AM PRAYING EVERY DAY THAT MY DADDY WILL LIEVE TO BE 100 YEARS OLD.YOU PROBABLY THINK THAT IS SILLY.GOD BLESS YOU MS.SMILES AND REMEMBER TO KEEP ON SMILING.TNT406

[oceans3]

hello. thank you for taking the time out to write back and again im sorry for asking. i did consider others and how they would respond but i felt if you put it in one of your posts previously, you must be ok talking about it. im sorry if i intruded.
my friend did go to church but now she does not. you are right on with all the advise, thoughts you gave. i think you are a better person for the way you are handling it all. i also think no matter what the "im sorry" is for, men and especially that generation its very difficult if not impossible for some to utter those words. you can bet that as he watches you take care of him that he is indeed sorry in his heart.  most likely he feels those words (im sorry) cant erase anything. i think you are handling it the best way that you know how and he is too. my friend has a lot of problems emotionally and physically (like some compulsive disorders) and lots of physical problems and i cant help but to think that its because she hasnt forgiven. its such a difficult situation that i cannot understand but i will tell her your words. again thank you so much for taking the time to help us all out when you have SO much on your plate. keep doing what you are doing and you will find peace.

[ms_smiles]

Hi Becky, yes you are right. That post did catch me by surprise. I hadn't heard anything about that until the other person left that message for you. I am still praying for you and your family and always will. Matter of fact when I go to church tonite, I will have them pray for you. Continue to take care of yourself and your father and may the lord forever bless you.

ms_smiles

[tnt406]

HI MS.SMILES YOU WILL READ A TO KJSK THAT WILL PROBABLY SURPRISE YOU.BUT LIKE I'VE ALL WAYS SAID I HAVE GOD IN MY HEART AND ON MY SIDE.THAT'S HOW I CONQUERED MY DARK SHADOWS.THATS WHY I ALL WAYS SAY I'M NOT READY FOR MY DADDY TO GO,I WOULD LIKE FOR HIM TO APOLOGIZE TO ME AND MY SISTER BOTH.I KNOW I'M ASKING FOR A LOT.AND IT PROBABLY WANT HAPPEN.BUT I KEEP ON PRAYING FOR IT.MY HUSBAND HAS TOLD ME MY DADDY IS GOING TO SUFFER NOW FOR WHAT HE PUT ME AND MY SISTER THROUGH.I GUESS HE IS RIGHT IN SOME WAYS,MY DADDY IS BED RIDDEN NOW.IT IS AWFUL TO WATCH HIM SUFFER.I DON'T WANT HIM TO SUFFER,BUT MY HUSBAND TELLS ME IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.THIS IS THE GOOD LORDS DECISION.I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO HIM,I FOR GAVE HIM AND I STILL LOVE HIM EVEN THOUGH HE HASN'T APOLOGIZED.I KNOW YOU MUST THINK I'M CRAZY NOW,BUT I'M NOT.THERE IS SOME IN HIM TO,THATS WHAT I LOOK AT NOW NOT THE UGLY SIDE.THAT PART IS GONE NOW,I ERASED IT.I ONLY HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF MY DADDY NOW.I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER MS.SMILES.REMEMBER KEEP ON SMILING AND PRAISING GOD EVERY DAY FOR A WONDERFUL LIFE.GOD BLESS YOU MS.SMILES.TNT406

[tnt406]

HI THE REASON I DIDN'T MENTION ANY THING ABOUT IT IS BECAUSE SOME TIMES I GET EMBARASSED ABOUT IT.BUT WHEN I SEE PEOPLE WHO HAVE WENT THROUGH THIS I HAVE TO SAY SOME THING TO COMFORT THEM AND TRY TO HELP THEM.DOES THAT MAKE SINCE?I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL,THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THERE BODIES,AND CAN NOT LOOK NO ONE IN THE EYE.I STILL CAN'T LOOK NO ONE IN THE EYE.I ALL SO CAN'T BE TOUCHED FROM BEHIND.SO SEE THERE ARE STILL ISSUES,BUT I WILL ALLWAYS HAVE THEM.BUT AT LEAST I CAN SAY I HAVE PEACE IN MY HEART AND PEACE BETWEEN ME AND MY DADDY.THOU SHALT HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER.I HAVE DONE THAT,AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO THAT.WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN.IF WE DON'T FOR GIVE GOD WILL NOT FOR GIVE US WHEN WE ASK.I THOUGHT MY SALVATION WAS WORTH MORE THAN HARBORING HATERED TOWARDS MY DADDY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.MAKES SINCE DOESN'T IT?THANK YOU MS.SMILES FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS.I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK BAD OF ME NOW,BECAUSE THIS IS A REAL DIFFICULT THING TO TALK ABOUT.GOD BLESS YOU MS.SMILES AND REMEMBER TO KEEP ON SMILING.TNT406

[tnt406]

HI HON TALKING ABOUT IT ABOUT IT ALL SO HELPS.I DON'T KEEP IT IN SIDE.YOUR FREIND NEEDS TO DO THE SAME.YOU SAID SHE USE TO GO TO CHURCH BUT DOESN'T ANY MORE.SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS HOLDING GOD RESPONSIBLE,WHEN HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.THE DEVIL WILL COME IN TO SOME ONES LIFE,LIKE HER DADDY'S AND MINE.SHE NEEDS TO BE TURNING TO GOD NOT AWAY FROM HIM.I REALLY WISH I COULD TALK WITH YOUR FREIND.SOME TIMES TALKING WITH ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING,AND HAS FOR GAVE THERE PREDATOR,IN SOME WAYS HELPS THEM.TALK WITH YOUR FREIND,AND SEE IF SHE WILL JOIN THE FORUM.IT WOULD BE NICE IF SHE DID.TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND YOUR FREIND GOD BLESS YOU FOR CARING FOR YOUR FREIND THIS MUCH TO SEEK HELP FOR HER.TNT406

[oceans3]

hi, how are you? i know you are going through a rough time cuz ive read your posts. sorry you are dealing with your own health and your fathers. tough on anyone even without the other issues that you are going through. i hope you dont mind me asking and im sure my timing isnt the greatest but in another post a while back, you offered that you were sexually molested by your father and in another post you mentioned how close you are and how you are taking care of him during his illness. i have a friend who the same thing happeded to only she wont talk to him anymore because she just cant deal w. it.in her mind he is no longer "here". how do you not distance yourself? have you come to tems w. it and forgiven him? how? i want to be able to help my friend but dont know how to. i want her to at least try to forgive him and maybe she will be "free". she has been in therapy but it doesnt seem to be working. does your dad recognize what he did? is it talked about? were you left to cope on your own and its swept under the rug? any info. you can give or advice would be great. again, i HOPE im not prying or out of line by inquiring. all the best to you.
kjsk.

[tnt406]

HI I WENT TO COUNSELING,ALL SO BUT WHAT HELPED MOST WAS TURNING TO GOD.YOU HAVE TO HAVE FOR GIVENESS IN YOUR HEART FOR OTHER HUMANS.IF YOU DON'T YOU WANT GO TO HEAVEN,MY SOUL DESERVES MORE THAN TO ROTT IN HELL FOR HIS OWN MISTAKES.HE ALL SO MOLESTED MY SISTER,SHE IS OLDER THAN ME.OUR MOM KNOWS NOW.MY HUSBAND TELLS ME THAT IS WHY HE IS SUFFERING.THAT IS ANOTHER REASON I'M NOT READY FOR HIM TO GO,I WANT HIM TO APOLOGIZE TO ME AND MY SISTER.DOES THAT MAKE SINCE TO YOU.AS TO YOUR FRIEND DOES SHE GO TO CHURCH?NOW I AM BEING NOSEY?IF SHE HAS FAITH IN GOD HE WILL HEAL HER WOUNDS.SHE HAS TO GO TO HIM FIRST,IT WANT HAPPEN RIGHT OFF BUT SHE WILL FEEL DIFFERENT.SHE WILL FEEL A LITTLE OF THE BURDEN LIFTED THAT SHE HAS CARRIED FOR SO LONG.SHE NEEDS TO LET GO OF THE HATERED BEFOR SHE BEGINS TO HEAL THATS WHY SHE NEEDS GOD IN HER LIFE.TELL YOUR FRIEND TO LOG ON TO THIS SITE AND I WILL GLADLY TALK WITH HER.ONLY SHE CAN HEAL HER SELF THROUGH JESUS CHRIST AND THEN SHE MUST WANT TO BE HEALED.TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND YOUR FRIEND SHE NEEDS ALOT OF PRAYERS AND LOVE.GOD BLESS YOU KJSK.TNT406

[ms_smiles]

Becky, I am so full right now for you and your family until I really don't know what to say. What I can say though is that we are praying so hard for you and your father. Please try your best to stay strong dear. The lord won't put no more on you than you can bare. God bless you.

ms_smiles

[tnt406]

HI MS.SMILES MY DADDY HAS SURGERY NEXT WEDNESDAY,TO HAVE THE TUMOR REMOVED FROM HIS LUNG.HE WILL STAY IN THE HOSPITAL FOR TWO DAYS SO THAT THEY CAN DRAIN HIS LUNGS.HE HAS HAD PNEUMONIA.THEY DRAINED ONE QUART OF FLUID OFF TWO WEEKS AGO,BUT SINCE THEN THEY HAVE REFILLED.I PRAY NIGHT AND DAY FOR MY DADDY.I KNOW THE GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN WILL HELP ME THROUGH MY TIME OF NEED IF HE DECIDES TO CALL MY DADDY HOME.BUT I KEEP ASKING HIM TO WAIT.MY BODY NEEDS TO BE STRONGER IN ORDER FOR ME TO HANDLE IT BETTER.MY HUSBAND HAS TO HELP ME GET IN AND OUT OF OUR CAR NOW.AND TO GO OUT SIDE.THATS HOW WEAK MY BODY IS.I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW MS.SMILES.GOD BLESS YOU AND REMEMBER KEEP ON SMILING.TNT406

[ms_smiles]

Hi Becky, I know exactly how you are feeling. We tend to think that we won't be able to make it, but the lord will see you through. I thought the same thing when I lost my dad in 1997. I didn't think I could go on, and I look at myself now 8 years later and I'm still here. The pain never go away, but the lord will see you through. In the mean time, I will continue to keep the both of you in prayer. Continue to take care of him and the lord will always give you strength to make it through. God bless you and your family Becky.

ms_smiles