I am a 43 yo divorced mother of 3 children. The man that I am dating now kindly told me that I am too loose down there and it takes a lot for him to "finish" since it is so loose. Is there anything that I can do?
No such thing. The vagina goes back to shape after having kids. Either he is TOO small down there, or has some other problem with not being able to finish. Any guy who tells a women something like that is a fool.
I would love to believe you however, he is not the first to say that to me :-( I'm sure that after having "large" children (smallest was the 3rd one at 9 lbs even) that it could be "loose"....I mean that only makes sense, wouldn't it?!?!?!
Have you tried doing Kegel? It's were you try to contract your pelvic muscles and making them tighter. You can do this while you use the bathroom too. To try and isolate these muscles try stopping and starting the flow of urine. It will help you muscles to become tighter and hopefully restore sexual pleasure for both you and your partner.
You partner should be a little more considerate though. I mean you did have three babies (large ones for that matter). I was also 9lbs when I was born, but also am the only child.
Yes, MSNiki412 is correct! I've had 5 children, and my exhusband used to tell me that all the time. I spoke with my Doctor about it, and he told me that the easiest, fastest, and safest way to correct that is to preform Kegel excersizes. I didn't have the slightest clue what he was talking about, and he patiently explained it to me like so...
"For the first week, each time you urinate, try to stop in the middle of urination. It's normal if you can't, but don't let that stop you from trying."
= at first, I couldn't. Even though I tried several times while urinating
"Once you feel comfortable enough to recognise the muscles you use to try to stop urinating, even if you are not yet stopping the flow, try flexing them while you are watching TV, or doing dishes... during normal everyday things, don't worry, no one will know you're doing it"
= I did try this, and for a few days I set myself to do it while in my truck traveling to and from work, as I was sure people would see my concentration, and know... lol
"Don't give up, don't forget about it, and sooner or later, you will be able to stop yourself in mid urination, several times through out, once you've accomplished this, your passage will be back to normal, if not better. Now, make sure you practice this tightening several times during intercourse as well, it will hieghten your sensations, and keep your muscles firm. A good position for this is military (regular, you on back DH on top) tighten muscles by lifting up your pelvic against him" (I found that hooking my feet behind him helped me to tighten thigh and pelvic muscles, or I would do mini sit ups by meeting him half way for a kiss, he likes that one... lol)
= I don't do the kegels as often as I used to in those first few months, but I make sure to use them during intercourse, because my Doctor was right!! It does hieghten sensations, and makes me (and hubby) crazy for more! Now, my current husband (no, I did not leave my last husband because of his rude jokes and insensitivity, but it sure helped me to see the jackass he truly was) says that he can't tell the difference between me, and his ex girlfriend who was a virgin. I can tell he is not just 'being nice' because he doesn't last very long... (shhhh) .... we're working on ways to avoid this... lol
Hope this helps, sorry if I got to personal, but I've helped other friends with the same problem, and it's been successful... wishing you the best =D
My ex-boyfriend had this exact same complaint about his ex-wife.
According to him, the vagina can be surgically reduced or tightened.
In truth, based on my experience with him... he's kind of on the small side.
Yes. I do understand the fact if you have had allot of babies, or perhaps big babies then yes it might be possible that you became alittle loose. HOWEVER, it has been known that allot of men will say that because well, they are on the small side and insercure about it. My vagina I know is a bit bigger, but I still feel my BF (and yes he is on the small side) and he never complains. He finishes ontime and perfect. So it goes both ways on this topic.
okay I like to have intercourse a lot, and it just fluctuates way too much. how do you explain the 2 months after my daughter is born and 2 months later after shes all healed up I'm feeling parts of the vagina that I
have never felt before, I mean it was good - real good.
I haven't had sex in over 2 weeks and she is loose as a goose...
How did you react to that statement from the guy you are/were dating? Are you now self-conscious having sex? I've been wanting to say something, but I don't want her to feel bad or make her think about it during sex. I know if I were told I was small I would have a tuff time with it. I've mentioned those kegels as a discussion topic, but it never pans out.
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