TORN IN BETWEEN THE 2

[justme504]

HERE'S THE 411 MY BOFRIEND AND I BEEN GOING OUT FOR ABOUT A YEAR IM 21 AND HE'S 26 AND HE'S WAS MY FRIST MEANING THE FRIST BOY I HAD SEX WITH.AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WE HAVE OUR PROMBLEMS HE HAVE CHEATED ON ME I'VE CHEATED ON HIM. BUT HE'S THE ONLY ONE I HAVE FEELINGS FOR. I ONLY CHEATED ON HIM CAUSE HE DID IT TO ME BUT 2 WRONGS DON'T MAKE IT RIGHT. HE DOSENT KNOW I CHEATE D ON HIM.BUT ANYWAY I THINK HE'S STILL CHEATING ON ME SOMEDAYS I'LL CALL HIS PHONE HE WON'T ANSWER HE'LL MAKE UP SOME LAME EXCUSE TO WHY HE DIDNT ANSWER THE PHONE I DONT NEED HIM IN MY LIFE. BUT HE THE ONLY ONE I WANT I LOVE HIM. EVERYTIME I BREAK UP WITH HIM HE ALWAYS GET ME BACK. IM TORN I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH HIM I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD DO TO KEEP OUR LOVE ALIVE BUT NOTHING SEEMS GOOD ENOUGH.I GIVE HIM SEX WHEN HE WANTS IT MONEY WHEN HE REALLY  NEEDS IT. DONT GET ME WRONG HE DO FOR ME ALSO WHEN IM IN NEED WE DO THINGS TOGETHER WE LAUGH WE HAVE FUN I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHY HE TREATS ME THIS WAY. I GUESS THATS THE DOG IN MEN THEY WANNA HAVE THE CAKE AND EAT IT 2.  LOL EARLY IN THE PARAGRAGH I MENTIONED I DONT NEED HIM BUT SAYED RIGHT AFTER I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM IM CONFUSED I NEED HELP. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO REALLY DO TO KEEP HIM I KNOWS HE'S 5 YEARS OLDER THAN ME BUT I ACT MORE MATURE THAN HIM SOMETIME SO I WOULD'NT SAY THAT IM IMATURE I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE SOMEONE HELP PLEASE!!!!!

[swiftangel]

Hey sweetie,

   So....here's my take on the situation. You are there when he needs you right? Anytime he needs something, you are always there. He is using you, dear. Trust me. This is the kind of guy to do JUST ENOUGH to keep you around while he doesn't care enough to really show you he cares. Giving you money or whatever is his way of caring for himself by knowing those acts will keep you around. You may feel so strongly for him because you shared an extremely intimate moment that you had not shared with anyone else, so there's that part of you that is connected to him and always will be. However, take a look at the pros and cons even if that sounds bad. Does he make you feel happy majority of the time or does he make you feel mostly suspicious or other negative feelings? My point is, don't be there as someone just to call on when he needs something, be there because he loves you; in that he doesn't just say it, he shows it and not necessarily in material ways....

[lucylocket2]

I have to agree, that he is using you. I know it's hard when you really want someone. He know how much you care for him and he us taking full advantage of it. Not all men are dog's . Anyone if you give them money and have sex when ever they want will do that. Sometimes playin hard to get wil do much better. Don't put yourself out there when ever he need's. MY Mama alwasy told me, make them chase you. If you do it right you'll have something on him ajax can't remove. I guess now a days I should say oxy clean won't remove. lol Trust me on this  - I tamed the roughest man around. If he doesn't take the bait - he's not worth it and you will find someone better. I promise you that. Your still so young. Make him wonder how you feel, don't tell him all the time.

[glad2bamom]

I totally agree with Lucy--
She's exactly right.  You need to tell him that you are going to see other people, and when he calls you a few times (even if you're just sitting home watching TV) tell him that you're going out.  Don't be specific, just let him know that you're looking for more maturity in a relationship.  YOu need to feel TREASURED!!  You should be his most valuable possession, and he should treat you like a queen, not come to you when he wants money, or to get laid.

I promise, if he loves you, a few nights of wondering where you are will really turn him around.  Don't be sneaky...tell him you're going out with others, and that you just can't be exclusive with someone that you don't feel like loves you the way you love him.

[sparkeler]

Your giving him sex and money and he's cheating on you.  Your 21 and giving him money?  How is it that you have the money to give to him and he doesnt?   He is disrespecting you, taking money from you, and cheating on you. He will continue to do that until you put your foot down.  Don't give him money. He's 26 and your not married to him.  I know it's really hard to see that he IS using you when you have feelings for him.  But at some point enough is enough.  In this case he doesnt have to buy the cow.  Not only is he getting his milk for free, but he's actuall making a profit off of it.  Wake up girl!

[shygirl1981]

This relationship will never work, these never do. It might be working now, but it's not going to last.  If you've cheated on each other, than it isnt meant to be.  I've never been monogamous unless I've been with someone who's made me want to be monogamous, cuz if it's right, honey you will know it!!!!  I've done the off and on relationships, and THEY NEVER WORK. you can kick the dead horse all you want, but it's dead, and no sense beating this relationship to a pulp, which it sounds like it already has been.  the other girls are right, he is using you. And you are putting your sexual health at risk if you continue to have sex with this guy. He sounds like one of many men who deserve to have their ass kicked to the curb, so get your stompin' boots on, and get rid of him !!!!

[justme504]

I THANK EVERYONE FOR THERE ADVICE AND I WOULD PUT MY FOOT DOWN AND LET HIM KNOW ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. THANKS!!!

[shygirl1981]

awesome, you go girl!! you have your whole life ahead of you, and you most certainly do not need to throw it away for some loser now !!!!

[sk2006a]

good for you!  playing hard to get may work in the short haul, but do you really want to have to keep playing games?  it's soo exhausting lol  go find someone who will treat you right.  any good relationship takes work, but it shouldn't take THAT much work, if you know what i mean.  good luck!

[LIP]

This guy seems to make you wonder all the time if he's cheating on you. You need to weigh things out and see if he really makes you happy. And I mean happy without the sex and without the money. Trust in a relationship is very important, it's the foundation for a couple. If you can't trust eachother, it's going to be very hard to go further in this relationship. And I've learned that a guy that appreciates you will show you with his actions and words. You won't have doubt. Men do like the chase, so let him wonder and chase you. You deserve better and every woman in this forum can tell you that, but you have to believe it and want it for yourself. You have to make a decision.Gaurd your heart and put your foot down. Don't let him run over you. Love sometimes blinds people....don't allow that blindfold to steal your youth, happiness, and value. Women have a lot to offer. And there are good guys out there that will treat you right and with respect, but respect and love yourself first.Your happiness comes first....I know you'll make the right decision and when you do, you'll realize and say,"what took me so long?"I hope this helps....Take care

[justme504]

THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT U ALL HAVE TRULLY OPEN MY EYES.THANKS ALOT IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE PEOPLE I CAN OPEN UP TO AND GET WONDERFUL ADVICE!!!!