Wife's vaginal problems

[7up7up]

I'm starting to think that me and my wife will never have sex again. I just don't get it. She had a vaginal yeast infection for, well, no one really knows how long. Suspecting at least a year. First doctor didnt catch that it was a yeast infection and told her to just use lubrication.

Second doctor thought it was some infection relating to somehow wiping from the anus to the vagina and gave her a pill for that.

After that didn't cure matters, we were referred to a specialist in Hershey PA. We have seen this specialist three times. First time there, he took samples, said it was a yeast infeciton. Prescribed a form of sporanox. She was on that for roughly 1 month. We went back, he said to keep taking it, no real signs of improvement.

Came back 2 1/2 months after first visit, he said the yeast infection is gone. No way that yeast could be living up there, he said, with the dosage she was on.

So he said to start using lidocane (spelling?) on a cotton ball positioned at the opening of the vagina. And he said he believed that lubrication would be help the inside friction. He said that she should try this for 5 weeks and that 70-80% of people see improvement by this method. He also said that the people that dont see improvment then have an injection of some kind of steriod once a week into some area of the vagina.

That is where we are. I tried to finger her last night, and the same pain is still there. She's only done the cotton ball thing for about a week.

We are just so frustrated. From me fingering in her and getting the reaction of pain, i just dont see how lubrication will solve matters in there. I can't find anything on the internet about the recovery process after a bad yeast infection. It seems like what i've read is that when the infection is gone, pain should be gone, or at least weakened. Am I wrong in that assumption?

He looked under a microscope to tell us that he believes the yeast infection to be gone. Is that enough proof? Could it still be there? She has no pain on the outside of her vagina, he said it looks healthy, no swelling, no different colored discharge, no lumps that i can feel, no strong odor, pain just inside her vagina (burning), and pain a middle finger length's in.

I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance. We dont have sex obviously. I just try to pleasure her with oral and my finger. We want sex. We didnt have pleasurable sex on our honeymoon because of it. Has anyone ever gone through something like this? Or know someone that has? Frustrated beyond belief. I have trouble applying myself completely at work and at home. Because if this isn't fixed, and if we have trouble conceiving (she is 23), what is the point??? We repented to God for having premarital sex. Is this his way of punishing us? I'm so sorry. We were wrong.

Thanks for any replies,

A very concerned and worried husband

[marra315]

hi, i have spoke to you before ! i had exactly that problem for 3 years , dont know if you remember me or not . i had an implant in and had it removed in jan and took an unlicenced treatment from my gp , i had fluconazole tables wich are only allowed as one offs but gp said to take 1 a week for 8 weeks in a row and that did help , i have a lot of scaring ang irritation from being so severe but not pain now ! and i am finaly able to relax and have sex .
i told you before if you cant remember that mentaly i panicked evry time my hb hugged me in case he wanted sex and it did push us apart but now we are like a new couple !
dont give up , i have huge resect for you being so understanding with her .you are a good man and obiously love her ,please dont beat ya self up about pre marital sex it aint all that bad and you did marry her in the end . luck to you both x x

[7up7up]

She was on birth control pills for over a year, but stopped them about 5 months ago. She no longer uses soap inside her vagina...but was for the longest time. She stopped with the soap a few months ago. We havent used a condom is 2 years, roughly. As you can see, we've tried to eliminate all the bad things we've discovered. She even used baby powder down there during her periods, and has since stopped because of our discovery that it can lead to yeast infections. Thanks!

[stephni]

Ok, I have a few questions. Other than lube, are you using or were you using condoms, or was she on some type of birth control? Or what about the kind of soap she is using. All of these things can be a factor.
Down there is a sensitive area. And there can be numerous things that can irritate it.

[free spirit]

I haven't kept up with all of your posts, but has your wife ever been to a physical therapist that works with pelvic pain?   Especially one that works with myofacia release.  Her body is probably so wound up tight from the pain that there is noway for her muscles to relax.  This is non-invasive, no drug side effects.  It's also a very valid treatment that works.

[RKRSK]

Has she tried to check if she is diabetic? This also causes alot of yeast infection - if she changes her diet and she is treated for diabetes then she will be fine. My mum had the same problem - she was checked for STI and STD until they found out that she was diabetic.

[7up7up]

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[AnnieBrooke]

Try googling vaginismus.  I believe there is even a site called vaginismus dot com, but don't know if that is commercial -- there might be a Wikipedia entry on the topic, in which case that would be a place to start to read about the issue.  It sounds like with all the tension related to the infection, what is happening now is an involuntary muscle clamp-down when she is penetrated.  I think there are therapies and treatments and even stretching devices for vaginismus (don't stop with the lidocaine that the doctor recommended, though).  I can see it would be frustrating -- in the meantime, I will bet you that your wife would be happy to give you "hand jobs" and have you just caress her.  She is probably so worried that you are not having a good time that it is just making things worse.  Stress is not your friend in this regard because it creates a downward spiral, so try that alternate route to pleasure and let her know she is making you feel good with that, so she won't feel guilty and awful and make everything worse in her mind than it is already.  For the record, I think this is not God's way of punishing you, but guilt might be contributing to the problem.  But there is also physiology involved, and for that, you should be able to relax the pressure to some extent by having those other kinds of sex rather than penetration.  Good luck.

[7up7up]

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