Whoa is me / open forum

[lucylocket2]

Hello ladies. It's about 5 in the am here. I have been up all night. Nightmare and stuff. I REALLY  wish my computer would work right!  I am having one of my bout's. I don't really ever post about them, cause I don't want ya'll to think I'm a nut or something. Well, .......I am.  I get these bout's a few times a month. The doc has given me many med.'s for it, but I won't take it. I try to handle my problems the hard way ,I guess. I figure the good Lord won't give me more than I can handle. I just wonder why he makes it so hard!        This really isn't a heath thing, I just need my friends to help me. Well, I guess it is health, cause it's givin me the poopy doo's, insomnia, headache, mood swing's, ect....  I feel like the world is falling in around me and I can't do anything about it. Christmas is right around the corner and I'm afraid I won't be able to get my kids the stuff they want. Hubby makes ok moo la, but life is so hard! Everytime I turn around somebody want's it. He didn't get holiday pay. Union decided we needed to take it away for 3% more interest on our retirment. Yeah, we'll be happy one day,,,,,,,,, WHEN WE'RE OLD!!! My friend told me yesterday that I needed to disipline my kids more. Maybe I do. I dunno. I am so upset with everything. Why can't I just feel better??? I'm not gonna kill myself or do anything selfish like that. I'm just so down and can't get back up. I hate feelin this way. I never got out of my pj's yesterday. I even went to the store in them. Hey, at leat they matched.I'm sorry for putting this on ya'll, I'm just sad. Thanks for listening.

[PGB]

I know exactly how you feel girl.  The money problems and worry about Christmas.  Until we started opening a Christmas club account every year, we were the same way, or I was.  Hubby says we'll do what we can and not worry about the rest.  For some reason I can't develope that attitude. I  know some people don't have those problems, but I really believe that they are few and far between.  The majority of us are probably in the same boat.  That Christmas club was the smartest thing we ever started doing.  Hubby's paycheck from fire dept. is direct deposit every Friday.  Every Monday they take $40.00 from our checking account and put it in our Christmas club.  We get a check the first week in November.  It's a life saver!

As for the friend, does she have kids of her own?  I have found that most people who hand out all of this free advice on child raising either don't even have any kids.

It will all get better.  And your kids will love what they get for Christmas.  You know that, don't you?  They will be so excited over what they DID get, they probably won't even think about what they didn't get.  Cheer up.  It will get better.

[lucylocket2]

That is a great idea! What got me was when my daughter was lookin at walmart's site. They want a game that cost $200. I have two kids so that's $400! I don't want her to know anything about $$$. That's not fair to her. When she saw it she said "mommy, I didn't know they cost that much". She then went on to find cheaper stuff. I feel like a bad parent. Not because we can't get it, but the fact that she knew to do that. Ya know what I mean? My dh is a lineman.The union sends him from place to place. Depending on the scale, decides what he makes. THIS ASSIGNMENT SUCKS!!! Scale is very low. Couldn't of happened at a worst time. I am really worried. I can always ask my parents for money, but i don't want to. It's not their job to take care of my kids, ya know?  I'm sure everthing will be fine, but I am worry wart. When stuff like this happens, I lose it. I just can't handle it. I told dh to check with the union hall - they take $ out everyweek for some vacation fund. We have never seen a dime of it though. Maybe we can get it to help with Christmas. I feel bad to because I am finished with the rest of my shopping. I just have the kids left. I didn't expect this to happen. I planned on spending the rest of the checks on the kids.. Now the checks are so low, I'm worried. I counted my chickens before they hatched. My dad ALWAYS told me not to do that, and here I am. I wish I would of listened. Thanks for answering me.

[sdp4314]

Uh oh.  More insomniacs!  I'm sorry you too are still up.  It's 5:15 am here CST zone.

[PGB]

Now you have mail.  I have been up twice tonight.  The last time to stay.  I have been up since 2:30!!

[lucylocket2]

yeah I'm one! I got up because, I was driving down the road and a paint truck sprayed all over my windsheild and caused me to wreck into a state police car. Hubby came and hid the car from the cop's and I went to getit. The people were Mt. fold that had been inbreeding for years. I was trying to get away, but they cought me. They had dog poo all in their house an I couldn't hardly walk. In order to get away they wanted me to give them money that I didn't have . They said they'd take my kids (two girls) to help their family. I tried to get away by crawling thru a cave and got stuck. I couldn't move!!!

What a night! I'm worn out from all that runnin.

PGB -  oh yeah, - yes, my friend has a 2 year old. she is a great mom. My dd is going thru the temper thing over , even thoguh she has a room full of clothes  -she has nothing to wear. Normal girl stuff, but I guess I have been to easy on her lately. she bucked on me yeaterday morning. I should of made her wear a potato sack to school, but I didn't. I had a weak moment, I guess.

[PGB]

Hey, watch out!!  Sounds like those hormones!!!!!!!!!!!

[xrayu2]

My daughter is nine and has checked the prices of everything she sees since she was about 6 maybe 7. Some kids have a different idea about spending money.  My dd wants the most for her money. Maybe your daughter is the same way. As far as money woes, it does not matter how much you make there seems to be a place you spend it and come Christmas you wonder where it is going to come from. For us it always works out and the kids always seem to be happy.  I have been up off and on all night and up to stay since 4:45. Also, and just my two cents, the way you raise your child is your business and outsiders always seem to think their way is the best.  I hope you start feeling better soon.  I am there with you most days those-right down to the PJs.

[PGB]

Welcome.  Maybe we could convince med help we need an insomniacs forum?

The way we raise our kids IS our business, isn't it?  A girl after my own heart.  I just think, I won't tell you how to raise your kids, so don't tell me how to raise mine, ya know?

[sdp4314]

Xray: Hi!  Nice seeing you over here.  I remember you from the OVCA section.  Thanks for chiming in.

PGB: Yes,insomniac forum would be most helpful, huh?
Lucy:  NO wonder you can't sleep, those dreams are awful!

[mslkpage]

I'd like to think that God does not give us more than we can handle. But he also gave us the people that create mood stabilizers and anti-depressants. I resumed Welbutrin a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm wondering why I waited so long!!

No shame in meds, girlie!

[glad2bamom]

mslk: I agree.  But, actually, the truth of it is that God won't give us more than we can handle with His help...and He helped me find my local physician (like after mom died) and I found Wellbutrin, as well.  I have no problem with med's either.  I just have to be really careful, b/c I don't want to become so dependent on them that I can't survive without them.  They do make things so much better, though, don't they!

[Adevotee]

I just wanted to comment on the "raising our kids" thing. My SIL acts like I am not raising my son properly. She even went as far as saying that parents that allow their child(ren) to have a pacifier past a certain age are lazy and are bad parents. My son had his until he was 2, then had it for sleeping until he was 3. I saw and still see nothing wrong with it, he wasn't walking around the house, or anywhere else for that matter, with it. He would give it to me as soon as he got up and I would put it away until it was time to go to bed again. Anyways, my SIL treats me like I am a bad parent and am raising my child wrong. I hate it but I know deep down that I am doing the best I can, at least I am raising my own, she leaves hers with her parents 90% of the time.

*no word on the mothership or the "home planet" yet either*

[JoAnnaRF]

I'm from Georgia and the Redneck way is always a good way;)

Let's see.. A Velvet Elvis is ALWAYS a great gift idea. Crochet toilet paper covers or toaster coazies.. Home-made ceramics, especially if they are a bit naughty are also a great gift idea. Anything in the ole barn that you can convert into a home-made salt and pepper shaker? And car parts that you call an "ashtray" will also work nicely. Deer antlers, wagon wheel tables. Oh and customized Christmas tree ornaments made from the caps off of old spray paint cans!! Jazz them up with a lil paint and aluminum foil!
Sounds like a dandy Christmas!! Have fun with it. That's what it's all about!
--J

[lucylocket2]

Great idea's!!! My brother always picks on me. Well, he has a son that they try to raise like a city boy. A long with his reg. gift. i am making ahim a gift on the computer. I have a plain t shirt that will fit him. I am using the computer to make an iron on that says - I am the son of a WV redneck! I am going to try to assa pic of my brother in the 80's. feathered hair an all. With the comb in his pocket.

[mslkpage]

I stopped the Welbutrin for about a year and did okay for awhile. But this TTC/infertility stuff was REALLY getting to me, overwhelming me, actually. I'm glad I got back on it. It's only been about 2 weeks, and I can already tell the difference.

[lucylocket2]

I have been on a few, but they make me feel funny. I have a new one here they gave me that I haven't tried yet. It's called effexor xr. Have any of ya'll ever heard of it??

[PGB]

Take a light bulb  and pull the part that screws into the socket off, paint it, put a fishin' hook on it, tada! Homemade ornament!

Or, take an ice cream cone and those satin wrapped ball ornaments, glue the ornament in the cone, use glitter glue sticks to decorate, another homemade ornament!!

Ya'll, I swear my kids have made these ornaments!  They are hanging on my tree right now!!!!!  Swear!!!!  Not only am I a redneck, so are my kids!!!hahaha

[JoAnnaRF]

My tree is also covered in questionable ornamentation? hmmm most are the lovely ornaments my children have been making since they could hold a crayon.
But I have a Redneck story.. No lie.. One year when I was like 4 or 5 my mama made a batch of Christmas cookies. They were chocolate and they BURNED BIG TIME. Well one came out and off the pan holding it's perfect X-Mas tree shape and so she covered it in Elmers glue and GREEN gl*tter. Then threaded a hole through the tip and put a hook on it. That burned X-Mas tree green glitter cookie orament hung on our tree EVERY year for 20 years!! About 10 years ago we had a new kitten that identiffied it as "food" and had a go at it crumbling it to pieces. Now that is a true REDNECK X-Mas tree ornament.
Oh and she actually TRIED to make more of them out of some burned peanut butter cookies a few years later but seems that peanut butter doesn't hold up as well as the chocolate;)
--J

[anxiousmomtobe?]

My husband's family is from the Netherlands, they don't really exchange Christmas presents there.  On Dec 6 St. Nick leaves a few small things for the kiddies.  

So, he grew up with a simple Christmas and we are trying to keep it simple for our kids.  I spend a maximum of $100 per kid plus their stockings.  we spend $100 on each other as well.  I tell my three year old to ask Santa for one thing.  I tell him Santa has so many kids to visit that it is best not to be greedy as he already has lots of toys.

When my daughter was little, I was a very poor single mum, and she got very little, she never even noticed.

Christmas club sounds like a great idea.

[sdp4314]

I love your story and your "gift" ideas...LOL  That is what I needed today!  Thank you.

[lucylocket2]

I HAVE HAD A BRAIN STORM!! I think it's a good idea. Tell me what ya'll think. I just found out that my brothers, wives, kids are commin in for Christmas. I have 3 brothers. I think Christmas is for the kids so I don't see whare I have to buy for my brothers and their wifes. Kids are fine. Here is my idea!....

Ya'll know where I am from (wv). We are known as the redneck state. Two of my brothers have moved and like to joke with me about still bein a WV redneck. I always say I am proud, and I am. What if I do a redneck Christmas!? I will buy nice gifts for the kids, but for my brothers and their wives( I don't like anyway) I give them redneck gifts?? Like a half empty thing of shine, or a ol' car part. I'm still thinkin. Got any more redneck idea's???? I want stuff I have out in the shed or stuck back in a closet. Things I don't have to buy. We have old buildings that have been on the farm for 100 years. I thought about an ol' horse shoe. I am goin to write a little jingle on a card about the gift too. It's the thought that count's right?? This way I do put a lot of thought in to it. It makes it special! What do ya'll think?

[lucylocket2]

The mothership. Are ya'll talkin about the same thing i am? If it is I NEED IT!!!!! I havin withdrawl!

About others tellin ya how to raise your kids. I know, I know. I admitt I have been wrong about a lot. Now, I am payin for it. I never made my kids clean up their own mess.I thought I was bein a "good mommy" by doin it for 'em. WRONG!!!!! I have fixed it some though. They wouldn't clean....... I boxed it all up. There.... CLEAN ROOM! Some may think I wrong about that too. I don't give a flyin flip. It worked for my kids. All kids are different. What works for one may not for the other. If ya had 100 kids , ya wouldn't have any two alike.

[JoAnnaRF]

I know, Christmas time is so hard. I mean I LOVE it and all but at the same time, can't wait to just get it over with. This is that point where us Mom's are doing the JUGGLING act of finding the money to make it work. We ALWAYS make it work but the beginning of Dec. is the time when we start thinking, geeze, this year, it just isn't going to happen! And then it does! This is the firt year that I have no "believers" in the house. They all now know that we are Santa. It's sad in a way, but at the same time, all the Chrismas's before where Santa got all the credit will now come to us. Kids know when times are tough even if you don't share your money problems out loud with them. They know. And when the kids learned that Santa was us they were like, OMG, how did y'all pull that off?!?! That's part of the MAGIC of Christmas!
As for people telling others how to raise their kids... I have no use for them. I can have my opinions if I see a child misbehaving, but I would NEVER presume to know what is going own in that child's life or family to voice my opinion. I don't want anyone telling me wht to do or implying that I am not a good mother and I would NEVER do that to another woman. People that go around telling others waht to do need to worry about their own backyard. Now I have had friends or sis-in-law ASK my opinion or what I think she she do in certain situations and in that case, sure it's fine, but unsolicited advice is a real
No No!
Have a Great Day Ladies and everybody TRY to take a nap today;)
--J

[Adevotee]

yes the mothership is needed by ALOT of us. I think there are many having withdrawls.

I agree with the kids. You need to do what is "right" for your kids, whether that is "right" for anyone else's kids doesn't matter. I keep telling myself that. :)

[PGB]

That makes me think of when I was a kid and one of my aunts had a recipe for homemade christmas ornaments that you mixed up and rolled out really thin, cut out with a cookie cutter, and baked in the oven.  Then we painted them.  Those were the ugliest ornaments I ever saw.  But they hung on my grandmother's tree every single year.  You'd have thought they were made of gold!

[lucylocket2]

I'm glad to see others have tree's like mine. lol i always say I have the most ugly tree, but it was made with love. The poor tree ends up looking so bad. Hubby get's so mad, and when I laugh it bothers him more. He pulls the chainsaw out and goes to town. Some years they are short, some tall. Depends on how frustrated he get's. It's thrown in the yard a few times, hour later he goes and get's it. Round 2.  The kids are a delight too. lol The look of torture on their faces is so cute. I make hot cocoa and play Christmas music. I wear my battery powered flashing santa shirt, with a huge smile on my face. I still get ready for santa. Home baked cookies and all. I even have a little plate and cup for him. I MAKE the kids help me. We have a blast. lol I hate they're growing up. It's so sad!! I don't care what they say I WIL HAVE SANTA CLAUSE FOR EVER!!! I don't care how old they are.I enjoy it!  Oh,,,, my happy little family. We are a sight this time of year. lol

[sk2006a]

sorry to hear you're so sad right now.  have you thought about suggesting to your BIL/SIL that you just exchange gifts for the kids?  we did that several years ago and it's been great!  not only saves money but a ton of time, since i always had such a hard time shopping for them.  let's face it:  how often do we get gifts from our in-laws that we actually like :)

and, your kids sound fine.  anyone who thinks they have a perfect kid is delusional!  or else they have a pretty boring kid.

that mothership needs to get into warp speed:  i need to be beamed up pronto :)

[lucylocket2]

i have tried to contact the mothership via email. No response yet. Oh, what shall we do?


                   Wondering in WV

[lucylocket2]

oh yeah, read the 13th one down. It will answer the other .

[sk2006a]

it's a cute idea, as long as you know they'll think it's clever, too.  if they have any sense of humor, they'd probably appreciate it.

[PGB]

Girl, my husband couldn't care less if we even put a tree up.  He did pitch a fit with me the 1st Christmas in our house about a real tree and I told him if I couldn't have a real one then he could fork out the dough to buy a PRETTY artificial one.  And he did.  He laughs at me because the darn thing is still ugly.  But, it's all good.  

And as for a redneck tree, did you read my post the other night about putting the tree up?  Sunday night, I think.  Anyway, he always takes the kiddies out doing something and I put the tree together and get the lights on it ready for them to decorate it, well,I decided to go on and put the angel on top since they can't do that but I was too lazy to go get the step stool.  I stood on a chair.  And fell.  Hurt my back and broke the angel's wings off.  Couldn't find any super glue but I did find some kind of funny named cement glue stuff I decided to try.  Well, I got tired of holding it waiting for it to dry, so I used duct tape to hold the wings in place over night until it dried.  The only place to put it where my kids couldn't reach it to mess with it was on the tree.  When my husband came home with the kids there the angel was on the top of the tree in her ivory dress with gold trim and all this gray duct tape wrapped around her!  He said, "you might be a redneck if......"

[lucylocket2]

lol, I just got a mental pic of that one. Tooo funny!  I hang the stockings - from the deer antlers hangin in my den. I don't want to put tacks in my wall! Hubby said we need to invest in those new sticky hangin things. Ya know, that you can pull the thing and get it off the wall. With no mess. I told him it would break tradition. lol

[PGB]

Don't waste your money.  Stick with the antlers.  We bought those things one year.  They work great, BEFORE santa comes.  Then you put the stocking stuffers in and the dang things fall off the wall and are laying on the floor!!  Now, I ask you, what the heck is the point, if they are going to fall anyway?

[pertykitty]

you know i so love you!! you always put a smile on my face. do you know how valuable that is? when we seem to be at a low point and wonder what we are doing in this world, you do it without even knowing it. im sorry times are hard, i so understand. i took effexor for several years. i was on the max, 300 mg. my dr believed in medication for sure! it was a life saver. however, you must take it daily, skipping or stopping it suddenly will give you withdrawls from hades!! the pros definatly outway the cons however. im not an overly religious person, more spiritual than anything, but have you thought about droppin to your knees if you get my drift?? lucy i remember you saying your parent had money? one of the things we need to do at times is LET others help us. pride will get the better of us. as for your friend, everyone has the right answer, and they usually are the ones with the kids that need something. lucy from what i have read you are a GREAT mom. you are giving, and unselfish, nurturing and you lead them to live a life that is right. never doubt yourself. this can go for all of us moms that doubt what we do. the christmas spirit has taken over me i guess lol. maybe love IS all we need. oh no im a cheesehead!! lucy----you need a massage!

[lucylocket2]

Thanks so much! Ya really made me feel better. That was so sweet. I think I'm gonna start on the pills. I need to face it I NEED'EM!!  Things seem to be gettin worse. I just don't getit. I try so hard to be the "happy " one. I want to be. Who wants to be a sad sally? I feel like I'm crazy though. Last night I was in the kitchen and heard a gun shot. I felt falmes cover my body. I knew what it was.   People on my land sopt lightin! They killed one of my beautiful deer!!! I am so friggin mad. I called barney fife and was told they would "try" to get up there. WTF ever! My house is hidden by the woods. I am flippin out the #&%#*^$%(&% won't know my house is here and shoot right threw my window.!  Stupid pochers! Makes me so mad!!

I found some stuff for Christmas at the family $$ yesterday. I am so slick. Kids were with me and didn't have a clue. Man, I am good! Thanks for sayin I'm a good mom. They are my life. I worry cause what I feel like what I make them will be the adults they become. What if I mess up ??  I try my best, that's all I can do, I guess.
Have a great day! Love ya too!