Hi I'm a 19 year old college student with a boyfriend for about 4 months and I drink about 2 to 3 times a week. We have been in a somewhat sexual relationship for about 2 months (I am still a virgin, but have given a ********, been eaten out, and fingered). My parents do not know that I have a bf or that I drink and I have to hide that from them because its not really acceptable with my middle eastern culture. About a month ago, my doctor diagnosed me with a UTI. I took the medicine and I was cured. I was not able to be honest to my doctor about being in a somewhat sexual relationship or that I drink because my mother was in the room. I believe that it may have been caused from being fingered because that happened about a day or 2 before it.
Now what has been bothering me, is about a week or 2 ago I experienced UTI symptoms again but just for one day. I had the urge to pee and felt uncomfortable while peeing and I would drip a tiny bit of blood when I finished urinating. This was not caused by my period because that occurred about a week or 2 beforehand. Ever since then, I have experienced itching inside my vagina. It is not painful or constant but comes and goes occasionally. My urine also smells strange. It is not foul though, just smells kind of weird. Nothing is wrong with my discharge; it looks the same and smells the same. Also whenever I finish peeing, I don't experience pain and I am not uncomfortable, but I do feel like I need to pee a bit more but I know all my urine is out so it does not bother me. I also do not have to pee frequently. I pee a normal amount of times within a day and my pee looks the same, it's just that it smells.
I would love to go to my doctor but I am scared to. My mom or grandma always come along with me and stay in the room with me and my doctor. They go all the time and there is no space for me to be honest with my doctor because of their presence. I could go maybe with them but I get scared of my mom's opinion because it occurred so close to the last one. My mom and grandma believe it is because I wear thongs and somewhat tight pants but I have worn thongs for about 3 yrs. I believe this occurred by my sexual relationship but I can't explain my symptoms.
I would like to know what my symptoms might be referring too. I don't completely think it is a UTI again because the symptoms are so different and my vagina itches every so often. Also if this is related to my relationship, what can I do to avoid further happenings of infections? I feel like they are both related to being fingered...
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I am sorry it is long but I tried to give as much of a background as I could and what I am experiencing. Researching the internet has not lead me to anything that includes all symptoms. I greatly appreciate this.
Oh and by the way, my boyfriend has been in sexual relationships before and is not a virgin. I have been fingered before by 2 other guys but he is the only real sexual partner I have had.
How is it that you cannot get away from your mother or grandma long enough to have a doctor appointment, if you are a student? Most schools have a student health clinic where you can at least see a nurse. I sure hope you can.
I actually did not think about that. My school does have a health clinic at school but I wasn't sure how helpful they would be. I really appreciate you reminding me this though. I think I will go there and see what they say.
As for my regular doctor, my mom and grandma are quite nosy about my personal and health life. Anytime I have been to the doctors they come along no matter what. If I were to try and tell my doctor I would like to talk to him alone, they naturally become suspicious as to why they can't be there or why I won't trust them. There's never really been a moment within a dr appointment where my mom or grandma have just stepped aside.
I'm glad about the clinic. It's a good place to go about this kind of question, it's a typical issue for students.
In the meantime, if you want, you might give some thought to why you feel obliged to let your mom come to your doctor appointments. You have the right of personal privacy. This is especially true in biological things, and after all, you are now legally an adult. She might be (as you say) being nosy and she might be doing it out of love and concern, but she has no inherent right to be in the room at your doctor appointments now that you are 19. (I'm looking forward to having my son go to his doctor appointments without me in the room by the time he is 12, so he can ask questions about his hormones or his penis without embarrassing mom standing there.) By the fact that you put up with it (I cannot imagine going to a gynecological appointment with my grandma in the room), it sounds like her overwhelming approach has conditioned you not to even think that this is unusual, or else to be passive about her encroachments into your life. But you should not feel guilty or wrong about asking for this, or for going to the clinic by yourself. Medical privacy is a basic personal right, and you are an adult now and it's time to take charge of your own life. You are certainly perfectly able to make your own appointments or even to get your own ob-gyn.
Anyway, this is not something to make a big deal over with your mother, but sooner or later you really need to gently snip the ties. I don't think you have something serious like an STD, but what if you had? And hadn't gone to a doctor because with her in the room you could not talk about it? The consequences would have been awful. Time to take charge of you.
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