Vagina too tight!!! Someone help!!!

Hi, i was wondering how to make the vagina just a little bit less tight. I know a lot of people tell me that guys like it when its tight, but mine is just a little bit too much. Whenever I have sex it takes my boyfriend a while to get in me and i almost always end up getting a tear because of it.I was wondering if there is any exercise or somthing that anyone might know about that decreases the tightness?? Thanks in advance!!

[greenpixie]

Have you ever tried using lube?  Sounds like that might help.

[luvlee904]

Have you and your boyfriend tried to use some KY or some type of lubricant?

[Gisselle84]

we have but it still makes it a little difficult. I heard yoga helps, is that true??

[greenpixie]

Wouldn't know about that.  You can try Keigles (don't think I spelled that right), but I really don't know of anything you can do.  Maybe increase the lube?  Also, are you sure that you are not tensing up and constricting?

[Learner1]

Try using lube & having ur boyfriend use his fingers first(sry if TMI).  Make sure you relax that can also cause it to be tight =)

[Wanting]

I have that problem too...not he tearing part but the tightness.  I have been married 9 months and it still takes awhile for him to get in.. I tend to be too dry often at times.  Like everyone else said, use lube if it is too tight.  Also, I have heard that you can help stretch it a bit yourself (its not masturbation because it is not for the purpose of 'getting-off') but just stick one finger at a time in and maybe try it in the day or before you have sex so that it has already been stretched a bit.  
Good luck.....

[Sunshine912]

I have to ask the same question as Greenpixie. Are you tightning up at all? This also may be a silly question but have you had any serious trauma in your life where upon the time of intercourse, you do clam up and get scared. You should not be that tight where you parter can not have intercourse with you.
Especially with lubricant.

[Jewelbar]

vaginismus is common. It can be caused by stress, and is often subconscious. Look it up. Lots of Lube will help, but may not cure the problem. You can try stretching the opening before intercourse with a dildo. SOmething that has smooth sides will help, because it is less likely to get caught or pull. Kegel exercises help, and you can "train" your vaginal muscles to relax. Insert one or two fingers, and cough. Feel it loosen? Well, now try to loosen it without coughing. Keep practicing until you can do it on command, without fingers involved.
I had it, and am still tight at times. I need lots of foreplay. Mine was brought on by stress of my husband having cancer.
Good luck.
Jem.

[shedevil31]

kEAGEL EXERCISES MAKE YOUR SELF TIGHTER

LOTS OF LUBRICATION NEEDED/ MAYBE YOUR TENSE.RELAX AND ENJOY
OR DH/BOYFRIEND IS ENDOWED!!

[daycare mom]

I know this is a serious problem, but i was just thinking about after i had my daughter and my husband commented on the fact that childbirth had stretched it out a little bit. If all else fails, have a baby.

[Muffin1]

I have had this problem my whole married life. You find ways to work through it. Here are my reccomendations: lay with your man, turn on some porn, while he plays with you, (foreplay) after about 20 minutes things lossen up, aply ample amount of lube to your man, have him slowly and gently insert. The trick is to keep him gentle the whole time-girls like us just can't have slam bam session!

[badgirl turns good]

i hav the same problem... me n my bf had tried and failed 2 hav sex bout 10 times even though  he gets me wet as rain.... i dont no if it wil work but try it in water thats wot my bf n i r goin 2 try..... good luck

[sparkleX]

I have the same problem. My vagina is really tight and it might not be so bad if my boyfriend weren't so damn huge. Lol. But seriously on most days he can't get in. He's really nice about it though. He takes it slow for me and he understands that sometimes there will be problems getting in. It can hurt a bit sometimes but if you and your boyfriend are in love then I think he'll understand. Just lube up and take your time.

[bigman58]

You don't want  to be to loose cuz you won't be able to feel it as much. When your not having sex and your alone go and finger yourself. After a while you'll be able to move to a vibrator and get a little loser. Guy like it tight casue it feels better on him and you. Use lube and grind away.

[emzo72]

I don't think you understand the problem here!

I have the same problem, and on numerous occasions the pain  has been so bad that it has brought me to tears. At times I really don't want to have intercourse because of the pain it gives me, but I power through for the sake of my partner. Lube is not the answer as I have been trying it for years and rarely makes a difference.

Guys may like it tight, but there is tight and tight, and the tight that we experience believe me is not always enjoyable for the guy.

[eliza84]

have you ever tried doing it in the water? ive been told it works like a charm. im going through the same thing. im 18 and recently started dating my boyfriend. when we have sex, it takes him a while to get in. also, he likes the girl on top, but i cant do that for him because he cant get in all the way and it hurts me too much. ive heard the kegel exersizes really do work. ive recently started them. its only been a few days so far but i think theyre working. ive also heard you should be as wet s possible. try foreplay for like 30minutes-1 hour before having sex. the more turned on and wet you are, makes it easier for him to get in. or you can do something else ive been trying. stick one finger inside your vagina to start with... use just one finger for a few days (atleast twice a day), then try 2 fingers and when u feel comfortable, try three. three fingers are supposed to be about the width of an average sized penis. if your man is bigger than that u can try four but i wouldnt recommend it. i hope this helps.

[NurseShelly22]

All I can say is Forplay...Foreplay....Foreplay...

[MandyBug]

"I don't think you understand the problem here!

I have the same problem, and on numerous occasions the pain  has been so bad that it has brought me to tears. At times I really don't want to have intercourse because of the pain it gives me, but I power through for the sake of my partner. Lube is not the answer as I have been trying it for years and rarely makes a difference."

I have the EXACT same problem!  I've been married for 3 weeks now (I waited for marriage to have sex) and I'm so tight I'm beginning to think it's a medical problem.  My husband is so understanding, he says "we'll find a way to work through it".  I'm just so annoyed and frustrated with myself that we can't have sex like normal people! I feel like it's my fault, even though I know it isn't.  

I'm so tight he can't get all the way in before I cry out in pain.  He doesn't want to hurt me so he backs off after that.  Lube doesn't help and we do all kinds of foreplay (no porn because neither of us is interested in seeing two people who aren't us going at it).  
As for it being subconscious I can understand that.  However it's hard to loosen myself by relaxing my muscles because when it hurts so bad, the basic human instinct is to tighten up!    

I'm gonna try the finger exercises and see if that helps.  
-Amanda

[tightgrrl]

Has anyone tried purchasing a speculum in a small or extra small size, and gradually working to stretch it out?  Curious if it'd actually work...  the speculum is what the doctor uses when doing a pap smear.  but since we'd be putting it in ourselves, we wouldn't have to spread it quite so far so fast...  thoughts?

[Dannie09]

Am 16, and all my friends have done it ! , i really need help. The time i tried it with my boyfriend it really hea me and even made me bleed, he had to take it out straight away! , how can i not use lube, but to be able to make it stretch? Pleasee helppp !

[GG707]

Try a vaginal dilator - you can order online. Lube isn't going to help, and "just grinding" won't help either. A dilator will actually stretch you out. I can't believe that most of the comments on here are "me too," and very few people have commented with actual advice.  

[woods015]

im having the exact same problem with my boyfriend. im 17 years old and have had only one other boyfriend who i had no problems with whatsoever. i can't really understand why this problem is occurring now with my new boyfriend. i keep thinking it might be just that i haven;t done it for so long. i just don't understand i thought maybe there would be some sort of excercise to loosen but there doesn't seem to be

[ratsou]

im starting to think theres something wrong with me, ive been fingered plenty of times by my boyfriend but it always seems to hurt, when one finger goes in its uncomfertable, when two go in its painful i always have to stop them .. im a virgin and i want to be able to have sex without being in terrible pain and bleeding everywhere:( none of my friends seem to have the same problem as me and im just wondering what im doing wrong haha .. any suggestions on what to do cuz its really worrying me :(

[Jord91]

i'm kinda similar to most people on here.
i'm 18 and i've had sex 4 times now. the first time was horrific, the pain was actually unbearable, and i actually hurt my boyfriend too.
the last time was fairly recent and with my new boyfriend. it had been a good year before i'd had sex again cause of the fear of pain, so it hurt at first but for you tight girls out there like me: i found a way of it not hurting so much/barely at all, and it is actually enjoyable. use the missionary position but make sure you hold your legs right up and he pushes forward and up, not just in. i swear, i really worked for me. also, it doesn't hurt him (happens in some cases).
things still aren't normal but i'm getting there, and my bf's really helping (: it's also just a case of regular intercourse, practise and stretching.

[Jord91]

does it ever feel like your vagina has been "traumatised"?

[bebej]

im the same too and its horrible! i had problems with tampons and fingering and now sex is the same way even tho ive done it enough now. its not just tight, like my bf will have to stop unless he'd want to hear me crying the whole time and it'll bleed for at least a day everytime!!!

[Jord91]

well, all i can say is just keep at it and make sure you've done enough foreplay beforehand.
i used to be bad too, not as bad as you cause it wouldn't bleed so much, but the pain was the same.
but now, after 2 months of sex, i would definately say i'm a lot better. it still hurts a little bit if i'm not prepared for it, but it's just a case of relaxing. and i KNOW that's not easy, cause i had a LOAD of trouble relaxing but once you done that, it should be easier.
it just stretches in the end. also, make sure you stretch it yourself too.
oh, and something that really REALLY helped me, was lube. and it's not expensive (:

[tanya770]

i hav a problem plz sum1 help!...im disabled wiv cerebral palsy and my hip muscles r tight whch meanz i cnt open my legz very wide, im worried that he will hav problems entering me. Do i REALLY need 2 hav my legz spread out lyk octopus armz! ? or can i get away wiv it. plz help.

[Jord91]

you really don't need to have your legs wide, i promise, you'll be fine (:

hey girls, i have a new problem. now i'm used to sex, i'm over my little "problem" of being too tight, things are better but not like i thought they'd be...
i've had sex like 40 times now, with my ex and now with my current "partner" and it's good but i've never been able to orgasm or even come.. i'm wondering if there's something wrong with me.....? my current guy can't understand it and is kinda worried..... help!!

[eyedoc1212]

I'm 25 years old, and I have been having sex for 9 years. I have a 3 year old daughter (C-section), and my vagina is still too tight for 2 fingers and requires a lot of patience for sex. My ex husband and my current boyfriend loves it, but no one....including me.....understands how I can be so tight. Sex is painful at times, and I cannot use tampons they are too uncomfortable. I am wondering if I have some problem or disease?  

[beckybabes]

I have the same problem Ive tried everything above but my bf can bearly get it in

[michaelnewman300]

My butt is too tight. Everytime my girlfriend sticks her strap on in me, I start to bleed profusely. And when I bleed to much, I start to get dizzy, like Im on a date rape drug. . . . . Now that I think about it . . . . I wish she'd **** me up the *** even more.

[gogomukambo]

All,
The is one of the common problems people face. So did i with my GF.
After having tried all the options like applying lube, foreplaying for some more time before instering, we failed.
Finally, we got a trick which worked and i believe it would work always with all.

Take some pure coconut oil and apply it on the vagina and massage it. Follow this with fingering starting with one Finger and slowly progressing it with two.  Oil being very smooth and slippery, the insertion is not that painful. Continue fingering for a 10 minutes and for 1 or 2 session as required. i assure you that the vagina will lossen a bit and will allow smooth and enjoyable insertions in some time.

Dont go for any other lubericants..its just a waste. Pure coconut oil is the best.

Happpy Sex!!!

GogoMukambo

[sarahwad09]

Meditation. This "will" loosen you up, and will make you very wet. Yoga does not necessarily loosen you up if you do it a lot then it might make you tighter.

[murda_mayne_1017]

Hahahah

[ZullyKeith]

Well all what I have to say is that I have the same problem. I'm 30yrs old, have a daughter (vaginal) and being married for 7 years. I love my husband we have tried ALL above. For my daughter I had a home insemination. I went to the dr he said all looks normal down there I dont know how if he couldnt insert the speculum only one finger. Having a baby it only may help in inserting a tampon or one finger. I bought the Dr Numb cream put it in in the entrance of the vagina, finally penis it went in just a little bit, without cream is very painful again. I tried everthing believe me. Oh and is not vaginismus.

[somebodyelse510]

You girls keep asking what the problem is... but not one person asked "AM I HORNY?" Are you girls even horny?? Maybe THATS your problem. Low libido.

[somebodyelse510]

You girls keep asking what the problem is... but not one person asked "AM I HORNY?" Are you girls even horny?? Maybe THATS your problem. Low libido.

[tanushka]

I have same problem and ive accepted it for what it is and am very happy..

The answer is in the question itself - its too tight- that is fine. We accept penis's that are too small or too large cos it is what it is and that not seen as a condition. However when a woman is too tight then reasoning of phsycology, lack of libido, lack of KY jelly etc is given like its unnatural. Relaxation, videos, foreplay, and KY might assist to a small degree but tha fact still remains the vagina is simply developed far too small for average intercourse. If tighteness is brought on by a contraction due to past phsycological experiences or lack of hornyness thats another matter. This is a physical fact, and as soon as we accept it for what it is we can relax and try to see what other sexual options there are. . If you in pain say so. You are not obliged to satisfy anyones needs whilst you feel pain, there are other ways to enjoy sex. Most partners are very understanding. If you feel forced to do what your body cannot do without pain you basically allowing yourself to be raped. Do what comes natural to you, we all different and thats a good thing.

[tea69]

I had the same problem and went to a gyno who told me to use my fingers to stretch it out, but it hurt!  My sex drive is definetely not a problem, but it hurts!  I changed gynos and my new gyno (a woman) was very understanding and helpful!  She said that it would be very difficult for a man to stretch me out and make sex enjoyable the way things currently were, so we're doing "physical thearpy" on my vagina...how embarrassing!!  Basically, I have medical, idk what to call them dildos? of dif sizes.  I have to put it in for 10-15 min a day, and go to a slightly bigger size every week.  She gave me numbing cream and lubricant to help with the pain.  And if all goes as planned I should be much better in about a month!  I can't wait!!!  Many of you sound like you have troubles similar to mine and I would advise you to check with your gynos or get new ones who are more empathetic!  This is embarrassing, but not a big deal!

[PornStar777]

Just relax, my ex used to just relax, it worked so well, I left her, she refused to tighten up her muscles and the sex was terrible.

You are the luckiest woman in the world you have a great asset, just master being able to relax your muscles enough.

I had a girlfriend who had excellent control of her muscles and I wish I had of married her, she used to do a lot of horse riding when she was growing up, I wonder if there is any connection?

[Darlin555]

I have a problem with a too tight vagina too. I also suffer from leg cramps because I drive long hours for a living. My brother suggested I eat a banana which is rich in potassium and helps relieves those muscles. Since the vagina IS a muscle, I thought perhaps the banana will help in this too. It does! Try the banana. Wait like 20 minutes and then have a go. I did all the other things: lube, fingering before sex, and the vibrator. Those things left me still tight. Pretty wet, but still tight. The banana helped that muscle. You can try other foods rich in potassuim too like a baked potato or raisins....

[DDMMW]

I think thats what I will have to do...eat more potassium. I hate bananas and almost everything that is rich in potassium. In addition to more foreplay because Im having trouble with vaginal tightening as well. Im not at all dry but when we take days to weeks at a time from having sex for various reasons, I feel the pain of loosing my virginity all over again. Extremely painful for me but my husband loves that my vagina tightens because its greater pleasure for him. He really trys to be gentle but sometimes he gets so caught up in the moment to the point that Im in tears. Ive tried the vaginal exercises and everything else but they really didnt help much...I dont know what else to do. Ive been this way since I first became sexually involved and has refrained from having sex as much as possible. Now that Im married, there's not much refraining I can do. But thanks for the tip...I'll give it a try.

[anna502]

my vagina is too too small to put a tambon in it
what should i do
i cant have sex with my boyfriend cause of this

[Ms_Puff]

Oh My Goodness ! I'm not alone , thank god. I'm having the same problem ladies. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year. We've had sex over 50 times (literally). He was my first. When we first had sex, I didnt really feel any pain but I bled ALOT , like gallons full and for like 3 days. But after that everything was fine and sex was normal and fun and enjoyable! I think we did it like almost everyday.. Then recently I went on vacation and I didn't see him for a week and a half. When I got back and we tried to had sex , IT WAS A FAILED ATTEMPT! I am so tight NOW! Like painful tight. He tried to go inside me and he went like 2 inches in and I started to CRY. It hurt so bad so we just stopped. He was really understanding and sweet about it though. So the next day we tried again. It was so painful, he wanted to stop but I told him to just keep going and after like 3 minutes the pain stopped and it felt normal. Thinking everything was okay after that, the next day we tried to have sex again but I was SO TIGHT again and it hurt! But we continued and again after 3 minutes or so, the pain stopped.  After the first incident we've had sex like 20 times and each first 3 minutes is so painful :'( .Why is this happening to me? I am so confused. I want to have sex but I don't want the first three minutes of it to be like torture! What should I do? And by the way we do plenty of foreplay and we use lubrication..

[jazzitup304]

Your an idiot! Only a man would say that!! AS TO THE LADIES ON HERE DEALING WITH TIGHT CERVIX (JUST AS I HAVE FOR MANY YEARS) THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT I FOUND THAT HELPED AND IT WAS CALLED MOON CYCLE TEA BY YOGI. ITS ACTUALLY FOR PMS BUT I BELIEVE THERE IS SOMETHING IN THAT TEA (MAYBE **** QUAI, CHASTBERRY OR THE GINGER) I HAVE NO IDEA BUT SOMETHING IN THAT TEA HAS UNTIGHTENED MY CERVIX , IT RELAXES ME AND SEX IS MORE PLEASURABLE. I FEEL THE WAY THAT I SHOULD FEEL, NO MORE PAIN. OF COURSE LUBE HELPS BUT ITS NOT GOING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. WHEN IN DOUBT HERBS, A GOOD DIET, AND MORE HERBS!! :)

[Poohtoo]

There is a condition called lichen sclerosis which affects some women, that contracts the tissues of the vagina and opening. It usually affects older women, and Drs are not sure what causes it - the treatment for it is a very strong cortisone cream (prescription strength, not over the counter) used daily.  You should get a mirror and check the skin color - if there are silvery patches of skin in that area, this may be the problem. If so, see a gynecologist!

[diverdown305]

When I was younger I had a girlfriend who experienced this. I later read an article that fit this situation. It explained that she had some underlying guilts with sex. We never had a discussion about the situation: however she had issues about taking it from behind. Which she though might be demeaning in some way. However my experience was that everyone except her enjoyed ''doggie style'' and preferred it . I found that allowing alot of extra time was very rewarding. However great amounts of oral sex to her would loosen her up the best. Dive on that baby to lube it up then use the fingers. Let her know how much you enjoy that vagina . A good oral technique once took her from too tight for 1 finger to a full fist in good time. I was 9 years her senior at the time . I was 28 . Take your time. Remember the 3 ''C''s ... Compliments... Cunnalingas  ... and Cunnalingas

[SLD1487]

I have no guilt problems with sex. I date women now actually.. But I've had the same problem. Let's make it worse.. I'm allergic to KY, and most other lubes based on the same ingredients. I've tried Kegel exercises.. stretching myself out.. It works, but.. it's still painful.. most of the time.

[ambermoor]

I have the same problem! it is too tight and my man is too huge. I remember reading in a christian sex book that a gyno could perform a trick to loosen it I'm not sure if it was a surgical procedure or something. I wanted to go to the clinic and hav a cut or something but I wonder hw will that help? is this a stupid idea?

[LittleOneToo]

I have the same problem .  My partner and I are just getting together.  he is very sexual as am I.  Our foreplay, lubrication, excitement level is great but..when he tries to enter me..I am so damned tight.  Nowl it didn't used to be this way in the past, no problems.  Here's my questions.  could it be that it's because I haven't had sex in quite a while?  'cause that's true..no sex for several years with a man, just masterbation (masturbation) which has always been great.  Or could it be because I work very hard outdoors, lots of stair climbing and squatting, lots of work all the time.  my leg muscles and butt muscles are very tight .  We wondered if that could be why because it is painful and he can only go on a few inches, somethimes not even that much and..ouch.  Lots of lube, lots of oral lots of everything, turned on to themax but, too tight.  Help

[42andTight]

Add me to the list of TOO TIGHT vagina's! I am 42 w/ 3 kids been married 13yrs. My husband loves it while I hate it cause it hurts like hell in the beginning/sometimes during. I have no problems reaching orgasm. I wonder why some women are made too small...=(

[mel_sometimes_hurts]

PLEASE tell your doctor!
I have had the same problem for years!
There could be a number of reasons causing this and you don't have to suffer!  It could be as simple as having an exposed nerve causing the tension. However, it can take them a few trial and errors to figure out exactly whats causing your pain and tension.  Right now I am taking lidocain injections in and around my vagina.  IT HELPS SOO MUCH! The initial injections are of course painful, but after that I can have sex or wear tampons without bursting into tears! I have had the lidocain last a few months with absolutely no pain and sometimes it just lasts a few weeks, but in my  opinion it its completely worth it.  I strongly recommend talking to your doctor about this.

[LoveMeDo]

I'm the same, I went to the doctor and was prescribed some lil things called dilators. They're small smooth pieces of plastic (similar to a dildo you could say) that vary in size, from 1cm in diameter, to 5cm. You use them as often as possible, when you feel comfortable with one size you move up to the next. They're great things.

[Mcm23]

Hey, there is a special item called a vaginal dilator that you can purchase in sets of 5 or 6 sizes, with instructions about how to use the product to CAREFULLY stretch the vagina.
Google vaginal dilators and you should get lots of responses. The kind with the handle is easiest to use and offers lots more control. You'll learn a lot about the insertion angle best for you in different positions, too. Use these only with lubrication.
Be cautious if you try this, consult your doc first, and/or be patient with yourself. DVD's and other materials are available to help.
Also, try Yes brand lubricant - all natural, made from organic products, available on the Internet so your privacy is assured.
Good luck, everyone.

[toothlessdaydream]

Hi! I just thought I would put in my thoughts on the matter. I know that fingering helped me, I used to be very small and one finger was very uncomfortable when I was inserting tampons. It was the same when I tried to have sex the first time, needless to say it failed. So I tried finger exercises in the shower, making sure to relax myself before. I got to two before I tried sex again, it was painfull but I was still able to accomidate him. I know others have said it but the most important thing is to relax. I don't care how you do it, if you have enough control over your body, if you use achohol or calming tea. For me, the best thing is to concentrate on how much I love my partner and want to take pleasure for both of us in this. Also take it slow. People have mentioned taking your time in forplay but it is also important once he is trying to enter. Insert his head and then move together, very very slowly introducing the rest of him, trying to use the body movement to let him slide inside as naturally as possible. Stop when it is first bit painful, and stay there for a while before continuing. Also after he has ejaculated, if you were able to make it that far, lie there for a while, several hours if possible and just let him rest inside you. It won't, or shouldn't, be nearly as tight as when he is aroused and should work similarly to the finger exercise.

[Ambertexas56]

Try using 'Lube'
And also, try using the fingering technique, just until the vagina isn't so tight, I was the same, after some fingering, and, the lube, you'll b just fine.
Make sure you are not tensing up, and it does sometimes depend on what position you are in, when having sex. Thnx for readin yall.

[silverdreamss]

I'm 18 & I'm just recently having sex, (within the past few weeks) and at first it hurt sooooooooooo bad! Fingering is fine (2 fingers) & pleasurable for me, but my boyfriend is VERY large and it hurts when we have sex sometimes. A few things I've discovered is the missionary position is so far the best position. It took a lot of time for me to get used to it & a lot of patience on my boyfriends part. He has been going really slow and gentle, and making sure to stop when I tell him. Obviously the wetter the better, and the easier he'll slide in. I want to try lube as well, but so far we haven't.  Anyway, after working at it for a few weeks we can now have sex and both enjoy it like crazy, but only in the missionary position. My boyfriend wants to do "leap frog" position but that is a wayy different angle & it's gunna take a lot of time for me to be loose enough for that. I'm very athletic & flexible, so I think that has worked to my advantage, seeing how it hasn't been much time from going from virgin to loving it. So i suggest stretching, lots of foreplay to get you wet or if you can't get that wet use lube, have him go slow and gentle in the missionary position until you can handle it, and eventually enjoy it. Our bodies are meant to have sex so I'm sure you'll grow accustomed to it, but patience is the key.
Also, one last tip that worked for me. I had him go in super slow, and when the pain got really bad I just told him to hold on, and he didn't pull out, he just stayed exactly where he was, then I made myself relax, then told him to go in a little more. I think this is ultimately what has stretched my vagina, and now he can go almost all the way. He is reallyyy big so that's a feat I'm proud of lol. Anyways, good luck! If nothing works, maybe a doctor can help or something.